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Antoinette Dale Henderson

@antoinettedalehenderson

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Executive Gravitas Coach: unlock your unique impact & influence 🔑 Keynote Speaker 💥 2x Author 🌍 Entrepreneur
antoinettedalehenderson.com

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3 days ago

Taking inspiration from the legendary Dolly Parton who once said:“If you allow yourself to get old, you will” and “I ain’t got time to get old.”. Here here. 💃💋🍾🍾🥂 by @antoinettedalehenderson

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2 months ago

If I could give you just one word to instantly increase your presence, especially when you’re feeling under pressure, it would be this…

SLOW.

Slow your speech.
Slow your movements.
Slow your breathing.

You can apply this almost anywhere from work meetings, presentations, interviews, difficult conversations to parenting (especially during the summer holidays!!!)

Slowing down can completely change how we experience ourselves and how others experience us.

It creates a micro space to actually land whatever message you’re trying to communicate. And the beauty is, every time we find ourselves speeding up, we just have to tap into our awareness to notice and consciously choose to slow down again. A never-ending practice!

Of course there are occasions when a pacey style is more appropriate - and it’s important to consciously vary your style between reflective and energised.

But what never works is rushing. Because in this ‘fight-or-flight’ state, you’ll come across as nervous, stressed, impatient or frustrated. All of which you’ll impart on your audience. You’ll also convey that what you’re saying, and the people you’re saying it to, are less important than what you’re rushing towards. Not the best way to win friends and influence people.

Save this post as your reminder to SLOW!

What situation this week would benefit from a little more SLOW?

#Gravitas #LeadingWithGravitas by @antoinettedalehenderson

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2 months ago

Happy ‘champagne birthday’ to this utter legend. 20 on the 20th. We love you Mia! 🩷❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙💜💝 by @antoinettedalehenderson

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2 months ago

What you focus on becomes what others focus on.

A few years ago I was running a gravitas session online for 65 senior leaders. Let’s just say Microsoft Teams was not being anyone’s friend that day… How many people can relate to that?!

Behind the scenes, we were having a conversation about the tech issues and the senior sponsor said something important which has stayed with me ever since:

💬 “Well look, everyone seems to be having a good time when they’re coming back, we’re having a great discussion, let’s focus on that not focus on the tech failing. Let’s not make the overriding message about the tech.”

Yes, the tech wasn’t working in our favour, but the session was still working. Had we repeatedly apologised and drawn attention to what was going wrong, that would probably have become everyone’s lasting impression.

This applies in so many situations.

If something goes wrong in a presentation, interview or important conversation, the wisest thing to do is acknowledge it briefly, reset and move on. Be careful not to give one imperfect moment so much attention that it becomes the thing everyone remembers.

This isn’t about pretending problems don’t exist but instead being deliberate about where you direct people’s attention.

Where might you be giving more attention to the problem such that it eclipses the progress?

Something to practice with this week: When something doesn’t go to plan, acknowledge it, but take a reset and deliberately bring the focus back to what matters.

#LeadingWithGravitas #Gravitas by @antoinettedalehenderson

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2 months ago

Spécial family times in a little corner of France 🇫🇷 which has captured my heart 💛 by @antoinettedalehenderson

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2 months ago

Happy Summer all…. ❤️ by @antoinettedalehenderson

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2 months ago

A lesson from a random man in a car park on how not to get lost in the drama:

I was attempting to get into a car park recently that had become completely and utterly gridlocked. Absolute carnage!

It was boiling hot, people were hooting their horns, getting out their cars and shouting at one another. Unhelpfully, there were no traffic marshals in sight.

Rapidly emerging was a vortex of drama, a whirlpool of adrenalin, and everyone was getting sucked into it!🌪️

Then, right at the point where unrest was threatening to turn into chaos, the scene shifted. A man got out of his car. Nothing special about his build, certainly no uniform, but he had a stature which conveyed capability and calm. In seconds, he’d walked to the middle of the junction, and started directing the traffic.

Within a few minutes, the entire car park fell into line and order was restored. Everyone exhaled and we carried on.

He didn’t have an official hi-vis jacket, no overbearing presence or overpowering voice. He had presence.

How does this relate to the workplace?

Right now, I’m noticing that relentless restructuring, tumultuous transformations and other AI-fueled changes, however well-intentioned, are often triggered a similar ‘car park carnage’ in organsiations.

Many teams are fragmented and stressed. Many leaders are ill-equipped, lacking the experience and resource to deliver in highly charged, yet limited circumstances.

