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DDDeats

@ddd.eats

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Food reviews 🍔
Cause I really do be eating. @dddotun0
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ABEKE Rooftop 💰₦42,800 Abeke is a nice lil rooftop in Lekki, I’ve been there like 5 times, it has this “Old Lagos” vibe to it, kinda looks like your grandmas house if she was Alte. There’s games like Ayo & Jenga, pretty calm vibe. The customer service is amazing too, you know that thing where the waiter is actually *waiting* and looking at you to the point where it makes you uncomfortable. Unlike a certain restaurant that rhymes with Ma Taverna 🤫 Small menu but it’s that typa upscale Nigeria food. They give a complimentary shot with your meal which is nice, pretty sure it’s vodka/gin and lime juice. Asun 🐐 (₦9,000) This shit was 9k bro, it was alright but 9k for like 13 (I counted) small pieces of Asun? #nah, was good but not 9k good, worth about 6k, the bowl (smaller than your hand) is borderline full of veggies anyway. 5th slide is the bowl after I took all the Asun out, not much of a difference, low vibrational. Ewa Agonyin 🍞🫘 (₦14,000) I have become a bread, beans and plantain lover as of recent, it just hits. This shit was good ngl, looks mad oily but it’s not as oily as it looks I promise (or maybe it is 😭). The beans was good but it wasn’t *sweet*, I’m pretty sure at Danfo bistro theres sugar in the beans but this was still brazy. The bread needs to be bigger tho. Poundo Yam & Goat Meat Egusi 🐐 (₦19,800) I dont need to talk too much, this is the *best* Egusi I’ve ever had outside my house. Looks a lil oily, but not that much, I love a dry-ish egusi and this was the one, I think about this a lot, it looks sooo good and tasted so fucking good omds. Egusi supremacy. I would buy this Egusi in bulk if I could. Overall, it was decent, I can vouch for this place if you want Nigerian food and are willing to overpay for vibes. But that Asun price, I know Goat meat isn’t cheap but bro, Tinubu you are killing your people nigga damn. ⭐️8/10 taken in Lekki Phase 1, Lekki, Lagos by @ddd.eats
15
2 months ago
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I’m back 🫣 I’ll be so real, life got a lil too serious 😂 and somewhere inbetween, this page stopped feeling like a hobby and started feeling like work. And once something starts feeling like work (that doesn’t pay) my brain immediately wants no parts of it 😭. BUT in this time, this is the most I’ve eaten in my life (pause), it’s acc crazy how much I’ve eaten in the last 3 years (⏸️ ⏸️ ⏸️). I’ve tried restaurants in different countries, taken bareeeeeee pictures, and every single time I was like “Yeah, I need to get back on my food page tomorrow.” I did not. 🤕 Im a serial procrastinator, one day at a time sha. I’m ngl tho, the one thing this page did for me was force me to try new things, I believe in sticking to what you know when you’re paying for food cause if you risk it and it doesn’t slap you can only blame yourself right? But you guys borderline bullied me into developing a broader palate 😔. Also, traveling to places outside my usuals has opened my eyes (more), it has become *painfully* obvious that we let restaurants in Naij get away with MURDERRR 😭, the difference in food quality, price & taste is absolutely so ridiculous it makes me sick. I genuinely feel like we need to hold restaurants to a higher standard which brings me to the point of all this. I feel like the restaurant industry is full of interior designers and exploiters and if im being (very) honest i have no issue with that, what i have an issue with is charging EGREGIOUS prices for utter & absolute bullshit. It’s just not up to standard in a lot of places in Nigeria. My only agenda rn is better food quality, *realistic* pricing, better SERVICE, more hate (where it is deserved) and praise to the places that deserve it, cause rn i feel like my emotions about this subject are back peaking. The bad news: I’m backed up by like 100+ restaurant visits in the last 3 years 🤕 The good news: I will drop them all in a very concise manner 👍🏽 I promise, this is the longest thing you’ll ever read from me again because I hate talking too much. Yes there will be giveaways and no, i will not be making TikToks 🫶🏽 📥New review drops Monday, I missed you guys 🖤. by @ddd.eats
38
3 months ago
