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Berly | Trauma-Informed Coach

@berlycanek

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💜 You left. So why do you keep going back?
🦋 Understand + break the trauma bond
✨ FREE Breaking Trauma Bond Webinar 👇

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💜 Healing Within You was born from lived experience.

Hi sweet friend… I didn’t study trauma because it sounded interesting. I studied it because I lived it.
Trauma is not only what happened, it’s what stayed in your nervous system 🌿

The tension in your body. The racing thoughts. The disconnection.

I’ve been there. I know how heavy it feels.

What changed my life wasn’t “thinking positive.” It was regulation. Breath by breath ✨
Learning to work with my body, not against it.

This space was created to support your healing 💜

If this resonates with your heart, you’re gently invited to connect with me through the link in my bio ✨

#healingwithinyou #traumainformedcoach #somatichealing #healingjourney by @berlycanek

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6 months ago

Jane Doe, we stand with you. 💜

Your courage matters. Your voice matters. And you should never have had to be this strong.

To every woman carrying anger, grief, or memories of the times her own “NO” wasn’t heard: we stand with you too.

May this be bigger than one woman’s story. May we keep believing, supporting, and protecting survivors.

To the incredible warrior at the center of the Cornell case: you are not standing alone. We stand with you.

And to anyone trying to break free from an abusive relationship or trauma bond, my FREE Breaking the Trauma Bond Webinar is linked in my bio.

#JaneDoe #Cornell #BelieveSurvivors #TraumaBond #WomenSupportingWomen by @berlycanek

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12 days ago

They ARE mean on purpose. PERIOD. 👏🏼

They know exactly which buttons to push, how to mess with your head, and then have the AUDACITY to act shocked when you react. 🙄

They create jealousy, twist conversations, cross your boundaries, and somehow YOU end up questioning yourself.

And here’s what makes it even crazier:

🧠 Gaslighting makes you question your reality.

💜 Love bombing can make you feel deeply connected before trust has even been built.

🔁 Intermittent reinforcement (the highs, the lows, the affection, the cruelty) can strengthen a trauma bond and make walking away feel almost impossible.

And THAT’S why recognizing the red flags isn’t always enough to leave.

I know. I’ve been there. And ZERO judgment here.

If you’re still wondering why you miss someone who hurt you, join my FREE women-only webinar, BREAKING THE TRAUMA BOND, October 15. 💜

🔗 Link in bio to save your spot!

You got this. I got this. WE GOT THIS. Love you! 💜

#NarcissisticAbuse #TraumaBond #HealingWithinYou by @berlycanek

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💜✨ #chooseyourself #narcsurvivor #dvawareness #selflove #womensupportingwomen by @berlycanek

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a day ago

🚨 BEFORE YOU REACT, TEXT BACK, OR SPIRAL… TRY THIS! 💜

You can literally do this ANYTIME, ANYWHERE. In your car, in bed, at work, or even when you’re about to cry in the bathroom. We’ve all been there! 🫠

Here’s why this simple 30-second practice can help:

🧠 1. NAME IT TO TAME IT.
Putting your emotions into words can help reduce their intensity. Instead of fighting the feeling, try saying, “I’m anxious,” “I’m angry,” or “I’m overwhelmed.”

💜 2. YOUR BODY NEEDS SAFETY, NOT PRESSURE.
After narcissistic abuse, your nervous system may stay on high alert. Acknowledging what you’re feeling without judging yourself can help you begin to settle.

🌬️ 3. YOUR BREATH IS A TOOL.
Slow, gentle breathing can support your body’s calming response. You don’t have to force yourself to feel better. Just give yourself a moment.

And amiguita, remember: Regulation doesn’t mean you stop feeling. It means you’re learning how to move through your emotions without letting them take over.

Save this little meditation for the days when everything feels like TOO MUCH. 🫶🏼

💌 And if you’re struggling to break a trauma bond, join my FREE webinar BREAKING THE TRAUMA BOND. Link in bio!

Love you! 💜

#NervousSystemRegulation #TraumaBondRecovery #HealingWithinYou by @berlycanek

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THE PLOT TWIST. 💀

I went to therapy thinking I was the crazy one…

Turns out, I wasn’t crazy. I was being abused. 🚩

🧠 The gaslighting was REAL.
💜 The healing is REAL too.

And the best part? I don’t need the narcissist to believe me anymore. I BELIEVE ME. 💅

Anyone else go to therapy and discover THEY weren’t the problem? 💜

#NarcissisticAbuse #Gaslighting #HealingWithinYou by @berlycanek

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🧠 You weren’t crazy. You were surviving.

The anxiety. The hypervigilance. The constant feeling that something bad was about to happen.

That’s what prolonged emotional abuse can do to your nervous system.

💜 But here’s the beautiful part: Your brain can change. Your nervous system can learn safety again. And YOU can feel like yourself again.

You don’t owe your abuser gratitude, forgiveness, or another second of your life.

You deserve peace. Period. ✌️

And yes, healing is possible, love. I promise there’s life after abuse. 💜

#narcissisticabusesurvivor #narcissisticabuse #domesticviolence by @berlycanek

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4 days ago

NO. YOU DO NOT NEED TO FORGIVE THE ABUSER TO HEAL. PERIOD. 🙄✋

You know that whole “Forgive them for your own peace” nonsense?

Yeah, ABSOLUTELY NOT. Keep that toxic positivity away from me.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll keep saying it. FORGIVENESS IS NOT IN MY PLANS.

