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Body Image + Nutrition in Midlife+-Deb Benfield, MEd, RDN

@agingbodyliberation

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Body Image & Nutrition Therapy for Women in Midlife & Beyond. Your body is not your life’s project. 📗Book 💡Groups 👋Community. Details here ⤵️

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Pub Day feels especially tender and especially urgent.

I wrote Unapologetic Aging for you, the one who’s spent years trying to be “good”.

Good with food.
Good with movement.
Now good with “managing”menopause and aging too.

I wrote it for you if you’re tired of managing yourself, tired of being told your body is your project, tired of feeling like your must earn being seen and worthy by following the body ideal rules.

This book was shaped by my four decades sitting with clients and listening to the quiet grief, the body shame they inherited, the exhaustion and disempowerment of diet/wellness culture and now anti-aging rules, and the deep longing to feel at home in one’s own body.

I didn’t write it to tell you what to do.
I wrote it to walk alongside you as you break free.

To offer language when yours has been taken.
To offer practices when thinking harder hasn’t helped.
To offer permission to relate to your body with more compassion, curiosity, and respect right now, not “after”.

Yes, this moment is challenging. Diet culture is back even louder and the skinny apocalypse is upon us. The anti-aging dogma is everywhere.

And still, there is a crack.

More people are also questioning the rules.
More people are opting out.
More people are choosing connection over control.

This book is me putting my foot into the crack and inviting you to join me.

Unapologetic Aging is out today.

Order it at the link in my bio, share it with someone who needs it, and if it supports you, please leave a review-it truly helps this work reach the people it was written for.

As always, thank you for being here.

Love,
Deb💕

#bookstagram #pubday #proaging #UnapologeticAging by @agingbodyliberation

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10 months ago

⚡️Your midlife+ body isn’t the problem-internalized ageism is. ⚡️

We’ve been taught to see our softening bodies, shifting weight, or wrinkled skin as “flaws” instead of natural, powerful signs of life and living.

Those limiting beliefs don’t just shape how you feel about yourself-research shows they can actually harm your wellbeing.

In my latest newsletter, I’m unpacking why untangling from internalized ageism is one of the most liberating and life-giving things you can do in midlife and beyond.

You can find the link in my bio or drop a ❤️ in the comments and I’ll send you the link.

I would love to hear how your internalized ageism is showing up in your body story and self talk. You are not alone! Please let me know your thoughts in the comments 👇🏼.

Thank you for being here!
Love,
Deb💕 by @agingbodyliberation

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197

a year ago

There are a lot of new faces here so I want to introduce myself!

Hey and welcome-I’m Deb!

I’m so glad you’re here, whether you are new or have been following for a while.

I’m a Registered Dietitian/ Nutrironist with 40 years of experience helping people heal their relationship with food, movement and their bodies. Now, just as much as my credentials, my work is rooted in my lived experience: I’m 66 and I know firsthand how hard it can be to live in a changing body in a world obsessed with thinness and youth.

I’m 66, a single mom of two soulful men, and a grandmother to two free spirited kiddos. I love friends and family mightily and I’m seeking more community and connection. I just spent the last two years under house arrest to finish my book, Unapologetic Aging, so I’ve got a serious case of wanderlust right now!

Here’s what I believe:
✨ your body was never meant to be your project.
✨ you don’t have to shrink to be worthy.
✨perimenopause, menopause and beyond is not a crisis (though it can feel like it sometimes)-it’s a powerful time of waking up to who you are and what you need while your body deserves listening and tending to carry you through.

I’m here to help you untangle from diet culture and ageism, to trust the wisdom of your midlife+ body, and to nourish yourself with care, not rigid rules.

What you’ll find here:
💛 encouragement and skills to step out of the body shame cycle
💛 consistent reminders that aging is a privilege, not a problem
💛conversations about nourishment, playful movement, nervous system regulation and body liberation
💛 reflections on how to live with more ease, embodiment, and body confidence-no matter your age or body size
💛 pushing back on systems that undermine your trust in your body

I’m passionate about creating a space that-
helps you feel less alone;
that reminds you your worth isn’t tied to your body size or youthful appearance;
that supports you in treating yourself with the tending you deserve.

If you’re looking for a place where being in midlife+, trusting your body, and nourishment can coexist-you’ve found it. I’m so glad we’re connected.

📸 @jodiebrim by @agingbodyliberation

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a year ago

Can we be done with the body-fixing shit already?

I'm hearing from so many women in midlife and beyond who are exhausted by the endless pressure to lose weight, fix their bellies, reverse aging, and optimize their bodies.

They want something different.

But here's the thing I've been thinking about:

Even when we decide we're done fighting our bodies, the fight doesn't automatically disappear from inside us.

I know this firsthand.

Hell, I wrote a book about it. And I'm still practicing what I wrote about.

Knowing better isn't the same as living differently.

And sometimes, choosing a different way of relating to our bodies can feel pretty lonely, especially when everyone around us seems to be caught up in the same body-fixing conversations.

What if we could find each other?

That's what I'm exploring in this week's Substack essay, Can We Be Done With the Body-Fixing Shit Already?

It's about practice, not perfection. And finding our people along the way.

🦋 Read the full essay at the link in my bio.

Are you feeling done with the body-fixing conversation, too? by @agingbodyliberation

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14 hours ago

Turkey neck. Bat wings. Crepey skin. Granny hands. Meno-belly. Muffin top. Hip dips. Thigh gaps.

Have mercy.

Once I started making this list, I couldn’t stop.

And it got me wondering: Is there a single inch of a woman’s body that hasn’t been given a body-shaming name?

Even more interesting to me is what happens after we learn the name.

A part of our body we may never have thought much about suddenly becomes something to notice and even feel shame about. Scrutinize. Worry about. Fix.

