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Betsy B. Murphy

@betsybmurphy

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Autobiography of an Orgasm, “Refreshingly sincere." ~UK Sunday Times
Bodies of Water documentary🩵
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6 months ago

Charlie lived so big in his 27 years. He died this week from a choice to do a drug to ease the pain of trauma that he just couldn’t break free from. He wanted to live beyond the wounds of the past but trauma doesn’t like to be touched or felt or seen so he hid it from most. Healing happens in community and these last few months Charlie felt so alone even though he had loved ones close by. His birthday was July 17th and his birthday card and gift are still with me. He missed several planned dates to celebrate but kept telling me he’d be okay.

For those of us who witnessed his pain, we knew that when he made it to beyond the pain, he was going to have an incredible story to tell that would help others. He was a fantastic writer and a charming storyteller. The last several months he’d been sending me clips from the movie “Beautiful Boy” about how addiction and unexpressed pain can tear apart families. What is needed is to show up for the tough, uncomfortable conversations and witness the pain, and then get back to love.

One legacy he is leaving us is the gift of his two daughters Sunny and Ray, and the gift of Harley who he always adored and appreciated and called “the best mother.” They were soulmates. Even when he couldn’t show up for his own kids, he was still telling me how lucky his girls were to have Harley. He is right—and I know with love and support, Harley and the girls will continue to thrive and soar. They truly lit up when he was around.

We all have Charlie stories and I’ll keep sharing them because when there is too much pain it has to be balanced out with joy and Charlie gave us plenty of that in 27 years. He is my beautiful boy.

(Last photo is his birth announcement 27 years ago. He loved being surrounded by family.) by @betsybmurphy

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4 years ago

“I loved being eight years old.”

This was something Charlie (in spirit) said to me recently during a session with a Medium. A medium connects to the spirits of loved ones and others.

I’ve had the experience of being a Medium for others so when several people offered me sessions with Mediums after Charlie died, I received. I already feel a connection to him in spirit but was curious to see what would come through.

One was in the US. One was in Scotland. One was in England. None of them knew me or Charlie or each other so it was interesting to see them getting the same information from him. One even called him “cheeky Charlie”—a name that fits.

He was sorry to leave but he’s happy and free now. He’s not in pain.

It’s still you and me, mom. We’re a team.

He also talks about his brothers Sam and Willie and how he loved skiing with them.

He says his sister Lucy makes us all proud.

He shared details about abuse that happened to him when he was younger that were hard to hear again but confirmed what I knew to be true. He also confirmed information about his death and transition.

As I write about him, he wants me to remember and share the fun Charlie too.

Thank you for always believing in me and supporting me, he said.

He comes to his girls Sunny and Ray often. He wants their mother to be happy and appreciates her standing by him during dark times.

And then he said something that made me smile. He said that he loved being 8 (when I took him to India) and he’s happy I’m taking his ashes there. He wants to be spread “here, there, and everywhere.”

There is more that he shared that is too personal but everything felt just like him.

I appreciate so many of you who have offered healing sessions and prayers. I definitely felt a shift last week. The grief is still here but so is more grace.

Sometimes I wonder why I’m sharing these details with you. Maybe to help me remember later. Maybe to not lock away these moments in a journal. Maybe you’ll find something in the sharing too. by @betsybmurphy

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4 years ago

One of the reasons, I created the platform BEAUTIFUL INFINITY BOOKS was to publish books and authors whose stories needed to be out in the world now. It was also a way to have the authors to receive 100% of the sales instead of a publisher taking a big cut. I was super happy to recently release GUARDED by Bill Hampton, written with Bob Gates. I've known Bill since I was a teenager and then later made the documentary SOMETHING TO CHEER ABOUT that told the story of his extraordinary high school basketball team Crispus Attucks (Indianapolis) that was the first all-black team to win a high school state championship (1955) even as racism existed on and off the court.

“Hampton is one of those rarest of all basketball talents. He is vicious on defense and a devastating shooter from the baseline.” ~ Sports Editor Bob Collins, The Indianapolis Star

GUARDED is more than the story of a basketball player—it is the story of a man who spent his life learning how to move forward while being guarded. As a guard on the legendary 1955 Crispus Attucks team, Bill Hampton learned to see the whole court, protect the ball, withstand pressure, create opportunities for others, and keep moving even when someone stood in his way. Those same skills had been required of him long before he stepped onto a basketball court.

Growing up Black in Jim Crow-era America meant navigating a world designed to restrict where he could go and what he could become, while poverty and hardship taught him to guard parts of himself as well. And while history would remember the stars who scored the most points, Bill's story reminds us that history is also made by those who make the pass, create the opening, endure the pressure, and quietly help move everyone forward. GUARDED is a story of basketball, racism, resilience, and the unseen people whose contributions made history possible—and whose stories deserve to be remembered.

GUARDED is available on Barnes & Noble and Amazon.

*also have no idea why this is marked AI content, it was written the old fashioned way!! by @betsybmurphy

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6 days ago

Someone in every generation of women in my family has been harmed by assault (except my granddaughters) so I have a lot to say about the Cornell 7 and SMU (where I went to college) and the list is too long to mention the other places where a girl or woman is not safe. What I want to tell you is that don’t wait for an apology or justice to come to heal yourself. Don’t wait for an apology or justice to come to truly feel good in your body again.

I spent most of my life avoiding telling the truth of what happened to me because I was ashamed. I spent half my life faking orgasms because I was too afraid to admit that I had been harmed. I spent decades not feeling fully alive. I rarely felt safe. It wasn’t until my marriage failed that I started to look at when was the last time I felt safe in my body and it was the age of five. By age six, I was touched without consent. That was the first time but it wasn’t the last time. It took over 40 years for it to be the last time. It took 40 years for me to wonder if it was possible for me to feel *good* in my body again. And it took over 40 years for it me to understand why I lost my voice in the moments I needed to use it the most.

