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Alix Goodwin Olavarria, ACC, NBHWC | Midlife Transition Coach

@agowellbeing

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Helping thoughtful women in midlife navigate the gap between a good life and a fulfilled one. Clarity starts here ⬇️

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What if confidence isn’t about getting rid of self-doubt, but learning to move forward anyway? Turns out, even the smartest, most accomplished women still have a LOT of unhelpful mental chatter running through their heads.

I love facilitating conversations about confidence, courage, and self-trust. If your women’s group, organization, or leadership community is planning a workshop or retreat, let’s talk about what might be meaningful for your group! 🤍 by @agowellbeing

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2 days ago

The older version of me has a few things she’d like to tell the younger version of me.

One of them is this:

You are never going to get the guarantee you’re waiting for.

For years, I thought confidence was what I was missing.

If I knew more, had more experience, felt more sure of myself...THEN I’d be ready to really put myself out there.

Looking back, I don’t think that’s what I was waiting for at all.

I wanted to know I would succeed.

That I’d be picked.

That taking the risk would be worth it.

That I wouldn’t fail.

Well. Good luck with that. 😂

Nobody gets to know those things ahead of time. And once I saw that, I started thinking about confidence very differently.

Maybe we don’t need to wait until we’re certain we can handle the outcome. Maybe we need to trust that we can handle ourselves, whatever the outcome turns out to be.

I went pretty deep into this in my latest LinkedIn newsletter because it’s something I understand very differently at 60 than I did at 30 or 40.

“What If Confidence Isn’t Supposed to Come First?”

See link in bio ⬆️ for the article.
On Facebook, see link in comments below. ⬇️

📷 cred: @8katecollins by @agowellbeing

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3 days ago

My dear Midlife Woman,

You don’t need to be fixed or changed.

You have done nothing wrong.

You simply need to come back to yourself.

I believe and know in my heart that you are already creative, whole and resourceful. And the sooner you accept that the brighter you will shine and the more fulfilling your life will be.

Share a 💗 below if you needed this reminder today. by @agowellbeing

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4 days ago

Confession: I can make a pros and cons list for just about anything.

And if one doesn’t work, apparently the answer is...another list. 🫣

I know I’m not alone here!

We thoughtful, analytical types can make overthinking look VERY productive. We’re researching! We’re gathering information! We’re being responsible!

Except sometimes we’ve been “figuring it out” for six months and haven’t actually moved an inch.

It’s called: Living Life at the Drawing Board!

I’ve had to recognize this in myself- that sometimes all my thinking isn’t about finding the right answer. It’s about trying to make sure I don’t choose the wrong one. And unfortunately, life refuses to offer that particular guarantee.

At some point, the question becomes less “Have I thought about this enough?” and more, “What is keeping me from trusting myself with whatever happens next?”

That’s often where the real work begins.

If you’ve been going around and around with the same decision and you’re tired of hearing your own arguments for both sides, this is something I work through with women privately all the time.

Message me. Sometimes getting out of your own head requires another person in the room. by @agowellbeing

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5 days ago

I have a question for my fellow quitters. 💅🏼

Have you ever stopped doing something and spent YEARS telling yourself you failed at it?

I have. by @agowellbeing

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10 days ago

I spent a lot of years thinking I was someone who didn’t follow through.

Acting? Left it.

The online business I started? Could have grown it much bigger. Didn’t.

Real estate? Tried that too. Wasn’t for me.

And for a long time, I put all of those things into the same mental file labeled THINGS I FAILED AT.

It took working with my own coach to realize I might have been using the wrong filing system altogether. Because whose definition of success was I using? Was it actually mine? Or was it a mash-up of what I learned growing up, what other people valued, what our culture rewards, and what I thought a “successful” person was supposed to look like?

That question changed a LOT for me.

I didn’t suddenly decide everything I’d ever done was a smashing success, but you can bet I became much freer to decide what success meant to me. And much freer to fail at things, too.

I think this is such an important conversation for women, especially as we move into stages of life where the old scorecards don’t necessarily make sense anymore. It’s also a conversation I love bringing into a room.

