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Avin

@avinorwhaat

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کمی ساده‌تر شاید.
در تصویر، اندوه انگار هست؛ اما در واقعیت، نیست.
Someday, I’ll travel the world; but for now I’m passionately a musician: @avinahmadi

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چند وقتیه که مدام به «خودشناسی» فکر می‌کنم و به نظرم جالب‌ترین مفهومی هست که به عنوان یک انسان تجربه می‌کنیم. حداقل برای من که خیلی شگفت انگیزه.
چون تو، «تو» هستی؛ تو، «تو» زاده شدی و تا بوده، تو، خودت بودی.
تو کسی هستی که تمام زندگی‌ت رو با خودت می‌گذرونی اما این لزوماً به این معنا نیست که تو خودت و تمام ابعاد وجودت رو کاملاً می‌شناسی. چطور ممکنه؟
Goose bumps.
و جالب تر از اون سِیر و مسیری هست که تو طی می‌کنی برای اینکه خودت رو بشناسی.از ابزارهایی که براش وجود داره تا تکاپوهایی که در این مسیر می‌کنی. گاهاً حتی فرایندنش خیلی شبیه به شناختن یک فرد غریبه می‌مونه.

حس می‌کنم اونقدری که باید هرروزِ زندگیم رو بهش نمی‌پرداختم. دوست دارم از این به بعد به محض بیدار شدن در یک روز تازه، اولین اولویتم این باشه که خودم رو کمی بیشتر بشناسم. بیشتر و بیشتر.

چون در نهایت به نظرم لذت یا حتی گاهاً دردی که از درک شناخت خودت پیدا می‌کنی واقعاً وصف ناپذیره؛ حتی چیزهای کوچیک!
انگار که یک دفعه چشم‌هات رو روشن می‌کنه و علامت سوال‌هایی که سالها بود گوشه‌ی ذهنت خاک می‌خوردن رو ناپدید می‌کنه.

در حال حاضر، شاید کمی بیش از حد درباره‌ش هیجان زده‌م چون چیزهایی رو به تازگی در خودم کشف کردم که بعد از ۲۲ سال زندگی با خودم، تازه متوجهشون شدم با اینکه اصلاً تازه نبودن. فهمیدم که همیشه در من وجود داشتن و من فقط نمی‌دونستم.

عااااااااااشششششقققشششششششششششششششم.
به نظرم واقعاً زندگی فقط یک مسیر خیلی طولانیه برای شناختن خودت که احتمالاً هیچ وقت تمومی نداره. یک پازل خیلی خیلی بزرگ و جذاب که حیفه اگه حلش نکنی!⁩ by @avinorwhaat

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4 days ago

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No, October, I am in fact not ready.
My life has recently been moving faster than I can reflect on it; or perhaps I’ve become slower at reflecting and digesting things. Either way, I’m mentally still stuck in August.

There is no doubt about how beautiful things are. Even this feeling of being completely “exhausted” is beautiful in its own way, but I wish I could just pause for a moment and then continue from where I stopped.

And the short trip to Berlin, although fun, felt like being choked on an emotional level.

Tomorrow, Linz will enter my life again. I could talk shit forever rn because the luteal phase is in the picture too.
Never mind.
من همیشه مسافرم حتی اگه در سفر نباشم. (با عشق) by @avinorwhaat

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12 days ago

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I wish I could go back to being this size; at least every once in a while. I miss home.
ای کاش گاهی می‌شد برگشت و سوار فیل شد. taken in Shiraz, Iran by @avinorwhaat

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a month ago

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3 random selfies to say :
Chekhov advised, “If you want to work on your art, work on your life.”
That’s another way of saying that in order to have self-expression, we must first have a self to express.

دو قدم مانده که آگوست به یغما برود. by @avinorwhaat

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2 months ago

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So grateful that Vienna offers such high-quality summer options, cause ain’t no way I could afford a vacation rn. ✨✨ by @avinorwhaat

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2 months ago

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Bunch of mirror selfies from the longest time spent in Linz. Idk. It’s okay-ish. Can we just please skip to July now? taken in Linz, Austria by @avinorwhaat

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4 months ago

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Take me back to Morocco, take me back to Iran or to New York; or even to Spain.
Take me back to a place where I feel something again. To a place where I shed tears out of the intensity of my feelings. To a place that has a soul, a soul that matches mine. by @avinorwhaat

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5 months ago

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Oh the little NewYork, Brooklyn that you are, dear Amsterdam! (only better) ❤️ haven’t been this much in my element since August 2024.
Thank you for all the reminders. taken in Amsterdam, Netherlands by @avinorwhaat

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8 months ago

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How sad that there are certain situations in life in which you’d feel guilty for smiling; as if it’s a crime.
You become fully aware of yourself while enjoying something and are immediately reminded of how desperate you really are. How dare you even enjoy it? How dare you laugh? Reality hits you like a bus.
I wish I were another.

I got 22 on Saturday. Tbh it does feel like I aged hundreds of years during the last 20 days, but in reality I turned only 22.
I have so much to say about life, but there’s no time to be sentimental no more.

Slides:
1. This will be a treat.
2. Salty; give me more water.
3. I low key enjoy seeing Tehran written with a ط and not a ت
4. A freshly 22yo self wondering a lot about everything. Kine hopeless, kinda in love, definitely heart broken.
5. Our life these days.
6 + 7. Thought to have a cold birthday swim to suffer the pain out and wash the anger off. But the lake was fully frozen. I translated this as a sign to myself that : you shall remain angry, Avin. You shall fight back with pure rage inside of you. You shall not let it out yet. Just not yet. I’m sorry. by @avinorwhaat

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8 months ago

@parminraoufi ❤️‍🩹 by @avinorwhaat

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9 months ago

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سه تصویری که هرگز دوست ندارم فراموش‌شون کنم. دوست دارم تا ابد بهشون خیره بشم تا دوباره از اول مو به تنم سیخ بشه. اعتراض به مثابه پرفورمنس. یک اثر هنری کامل. حتی گاهی ناخواسته و ندونسته. خالصانه نمادین. در دل خیابان.

👉🏻 For and to my foreigner friends:
The people of my country are sometimes so effortlessly symbolic. So effortlessly unfolding pure art; They’re paying it off as well tho, seriously and relentlessly. Nothing about the consequences of their actions comes easy for them. But just watch these three pictures.

slide 1: Vida Movahed; A woman who tied her white headscarf to a stick and stood tall, head held high. (2017)

slide 2: Anonymous, fearless women dancing around the fire, burning their headscarves to reclaim their freedom. They prove that courage spreads. (2022)

slide 3: Rice in the air; people living in poverty, yet rejecting false promises with a firm no; cast their rice into the air despite hunger! (2026)

May these pictures always remain in our Collective memory. by @avinorwhaat

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9 months ago

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It feels like ages ago and it also feels like it was only yesterday. I think that’s what love’s sweet spot feels like. You‘re my sweet spot; every day! (I wish I could say except for when you snore at night, but you don’t even snore baby🥹❤️)
Happy your third birthday together! I Love you so much.

Fun fact: yes, that’s a cat nail clipper in the first slide. Reza‘s incredibly talented at turning affection into a nail-trimming mission for Khameh. by @avinorwhaat

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10 months ago