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Collin Sibley

@cyborg.picnic

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Artist • Musician • Ex-Academic • Fool
DMV ➡️ Santa Barbara, CA
See/hear/read about my music, art, and jewelry at @roger.buster

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(2/2) The sudden discovery of Muthu’s autoimmune disorder at a routine check-up earlier this year was a huge shock to both us and our veterinarian. Minor changes over the course of months that we had observed in him- gentle enough to assume that he was aging- turned out to be effects of worsening, non-regenerative anemia. Our veterinarian told us that his body had fought so hard against the changes that there was no way we could have known something was as severely wrong with him as there was. Immediately after a follow-up less than a week after our first check-up, we drove Muthu an hour and a half north to receive a two-day-long blood transfusion to save his life. Although the extra month we gained with him was of course worth the cost, Muthu’s condition reared its head again. I have sobbed every day and night of these last weeks watching his chest heaving, strained by doses of prednisone and his low red blood cell count. In spite of Muthu’s great discomfort, we still found ways to bring joy to his and our lives, even until his last day, when he used some of his last strength to saunter through the beach sand and mark one last piece of territory. Today, we took care of him, like we always have, and let him lie to rest after a long and unfair fight.

I am still deeply in grief over my loss. I process my grief best in private, so please do not send a private message of condolence to me over the next few days. However- to my deep surprise as someone who doesn’t really believe in this sort of thing- I’ve also had an experience today that I can only describe as having been visited by his soul. He came by joyously, wanting to show us that he felt and understood our love for us and wanted to make sure we felt and understood his love for us in return. I can’t describe why or how this happened, but I also can’t describe the immense gratitude and relief I feel in the confidence that Tiffany and I gave him the home that his beautiful soul deserves. by @cyborg.picnic

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(1/2) Today I had to say goodbye to one of the deepest loves of my life. I’ve never considered myself a dog person, but from the very first time I felt his tiny puppy paws on my chest, Muthu entered my heart in a way that I never could have expected. Everyone who met Muthu loved him, not only because of how absurdly cute he was, but also because of the joy, love, and mischief with which he loved his life.

Of course I’ll always love him for these reasons too, but this loss is especially painful because Muthu was a key ally and support during and after my life fell apart after the acrimonious end to my deeply painful and unhealthy marriage. Muthu and I forged a bond of mutual understanding and deep trust then that became what felt like a partnership. His love helped me survive some of my darkest days, and we made it out to the other side. My life as Roger Buster began with him as one of my main companions and supports.

Our life together with Tiffany, who became the best mother to him we could ever ask for, was always filled with joy, laughter, love, and trust. Even as our family struggled with major and harrowing challenges, the three of us created a home where we shared countless, unbelievably precious moments of happiness. by @cyborg.picnic

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3 months ago

Lake residency ‘25 by @cyborg.picnic

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As a tile fanatic and proud DC-area native, it was a treat to end my annual East Coast trip with a visit to @1223potomacgallery to see an awesome collection of DC-themed work by @jetcostudios - including some DC-themed tile art! In his mosaic tile pieces, Jermaine “Jet” Carter depicts images related to DC Black culture in the hexagonal shape of the iconic ochre floor tiles of the DC Metro system. The larger images depicted on both of these pieces represent two touchstones of Black DC culture: Chuck Brown, the Godfather of Go-Go; and Ben’s Chili Bowl, an independent Black-owned business open since the 1950s. These tile pieces are only several of the awesome works in this exhibit, so be sure to swing by if you’re in the DC area! S/o to @yaddiya for curating this important space and making sure DC local culture has a space in the DC fine arts scene! by @cyborg.picnic

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I’ve dreamt of designing clothing for almost 20 years now, so this shirt was a long time coming. Hand-drawn tile patterns -> hand-stamped tile print shirt. Thrilled with how this one came out, and excited to show the ones I have in the works 🤯 by @cyborg.picnic

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Very glad I wore my Harvey Birdman t-shirt to fire our first Tiles to Go tiles (!) and ceramics with @ecoshumaker and birdie Charlie 🦜 by @cyborg.picnic

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Waaay late posting this, but we had a great time at the go-go with @inationlive and @westsidegogo in LA earlier this month! Considering the severe cultural, political, and socioeconomic pressures DC and its people are facing in today’s climate, it’s more important than ever to celebrate DC’s rich Black cultural legacy and vitality.

#gogomusic #gogoinla by @cyborg.picnic

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Happy 10th birthday to our Tu-Tu Bear, Muthu Puppy!

We love him so much!

Here’s some pics you probably haven’t seen before… more to come! taken in Santa Barbara, California by @cyborg.picnic

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After this much writing, it’s funny how hard it is to put this harrowing journey into words. When I say this was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, I’m not just talking about the thinking and learning that it took to get here. For ten years, this project has hung over my head and weighed on my shoulders, an incomplete task with an endless number of thankless steps left to go. Over this last decade, my body, my mind, and my soul have been ground down by this work and the sacrifices I have had to make in order to make this work possible.

And yet, all this pain has led to this moment of triumph. This process pushed me beyond my limits again and again, pulled literal blood, sweat, and tears from me, and I still finished it. The 21st-century university is a cruel place that asks for everything and gives next to nothing in return. But this victory is worth more than this degree. For years I felt like I couldn’t do this. Now I feel like I can do anything.

Thank you to everyone who has been a friend or supporter to me over these last decade, and thank you to everyone who is excited to celebrate with me now. This triumph is not just mine, but yours, too. As dark as things got at so many points over this last decade, I now feel radiant. It’s a new dawn, and I can’t wait to share the next phase of my life with you all.

If you want to get a taste of what I’ve been up to over the last ten years- or if you’re a huge nerd and actually want to read this thing for content- you can access my dissertation through the Google Drive link in my bio.

P.s.- thanks to @elysenaylor for the plaque! by @cyborg.picnic

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Looking like a damn Tiles To Go tour guide out here 😂 taken in El Presidio de Santa Bárbara State Historic Park by @cyborg.picnic

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Proud to have raised a lil’ hooper 🏀🐶 by @cyborg.picnic

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🌼🌺🌸 by @cyborg.picnic

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