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Denise | The Science of Change

@definewithdenise

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Behavior science for real-life change
Private BCBA for kids & families | Bay Area
1:1 ACT therapy + health coaching | Virtual
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DEFINE; I didn’t become a private BCBA overnight.

I started as an RBT in college with a pretty simple plan: get my master’s, become a BCBA and keep moving up.

And I did.

I became a BCBA in 2018, supervised teams, moved into leadership and eventually became a Clinical Director.

At the time, I thought that was what career growth was supposed to look like.

Then I realized I wanted something different.

In 2021, I took what I knew about behavior and entered the health + fitness space. I spent the next several years coaching hundreds of women online and seeing firsthand how much behavior science could apply outside of traditional ABA.

Eventually, I found my way back to direct work too.

Kids + families.
Adults + ACT.
Health + behavior change.
Coaching + teaching.
Supporting other helpers.

And in 2025, I finally started building something of my own where I could bring all of those pieces together.

When I look back, I can see that every part of my career gave me something I use today.

But it also took me years to figure out what was possible because I was figuring so much of it out as I went.

That’s one of the biggest things I believe now:

You can absolutely build a different career as a BCBA. It can take time. And having mentorship from people who have already built what you’re trying to build can help you see the path — and move through it faster.

You still have to do the work.

You just don’t have to figure out every step by yourself.

If you’re a BCBA who has been thinking about building your own business or creating a career outside of the traditional path, comment ASCEND and I’ll send you the details.

#BCBA #BehaviorAnalysis #PrivatePractice #BehaviorChange #BCBABusiness by @definewithdenise

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19 days ago

DEFINE; Denise.

Allow me to actually reintroduce myself 👋🏼

I’m Denise — and depending on how you found me, you probably know a very different side of me.

I started my career in behavior analysis, working my way from an RBT to becoming a BCBA, then a director… and eventually realizing I wanted to build something of my own.

But I’ve also always been the girl who loves movement, health, running, lifting, creating, connecting with people, and asking why we do the things we do.

For a while, I thought those parts of me needed to stay separate.

Turns out, they were the whole point.

So I created DEFINE — a space where behavior science can leave the textbook and actually help us live. With kids. Parents. Helpers. Women. And honestly, myself too.

These days I’m a BCBA, founder, coach, therapist, athlete, creator, helper, partner, daughter, sister, friend… and a human still figuring plenty of shizz out 😂

I believe in doing meaningful work, loving people hard, taking care of the body carrying you through this life, and not taking yourself too seriously along the way.

There are a lot of titles I could introduce myself with.

But underneath all of them—

I’m Denise.

And I’m really glad you’re here. 🤍

#BehaviorChange #BCBA #WomenInWellness #HealthAndWellness by @definewithdenise

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2 months ago

DEFINE; BCBA

I’ve been saying BCBA a lot around here, so I figured I should probably explain what we actually do…

At the simplest level: we’re behavior scientists + behavior change professionals.

We study what people do, what influences it, and how to create environments and supports that make meaningful behavior more likely.

That can look VERY different depending on the person.

Helping a child communicate.
Helping a parent build a routine at home.
Helping someone follow through with movement or nutrition.
Helping a team improve performance.
Helping someone notice a pattern that keeps getting in the way—and build something different.

Different people. Different goals. Different environments.

Still behavior.

You may know BCBAs primarily through autism services, but behavior science can be applied wherever behavior happens.

And behavior happens everywhere.

That’s why my work may look a little different around here. I use behavior science + ACT across health, therapy, kids, adults, parents + other helpers.

Same science. Different applications.

If you’re looking for support with behavior change for yourself, your child, your family, or your team, fill out an inquiry at the link in my bio and tell me what you’re working on. 🫶🏼

#BCBA #BehaviorAnalysis #BehaviorScience #BehaviorChange #ACT by @definewithdenise

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19 days ago

DEFINE; sleep.

I noticed it again this week. Exhausted by 9, still on my phone at midnight. I knew I was tired. I stayed up anyway.

As a BCBA, I finally asked the question I’d ask about any behavior: what is staying up doing for me? The answer was simple. After a full day of taking care of everyone else, that late hour was the only time nobody needed anything from me.

