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Brooklyn Bird

@brooklynmbird

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Podcast account: @walkbesideme.pod
“Walk Beside Me” podcast 🎧👇🏼

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Today marks one year of Walk Beside Me!

And in honor of this special birthday, we’re kicking off Season 2, getting back into the swing of things after my very extended holiday break.

While I didn’t miss social media too much, I did miss compiling everything that God is teaching me through parenthood.

So we are back, now with episodes every other week instead of weekly.

Needless to say, life with two little girls is beyond busy and full. But I wouldn’t have it any other way.

While the quantity of content might be taking a slight dip, I can promise the quality of upcoming episodes will be much improved thanks to my wonderful, wise, and witty husband, who will be joining me as often as possible from here on out.

I’m hoping that his input will not only allow for richer, more entertaining podcasting, but will also help other dads feel included in these important conversations.

If you wanna catch just a small taste of what’s to come, check out episode 42. Link in my bio!

#parenting #christianparenting #ldsparenting #respectfulparenting by @brooklynmbird

This post has been on my heart and mind for a long time now.

When I quit my job as an attorney three months ago, someone told me that they hoped I would be okay without the mental/intellectual stimulation.

With the best of intentions, they expressed concern that I might get bored.

I understand the concern because this was something I myself was worried about before having kids.

But while stay-at-home parenting has its mundane moments, I honestly have not felt any lack of intellectual stimulation.

I wanted to gather all of the reasons why. And this post was born.

Could not be more grateful for this season of my life. It is helping me grow in ways I never could otherwise.

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#intentionalparenting #parenting #ldsparenting #consciousparenting #christianparenting #christcenteredparenting #respectfulparenting #sahm #momlife #stayathomemom #stayathomeparent by @brooklynmbird

Kids are often accused of “manipulating” their parents (by crying, asking for attention, etc.)…

But most of the time, parents are the ones trying to manipulate their kids.

It doesn’t have to be that way. The parent-child relationship is not a zero-sum game where one party has to be in control of the other.

What is true for all relationships is true for the parent-child relationship: We are most successful when we show respect and collaborate. We are least successful when we control, compete, and coerce.

Personally, I’ve realized that I’m in a manipulative mindset any time I find myself asking “how can I get her to _____?”

Asking this question assumes that if I use just the right words, timing, tone of voice, etc., then I am guaranteed a certain outcome from my child.

In other words, the question assumes that my “parenting skills” can destroy her agency.

This is not how I want to relate to my child (or any human being).

I want to influence others for good WHILE respecting their agency.

I never want my kids to do anything just because I “got them to.”

So when I hope that my child will make a good choice, these are the questions I ask myself instead:

How can I set a better example of what I want to see?

How can I give her space to make her own decision?

How can we make our home a place where this behavior is a natural part of who we are?

How can I invite in a way that leaves space for agency?

If someone wanted me to do X, how would I want them to invite me?

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My goal is not to “get” my kids to do anything. It is to create an environment that makes it easy to choose respect, love, teamwork, and compassion.

But it is still their choice. And I’m 100% okay with that. Agency is God’s plan for us, and I trust Him.

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#respectfulparenting #godlyparenting #gracebasedparenting #christcenteredparenting #christianparenting #consciousparenting #lds #ldsparenting #parenting #intentionalparenting by @brooklynmbird

Or maybe I’m finally finding myself. For the very first time.

“Whosoever will lose his life for my sake shall find it.” Matthew 16:25.

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#christianparenting #ldsparenting #christcenteredparenting #faithbasedparenting #consciousparenting #gentleparenting #respectfulparenting #parenting #intentionalparenting by @brooklynmbird

If you’re torn, here’s a clue:

“Control” is actually totally impossible.

It’s 100% contrary to God’s plan.

And any time you might think you have control, it’s just an illusion.

At first letting go of control looks scary or even foolish.

But when you think about how YOU would feel if anyone tried to control you, it starts to make sense.

We are hardwired to resist any attempt to subvert our agency. We fought desperately for agency in the premortal life. We rejected a plan of control and perfection and instead chose a plan of freedom and redemption.

It only makes sense that our little ones are just like us—valiant defenders of their agency.

SO if we don’t want to control our kids, but we absolutely do want to have a positive influence on them, what can we do?

The answer is simple. Develop a loving relationship, and lead an awesomely magnetic life that our kids will likely choose to follow.

That is what Jesus did, and He’s definitely convinced me.

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#positiveparenting #parenting #ldsparenting #consciousparenting #christianparenting #christcenteredparenting #gentleparenting #gracebasedparenting #godlyparenting #respectfulparenting #lds by @brooklynmbird

The next time your kid is “being bad,” do yourself a favor…

Ask yourself this question: “What does he/she need?”

And then go through this list:

Water?
Sunshine?
Food?
Fresh air?
Movement?
Connection?
Understanding?
Autonomy?
A sense of purpose?

This list isn’t exhaustive. These are some very basic needs—certain kids will have more complex ones.

But focusing on the unmet needs underneath the behavior is WAY more helpful and honestly more FUN than making “bad behavior” a character/morality issue.

AND the cool thing is you will start to see all humans this way, getting curious about what they need rather than condemning or judging them.

And when you start treating yourself this way, it is the greatest gift.

