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Lindsey Wheeler

@bottle_of_tears

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Curated Gifts of Hope || My deep desire is that you know God sees you. He loves you. And there is purpose in your pain! (Psalm 56:8) #bottleoftears

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“There is a unique ache in protecting someone’s dignity while your own heart is breaking.” 🩶 by @bottle_of_tears

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4 months ago

She did it!!!!! Eliana Wheeler graduated!!!! 😭😭😭 by @bottle_of_tears

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5 months ago

Motherhood for me has been more grief than joy.
More survival than celebration.

Not because my daughter isn’t a gift — she is. She is deeply loved.

But our road has been excruciating for 18 years.

It’s living on eggshells. Relationships with cops. Feeling misunderstood in public. Trying to protect E by not sharing too much while also trying not to drown in isolation and loneliness.

It’s watching your child desperately want connection, then panic and pull away from it.
It’s watching someone you love live in torment inside their own mind while you stand there unable to fix it.

Some days I lay in bed begging Jesus to come back because the weight of it all feels unbearable.

And yet…there are still tiny glimmers of joy. Tiny moments of grace. And I’ve learned to hold onto those with everything I have.

Mother’s Day is complicated for me. It hurts.

But I would choose her again and again and again.

I won’t give up on her.
I love her fiercely.

And one of the deepest prayers I carry is that God would let me outlive her by just 10 minutes…because the thought of her being alone in this world without someone who understands her heart feels unbearable to me.

Happy Mother’s Day to the moms who are aching today and every day. You are not alone. by @bottle_of_tears

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5 months ago

I don’t really know how to do this, but somehow I’ve been doing it for 18 years.

Most days, I don’t feel equipped to be Eliana’s mom. Most days, I feel like I can’t keep going.

What you all see—and it’s not fake—is that I choose joy every single day, even while quietly battling depression and fear. Those two things have just gone hand in hand in our journey.

At night, when Eliana finally falls asleep, everything in me lets down. I can breathe. And that’s usually when the tears come…or my 11 p.m. spiral (as Chris calls it).

Eliana graduates in one month, and if I’m honest, I’m terrified.

She so deeply wants a “typical” life—college, a dorm, marriage, kids. She talks about it every day, and because we have those same conversations over and over, my heart keeps breaking in quiet ways.

I don’t share much of the hard—the tears, the hospital visits, the fear of the unknown. But my body and mind carry it all.

Loving her unconditionally doesn’t undo the damage to her brain. I wish it did.

But we keep going.

We ask God daily for grace and mercy, and we cling to the smallest glimmers of hope—the micro-joys.

Today, I feel like I’m drowning—emotionally, physically, financially, spiritually.

And still, I know God sees us. I know He loves our daughter more than we ever could.

Friends…we need your prayers. For miracles on every front.

The Wheelers love you all so much—more than you know. by @bottle_of_tears

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6 months ago

A day I don’t want to forget, so it has a forever place here. 💙 And a prayer for each of us as we face tomorrow (that we spoke over each other in community group tonight)…”Lord Jesus, hold their grief and their gratitude together in your love. Bring your peace.” by @bottle_of_tears

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10 months ago

Chris’s dream has come true!! I figured out how to combine our instastories so they don’t disappear. 🤣 NEW things are coming for Bottle of Tears and I’m so excited! by @bottle_of_tears

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a year ago

Thankful for this promise today and every day. by @bottle_of_tears

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a year ago

This needed a forever home on this feed. I’ve watched it no less than 100 times. And I’ve thought over and over… the way Chris loves and cherishes and cheers on and parents Eliana is just a glimmer of God’s love for us. And it’s stunning!! We are so loved friends. 💗 by @bottle_of_tears

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a year ago

Love never gives up.
Love cares more for others than for self.
Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have.
Love doesn’t strut,
Doesn’t have a swelled head,
Doesn’t force itself on others,
Isn’t always “me first,”
Doesn’t fly off the handle,
Doesn’t keep score of the sins of others,
Doesn’t revel when others grovel,
Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,
Puts up with anything,
Trusts God always,
Always looks for the best,
Never looks back,
But keeps going to the end. 💙

...this is Chris as a dad (and husband)! There is NO ONE in my life that looks like Jesus more than him. And he is like this every single minute of every single day. He is full of patience at 3:00 in the morning driving Eliana all over the city of Fayetteville. He wakes up at all hours of the night nearly every single night with joy. I am not joking. He is full of love when everything around him is chaotic. He is Eliana’s rock and safe place and she will never know how rare that is. He is fun and funny and lives to make people laugh. He is deep and wise and prioritizes his relationship with Jesus and his mental health. If you can’t tell, I love everything about him and he’s so easy to celebrate. Happy Father’s Day to this one in a million!! by @bottle_of_tears

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a year ago

💜 by @bottle_of_tears

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a year ago

I know life doesn’t always go the way we hope (wow do I know), and sometimes it’s hard to make sense of it all. But I want to remind you of this tonight: “And if not, He is still good.” God’s goodness doesn’t depend on our circumstances—it’s who He is. Even when the answers we long for don’t come, He’s still working, still loving, still faithful. I hope you can find comfort in that, even in the waiting. You’re not alone, and He’s got you, no matter what. by @bottle_of_tears

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2 years ago

Will never stop fighting for our girl. Never! But, y’all Chris and I need rest and provision in a thousand ways. Would you keep praying for strength and perseverance for us!! Love you all so much. (And P.S. I do still run this business in the margins and am so grateful for those of you that still order). 💛 by @bottle_of_tears

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2 years ago