And predictably, there’s a product, program, procedure, diet, workout, or promise waiting to help you do exactly that.

I’m not interested in telling women what we should or shouldn’t do with our bodies. I’m interested in something that happens BEFORE we make those choices:

Who taught us that this needed fixing in the first place?

That’s what I’m exploring in this week’s Substack essay, The Language of Body Shame: From meno-belly to turkey neck: How marketing creates “flaws”—and sells us the fix.

Read it at the link in my bio.

And tell me in the comments: What body-shaming name is part of your body story? by @agingbodyliberation

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10 days ago

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11 days ago

Here's something I wish more women knew:

“Meno-belly” isn't a medical term.

It's a MARKETING TERM that takes advantage of something many of us have been carrying for decades: shame about our bellies.

And when that shame gets wrapped in health-risk language, it becomes even harder to recognize when we're being sold fear rather than meaningful health information.

To be clear, visceral adipose tissue is real. Its relationship to cardiometabolic health deserves attention.

But your changing belly isn't a diagnosis. And caring about your health doesn't require making an enemy of your body.

This is exactly the nuance I'm exploring in this month's Looking Closer essay:

In Defense of the Midlife Belly.

Read it on Substack. Link in bio.

And if this resonates, please share it with another woman who deserves a little less fear and a lot more curiosity about her changing body. by @agingbodyliberation

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17 days ago

Come join me Thursday night! 💛

I’m so happy to be joining MEDA for a FREE virtual conversation about Unapologetic Aging this Thursday at 7 pm ET.

We’ll be talking about aging and body image, the pressures of diet, wellness, and anti-aging culture, and what it can look like to mend and nourish our relationship with our bodies in midlife and beyond.

And there will be time for your questions and conversation—which I’m especially looking forward to.

✨ Thursday at 7 pm ET
✨ Free + virtual

I’d love to see you there.

Registration link in bio.

And please share this with someone you think might want to join us. 💛 by @agingbodyliberation

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23 days ago

We have the word HANGRY in our vocabulary for a reason.

You know what it feels like to wait too long to eat and become irritable, distracted, edgy, or suddenly much less patient with everyone around you.

Our bodies have been showing us all along that nourishment affects our mood, our ability to think clearly, and simply our capacity to handle life.

And yet, I’m struck by this contradiction:

We’re talking more than ever about regulating our nervous systems, managing cortisol, reducing stress, and improving sleep.

At the same time, women—especially in midlife and beyond—are being encouraged to fast longer, snack less, suppress our appetites, watch our carbs, prevent weight gain, and eat less.

We’re trying to calm bodies we’re simultaneously being encouraged to underfeed.

My new essay explores what eating enough has to do with our nervous systems—and with cultivating a felt sense of safety in our bodies.

how diet culture f*cks with your nervous system:
what eating enough has to do with your felt sense of safety

It’s up now on Substack. Link in bio.

And I’d love to know: Have you ever thought about adequate nourishment as part of how you regulate your nervous system? by @agingbodyliberation

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25 days ago

Day 2 is all about diet culture and midlife and how harmful this particular flavor of diet culture can be.

Swipe to learn about what you can expect, who our panelists are, and when this panel will be taking place!

👉🏼 Head to disorderedeatingawarenessweek.com to learn more and register today!

#disorderedeatingawarenessweek #disorderedeatingawareness #midlifewellness #ditchdietculture #menopausewellness by @agingbodyliberation

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a month ago

I almost didn’t say anything in the moment.

When my new primary care provider told me she didn’t think I was likely to have sleep apnea and therefore did not agree that I needed a sleep study because of my “body habitus,” I was surprised—and dysregulated enough that I couldn’t have the conversation I wish I’d been able to have.

And it's bothering me.

Not because my experience as someone in a straight-sized body is equivalent to the weight stigma people in larger bodies routinely experience in healthcare. Nope, not at all. It isn’t.

But because it made me think about what happens when body size short-circuits our critical thinking and curiosity.

What do healthcare providers miss?

And then the question that became even more interesting to me:

What do we miss about ourselves when weight, dieting, exercise, and body surveillance take up so much of our attention?

That question took me somewhere I wasn’t expecting—including back to something a client told me years ago that I’ve never forgotten.

I’m writing about all of it in this week’s Substack:

What We Miss When We Center Weight: How Weight Stigma Short-Circuits Critical Thinking

You can read the full essay at the link in bio, or drop a ❤️ and I'll send you the link directly.

And I’d really love to know: What do you notice about yourself when preoccupation with controlling your weight gets quieter?

As always, I'm so glad you're here.
Much love,
Deb💕 by @agingbodyliberation

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a month ago

Can we talk about something a little more personal?

Last week, in the few quiet minutes before I was wheeled back for cataract surgery, I started to cry.

I wasn’t afraid.

I suddenly found myself wishing I had a partner beside me. Someone who was my person.

And that really surprised me.

Because at 67, I genuinely adore the life I’ve created as a single woman. In fact, some of the years when I’ve felt most vital, expansive, and most myself have been my single years.

So I started wondering:

How much of that longing was mine—and how much was handed to me?

Because so much of my work is about dismantling the cultural stories we’ve internalized about our bodies, aging, beauty, and worth.

Apparently, I’m still discovering some of my own water.

And I realized I don’t have to choose.

I can love my single life and sometimes feel lonely.

I can long for partnership without believing my life is incomplete without it.

And I can remain open to love while asking a very different question at 67:

Would this relationship allow me to be my full self?

I wrote much more personally about all of this on Substack this week.

I’d really love to have this conversation with you there.

To read the full essay, see the link in my bio.

As always, I’m so glad you’re here.

Much love,
Deb💕 by @agingbodyliberation

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a month ago