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Charlie

@chezboodes

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man of the year 27 years running
bc🇨🇦
🖤🤍

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taken in London, United Kingdom by @chezboodes

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8 days ago

you know, when I grew up playing right back, in the north east first division. my manager said, “charlie son. that left winger, when he’s coming at ya, keep an eye. every third touch will be a funny one.”

jokes on him. you never know if each third year is gonna be a funny one. (now I’m a staunch left winger).

I spent this year seeing the world. feeling all the feels, hanging with all my faves. I’m learning who I was, discovering who I’m not. bringing myself closer to the things that made me feel more chez, distancing myself from the ones that had the adverse effect.

I posted this time last year about 24’. mixed bag. sour grapes. zero failures. all lessons. history doesn’t repeat, but it often rhymes.

I’ve spoken up a lot. you’ve seen the reels. sick of them maybe. but I’m not projecting my image to protect it. to namesake an app I no longer feel pressured to use, I’m actually be-ing real. not trying to be something I’m not. or superficially appear as such because I’m addicted to the feeling of arrival, even though i’ve never felt it.

I ran my races, had my breakdowns. finish lines became starts. got muscles, got injuries. grew a tache, shaved it. laughed, cried. sang my heart out to zach bryan in hyde park and stayed silent while someone cut onions to sam fender at st james. constructed and corroborated friendships. destabilised, neglected and evicted some. new ink from the greatest artist. meeting old friends halfway up hellhole island cos that’s what you do for your brothers. a rollercoaster isn’t fun if it doesn’t go up and down. even a cute little history date with stringer rounded it off to remind how lucky I am to have every year, not just this one.

from battersea to barca, putney to positano, kennington to kos, hammersmith to hiroshima and morpeth to my mostly hope-filled heart - I did what I set out to do - keep going - and despite my trips, setbacks, i tenaciously gripped my two favourite paradigms.

sometimes active, always moving
staying true, never staying put

i’ll carry that into the next.

happy new year,
chez by @chezboodes

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10 months ago

I know you can’t choose your family, but you can for sure find your brothers.

When I was 19 I had my first severe episode with my mental health. I was open about it. I’ve had a few more phases since then and not been as open. Out of fear, shame, embarrassment.

A few weeks ago, moving to London, training and working basically full time for a couple of years whilst trying to maintain (and arguably amplify) my social life caught up with me.

I couldn’t get out of bed. Went home to my mam. Cried — a LOT — to my mates, my girlfriend, my brother and sister.

Went to the doctors, back on medication, seeing a psychotherapist and reflecting on the last few years of my life. I’ve pushed things down. Used exercise as a way of chasing endorphins. Drank more than I should’ve. Said I’m open but kept the intricacies bottled up. That doesn’t silence them. It marinates them.

Living in a global city, working in politics, active in a high-octane sport community — the only thing I really wanted to protect was the image I projected. But it catches up with you. This isn’t the first time it’s happened, and it won’t be the last if I don’t take proper action.

My therapist said it was refreshing to hear a man my age speak honestly about how I feel — not to fix it all, but to understand it. To look at where it comes from.

I’m not the only one who feels like this. I’m not sharing for praise or attention. I just want to be honest. To have something I can look back on. A reminder that I spoke up. That I acknowledged what I was feeling and chose to do something about it.

I was nervous to tell my friends, my employer, the people close to me. But all I’ve been met with is love, kindness and support. Tell your boys. The people you trust. They won’t judge. They won’t fix it. But they’ll throw a rope down into the hole you’re in — and they won’t let go until they know you’re out.

I’m not out. Not yet. But I’m trying. I know it’ll take time. Might not ever be ‘fixed’. But you have to water your plants. And by opening up, I know I’m on the right path — sometimes active, always moving.

Onwards and upwards, eh. chez boodes x taken in London, United Kingdom by @chezboodes

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a year ago

2nd wedding of my life, 2nd time being best man, 3rd best speech, open for booking inquiries #ChezWeds taken in Capel, Surrey by @chezboodes

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3 months ago

brother got married. it was good. here are photos. taken in Morpeth Town Hall by @chezboodes

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3 months ago

by @chezboodes

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3 months ago

monday scaries #chezreel by @chezboodes

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4 months ago

other shirts and poses are available taken in The Moment by @chezboodes

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4 months ago

by @chezboodes

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4 months ago

I’m sorry officer, is there a certain age you’re 𝙨𝙪𝙥𝙥𝙤𝙨𝙚𝙙 to be? taken in London, United Kingdom by @chezboodes

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5 months ago

i can’t believe it’s not custard taken in Just A Phase by @chezboodes

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5 months ago

what side are you standing on? taken in London, United Kingdom by @chezboodes

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6 months ago