In my 40s, I spent five years researching orgasm as a way to heal my sensual body. (That research later became the book, Autobiography of an Orgasm.) Assault had damaged and changed the biology of my body—-and then I did the work to change it back.

So that is what I’m asking of you. Yes, we can speak up and be angry but don’t let that anger suppress the healing that exists within your body.

Justice comes with your healing. Justice comes with your joy. Justice comes with sharing your story (even with one person). Justice comes when you turn your truth into a healing that helps others. I see so many of us doing that. Keep going.

Photo by Lisa Hilbert (from 20 years ago before I healed) by @betsybmurphy

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20 days ago

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a month ago

@realjamiewatkins joins me to talk about her new film @thecyclesecrets. As someone who grew up with keeping my period a secret because in my family we didn’t talk about those things, I love that Jamie’s documentary flips that story into the true secrets we are meant to know about our bodies and our bleed through these sacred monthly cycles.

The Cycle Secrets is raising finishing funds for the completion and premiere of the documentary. Thanks to Jamie for producing this important film.

You can support the documentary and be a part of the release through link in Comments or send a DM to @thecyclesecrets. by @betsybmurphy

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a month ago

Two months before Charlie Griswold died, he told his mother, “When I die, you will tell my story.”

Betsy Murphy kept that promise.

Her documentary, BODIES OF WATER, has been named the winner of the Spring 2026 Roy W. Dean Grant. The film follows Betsy to India as she carries Charlie’s ashes to the sacred Ganges River and discovers connections between grief, healing, water, and the lives we must protect.

Betsy will receive $3,500 and donated filmmaking services to help bring this deeply personal story to audiences.

Congratulations, Betsy! We’re honored to help you tell Charlie’s story.

Read more at the link in our bio.

#RoyWDeanGrant #BodiesOfWaterFilm #DocumentaryFilm #IndependentFilmmaker #FromTheHeartProductions by @betsybmurphy

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2 months ago

Bill Hampton shares his story of growing up during segregation, playing with Oscar Robertson, and being the starting guard for the first all-Black team in the nation to win a state championship in ANY sport. #BlackHistory #basketballlegacy #crispusattuckshighschool #historymakers #91yearsinthemaking by @betsybmurphy

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2 months ago

Twenty-one months ago @suzieguillette received a breast cancer diagnosis that absolutely did not become a prognosis for her life. A month later, I sent her my *heart boob* shirt. The shirt was meant to be a love letter to our breasts no matter what was going on.

(Photo #1 is of Suzie on the first day of chemo in our shirt.)

Suzie was good at living a life of miracles and I've witnessed her doing that for the past 21 months. She never stopped living even as she was dancing with cancer. She continued to connect with loved ones. She continued to take long walks. She continued to work. (She was an intuitive astrologer and a fantastic writer. She completed her memoir from her hospital bed.)

Suzie continued to send out a newsletter on Substack around every new moon where she shared astrology and stories in a way that always reminded us to trust our higher selves.The last one she sent was on July 20th and it has a hysterical story about taking a trapeze class. During the class when the instructor told her to "Let go" midflight and reach for the instructor, Suzie shouted, "No!" She was listening to herself.

This spring Suzie had a moment of ringing the bell at the cancer center when her treatment was complete. No more breast cancer. She was getting better but she also knew something wasn't right. She wasn't fully recovering.

Eventually more cancer was discovered and this summer every time a doctor told her a prognosis, her response was, "No," she wasn't going with the timeline they were giving her. She was doing what she asked us to do, to trust our higher self.

Last Sunday, Suzie finally let go and danced into the next realm. Days before, she sent me several versions of the song, Everything in Its Right Place by Radiohead and a video reminding me to dance.

Yesterday I went to a dance class at @deepdancela and in the middle of the class, an amazing version of Everything in Its Right Place came on. I danced with Suzie, I danced with my higher self, I danced with the part of me that needed to trust that even though Suzie finally let go, I could still reach for her through the cosmos. (photo 2 is Suzie in motion)

If you have a Suzie story, please share by @betsybmurphy

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2 months ago

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2 months ago

The only thing worse than finding out your son’s body was found dead in a hotel room is finding out that he was dead at least 2 days. And during those 2 days I was looking for him but the two people that knew where he was kept lying to me. Don’t tell me to move on. Please tell me how to accept and heal this when they continue to gaslight me. I don’t even know how to tell the whole story but I do notice everyone who has stayed silent.

Today marks four years since Charlie was found dead. This morning I started to post this first photo of Charlie playing piano at age eleven. Charlie played by ear and the reason I didn’t share was because I thought to myself, I wish I had a video of him playing. Later this afternoon my son Willie sent a video that had been forwarded to him by a friend who discovered it on his phone. It’s a video of Charlie playing piano at age 24. (Second image)

Charlie took guitar lessons but never piano. He was influenced by songs more than musicians and one of the songs I heard him play often was Once by Glen Hansard (who died today.) Charlie was 12 when the movie came out and I went with all my kids to see it. Then he came home and figured out how to play the song Once on piano.

I spent the past 3 days with his daughters Sunny and Rayna. (Sunny photo 3, Ray photo 4, Sunny photo 5). Charlie loved the beach and so do his girls. His love of water and the release of his ashes into the Ganges River has influenced the documentary BODIES OF WATER. Thanks to everyone who is making this story possible.

I’ll never write a better ending to Charlie’s death but together we are telling a story that will remind you of the music in all hearts, especially ones that may be hurting. Can you hear it? by @betsybmurphy

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3 months ago