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📍Grey Matter 💰 ₦49,000 Grey Matter is a “Social Space” (whatever that means) that looks pretty nice, has 3 floors and a *game room*. It’s calm stuff like Scrabble, cards and some other games (no Jenga tho☹️). Seye’s Puffs (₦6,500) This is what I call deceit. Cause this p looks so mad, when you bite into it the outer part with the cinnamon and the salted caramel, it slaps so beautifly. BUT when you get into the nitty gritty of the puff puff (the inside) its acc very bland. It leaves a sour after-taste in your mouth that is just bad. For the first 3 seconds you’re in puff puff heaven, then you get inside and you’re in hell for 3 minutes. Chef’s Freid Chicken (₦18,000) 🍗 “Juicy cornmeal breaded Chicken Legs with Hot Honey Garlic sauce”. This was pretty decent, nothing too crazy, I wasn’t getting a “Cornmeal breaded” vibe from it though, it was more like a crispy Chicken vibe. Tasted just okay, the outside was good but the inside was just there. The Hot Honey Garlic Sauce carried, took the Chicken from a 5 to a 7, great Sauce for the Chicken. Its a lot of Chicken for that price, the pieces are acc massive, BUT the meal does not come with a side, so less points for that. Smoked Turkey (₦15,000) 🦃 “Three-day marinated Turkey wings and choice of side”. This was actually very good, better than the Chicken, the sauce its marinated in makes the Turkey so flavourful, it was good. It’s pretty filling so im not worried about the price too much. Yaji Fries 🍟 This came as a side with the Turkey, it’s giving Regular fries were tossed in Yaji immediately after they were fried (not a bad thing). The Fries were good, if normal fries are a 5 this is a 7. Azekwoh’s Rose (₦9,500) 🍸🥀 This is a White Rum-based drink with Lychee, Watermelon, Rose & Lemon It’s a lil fruity drink, the taste is more sweet than strong, but it still hits. After the first glass I said to myself “small but mighty”, cause BRUHHH, after the first one I was feeling it, then I had another and I was floating, definitely the strongest “small” drink ive had in Lagos. Great Drink, solid 9, need it again. Last slide is how you’ll be acting after you get that Azekwoh’s Rose inside you. ⭐️ 7/10 taken in Victoria Island, Lagos by @ddd.eats
8
2 years ago
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Toasties 🥪 💰 ₦5,600 Toasties is a restaurant in Lekki Phase 1 that sells sandwiches, tacos, wings, etc. Had been on my list for a long time, I had heard a lot of good things about them so I tried it on a lunch break randomly. It seemed to be a nice place to work and eat. When I walked in there was no electricity and no WiFi, calm. They have every sandwich available in single or double decker. Pork Belly Twist (₦5,600) 🐖🐓🥑 This sandwich had Pork belly, Chicken, Avocado, Tomatoes (❌), Lettuce, Ginger & Garlic Mayo
 The sandwich was an absolute disaster, I think it was the Pork, just tasted like the colour Brown 🟤 🤢. I know Bread is Bread and it has a standard size, but this still felt small. I cant even talk too much, this thing tasted like ass, texture was decent tho. ⭐️ 2/10 taken in Lekki Phase 1, Lekki, Lagos by @ddd.eats
32
2 years ago
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Flowershop Cafe 💐 (Pt.1) 💰 ₦89,200 Flowershop is a pretty nice place in VI, the service is good every time, the food comes quickly and it has a very nice interior. Shoutout to the waiter that always serves me, idk his name but he’s a tall dark skin guy with an afro, very nice guy. (And they actually sell flowers) . Signature Waffle (₦13,000) 🧇 Served with salted caramel, diced fruits & whipped cream. Good, as if it was acc made in a waffle maker, not the ones that taste like plastic foam. But I needed some extras: Egg 🍳 (₦2,000) On a serious note, how much is a crate of egg? Bacon 🥓 (₦5,200) (2 slices) It was good but that price? if I catch Tinubu. . African Plate 🥩🍗🍌 (₦18,500) A plate of beef & chicken suya, fried plantain & vegetarian spring rolls. Restaurants don’t normally get suya right but this was fire, cant say it’s worth 19k sha. . The Shredded Chicken 🥪🍟 (₦17,000) Sourdough sandwich with baked marinated shredded chicken, jalapeño mayo, rocca & cheddar cheese. I usually hate Sourdough bread but this was acc pretty fire, the sandwich was moist but Sourdough itself is naturally dry as shit, but it still slapped. And it came with Fries . FSC. English Muffin Duo 🍞 (₦17,000) These are like 