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Charlotte Louise | Grief • Living • Outdoors

@charllr

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Navigating life after loss and speaking about it openly.
🪽Dad 11.02.25
🌿Nature is my therapy
🎗️”In Memory 214” @spinaldestination
📍 Nottinghamshire

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I still don’t know how…

I miss you terribly. I wish I could have you back, even just for a day. My days aren’t the same without you, and my world feels different. Strange. Quiet.

I wish my October was filled with you, but I know it can’t be. I’m struggling without you, but I know you’d want me to carry on. I’m your daughter, so if anyone can, I can.

October is a hard month for all of us, so many special birthdays and memories we share, but I know you’re there, you’re always there, and always will be.

Love you Dad

🤍🪽

#dad #fatheranddaughter #parentloss #october #grief by @charllr

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8 days ago

I DID IT! 💛 214 WAINWRIGHTS! ⛰️

Yesterday, as per the plan a year ago, I summitted my last Wainwright on my wonderful Dad’s birthday with close friends and family.

In February 2025, we all lost the most amazing man to Prostate Cancer, 18 months after being diagnosed. In October 2025, on his birthday 4th October, I set myself a challenge to climb all 214 Wainwrights in one year in honour of him, and to raise funds and awareness for @prostatecanceruk .

And yesterday… on his birthday, I DID JUST THAT!

Before the cancer took over, spread to his bones and paralysed him from the waist down, Dad climbed Latrigg and we talked about him completing many more, but unfortunately, he didn’t do any more after Latrigg due to becoming to poorly and bed bound. So the mission became clear, I’ll do it for him.

I’ve been out in all weathers and dedicated almost every weekend to completing this, and I couldn’t be prouder. I have managed to raise enough money to hit my target of £1000 and more.

I wanted to say a huge thank you, to every single person who has supported me. Whether it be family, friends, colleagues or people I don’t even know. You’ve all been incredible and I wouldn’t be able to do it without all of your support.

I’d also like to thank @theyorkshirewanderer for giving me his time and effort yesterday and capturing such a special day for us all. You were incredible and I can’t wait to see the rest of the photos.

Dad, I hope you were with me and everyone else every step of the way yesterday, and I hope I’m making you proud.

Happy Birthday Mush.

You’re loved and missed every single day.

If you’d like to read more of our story, the link is here and if you’d like to donate, the link is still live in my bio.

Again, thank you to everyone, your support means the absolute world.

💛⛰️

#prostatecancer #uk #thelakedistrict #parentloss #familyandfriends by @charllr

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11 days ago

Grief often makes us focus on everything we didn’t get.

The years we thought we’d have.
The conversations we thought were still coming.
The moments we thought we’d share.

But sometimes, I try to look at it another way.

I may not have got the rest of my life with him…
but he spent the rest of his life with me.

And that is something I will always be grateful for. It doesn’t make it any easier, but somehow this gives me a little bit of comfort knowing I was there until the very last moment.

🕊️🪽🤍

#griefandloss #dadanddaughter #griefjourney #parentloss #grateful by @charllr

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6 months ago

Grief has a funny way of making you question everything and there’s so many things I replay in my head. Go over. Think about. Check. And then check again.

But I can’t ever get these out of my head. I wonder about them everyday. I talk about them to people but they probably think I’m bonkers. They’re there literally every day, and I know I will never have the answers to them.

I know how much I love my dad, and there’s nothing I wouldn’t give to have him here with me, so I live in hope that the answers I give myself to the things I question are the answers he would give me if he could.

I hope you know Dad, I gave it everything. I did everything I could for you, and we all sat with you and was with you as you wanted when you left and took your last breath. I hope you’re out of pain now and you’re having a laugh, taking the piss and having a red wine somewhere. I really hope you can see what we’re doing, and I really hope we’re making you proud, and more than anything, I hope you replayed the best parts of your life in your last 7 minutes, and we were in them somewhere.

I hope you can re call our last conversation… and when we told you it was ok to leave and that we’d be okay, of course we meant it because you’d be out of pain and no longer suffering, but it’s the biggest lie we’ve ever told. If you are watching down on us, and you can see your grandsons, they are doing amazing. You’ll know they’re cheeky, funny and growing up far too fast. They speak about you all the time and they miss their Gan Gan.

Until we meet again, I’ll keep asking myself these questions over and over again.

I love you Dad.

🤍🪽

#dadanddaughter #parentloss #heartbreak #grief #griefandloss by @charllr

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2 days ago

I’ll always love you.

You’ll always be my best friend.

🤍🪽

#dadanddaughter #grievingdaughter #parentloss #loveyouforever #grief by @charllr

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4 days ago

Something a little different tonight… 🧖‍♀️

As much as I love hiking and being outdoors, I also do love a Spa from time to time and I’m very grateful to my mum, cousin @staceymrichards and my auntie @collette_richards for my little treat to say well done for completing the Wainwrights.

@edenspanotts is always amazing and even better with all the new rooms and the outdoor pods.

We had a blast, and just what my poor knees ordered.

Will definately be back ✨

#spa #family #spaday #relax #edenhall taken in Eden Hall Spa by @charllr

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5 days ago

TODAY IS WORLD MENTAL HEALTH DAY 💚

And I’d like to talk about it with a sprinkle of grief added in.

Nobody really prepares you for what losing someone does to your head. The overthinking you do. The exhaustion you feel. The constant anxiety that fills your body. The days you don’t feel like yourself. The days you want to be exactly where they are.