This doesn’t mean adults aren’t responsible for their behavior. As we get older, we become more and more responsible for meeting our own needs.

So if we’re behaving “badly,” it’s likely because we’ve failed to meet one of our needs.

This is good news, because it means that the path to showing up how we want to isn’t wondering what’s wrong with us or accusing ourselves of being bad.

It’s simply meeting a need. And when I can’t find a way to give myself the strength I need, I’ve found that God—my ultimate parent—is perfect at meeting my needs.

In my mind, this is what GRACE and “giving yourself grace” is all about.

More on GRACE in episode 26 of Walk Beside Me 🎙️ link in bio!

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#gentleparenting #intentionalparenting #respectfulparenting #christianparenting #consciousparenting #ldsparenting #parenting #positiveparenting #lds by @brooklynmbird

What would happen if you always assumed your kids have good intentions?

What would happen if you let go of feeling rushed whenever there wasn’t actual urgency?

Maybe your brow would soften, your jaw would unclench, your shoulders would relax.

Maybe you would laugh more. Maybe each day would feel more like a blessing, rather than a battle to control.

Maybe you would start speaking in lighter, calmer tones. Not only to your kids but also to yourself.

Maybe 🙃 it’s worth a shot 🤞🏼

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#consciousparenting #intentionalparenting #christianparenting #ldsparenting #respectfulparenting #faithbasedparenting #lds #gracebasedparenting #gentleparenting #parenting by @brooklynmbird

If you haven’t listened to Scottie’s birth story yet, hit the link in my bio cuz you’re in for a treat 🎂

Here’s a special sneak peek from my husband’s contribution 👀

He definitely made this my most entertaining episode yet…which is probably why it’s already in the top 5 most downloaded episodes 🤣

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#sahm #parentingpodcast #parenting #birthstory by @brooklynmbird

As a mom to two little girls—2 years old and 2 weeks old—this has been on my mind a lot.

When I’m nursing my newborn and my toddler wants attention, it’s tempting to direct her toward puzzles, books, and toys.

But one time, right when the toddler wanted me, the newborn had an explosive spit up 😵 And instead of “Go play with your puzzles,” I blurted out, “Can you go get me a towel?”

My toddler jumped into action. She ran across the house, grabbed a towel, and ran back as fast as she could.

And it hit me: she isn’t asking to be entertained. She’s asking to be involved.

She doesn’t really care what the activity is, as long as we’re working together on the same team.

I think I knew this truth already, but it’s been special to relearn it as a new mom of two.

Our kids are amazing. Sometimes they just need us to give them an outlet to show it off 💁🏼‍♀️

I think this is why Jesus said to Simon and Andrew, “follow me.” Not “keep playing in your fishing boats and stay out of my way.”

I’m striving every day to lead like He does.

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#consciousparenting #ldsparenting #christianparenting #christcenteredparenting #gentleparenting #respectfulparenting #intentionalparenting #faithbasedparenting #gracebasedparenting by @brooklynmbird

Do the small things that make each day a little brighter.

Don’t wait for a special occasion.

The greatest predictor of your kids’ happiness is your own.

“Men are that they might have joy.” 2 Nephi 2:25.

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#ldsparenting #lds #christcenteredparenting #consciousparenting #christianparenting #gentleparenting #parenting #respectfulparenting #intentionalparenting by @brooklynmbird

I’m a mom to a toddler and a newborn.

A lot of people think kids at these ages are “irrational.”

But what if we assumed that children are perfectly rational, based on everything they know and all the skills they’ve developed so far?

Suddenly my toddler’s “tantrums” are less scary. They are understandable. They are figure-out-able.

When she cries over getting the wrong cup, it’s not because she’s entitled. It’s not because she’s spoiled. It’s not because she’s manipulative or trying to get attention or “being difficult.”

It’s simply because it hurts a little when your expectations go unmet, and she’s learning how to navigate that pain.

Her whole life she’s been at the mercy of others, and now she is finally gaining some autonomy. Her life finally has some predictability.

So when things don’t go the way she wants, she’s thrown back to the helplessness she wants to outgrow.

She’s still figuring out how to process and express her emotions about all of this. Hence the “tantrums.”

The cool thing is, when we understand where our kids are coming from—when we see ourselves in them—our calm and patience grows. And that energy is contagious.

When the adult is comfortable and fearless in the face of a child’s “big emotions,” the child learns to relax through those emotions.

The adult’s calm and safety provides the child with enough space to see the bigger picture, and eventually think and act more “rationally.”

Understand your child’s perspective, and you won’t need a perfect parenting script or tantrum deescalation strategy.

You will find yourself treating your child the way you would want to be treated if you were in their shoes. And that is all they need.

“Therefore all things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them.” Matthew 7:12.

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#christianparenting #ldsparenting #consciousparenting #gentleparenting #christcenteredparenting #respectfulparenting #parenting #intentionalparenting #faithbasedparenting #gracebasedparenting by @brooklynmbird

I’m not in a rush to “bounce back.”

I’m in a season of gratitude for what this body has done to get an angel earthbound.

If Jesus was okay with His scars maybe I can be too.

Isaiah 49:16 — “Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands; thy walls are continually before me.”

#christianparenting #ldsparenting #christcenteredparenting #faithbasedparenting #lds #gracebasedparenting by @brooklynmbird