2 “scone burgers”, the texture of English muffins is very scone-like; powdery, stiff and dry, but the content made it slap like crazy. I wouldn’t normally order this but I was pleasantly surprised. Savory egg muffin with a sausage patty 🍔: this was more like a mini-burger Sweet egg muffin with blueberry jam & banana 🫐🍌: this one was more like a dessert, I prefer this, was a lot better, the blueberry and banana mix was amazing . Oreo Milkshake 🥤 ₦8,500 This was soooo fire, STOOPID thick too. I like how the cup has its neck bent like a nigga was kissing it. Cosmopolitan 🍸 ₦8,000 (Not on the menu anymore). It was such a good drink, very strong as well, the end started tasting like “I miss her”. . Last slide is me after over ordering 🫃🏽 . Flowershop is great, the fact that ive been there 3 times says enough, but these prices are *a lil* steep ⭐️: 8.5/10 taken in Victoria Island, Lagos by @ddd.eats
18
2 years ago
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Maple Lagos 🍁 💰 ₦18,000 Maple is a nice restaurant in Lekki Phase 1, it’s one of those restaurants with nice aesthetics. Ill be honest, when I went it was a public holiday, so you can imagine how packed it was, but nonetheless, this was the worst service I’ve ever seen in my life, I got better service at Lunch in a Boarding school in Epe. I waited ages to get a menu. I waited ages to get my order taken, and then I waited more than an hour for this food. I considered leaving like 5 times since I arrived. Belgian Waffle with Fresh Berries (₦14,500) 🧇🍓🫐 On the menu it says it comes with Bacon, Eggs, a Sausage(Chicken/Pork), Maple Syrup, Whipped Butter, Whipped Cream, and Powdered Sugar. As you can clearly see from the picture, there is no Whipped Butter or Whipped Cream 😕, calm. 🧇 The Waffle was decent tbh, kinda dry, but the Berries made it pop. The Maple Syrup carried this waffle 🥓 The Bacon was stuck, like, literally stuck. I had to break it, not because it was crispy, but because it was stale 🤣 🍳 The Egg was okay, but it was giving “sharp sharp”, tasted okay but it looks so ugly. 🌭 Chose a Chicken Sausage, it was just okay Kiwi Iced Tea (₦3,500) 🥝🧋 I shit you not, this shit tasted like a vape. It tasted like mechanical flavoured water with a lot of sugar, it was so horrible, Nigeria finds a way to ruin bubble/iced tea for me (repeatedly). But I thought it was pretty cool that you could tailor the Boba/Iced Tea how you wanted: Pick your kind of Tea (Black/Green/Jasmine), your Topping (Tapioca/Bursting Boba🧋) and the level of Sweetness (Sweet/Mild/Unsweetened) 🤷🏽‍♂️ If you don’t have patience or time to waste, don’t come here, not worth the money or the time. ⭐️: 3/10 taken in Lekki, Lagos, Nigeria by @ddd.eats
14
2 years ago
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📍MOOD Lagos 💰: ₦12,000 Mood is in the same place Atmosphere was, honestly I prefer the setup of Atmosphere, it was more of a “vibe”. Mood is more of like a “fine dining” setup. Now people just come here to take pictures, little to no vibes and the music is always wayyyy too loud omg 😭. . 6 Chicken Wings (₦8,000)🍗 You get to choose between (1)Crispy, (2)Honey Mustard, (3)Peppered or (4)Spicy Mango Wings. I was always going to chose Honey Mustard. And I’ll be real, it was like 80% Honey 20% Mustard, they were like Honey Glazed Wings, still, they were quite good, but the structure of the wings were… 😵‍💫. You know the drums that have the sharp corners, yeah, those. It was a bit complicated to eat with a Fork & Knife, but still, the Wings are nice. The Wings were small, so the Wing:Naira was not hitting. Arnold Palmer (₦4,000)🥤: Half Lemonade & Half Iced Tea. This is kinda fun cause you can drink the lemonade at the bottom, then drink the Iced Tea on top, its like 2 drinks, but when they eventually mix together it does not taste too great 😕, I put a double shot of Whiskey in it and it was decent though 🫣. . Not worth 12k. But tasted good nonetheless. (And im pretty sure this is the same food I had at Atmosphere, only thing that changed was the setup and the name 😂) ⭐️: 6/10 taken in Lekki Phase 1, Lekki, Lagos by @ddd.eats
3
3 years ago
