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Ａｎｈａｙｌａ𓇢𓆸

@anhayla

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New music is here!
Everybody deserves love ♥️ Sharing a part of me to help the world feel a little more whole

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I grew up in church and I watched a lot of people preach one thing and then do another. Then I went to college and found the same thing. And then I went to work in corporate America, and I saw the same inconsistencies—people would act one way behind closed doors and another way when everyone was looking. I didn’t want to live my life like that. Honestly trying to be different characters and wearing all these masks was too much for me to handle. And believe me…I tried, but ultimately I wanted my life to feel real.

I went on this journey to find out about myself and who I really was. Not the version of myself that assimilated to be accepted, who was too afraid to speak up for herself because she was constantly worried about what people would think. I wanted to know who I was deep in my core. I was so tired of living the same life filled with pain and regret…thinking about what I had lost and not knowing how to break free from it. I wanted to figure out how to keep my peace in this life and to be free from my past mistakes. I wanted to forgive the people who had hurt me so I could move on and create space in my life for something new.

These words aren’t just for show…I’ve lived what I share on here. I’m not perfect and I don’t wish to be. I’m embracing this part of my life now where I finally feel free. I’m still learning, but I no longer feel trapped like I used to. Somehow, I’ve found my faith again, realizing I’m part of something greater than just myself.

My journey continues…♥️

Photo Credit: @illoquint

#selflovejourney #beyou #authenticity #findyourfreedom #embraceyourself #selflove #glowup #priorities by @anhayla

Seasons change…the things I did last season may not work today in my current season. There is a process of letting go that has to happen when you’re ready to change and “level up”….because if you hold on to the baggage you can’t make room for the new things, habits, and dreams in your life.

But I’ll be truthful, letting go isn’t always easy. For me it’s been a long process that has gone in stages, little by little. Everyone’s journey is different. When it comes to change, there’s uncertainty….and not knowing can be scary. When you let go of the old, most times you have to wait for the new. That waiting period is what usually draws people back to who they used to be, old habits, limiting beliefs, etc.

If you can be patient and wait…

If you can pushing through…

If you can keep speaking life into yourself…

The “new” does come…usually when you least expect it.

My journey continues…♥️

📸: @illoquint

#selflovejourney #lettinggo #embraceyourself #selfdiscovery #movingforward #mynewlife #imready #soulsearching by @anhayla

I always wanted MORE… I didn’t think I was materialistic, I just thought that having more would make me happy. That it must be something I’m missing or something I haven’t bought that was holding me back from this mysterious happiness I’d heard about. I was too busy looking up at the penthouse in the sky…wishing I was there instead of the first floor studio apartment I was in.

I didn’t know how to be happy…

Contentment has been a big part of my journey. I used to think being content was settling. Now contentment means simply having gratitude for everything I have at every stage of my life.

In Panama, I had the opportunity to help give food to families who might have needed extra help. While passing out food, I met this woman who was close to my age. She lived in a small studio apartment with her three kids and she had the biggest smile while speaking Spanish to me. I don’t know much of what she said…but I felt contentment in her eyes. She wasn’t looking up missing the moment, she was present with what was in front of her…she was happy.

Sometimes you have to work with what you have. It’s not about comparing yourself to the next person and saying “it could be worse”…it’s looking at everything you DO have and being grateful for this moment to be alive to experience it.

My journey continues…♥️

#selflovejourney #contentment #gratitudepractice #bepresent #dontmissout #personalgrowth #selfdiscovery #travelwithme by @anhayla

Some conversations would be a whole lot easier if we just said what we really meant. But sometimes even admitting the truth to ourselves takes a little courage. I’m in my truth season. Picked up my guitar and wrote a little song about it. ♥️ by @anhayla

I really thought when I came back on here, I’d have something big to tell you. A wedding, a baby, some huge accomplishment. Something IG worthy….something from the highlight reel.

And the thing is…..my life HAS changed. I’ve grown, I’ve learned, I’ve done things I’m really proud of. Just not in the ways I expected. I think a part of me felt like I needed something to show for all this time. Something people could clap for.

But I’ve been realizing how much of my life I’ve spent waiting for something to happen before I let myself fully enjoy it. And I don’t want to keep doing that.

I still have goals and things I want...But I also want to enjoy the life I’m living right now.

And maybe you need to hear this too. You don’t have to get married, have a baby, lose the weight, make more money, or finally get your life together before you give yourself permission to enjoy it. Your life is happening right now. And it counts.....even when there’s nothing to announce.

I’ve missed sharing my life with you. I’ve missed being connected….so here I am. No big announcement. Just me.

How have you really been?

My Journey Continues…♥️ by @anhayla

What if working on yourself is actually keeping you from living your life?

I’ve been thinking a lot about how easy it is to make self improvement a full time job. Always something to fix, something to change, something we think we need to become. And Meanwhile….life is still happening.

I’m in a season where I don’t want to just talk about living….I actually want to do it. Even when things aren’t perfect. Even when I don’t have it all figured out.

