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Sarah Ashley

@cirqdrev

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🎪Le Cirque des Rêves
🎞“Joy, Happiness”-AcrosstheUniverse
🌚 insomnia finsta turned disability journal 🐌
💖💜💙
🤷🏼‍♀️OG @fairsarahh
📚 reading hiatus 😭

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Last Sunday I got to see @hadestown for the 2nd time. I waited at stage door for the first time, to get this ring, made from wires the guitarist uses. So I have a literal piece of the show. In the days since I’ve tried to summarize what it means to me, but it just gets wordier.

Let me start by saying, 2019 took a lot from me. Physically, my hand injuries were the last in a long line of broken body parts that had me on leave from work by that winter and eventually done for good. Emotionally I had given my all as well and was running out of having anything left. Things that had made up core parts of Who I Was - my love of reading, dancing, music, the arts - felt like too much. I stopped following dancers online bc it was too painful to think about. I stopped reading books because I couldn’t control my emotions if I didn’t know the plot. I stopped watching new movies and shows for the same reason. I stopped singing in the shower pretending it was an audition; I had stopped looking for local auditions years before.

In the summer of 2019 I watched the Tonys mostly out of habit, a date night with my Mom. And for the first time, I saw Wait For Me. If you had told me that my living room had disappeared and Reeve was singing directly to me like a movie scene I would’ve believed you. It took my breath away. I was enamored.

I admit it took me a while to fully listen to the soundtrack. I wasn’t supposed to get into new things, because caring about something still felt dangerous. And I thought I’d never see the show because NYC was too far.

But the whole story is there, in the songs. No dialogue missing. And I knew it was an odd time for me to embrace a Greek tragedy, but Hadestown is so much more than that. In the midst of turning 30 feeling like a ghost, leaving my job, and a global pandemic, these songs picked my battered idealistic heart off the floor, dusted off the bitterness that surrounded it, and reminded me that two things can be true at the same time. A tragedy can also be about the power of hope. To live for the world we dream about and the one we live in now. I dove headfirst into loving something again.

[continued in comments] taken in The Fox Theatre by @cirqdrev

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4 years ago

I had one of those No Good Very Bad mornings and then this came in the mail - the nice thing about best friends having baby showers is buying picture books and reading them before you gift them 📚this lovely one by @emilycoxhead helped me out of my funk so I thought I’d do a rare post of things that are my Happy:

1) Floor rainbows have gotten me thru a lot these past 2 years, these are courtesy of

2) my suncatcher decal by my absolute fav @haveanicedayy_ ☀️

3)this derpface even tho she’s why my life (and that carpet) is covered in fur 🐶

4)giant rainbow in the wild! that accompanied me home after a slightly miraculous meetup with @ashleeberghoff and her sweet fam for the first time in a year 🌈

5) got in mom’s car recently and said “oh you’ve got my favorite scarecrow!” right as she was about get rid of him. Rescued and rehomed 👨‍🌾

6) Say the sentence “Grogu gogurt” out loud and try not to giggle 🤭 by @cirqdrev

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4 years ago

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
i carry your heart with me(i carry it in
my heart)i am never without it(anywhere
i go you go,my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing my darling)
i fear
no fate(for you are my fate,my sweet)i want
no world(for beautiful you are my world,my true)
and it’s you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
& the sky of the sky of a tree called life;which grows
higher than soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that’s keeping the stars apart

i carry your heart(i carry it in my heart) ✨
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Figured it was time this got a post! I realized I have zero candid shots because I’m normally taking the photos with this hand 😅 so here’s old staged pics from saying goodbye to the Fairchild Farmhouse because it too has my heart 💖

Shoutout to @briperez_tattoos for making my last minute appt/first tattoo/10 year dream come true! @philosophytattoo

Image ID in comments. Hashtags follow
#EECummings #ICarryYourHeart #NationalTattooDay
#SecondStarToTheRight 🧚🏻
#WristTattoo #PoetryTattoo
#TypewriterFont #CourierNew Wrist tattoo with farmhouse in background taken in Moselle, Mississippi by @cirqdrev

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4 years ago

I really want to share my Nashville trip videos from the 1st and other photos from my Mississippi trip last weekend but I haven’t quite figured out how to get my brain to work on sharing past immediate moments lol. Right now I just really like that my new shorts from @for___days January imperfects sale perfectly match my Frida shirt from @julagiannini and it makes me so happy I don’t even mind the typo heh.
That’s really all I got.
Tho you can swipe for a version where the shirt wrinkle gave Frida an amazing stank face 😅

Image ID: selfie of just my shirt and burnt orange shorts while lying down. The shirt is black with an illustration of half of Frida Kahlo’s face, beside colored block letters that are backwards but are the famous quote “Not fragile [like a] flower, fragile like a bomb”. The color of the last word exactly matches the shorts. In the first photo my arm is holding the shirt down to be seen clearly, in the second photo my arm is gone so there is a wrinkle that perfectly makes it look like Frida is wrinkling her nose. by @cirqdrev

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5 years ago

My hamstring is still ruined from Sunday so I hope my long drive to my neurologist tomorrow goes okay 😬 in the meantime here’s my newest favorite thing, keeping my splints on Baymax 😂 the best robot nurse around!

