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@allisonicolelam

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I adore a strong vocabulary and a sensational landscape ~💚~

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🌀 Don’t ever let being lost take the fun out of not knowing where the hell you are 🌀 by @allisonicolelam

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a month ago

It hurt; every part. Grieving it all at once burned me to ashes that would take a while to feel the perplexing softness of flames convert to confetti made of petals. I am capable of honoring it now; changes that made my atoms dance and scatter. The weeping and weaving of loves lost in its intricate web of silky threads leaving my framework strand by strand. The dark, burned layers of structure and home assume the energetic touch points to transmute the true alchemy of loss. I look for the shadows of it all everywhere. When the veils thin, I attend the funeral every single time. Rest in peace... good grief ❤️‍🩹🌴🕸️🔥📝 @asimplerperspective by @allisonicolelam

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4 months ago

🌲🌸 As you start to walk on the way, the way appears ~ Rumi by @allisonicolelam

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5 months ago

May you get lost in the middle and find yourself there too ~ Where the ache becomes awe and the grief turns to grace. Where the wound reveals wonder and the broken becomes beauty. May the mess make something holy of you. ✨☀️🌟🌕✨🌟💫 by @allisonicolelam

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5 months ago

Good n u? by @allisonicolelam

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9 months ago

Autonomous Autumn by @allisonicolelam

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a year ago

I miss the intimate and known awareness of the dissolve of fear to have the insync love wrap me up in comfort. Wanting to feel safe like a home base slide. It’s like I keep running out of time in unknown territory and I am scared. My receptors aren’t firing off and I don’t know what to check off on the intake form. Too much has dissipated and disintegrated. The invasive impediments resulted in outcomes of choices that I deliberately did not choose; more so worst case scenario nightmares in the waking state. Spiritually aware but still agonized in releasing my grip to surrender. Surrender is not giving up. Surrender is not submission. It is consciously letting go. The perplexity of something feeling scarce when your ambitions were sentiments of bountifulness. Energetic tectonic plates have been constantly moving, crumbling, and creating mountains I have yet to scale. The scramble is a rapid fire yet a slow burn. Transformative fusion. Some will advocate to shift your perspective, but it’s difficult to shape-shift your feelings into something that doesn’t vibrate. We can be searching for an adequate solution but be paralyzed on the hunt. It’s the price of elevated consciousness and unforeseen shields where the absence of emotional intention and connection cannot break through the intricate, illusive web. Inevitability is the timeline you can’t escape. Mentalities and the bite-sized cast-call on to oneself to turn a cheek become minds-eye hub. Intrapersonal dialogue to a depth and caliper that I do believe comes with impeccable strength. A unique goddess getting to know another version, in a vision, where the dust has not settled. X by @allisonicolelam

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a year ago

Sometimes you change over time. Sometimes change finds you and demands an instant renewal contract for metamorphosis. Right now, I am unable to sit in the witness consciousness, as my inner landscape is not still. It’s loud, it’s disruptive, and it’s messy. My nervous system is not coherent, and I recognize the necessary repair needed. Working on solutions for what’s conducive to heal in all aspects. Looking at logistics with an irrational state of feeling and mind is an obstacle. Oscillating between ambitious anger and severe sadness while desperately wishing for my soul to be imbued with peace. Making the most out of life also means embracing the unfortunate parts. Feeling it with no shame. Resting in truth with integrity. Right now, I can’t see the light at the end of the tunnel — my viewpoint feels pitch black and pessimistic. Though, I’ve learned that I can boast more about my pain versus my pleasure. Home is where the heart is and my heart is cracked. But is this when the wisdom that is laid on us seeps into those crevices? The difficulty to work around the perpetual isolation of loss doesn’t have enough descriptors. I look at the sunsets and whisper my love to Theo. I blast rnb and Lil Wayne to circle myself back to the G I am. I fuel up on sweets + the sea. I spend a lot of time alone staring at the wall with the window open for nature’s notes. Right now, I am grieving, and I will try to conquer through cathartic calls, calls from self which are unknown IDs. by @allisonicolelam

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a year ago

Six years in Colorado today. My last hike with Theo was the day after his 9th birthday, hiking to the tippy top of a jagged mountain ridge, galloping through the wildflowers. TT passed away on 8/16. Our Colorado anniversary is 9/16. I got 5 years and 11 months on the dot with T roamin’ around these parts. My granny’s birthday is 5/11. I’m certain that my angels are together up there ⭐️🌟

Thank ya kindly, Colorado: You’ve been nothing short of a Rocky Mountain High ⛰️❣️ by @allisonicolelam

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a year ago

My sweet boy TT ❣️ I am so honored that we were chosen for each other for the life + time that we got to spend together. We found each other a few months after I turned 21. You were the saving grace I knew I always needed. Boone, Charlotte, Breck, Basalt + everything in between. Our separation anxiety was real and now, I miss you like crazy. Midda, you were truly an unmatched companion, and the gaping hole in my heart is killing me. Almost like watching the sad part of Lion King over and over again. Mourning you is heartbreaking, sensitive and vulnerable. I can just see your cute lil fluffers walking around and being so silly and so fun like you always were. You were my spiritual guardian. You made me a mom and you gave me reciprocated unconditional love. Your cuddles were the most comforting. Your energy was pure, real and genuine ~ a true beam of light. Life feels tragically incomplete without you. I’ll continue to roll down the window for you so you can stick your head out and get some fresh air. I’ll wait for you to come outside when you hear me swirl the ice around in my celery juice because you know we’re going to sit in the sun. I’ll walk with your collar buckled around my ankle so we can do our walks and epic hikes together. You loved nature just as much as me, and I could just stare at you all day down by the river, staring out and meditating with the wind. Your enthusiasm fueled my desire to keep going after adventures in life. Everything about you was my favorite. You were just so in tune witcha mama’s. I swear you were the most handsome boy I have ever met in my entire life. Those eyelashes and majestic coat that you flaunted oh so well. You were my most prized possession. I want to bite your ear and growl and play “where’d ya go,” under the covers just so I can feel the pound of kisses welcome our united faces. Everyone loved a T, and if you didn’t, you only thought he was an absolute maniac in the car LMAO. The nine years we got together, I will cherish for the rest of my life. Nothing will amount to our special bond. Gosh, you were just my soul mate, and our love will transcend. To my best buddiez, I wuuuuuubssss you, cwaziiii TEEEEOOOOOOOOO 🐾🪽✨ by @allisonicolelam

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a year ago

No mud, no lotus 🤎🪷🤎 by @allisonicolelam

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a year ago

Khop Khun Ka 🙏✨ by @allisonicolelam

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a year ago