And part of that is showing up here again.

My journey continues…♥️ by @anhayla

This Saturday, Nov 15 ❤️ I said yes to something new, and it’s been beautiful to watch it all come together. I almost didn’t do it, but something in me said it’s time to stop waiting for perfect.

I’m so excited to share this night with you. Keep My Peace Sessions is happening this Saturday in Seattle at 7pm.

Tickets and info in my bio.
#keepmypeace #seattle by @anhayla

I used to overthink when it came to posting. Is it good enough? Will it go viral? Should I have said it a different way? And honestly I just got tired of doing that.

Because sometimes the things I never expect to go viral...do. And sometimes the things I put the most into only reach a few people. But that’s where I’m doing my work…..to erase that “only.” To focus more on the giving and the sharing, and less on the result.

I know that’s not always easy, especially in this world where everything is measured. But I have to focus on what I'm doing, have faith, and trust that these words will get to the right person.

At some point you have to let go of being so critical. I think that’s what keeps people from posting in the first place. This idea that every post has to be perfect or viral. It doesn’t.

It doesn’t have to be perfect. But for it to do what it needs to do, you have to click post. That’s what being present is. Ignoring the critical thoughts and all the gurus that say you have to do it like this or like that.

No…..post like you. Trust in what you’re doing. Believe the right people will find you.

My journey continues...❤️

#keepmypeace by @anhayla

“What are you so afraid of?” I had to face that question myself. If nothing could stop you or get in your way, what would you be doing in your life? If all the fear disappeared. If the doubt and worry didn't exist. Where would you find yourself?

What new things would you try? How much deeper would you love? How much more space and time would you give to God? How much more at peace would you be?

I have sat with myself for over 10,000 hours to find the answers to these types of questions. To try to figure out what was wrong. To try to heal everything from my past. To try to control everything. And while I’ve accomplished many things in that time, the greatest lesson I’ve learned is that I can’t fix it all.

That lesson has led me to put my trust fully in God. Because there are some things in this world that are too great for me to understand.

People ask me how I survived my car accident. I can try to explain it. But God.
They ask how my family has gone through so much and we are still here for each other. But God.

That phrase has changed for me. It means, “I can’t explain it but God can.”

“I can’t fix it but God can."

“I may not know how I’m going to get through this, but God has always provided a way.”

I’m learning that my job isn’t to figure everything out. It’s to keep showing up, to keep living, and to keep trusting that God will handle the rest.

My journey continues...❤️

#keepmypeace by @anhayla

I got so good at surviving, I forgot what living felt like. Survival used to be my goal...If I could just make it through the week. If I could just hold it together. If I could smile so no one asked too many questions. And I got good at it….too good. I could carry pain like it was nothing. I could push through tired, hurt, or empty and still show up.

Because surviving keeps you breathing, but it doesn’t let you live.

That’s what I’m learning now. Living is different. Thriving is different. And it feel so much better. I’m so much more at peace. There is so much more joy in my life and I love it. This is a different season where I'm pouring my energy, my faith and even my tears into my growth….all of it.

It looks like watering what actually matters and letting go of what doesn’t. It looks like not letting money rule over me, but letting it work for me instead. It looks like forgiving so I can move forward instead of backwards. It looks like refusing to let fear keep my vision on pause.

I don’t have every answer, but I know this…

This is a new season and I'm so ready to live it.

My journey continues… ❤️

#keepmypeace by @anhayla

It’s my birthday 🥹 And for the first time, I’m not spending my birthday planning who I should be by next year. I just want to celebrate who I already am….and everything it took to get here.

Swipe through to celebrate with me…..the real, personal stuff I’m genuinely proud of.

I used to only get excited when something “big” happened. And so many birthdays I would just skip over because I didn’t feel “accomplished” enough.

This birthday feels different. I stopped running this year. I walked. I took my time. I lived.

And if you’re reading this….maybe you take a second to think about your own wins too. The ones that helped you grow. The ones that are sometimes hard to see but still just as important.

My journey continues…♥️

📸: @illoquint

#selflovejourney #geminiseason #selfdiscovery #birthdaymonth #newmusic #courage #keepgoing #peaceofmind by @anhayla

So many of us just wanted to be picked…
By a parent.
By a partner.
By somebody.

And maybe when we weren’t, we thought something was wrong with us.

10 years of healing later, I have a great relationship with my dad. But back then? I didn’t. And that version of me was just trying to survive. I didn’t know the rules. I didn’t know how to protect my heart. I just knew I wanted to be chosen.

Healing taught me….I had to choose myself first. And it’s my job to give younger me grace for not knowing what she didn’t know. That’s where this new music comes from…going from perfection to simply enjoying the process and choosing myself.

My journey continues…♥️

#selflovejourney #trustyourself #knowyourworth #stayfocused #datingadvice #healingjourney #relationshipgoals #confidence #encouragement by @anhayla