Those who can lead through change successfully aren’t the ones feeding the drama and panic. They are the ones who can step out of their “car” and project a grounded, unflappable presence.

I think we can all channel a bit of car park man’s presence! What do you think?

#LeadingWithGravitas #Gravitas by @antoinettedalehenderson

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2 months ago

💬“Does that make sense?”

It’s a question many of us instinctively ask after communicating something important.

The issue is, most people will automatically answer, “Yes” to this question.

Not necessarily because they’ve understood what you’ve said, but because they don’t want to be the person who appears not to understand. Put more simply, they don’t want to look stupid. Or because they’re still processing what they’ve just heard.

“Understanding” isn’t necessarily black or white. People may understand some aspects immediately, while other parts may need time to make sense of.

I find the same can happen when we ask:

💬”Do you have any questions?” Again, a binary yes / no question.

Silence is often taken as a sign of understanding, which can be risky!

I’ve found leaders are much more effective in ensuring what they’ve communicated has landed by asking open reflective questions like:

💬”How is that landing with you?”
💬”What questions are coming up for you?”

And the cherry on the top is being comfortable with any silence that may follow. Not assuming that because nobody has spoken within a few seconds that everyone has understood, and so moving swiftly onwards…

Often, people need, and appreciate, the space and time to process.

Depending on personality type, experience and levels of introversion/extroversion, there will be some people who are quick to answer and happy to ask clarifying questions. And there are others who need more time to reflect and would find asking a question too exposing.

When you’re leading change, how do you check that people have genuinely understood, rather than simply nodded along?

#LeadingWithGravitas #Gravitas by @antoinettedalehenderson

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3 months ago

Who is responsible for making sure communication is understood: the person speaking or the person listening?

I was talking to a coachee recently about George Bernard Shaw’s quote:

“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”

We often assume that once we’ve said something, our job is done. If people didn’t understand, they should have asked or spoken up.

This can be naive at best. However adept we are at communicating, people will always be listening from their own frame of reference, and filtering out what they don’t understand or don’t want to hear.

In my experience, particularly now, with the vast volume of changes that are being relentlessly communicated, the greater responsibility sits with the person communicating to check for understanding.

The pace of work can easily instill a habit of:

👉🏽 Communicate a message

👉🏽 Ask “Any questions?”

👉🏽 Assume because no-one’s ‘put their hand up’ it’s landed

👉🏽 Move quickly on to the next thing.

Something I say a lot in my programmes is:

Judge the quality of your communication, not by how clearly you THINK you explained it, but by what people actually understood, and did as a result. And bear in mind that an important message needs to be communicated at least seven times through seven different mediums for it to effect change.

When it comes to leadership communication, impact is the real litmus test 🔬

I’d love to hear your perspective and experiences of this!

#LeadingWithGravitas #Gravitas by @antoinettedalehenderson

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3 months ago

Only 47% of employees say their manager understands their career goals and motivations, according to Gallup. I wonder how many managers could (honestly) answer these 3 questions about every human being in their team...

✨What motivates them?

✨Why did they choose to do this role?

✨Where do they hope their career will take them, and why?

It’s easy to assume we know our people because we work alongside them every day. We know what they’re working on, when they’re on annual leave and whether they’re doing what’s in their job description.

But do we really know what makes them tick?

The best leaders I’ve worked with are endlessly curious about the people they lead. They don’t see these as questions to ask during onboarding or an annual appraisal and then ticked off the list. These things change and evolve. So they make the effort to continuously find out about the personalities behind the roles.

When people feel genuinely seen, heard and valued, not just managed, it makes a huge difference to wellbeing and discretionary effort.

I appreciate this can be tricky to do with all the demands placed on managers and leaders, particularly when operating in a hybrid or global environment, but it pays dividends.

Employees who feel “seen” and supported by their manager are 3.5 times more likely to be engaged at work, and 65% less likely to look for a new job, according to Gartner.

I have no doubt we’ve all had experiences with managers throughout our careers who have been on different sides of this spectrum, whether they’re only concerned about their own career advancement or simply don’t think team development is a priority.

With engagement levels at an all time low, this is more important than ever.

How well do we really know the people in our team behind the job titles?

What do you do to be one of those leaders or managers your people love to work with?

#LeadingWithGravitas #Gravitas by @antoinettedalehenderson

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3 months ago

And the actual graduation itself with the gown and everything…. 💃💋🌺💝 by @antoinettedalehenderson

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3 months ago