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ALIJAH GUNSAULUS

@alijahgunsaulus

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Owner/Instructor + Hype Woman @gritcycle
DV Survivor | Helping you find your voice
Big fan of not shutting up ✨
Somewhere between humor & healing ❤️‍🔥

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I wish some people understood the amount of violence it took to create this much peace, freedom, and joy. Getting out wasn’t easy, but choosing myself was worth everything.

And if you’re still there, I hope you know you can choose yourself too. There is a life on the other side. You deserve it 🤍 #survivor by @alijahgunsaulus

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2 months ago

Everyone has a story. Here’s mine — raw and unfiltered.

There was a time I didn’t recognize the woman staring back at me in the mirror. I had become a shell of a human — hollow, broken, and lost inside an abusive, toxic relationship that slowly drained the life out of me. It stripped me down to nothing.

I was belittled. Screamed at. Mocked. Torn down. Lied to so often I started to lie to myself. Gaslit until I questioned my own reality.
 Every move I made, every word I said — picked apart. Nothing was ever enough. I walked on eggshells so long my feet bled.

I became isolated, cut off from my friends and family. I stopped trusting myself. I questioned everything — my gut, my heart, my truth, even reality.
 My confidence vanished. My joy faded. I lost my voice. I lost my light. I lost me.

I lived in constant fear. I tried to leave, more than once. The manipulation, the false hope, the fear of the unknown — it kept me stuck. I was exhausted, confused, broken, scared, helpless… numb.

I knew I had a choice. Stay and completely lose myself or leave, and walk through fire. I was done being quiet. Done being broken. Done letting someone else dictate my worth.

Healing from abuse is a war. It’s not a pretty transformation — it’s a brutal resurrection. It’s messy, painful, and endless in some ways. But each day, I learn to love myself a little more. I learn to step out of survival mode and believe I am deserving of a good life.

I now understand what happened was never about me. The fear? Planted. My safety? Stolen. My self worth? Shattered. And my voice? Silenced. But one thing was left untouched — a heart that still loves with a fire that refuses to go out.  I’ve turned every ounce of my pain into purpose and power. I’m not just healing. I’m reclaiming.

My voice. My space. My fucking life. And now I’m here to empower. To uplift. To fight for others. To be the voice I once needed. And to remind you: you are allowed to take up space. To use your voice. May you stop shrinking yourself to make other people feel comfortable.

Be Fierce. Loud. Unapologetic. Fearless. We will not be silenced.

We are survivors and we are taking our power back.

#survivor by @alijahgunsaulus

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a year ago

One day I’ll shut up. Today is not that day.

Meet me @gritcycle . Where we empower, inspire and remind you that you are the main character. ❤️‍🔥⚡️ by @alijahgunsaulus

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8 months ago

Abuse thrives in silence…it’s time to talk #ididitfirstpodcast #narcissisticabuse #domesticviolence by @alijahgunsaulus

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I have hundreds of photos from a life that looked nothing like the one I was actually living.

Smiling. Celebrating. Traveling. Making memories.

And behind so many of those photos are memories I wish I could forget. That’s the thing about coercive control. It doesn’t always leave a visible mark. Sometimes it leaves you questioning your reality, monitoring someone’s moods, carefully choosing your words, and living in constant fear of what comes next.

People saw the pictures. They didn’t see what happened before them. Or what happened after.

A photograph captures a moment. It doesn’t tell you whether someone was safe in it.

So the next time someone tells you they survived abuse, remember this: You don’t have to see the abuse to believe the person who survived it.

We no longer suffer in silence. We heal loudly 🤍 by @alijahgunsaulus

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2 days ago

@gritcycle 🤍✨ by @alijahgunsaulus

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4 days ago

What was your ‘I didn’t think it was that bad until…’ moment?”

Share only what feels safe. Sometimes we don’t realize how much we survived until we look back 🖤
#dvawareness #dvsurvivor by @alijahgunsaulus

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5 days ago

And eventually, you realize:
You weren’t confused because you lacked intelligence. You were confused because the information you were receiving was deliberately inconsistent.

And yes, that was all part of their plan. #dvawareness #dvsurvivor #survivor #narcissisticabusesurvivor #narcissistic by @alijahgunsaulus

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6 days ago

PSA by @alijahgunsaulus

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9 days ago

I didn’t leave with a plan.

I left with barely any money. Barely any belongings. And absolutely no idea how I was going to start over. I just knew I couldn’t stay.

Because at some point, staying became scarier than leaving with nothing.

I wasn’t fearless. I was terrified. But I was more terrified of the life I would have if I stayed.

So I rebuilt.

My finances. My home. My independence. My confidence. My sense of safety. My trust in myself.

Every. Single. Inch.

I didn’t leave because I had everything I needed to start over. I left because staying was costing me everything I had left. And somehow, with almost nothing, I built a life I no longer needed to escape from.

So to the woman who thinks she can’t leave because she has nothing:

You don’t have to have it all figured out. You don’t have to be fearless. You don’t have to know how you’re going to rebuild.

You are allowed to start over scared. You are allowed to start over with nothing. Because the life you have now is not the only life you’re capable of living.

I am living proof that you can lose almost everything and still build a life beyond anything you thought possible.

And I hope one day you get to experience the kind of peace that makes you realize just how much you deserved it all along 🤍

#dvawareness #survivor by @alijahgunsaulus

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10 days ago

Stay loud. #survivor #dvawareness by @alijahgunsaulus

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11 days ago

I got you 🤍 by @alijahgunsaulus

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12 days ago