For me, losing Dad isn’t just about learning to live without him. It’s learning to live in a world that suddenly feels completely different. It’s 20 months tomorrow and I’m still learning, I think I always will.

I question who I am now, on many occasions, what my life is supposed to look like and how to move forward when the future I once imagined no longer looks the same and he wont see any of it. People know you’ve lost someone and they know it hurts, but there’s a part of grief that I don’t think people always see.

I can function. I can work. I make plans. I go out. I challenge myself. I climb mountains. I hike. I even laugh sometimes, but that doesn’t mean grief isn’t affecting me.

My head has been in an extremely bad place over the last few years, and sometimes I’ve not really known what to do or how to deal with the feelings I’ve had, but I’m realising, slowly, that healing isn’t about me getting back to the person I was before, it’s about figuring out who I am now, while carrying something I never wanted to carry or thought I’d be carrying at 35.

Don’t get me wrong, some days I’m happy, but some days, wow, I miss Dad so much it catches me completely off guard. I know feeling both of these things can be true at the same time, but honestly, some days it’s too much.

So today, on World Mental Health Day, I want to remind you that you don’t have to pretend you’re okay just because life keeps moving. Talk to someone. Ask for help. Take a step back when you need to, and if you’re supporting someone through grief, remember that the people who look like they’re coping might still be having a really difficult time.

You don’t have to have everything figured out. You just have to be honest about where you are.

#worldmentalhealthday #griefandmentalhealth #parentloss #griefjourney #mentalhealth by @charllr

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6 days ago

Since losing my Dad I’ve felt so many different feelings, and it’s not just inner feelings. My body has felt it, my mind has felt it, my personality has felt it. I’ve realised that every single one of us grieves differently and there is no right or wrong way to do it.

One day I can be or feel like I’m absolutely fine, and within an hour I’m absolutely not.

If you’re grieving, I’d love to know the feelings you’re having and how it’s making you feel.

#thisisgrief #parentloss #grieving #feelings #griefjourney by @charllr

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8 days ago

ITS THE FINAL WEEKEND!! 💛⛰️

I’ll be completing the 214th Wainwright on Sunday with friends and family up Latrigg.

I set myself a challenge to complete all 214 Lake District Wainwrights in one year, to honour my Dad who sadly passed away from Prostate Cancer on 11th February 2025 and anyone else including my Grandad who has lost their life or been diagnosed with the same disease.

I started last year on my Dads birthday and I will finish my challenge on his birthday this year, on Sunday 4th October.

I’ve so many mixed emotions right now, and I’m not sure how I feel, but I know he’d be extremely proud of what I’ve achieved, but probs cursing me for being out in shit weather haha!

The past 7 months has been hard going due to my relationship breaking down and moving back to my parents house in Nottinghamshire, but I’ve made it happen. I’ve travelled to the Lake District every weekend, early hours of the morning, spent weeks at a time and worked in hotels and cottages, and committed every weekend to making this happen.

It hasn’t been easy, but what an incredible journey I’ve been on.

This weekend, on Saturday, I’ll be making my penultimate walk to complete all but one Wainwright, and then summiting Latrigg on Sunday with friends and family.

Prostate Cancer is the most common cancer that affects men every year. It can be checked with a PSA test which you can have via a blood test. If you’ve been affected by Prostate Cancer yourself, this is also for you. If you’ve lost your life to Prostate Cancer, this is also for you. If you’ve looked after someone with Prostate Cancer, this is also for you. If you’ve fought it and are now living a cancer free life, this is also for you.

There’s still time to donate to a wonderful cause and I hope you’ll all join me to raise a glass to my dad, my grandad and everyone else who’s lost their life to Prostate Cancer on Sunday.
If anyone can spare their time to share, like or donate, I would really appreciate it. You can read my full story and donate by clicking the link in my bio.

Thanks to everyone who has already supported and continues to support me. I couldn’t do it without you all.

X by @charllr

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15 days ago

Are you grieving?

Maybe you’ve lost someone you loved, a relationship, a pet, a future….

Grief comes in all different shapes and sizes. One minute you’re okay, the next you’re completely shattered. And that’s okay.

There is no right or wrong way to grieve, but it can sometimes leave us wondering, leaving us with questions and whether we are supposed to do this, or supposed to feel that.

The truth is, anyone going through grief, whatever and however that may be, it’s different for each and every one of us. My grief won’t be the same as yours, and yours won’t be the same as the next persons… but I do know that there are many people out there, with a story, who may feel alone in their grief, isolated, sad, just like I did and still do.

So if this resonates with you… if this is somewhere you can feel safe, you can feel listened to and would like to tell your grief story, please do.

Sending love to each and every one of you out there going through something you didn’t expect to happen.

We’ve got this. We’ve got each other.

#griefjourney #griefcommunity #griefsupport #grief #loss by @charllr

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a month ago

Dad,

There are so many things I want to tell you, and I know I can’t, well not to your face anyway.

So, I hope you’re watching over me, and I hope you’re proud of me.

I love you and I miss you more than words could ever say.

🤍🪽

#parentloss #dadanddaughter #grief #griefandloss #iloveyou by @charllr

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a month ago

What a difference a day makes 🌦️

This weekend was made up of two completely different seasons.

Saturday was a complete wash out; torrential rain, sideways wind, bog and absolutely soaked through waterproofs. Sunday was gorgeous; warm, beautiful views, no wind, no rain and shorts!

What did you get upto at the weekend?

Hope it was a gooden! 🙌🏼

#thelakedistrict #hikeuk #getoutside #hiking #thelakes taken in The Lake District by @charllr

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a month ago