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📍Kingfisher🎣 💰: ₦21,000 The service is some of the worst service in Lekki, and that’s saying a lot. The Music sucks too. Nice lagoon-side view tho, it’s kinda like Sailors & Bay Lounge. All 3 of them are the same, shit service, overpriced and you will definitely see Yahoo Boys & 30+ men with someone that’s not their Wife 😵‍💫. Steak Sandwich (₦8,000) 🥩🥪 I think I have to start blaming myself for what I order cause why did I get a Steak Sandwich at Kingfisher 😭??? These guys brought me Beef Shawarma bro, there was even Cabbage inside, why????? 😕. there were more peppers in the “Sandwich” than there was Meat, it was actually traumatising. NOT a Steak Sandwich, this is a Beef Wrap, cant even call it Shawarma, that’s an insult to Shawarmas. It was bad, just a mess I might have to start bringing dictionaries to restaurants cause I don’t think Nigerians understand what “Steak” is, this was like the 7th time (no hyperbole) that I got Shredded Beef as Steak, is everybody actually okay???? Oh, it came with Fries. Asun Dodo (₦7,500)🐐🍌 This was so good but there was barely any actual Dodo, it was Goat meat with a side of Plantain, which wouldn’t have been too bad, but that day I was feeling Plantain (no Diddy). The Dodo was chunky as hell, the person that was cutting it did not try 😭, the Asun was chunky too so it balanced out. It wasn’t like a Gizdodo mix, it’s like they brought Asun, fried plantain, and put everything in stew and mixed it, they deffo did not cook it together. Nonetheless, it was still a good side, but WAYYYYY too small for the price. I get that Goat meat is expensive but like…what’s all this 😕 Cosmopolitan (₦5,500) 🍸 - Weirdly enough, for Lagos this is now a cheap drink 😂. I have to give them credit for this though, the drinks are strongggggg, looks quite small but brother. It was mighty. No but let’s be serious, CABBAGE?????? Fuck off man 🤣 ⭐️: 3/10, not worth it taken in Lekki Phase 1, Lekki, Lagos by @ddd.eats
17
3 years ago
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📍Jay’s Diner, Ikoyi 💰: ₦26,200 Jay’s is a diner in the Falomo Roundabout Square, they’re open from 6pm-6am, makes it a good night time spot to eat at. The service is good and the food comes quickly. DC Combo Meal 🌭🍗🍟 (₦11,200) This has 1 Hotdog, 4 Chicken Wings, Fries & a Drink.
🌭 I mostly get the American Classic, the bread is really soft and its quite creamy, the crispy chips on top are a nice topping. I decided to branch out one day and get the Homeland Hotdog (6th slide), it was absolutely terrible, you can tell, even looks like Ewedu. 🍗 I’ve had all their wings, the Yankee Wings (honey mustard) are the best. But now they do this thing where they give you 3 wings and 1 chicken popper 😂. The Economy is HARD. Their wings taste good yeah, but every 6 months the size & quality reduces, so its become a thing where the wings are not enough for the price (8 wings = ₦6k) cause they’re so small. I took a friend there last December and he had a full on argument with the manager about the size of their wings 😭, they gave him 3 (tiny) chicken poppers and 5 (small) Chicken Wings, he was *livid*. 🍟The fries are the normal, average, square-ish fries. The box used to be ₦6k+, but my real issue with it is that every time they increase the price they reduce the size & quality. The difference between 2021 and 2023 Jay’s Diner is shocking to say the least. . Lotus Shake🥤 (₦7,000) Normal milkshake bruh, a lil watery, tastes nice but I wouldn’t pay ₦7k for this again, it’s just not thick enough. . Turkey Lover Pasta (₦8,000) 🍝 (7th Slide) This is falling off even harder. The Pasta is simply not good. it was nothing to write about, just pasta, tasted like they made it “sharp sharp”. The Turkey in it was dry too 😵‍💫. . I love Jay’s diner, but like, very respectfully, they have fallen off, in 2021 it was relatively cheap and *very* good, used to be my favourite nighttime restaurant in Lagos, but it feels like every time they increase their price, they reduce their size & quality. The food has just gotten so average, this fall from glory is shocking. ⭐️ 6/10 (considering I would’ve given them a 9/10 in 2021) taken in Ikoyi, Lagos, Nigeria by @ddd.eats
38
3 years ago