So I stopped fighting the habit and started giving myself what it was giving me, just earlier. Twenty minutes that are mine, right after dinner. Then a few small steps working backward from lights out. Phone in the kitchen, book on my pillow. When my mind starts listing everything I didn’t finish, I notice it and let it sit there while I rest.

And I count the nights I get close. Four out of seven still counts.

Save this for tonight, and send it to the helper in your life who’s still scrolling at midnight.

Want to know what you’re protecting your sleep for? Comment VALUES for my free values assessment.

Define your behavior. Define your values. Define your health.

#helpingthehelpers #BCBA #sleephabits #behaviorscience #ACT by @definewithdenise

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5 hours ago

DEFINE; “I can’t.”

Three words that create an opportunity to practice psychological flexibility.

As a private BCBA, I integrate Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) into everyday moments like this.

When a child says “I can’t,” I’m paying attention to more than the words. I’m observing what happens before, what happens next, and how I can support a different response.

Through ACT and behavior analysis, we’re practicing:

• Cognitive defusion: “I can’t” is a thought, not necessarily a fact.

• Acceptance: Something can feel frustrating or difficult, and we can make room for that feeling.

• Committed action: Taking another small step, even when discomfort is present.

• Shaping and reinforcement: Supporting successive attempts and recognizing effort, flexibility, and independence.

But here’s what I really want adults to understand.

Children are learning from how WE respond to difficulty, too.

They observe how we handle frustration, how we speak to ourselves when things get hard, and what we do when something doesn’t go our way.

If we want children to develop psychological flexibility, we have to practice modeling it ourselves.

That means showing them what it looks like to feel frustrated and remain present. To make mistakes and try again. To ask for help. To acknowledge that something is hard while choosing our next action.

Our behavior becomes part of their learning environment.

The goal isn’t to teach children to push through everything. It’s to help them develop the flexibility to try again, ask for support, take a break, and return to what matters.

We cannot only teach psychological flexibility. We have to demonstrate it.

And that work begins with us.

Comment ACT if you want to see more real-life examples of how I integrate ACT and behavior analysis into my work with children, adults, and families.

#BCBA #AcceptanceAndCommitmentTherapy #BehaviorAnalysis #PsychologicalFlexibility #BehaviorChange by @definewithdenise

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7 days ago

DEFINE; Sunday.

“I’m tired and the week hasn’t even started.” I said that out loud last Sunday, standing in my kitchen. Then I did what I always do: built a huge plan to fix the whole week. By Tuesday, one box was checked.

As a BCBA, I finally looked at it the way I’d look at any pattern. My calendar stayed full all week, and my energy dropped every day. I was planning for Monday-me and expecting her to show up on Thursday.

So now I plan for the energy I’ll actually have. Every habit gets a floor for hard days and a ceiling for good ones. I do a few small things on Sunday so tired-Monday-me has fewer decisions. I pick one word for the week. And I block one rest window like it’s an appointment.

Whether you’re a teacher, nurse, therapist, BCBA, or parent, save this for tonight. Send it to the helper in your life who’s already in Monday mode.

Not sure what your word is? Comment VALUES for my free values assessment.

BCBAs, if you want to learn to do this for yourself and your clients, comment WAITLIST for the January cohort.

Define your behavior. Define your values. Define your health.

#helpingthehelpers #BCBA #burnout #behaviorscience #ACT by @definewithdenise

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7 days ago

DEFINE; success.

Our parents came to this country with very little, leaving behind everything they knew in hopes of building a better life for their families.

Growing up as children of Vietnamese immigrants, we witnessed what hard work, sacrifice, resilience, and love looked like long before we understood the weight of it all.

We watched our parents work long hours, make sacrifices, and put their children’s futures before their own.

And somewhere in that story, two kids found each other.

We’ve known each other since we were five. We’ve grown up together, experienced different seasons of life, and watched each other become the people we are today.

Now, as adults, we get to build a life together with opportunities our parents worked so hard to give us.

The older I get, the more I understand just how much they gave up so we could have choices they never had.