💔 I was with someone who could leave me lying on the floor, take a shower, get dressed, and go to work like NOTHING had happened.

Like he hadn’t just destroyed another piece of me.

And people expect me to forgive THAT? Are you kidding me?!

✨ You know what brings me peace?

💜 Knowing I’m NOTHING like that sick individual.

💜 Knowing I survived what I once thought would kill me.

💜 Knowing I can sleep at night without hurting another human being.

💜 Knowing that today I get to use my story to help other women recognize abuse, break trauma bonds, and find their way back to themselves.

THAT’S MY PEACE. NOT FORGIVENESS.

And if you’re still angry, still grieving, still trying to make sense of what happened, listen to me, amiguita:

You don’t owe the abuser forgiveness. You owe yourself a chance to LIVE AGAIN. 🥹💜

And that’s exactly why I created my FREE webinar, Breaking the Trauma Bond, exclusively for women who are ready to understand why leaving hurts so much and how to start choosing themselves.

💌 Comment BOND and I’ll send you the link!

And tell me, girl… WHY ARE SURVIVORS EXPECTED TO FORGIVE WHEN ABUSERS AREN’T EVEN EXPECTED TO TAKE ACCOUNTABILITY? 👀

Love you. Mean it. 💜

#NarcissisticAbuse #DomesticViolenceSurvivor #TraumaBondHealing by @berlycanek

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2 days ago

The first sign of disrespect? GIRL, PAY ATTENTION. 🚩

🚩 The first time he punches a wall.

🚩 The first time he drives recklessly to scare you.

🚩 The first time he threatens you.

🚩 The first time he makes you afraid of his reaction.

Somewhere along the way, women were taught that if we stayed longer, loved harder, forgave more, served more, and tried harder… he would change.

NO. NO. NO. 👏🏼

Love doesn’t fix abuse. And loving someone harder won’t make them stop hurting you.

💔 But here’s what nobody tells you: Leaving isn’t always easy. Trauma bonds can make walking away from someone who’s hurting you feel almost impossible.

And THAT is exactly why we need to talk about them.

💜 Join my FREE women-only webinar, Breaking the Trauma Bond, October 15. We’ll talk about WHY it’s so hard to leave, why we go back, and how to start choosing ourselves again.

✨ Click the link in my bio to save your spot!

Because, amiguita, we ALL need to master THE ART OF LEAVING. 💜

What’s one red flag you wish you hadn’t ignored? 👇🏼 by @berlycanek

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3 days ago

You don’t have to lose yourself to be loved. 💜

Dr. Ramani was the first person I heard explain narcissism. Her words helped me understand the abuse and begin finding my way out. Whenever I see her, I tell her: “Thanks to you, I’m here. I’m alive.”

I asked her to share a message for the women I work with. Amiguita, this is for you. 🥹

Three things her work reminds us:

🫶 Their abuse is not your fault.
🌿 Changing them is not your responsibility.
🌕 Healing means taking yourself back, your voice, your boundaries, your whole self.

Thank you, Dr. Ramani, for helping us come back to ourselves.

✨ Struggling to let go? Join my FREE women-only webinar, Breaking the Trauma Bond. Click the link in my bio or DM me BOND.

What part of yourself are you ready to take back?

You got this. I got this. We got this. 💜 by @berlycanek

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3 days ago

NEVER AGAIN. 💜

And when I say NEVER AGAIN, I mean it. I ended up running away from my own country to save my life. That’s how far the abuse went.

I used to believe that if I loved harder, gave more, forgave more, maybe things would change.

Girl… NO. 🙄

I won’t pretend narcissistic abuse didn’t destroy me for a while. It did.

I cried. I questioned everything. I lost myself trying to love someone who kept hurting me.

But here’s the thing…

✨ I can love someone and still walk away.
✨ I can forgive without giving access.
✨ I can miss someone and still choose myself.
✨ And I will NEVER confuse manipulation with love again.

I didn’t become stronger because of the abuse. I became stronger because I refused to let it define the rest of my life.

And NO, the abuser doesn’t get credit for the woman I’ve become. I did the work. I rebuilt myself. I chose ME.

And love, if you’re still struggling to let go, I know how hard it is. That’s why I’m inviting you to my FREE women-only webinar, Breaking the Trauma Bond, on October 15. We’ll talk about why leaving, letting go, and staying away can feel so incredibly hard, and how to start choosing yourself again.

💜 Click the link in my bio to save your spot!

You got this. I got this. WE got this.

What’s ONE thing surviving narcissistic abuse taught you? 👇 by @berlycanek

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4 days ago

💜 NO, I’m not a man hater. I’m just a trauma bond survivor who doesn’t want you to go through the same hell I did.

Girl, if you’re anything like me, you probably thought loving him harder would change him. That if you showed him what REAL love looked like, he’d finally learn how to love you back.

NO, BABE. 💀

💔 Some hearts aren’t broken. They’re ROTTEN.

💸 As long as he’s getting something from you, whether it’s money, status, kids, attention, or control, he’ll keep you around. But the moment you have nothing left to give? He’s gone.

🚩 Onto the next supply. Then the next. And the next. No shame, just a whole new set of lies.

🧠 Meanwhile, you’re left questioning your own reality because he’s gaslit you so much you don’t even trust yourself anymore.

⚠️ BUT LISTEN, LOVE. YOUR BODY KNOWS. Your gut knows. And when that little voice inside you starts screaming that something isn’t right, please don’t ignore it. Make a plan, get support, and get yourself somewhere safe.

Love you. Now choose YOU. 💜 by @berlycanek

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