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📍The Vue Restaurant, Abuja 💰₦85,734 This is a fine dining Pan-Asian restaurant at the top floor of Novare Mall, Abuja. The service was amazing and the waiters were so nice and patient (opposite of Lagos). Im gonna do this review short and sweet cause I cant remember the details (my bad), but it was pretty decent and the restaurant looks really good. This review took so long cause ive been looking for their menu, I eventually found it on JUMIA FOOD. What kind of place doesn’t have an online menu in 2023??????? Lamb Biriyani 🐑🍚 (₦15,373) This was my favourite, it was very tasty, there wasn’t much lamb in it tho Vegetable Spring Rolls (₦7,095) Very normal, nothing to write about Fried Rice with Prawns 🍤 (₦10,643) The Prawns in it were big so that was a plus Fried Rice with Vegetables 🍚 (₦8,278) I think Asian Fried Rice with no protein is pointless, with the sauces it made sense tho Schezwan Fried Rice with Chicken 🍚🍗 (₦9,460) This is the best Asian Rice I’ve had in Nigeria. Seriously. Chicken 65 🍗 (₦8,869) No idea what this means, but it was pretty good Sliced Lamb in Black Bean Sauce (₦10,643) It was just there Prawns in Schezwan Sauce (₦15,373) Just there. Cocktail 🍹 (₦ N/A) Not sure what this drink was called, I just know it’s a sweet drink with a cinnamon topping, it was actually pretty good. But there was no need for the bartender to be setting the drink on fire bro 😭. ⭐️7/10 taken in Abuja, Nigeria by @ddd.eats
9
3 years ago
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📍The Brunch Club, Maitama 💰₦20,500 As the brunch lover that I am, I was craving brunch in Abuja one morning, and someone recommended this spot to me, cant remember who did, but whoever you are, I love you. The Brunch Club is a restaurant that serves all day breakfast in Maitama, it’s just nice. They also have a lot of games and books, pretty nice place. Breakfast with Love (₦20,500) 🥞🧇🌭🍞🍳🥓🍗🍇🧈: This is a Brunch platter that contains: Pancakes, Toast, Waffle, Eggs, Beef/Chicken Sausage, Baked beans, Turkey Bacon, Fried Chicken, Fruits, Homemade Syrup and Butter. 🥞🧇The Pancakes & Waffles were normal, they were quite plain, but the textures were pretty good. The Pancakes weren’t too thin and they weren’t too thick, just right (for me). The Waffles were similar, just nice. But the syrup escalated both, the Syrup was gooooood. 🍞The Toast was Toast, was buttered before it was toasted, it was okay, I mean, its fuckin Toast. 🍳 You can pick how you want your eggs, I got mine scrambled (PAUSE!). The Eggs were veryyyy good, it kinda felt like 4 eggs, wasn’t well done, it was kinda moist, was a good bowl of eggs. 🌭 I chose the Beef Sausage (pause), it wasn’t great. Look at this sausage (heavy pause), it looks like a dog shat it. Tasted okay tho, but there are at least 10 better sausages in the market for sure (pause). ❌ I don’t eat Baked Beans, I cant speak on alladat. In fact I *hate* Baked Beans. Im sure it was your regular Heinz can of Baked Beans sha. 🥓 The Bacon was Turkey Bacon (very halal, Alhamdulillah). Turkey Bacon ain’t got SHIT on regular Bacon tho, it felt cooked/boiled, not fried, that shit might as well be Ham, still slapped tho. 🍗 Fried Chicken In Stew. That’s it. 🍇 A bunch of grapes and 2 strawberries. Simple. I cant explain but all the stuff on the platter individually tastes average but when you start eating them together its beautiful. Good platter. Better than a lot of brunch spots in Lagos and in Lagos this would be 30k AT LEAST. ⭐️7.5/10 taken in Maitama, Federal Capital Territory, Nigeria by @ddd.eats
14
3 years ago
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📍La Chaumiere 💰₦10,300 This is a nice looking Restaurant/Cafe/Pasty & Bakery shop in Victoria Island, Lagos. Like a lot of Lagos places, it looks so nice that you won’t know it is a terrible institution 😕. The service was slow as hell too. Philly Cheesesteak 🥪🫑🍟 (₦10,300) This shit was straight up Beef and Bell peppers. The Bread was stale as shit. The Beef was rubbery as shit and it tasted like beef in Black Bean Sauce. How THE FUCK, do you make a SANDWICH taste like Beef in BLACK BEAN SAUCE????? Is everybody alright????? 😕. This is damn near one of the worst sandwiches I’ve had in my life, its like they just put Beef, Pepper and put slice of Cheese on top and roasted it in an oven 😂. This is a *very shit* Kebab on bread. Ew. 🤢 🍟 The “meal” came with Fries, the Fries were okay. I tasted the wings, they weren’t BAD, the sauce of the wings itself was just very dead. Also, look at my niggas Pizza mehn, there are 10 fucking slices of Pepperoni disproportionately placed 😭😭😭😭. IS SAUSAGE SCARCE IN THE MARKET?????? 😵‍💫 Shit service, shit food, but the place looks nice. Sounds about Lagos. ⭐️2/10 taken in La Chaumiere by @ddd.eats
21
3 years ago
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