Image ID: a small plush of the character Baymax from Big Hero 6 is on my nightstand. My big grey CMC brace is on his head and my small peach IP thumb splint is on his hand. A bottle of First Aid Beauty Ultra Repair Cream is in front as well. Two thumb joint splints hanging on a Baymax plush by @cirqdrev

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5 years ago

A simple #lunalessons for today! We do not question the Nap Queen on her methods. Seems especially important to not know where the face ends and the blanket begins. 🐾🐾

Image ID: Luna is a very fluffy all white dog lying on a blue quilt with her back legs straight parallel to her body and her feet resting by her face. Her front legs run straight down like she’s trying to create the letter T. We can see her ears but not her face because it is in and under a white blanket that blends with her fur. It looks both uncomfortable and like the best nap ever had. A white dog sleeping by @cirqdrev

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5 years ago

Day 4 SOME SHROOMS

I was gonna skip tonight bc of a migraine but got this idea and did it in 5 mins 🤷🏼‍♀️🍄🪵

Image Description coming when I have more spoons, shout out to @kumaokea for writing yesterday’s for me

#FernMothInktober

Image ID: pencil sketch on grid paper on the left there is a fallen log with mushrooms on it’s side on the right there is a classic toadstool sitting on the paper are brown sunglasses casting a shadow on each sketch by @cirqdrev

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5 years ago

Day 3 - SWEATER WEATHER: when there’s a chill in the air 🍂🍂

My wrist (and brain honestly) was not gonna let me do much tonight so I decided to use my tea bag from my lil cup before bed, a delicious Red Riding Hood inspired rooibos from an old old @owlcrate box. I’m so glad I decided to look up hair references instead of just doing the mug stain I originally thought of. I also added back extra tea drops after realizing I could photograph it without being dry to give it different shades. Honestly, love it so much 🤗

Image Description: Pencil sketch on grid paper of a woman’s face looking to the right with long hair blowing to the right in a whimsical manner. The drawing is colored different shades of tan from a tea bag.

Hashtags:
#FernMothInktober #inktober2021 #day3 #sweaterWeather #TeaArt #Windswept by @cirqdrev

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5 years ago

Day 2! AUTUMN SPIRIT: She’s a hufflepuff, clearly 💛🍁

*
I started this one at 11pm instead of 1130 like yesterday but genius me decided that the extra time and my new thumb brace meant I should add color. Sooo I missed midnight by 5 minutes 😅 But I decided since I was already late to try and fix the harsh lines between the red and orange fade (don’t rush kids) and added a lil face which changes the whole thing! Maybe tomorrow I’ll give myself adequate time 😅

Image Descriptions: image 1 is a list of 31 prompts on a tan background with Moths. Image 2 is a colored pencil sketch of a cartoon maple leaf wearing a yellow scarf with two black stripes and tassels and a cute little expression inspired by the korok leaves in Zelda. Image 3 is the same sketch without the face drawn. Image 4 is just the pencil sketch on dotted notebook paper with no color. Image 5 is my right hand, white skin and freckled wearing a black thumb brace with straps on the wrist, hand, and joint, next to a my dog’s paw with white fur.

Hashtags: #inktober #inktober2021 #fernmothinktober #day2 #autumnspirit #hufflepuff #autumnscarf #korok #zelda by @cirqdrev

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5 years ago

FROG KING: A King in Love with Frogs, right?!?#inktober #newbie #NoIdeaWhatImDoing

Image description: dotted notebook paper with a small simple drawing of a three point crown with tiny frog art on the front, sitting on a fluffy royal pillow with two tassels. Sketched in clunky black ink not meant for sketching because I don’t know how to plan and have zero pencils or my tablet pen

#FernMothInktober #FrogKing Line drawing of a crown with frog art sitting on a royal pillow with tassels by @cirqdrev

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5 years ago

You ever get that insomnia burst of To-Do-List Energy and wanna grab a laptop and reorganize your finances at 5am? But your joints hurt too much to get out of bed so you continue aimlessly scrolling. Hashtag it me...
How are you feeling today?

Image ID: a screenshot of an iPhone lock screen, the background photo is Orpheus from Hadestown. His face is out of focus, with all the clarity drawing your eye instead to the red flower he holds out. It’s a glorious photo by @murphymade . The date is Sunday February 14. There are two push notifications, the first asks How are you feeling today? The second is the weekly report of Screentime, saying it went down 11%. This is unusual for Sarah, but maybe she slept better that week. taken in Where else by @cirqdrev

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6 years ago

The number of times over the last 3 months -THREE MONTHS - that I have desperately checked to see if there was a new #DeleteThis podcast episode, particularly during insomnia bouts from Situations both personal and global bc I needed Katherine to speak/slap sense into my life... ah happy sigh at this week’s update. Literally felt like a hug where all the tension finally lets go. I don’t use Twitter, can’t tag the pod so um thanks @hankgreen for marrying brilliance, liking to talk like it’s your job, and please don’t leave us again 💖💖 also officially requesting a Cameo cameo 🤞🏻😸

PS yes 2021 insomnia hits different (oh look at the time hello 👀👀) and yes I recommend SciShow Tangents for more Green Family podcasts, the cohosts are lovely and there’s no traumatic rehashing of past current events (which is why I haven’t relistened to previous Delete This episodes... prepandemic... preTr*mp...oyyyy the positivity and innocence is unbearable 🙈) but the lack of Katherine leaves one wanting

Whewwww longer post than I intended but welcome baaaaaack 🎉🎉🎉

Image ID: screenshot of Notes app with a quote saying There has always been a situation! The situation has been be-ing! And underneath it says - Katherine Green, folks by @cirqdrev

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6 years ago