And the more grateful I become.

For our families. For our upbringing. For every sacrifice that brought us here. For the privilege of creating a life that once felt so far out of reach.

We are living parts of a dream that started long before us.

And I hope we continue to make them proud.

That’s the real flex.

#ChildrenOfImmigrants #VietnameseAmerican #ImmigrantParents #GenerationalProgress #Gratitude by @definewithdenise

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7 days ago

DEFINE · meal prep for when you’re not in a cooking season 🤍

Maybe it’s a busy season of life. Maybe you’re just not in the mood to cook. Either way, takeout keeps winning… and so does the bill.

Here’s the thing: it’s not a willpower problem. It’s a setup problem.

As a behavior analyst, I know behavior follows the path of least effort. Takeout is a few taps, no dishes, and food right now. That’s immediate reinforcement. So instead of forcing myself to “just cook,” I change the setup:

01 · Lower the effort: prep components, not recipes
02 · Set the antecedents: make the easy choice the obvious one
03 · Add friction: make takeout a little harder
04 · Reinforce the win: make the payoff visible

No chef skills required, and no guilt if you order takeout anyway. That’s data, not failure. Adjust the setup, not your worth.

Save this for Sunday, and tell me: what season are you in right now?

#mealprep #behaviorscience #habitchange #busyseason #definewithdenise by @definewithdenise

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7 days ago

DEFINE; Me and my 100 different aesthetics because I get to define who I am.

Some days I want to be strong. Some days I want to feel feminine. Some days I want to compete, lift heavy, slow down, dress up, or do absolutely nothing.

I get to change. I get to explore. I get to hold different versions of myself at once.

My body is allowed to change. My interests are allowed to evolve. And my identity gets to be bigger than how I look.

I get to define myself through how I choose to live, not just how I choose to look.

#DEFINEtogether #BodyImage #SelfAcceptance #WomenWhoLift #AuthenticLiving by @definewithdenise

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7 days ago

DEFINE; Love is learned through what we model every day.

The way we speak to each other. The way we navigate disagreements. The way we show affection, respect, patience, and repair.

Our children are always observing, and the relationships they grow up around become part of how they learn to build their own.

As a behavior analyst, I know that what we model matters just as much as what we teach.

Love is more than something we say. It’s something we practice.

#BehaviorAnalysis #ConsciousParenting #HealthyRelationships #ParentingWithIntention #DEFINEtogether by @definewithdenise

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7 days ago

DEFINE; passing the BCBA exam demonstrates that you can meet a standard of knowledge. But how well does that prepare you for the actual work?

You can memorize the principles of reinforcement, identify functions of behavior, interpret graphs, and select the correct answer on an exam.

But can you sit with a parent who’s crying without immediately trying to fix the situation?

Can you recognize when your own discomfort is influencing your clinical decisions?

Can you ask difficult questions, receive feedback without becoming defensive, and recognize when your approach isn’t working?

Can you collaborate with people who disagree with you? Recognize your own biases? Adapt the science to the person and environment in front of you?

These are skills that require practice, feedback, reflection, and experience.

Knowing behavior analysis and practicing behavior analysis are two different repertoires.

Passing the exam matters. But the learning cannot stop at certification.

Our clients deserve clinicians who continue developing both their technical competence and their interpersonal skills.

#BCBA #BehaviorAnalysis #BCBAExam #ClinicalSkills #ACTforBCBAs by @definewithdenise

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7 days ago

DEFINE; lessons.

People ask what I’d do differently if I could start over as a BCBA.

Honestly? Nothing.

I chased titles. I led with compliance early on. I said yes to everything and put my own health last. I waited to feel ready and tried to do it all alone.

Every one of those “mistakes” taught me something I couldn’t have learned another way. They shaped how I practice now: assent-based, values-driven, and a lot more human.

If you’re early in your career, be open to failing. That’s where the learning is. Take what you need from this, and leave the rest.

Which one hit home for you?

Define your behavior. Define your values. Define your health.

#BCBA #behavioranalyst #ABA #ACT #lessonslearned by @definewithdenise

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7 days ago