If you’re part of a women’s organization, professional group, community, retreat, or event that could use a real conversation around success, confidence, self-trust, or what comes next, I’m booking workshops and group conversations this fall.

Send me a message. I’d love to hear about your group. by @agowellbeing

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12 days ago

I see you, I encourage you and I got you!

#coachingsupports
#coachingcollaborates
#coachingmovesyouforward by @agowellbeing

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13 days ago

I want to tell you about something I see all the time in my coaching work.

A woman knows something needs to change.

She may not know exactly WHAT the answer is, but she knows this isn’t it anymore.

One client came to me burned out in her career and craving something more meaningful, with more room for the rest of her life, but because she couldn’t see exactly where she was going, she couldn’t get herself to move at all.
Sound familiar?

Here’s the part I think people sometimes misunderstand about coaching: I didn’t give her the answer. (That’s not my job.)

We started pulling apart what she wanted, what she valued, when she’d felt most like herself, and what the scared voice in her head was trying so hard to protect her from.

Eventually she could hear herself again. She still didn’t have the next five steps mapped out, but she could see the next one.

THAT is the work.

So if you’ve been sitting with the same decision for months and thinking, “Why can’t I just figure this out?” maybe you don’t need to figure it out alone.

I work privately with women in exactly this kind of season. Send me a message if you want to talk. No five-year plan required. 😉 by @agowellbeing

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16 days ago

How often does “I don’t know what I want” actually mean “I think I know what I want, but I’m scared to say it out loud”?

Because those are two VERY different problems.

Maybe saying it means disappointing someone, creating conflict.

Maybe it means changing something that looks perfectly good from the outside.

Maybe it means risking failure. Or just having no clue what will happen next.

So instead of NAMING what we want, we stay in “I don’t know.”

It buys us a little more time. We can keep researching and thinking and asking everyone else what they think without having to actually choose.

And sometimes we genuinely don’t know! But I think there are also plenty of times when we know more than we’re willing to admit to ourselves.

Which do you think is harder: figuring out what you want, or trusting yourself once you do know? by @agowellbeing

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19 days ago

Spent the weekend in San Diego at The Health & Wellbeing Coaching Conference, and I’m coming home feeling inspired.

One of my favorite parts of gatherings like this is connecting with people who genuinely care about helping others live healthier, more meaningful lives. It was such a pleasure to meet coaches from around the country, share ideas, learn from one another, and make some wonderful new friends along the way.

Although my work today focuses primarily on helping women navigate midlife and life’s transitions, I’m grateful for my roots in health coaching and the incredible NBHWC community. There’s so much crossover, and I always leave reminded that we’re all learning, growing, and helping shape this profession together.

Thank you to everyone who made the weekend so memorable. Until next time. 💙

@healthcoachingconference

Just some of the folks I found especially inspiring! 💫✨💕⬇️

@personify_health
@toddkashdan
@nudjhealth
@sonjaecklund
@erikakjackson by @agowellbeing

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20 days ago

You know that thing you keep telling yourself you’ll do when you feel more confident?

I’m starting to think confidence gets way too much credit. 😂

I moved to LA in my twenties without a job or knowing anyone. Years later, I started an online business with $5,000 and very little idea what I was doing. And don’t get me started on embarking into parenthood! 😅

I can assure you, I was NOT overflowing with confidence. I just wanted something enough to try.

That’s why the idea that courage comes before confidence has stuck with me for so many years.

We keep waiting for confidence to give us permission to go. But so often, confidence is what shows up BECAUSE we went.

I wrote much more personally about this in my latest newsletter over on LinkedIn, including the times when I wasn’t nearly as willing to leap and what I understand about those moments now.

If you’ve been waiting to feel ready, I wrote this one for you.

“What If Confidence Isn’t Supposed to Come First?”

See link in Comments below (FB) or in my bio above (IG). by @agowellbeing

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a month ago

Every time I think I know it all, life throws me another question and I become a beginner all over again.

I remind myself to:

Stay open

Keep learning

Keep growing

Slow down and take it in

Stay humble.

Because evolution is happening ALL the time. It’s one of only two certainties in this life.

And I choose discomfort in growth, in the not-knowing, in aliveness, over the alternative every time. by @agowellbeing

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a month ago