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Amy Cunningham

@cunning_ac

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tender lump / comedian

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anybody else need a head rub? by @cunning_ac

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a day ago

family championship by @cunning_ac

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19 days ago

In 2020, my dad died and I kept his best key chains, some t-shirts, a cowboy hat and his 2009 Infiniti EX35. I kept a recording of his voicemail message, meticulous notes about his illness and death, business cards from the staff at the hospital, four locks of his hair which I meant to distribute to relevant parties but never did, and a sturdy shape of a dad (a dead one) that I assumed I’d carry around for the rest of my life. I thought once you run out of alive-dad, you just get to keep your dead one, as he was or as you choose to remember him, and that the dead one holds in a way that the bristly-chinned, tobacco breathed, soft skinned one couldn’t. A sweet chalk outline to cuddle up to, argue with, call on his birthday or when someone accidentally puts gas in a diesel.

My dead-dad is objects, facts, sense-memories and rules that over time, I stopped living by. He is the lists of things I made when my mom made me throw the actual things out. He’s diffuse but still measurable every time the driver’s seat moved into his pre-sets. Still visible in the engine grease fingerprints he left on the taupe upholstery inside the driver’s side door. Still gently swatting my hands on the steering wheel and telling me not to hold on so tight.

The Infiniti broke down in April and I left it parked on the street for months until the permit expired, then one week more, moving it between main and side streets, writing lengthy parking ticket disputes about what this car means.

I personally think it’s a dumb rule of the universe that you can’t hold anything forever, not even the thing you’re gripping as a consolation for the one that’s already gone, and that eventually even your hands will let you down and release their lovely claw shape. I think it’s ungracious how when you lose what you love most, not even its absence will hold its form. That empty space, when you come back to check, has warped and widened and been pulled into the distance. Like, fuck can’t I just keep one thing? No?

Then I’ll lure @ianwillms to a cemetery to document me crying over my dead-dad’s dead-car, continue to deeply resent impermanence and diligently work with my loved ones to plot its demise. taken in Cemetery by @cunning_ac

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3 months ago

some evening batting to practice getting hit by the ball in low light. taken in Toronto, Ontario by @cunning_ac

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3 months ago

sun stuff taken in High Park by @cunning_ac

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3 months ago

happy birthday to el perrito más neato. god bless the old ladies in the park who say “9 years old?! he’s just a puppy!” he damn well is just a puppy. taken in Toronto, Ontario by @cunning_ac

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3 months ago

Everything is made up and the points don’t matter. (Except for this one) #babyzepps taken in Toronto, Ontario by @cunning_ac

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5 months ago

i’m a professional photographer photographer. by @cunning_ac

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5 months ago

Been hoarding these for 5 years in honour of the man who hoarded them before me but my mom put her foot down and told me I have to “go through them” while i’m in Ottawa. Does anyone need 1 - 43 hats? #hatparty #hatfuneral taken in Ottawa, Ontario by @cunning_ac

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a year ago

happy birthday andrewcito! this is the photo of you i like to look at when i want to remember that day that everyone complimented your red shirt. you already have two wives but you have enough love in your big wet heart for like… four or five at least. by @cunning_ac

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a year ago

for my birthday, i bought myself a girdle, threw myself a quinciñera and decided that this is the year i finally give myself permission to take double the daily recommended dose of all my supplements. taken in Pitalito, Huila, Colombia by @cunning_ac

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2 years ago

got some good scratches in this weekend. taken in Pitalito, Huila, Colombia by @cunning_ac

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2 years ago