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Dr Robert Glover | No More Mr. Nice Guy

@drgloverofficial

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Author of No More Mr. Nice Guy.
Stop seeking approval. Start living with integrity.
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When I was young, a few of the women I called just friends liked me, and I never noticed.

Honest count: how many of your closest friends are women? And has that ever made it easier not to date? by @drgloverofficial

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7 days ago

THAT'S NOT ROBERT YOU'RE LOOKING AT

I'm in Brisbane, Australia. I arrived at 4:30 this morning, and Michael Stone, who lives here in Brisbane, picked me up at the airport. Already got my Australian coffee, a long black, next to the Brisbane River.

I'm here for TGOM, The Gathering of Men, and we join the crew tomorrow.

Michael came to TGOM last year as a participant, all by himself, not knowing anybody. This year he's coming back as a facilitator, and some of his mates are coming too. So I asked him what made the impact.

"It really opened me up to the world of men's work... It's a place for men to really step into an intentional initiation and rites of passage, and to be supported by so many other men in it."

And the one thing he guarantees a first-timer will take away: "They're going to be taken out of their comfort zone in the best way possible."

The Gathering of Men, 2-5 October on the Gold Coast of Queensland, Australia:
https://www.thegatheringofmen.com
Use the code GLOVER10 for 10% off.

So with that, we are in. by @drgloverofficial

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7 days ago

GRATEFUL FOR GOOD MEN TO SEE ME OFF

Breakfast this morning in Marina Del Rey with some good men, before I head down under to Oz for The Gathering of Men.

With that, I'm in. by @drgloverofficial

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9 days ago

GRATITUDE IS CONTAGIOUS

When was the last time you spent a few minutes just feeling grateful? Grateful for where you're at in life, right now, in this moment, for the blessings that rain down on you?

I know it's easy to feel grateful when you get upgraded to first class, when you wake up in a nice hotel to sunny skies and the ocean, and when you're about to fly business class to Australia. I get it.

But I've had plenty of dark nights of the soul. I've struggled. I've had my challenges. I bumble my way through, and I forget to feel grateful.

The challenge is not to feel gratitude when everything's going well. The challenge is to feel gratitude when you're struggling, when you're doubting, when you're asking why me?

In the midst of those moments, if we can settle, take a breath and look around. Blue skies. Rain. A dog in the park. A baby's smile. A body that feels good. Enough to eat this morning. A kindness someone gave us.

So today, for a few moments, think of three things for which you feel grateful. Then post one of them down below. Gratitude is contagious. What are you grateful for?

Follow along as I continue to Oz for The Gathering of Men, 2-5 October on the Gold Coast of Queensland, Australia:
https://www.thegatheringofmen.com
Use the code GLOVER10 for 10% off.

With that, I'm in. And I'm grateful for you. by @drgloverofficial

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9 days ago

How your dating has gone is not a verdict on whether you're a good man.

Almost every man I've worked with judges his worth by how he's done at sex, dating and relationships. He hasn't dated much. Or he's never had sex. Or his relationships never last more than two months. Or he's been divorced two or three times.

Relationships are challenging. They're a struggle. And you're relating to another human being who has her own struggles too.

"The truth is, you're a good guy. You're a good human being."

"Whatever your relationship history is, is not the determining factor of are you a decent person? Are you lovable? They're not the same thing."

Separate those two, and a lot of the pressure goes out of dating. That's a good start.

What would you try in dating if it couldn't say anything about your worth?

Full lesson - link in bio. by @drgloverofficial

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9 days ago

If dating has been going badly, go on 12 easy dates in 12 weeks. It gets you experience and takes the anxiety down.

In my book Dating Essentials for Men I talk about doing what I call a 12 and 12, "where you go on 12 dates with 12 different women over 12 weeks." One a week.

"These are no pressure dates." Not the woman you want to marry. Not even necessarily a woman you want to sleep with. A friend's sister. A cousin. Someone you'd simply enjoy an evening with.

You can even tell her what you're doing. "I've been given the assignment to go on 12 dates with 12 women in 12 weeks. I would like to take you out on a date." Some women won't like it. "Most of them will see it as fun and go, yeah, let's do it." There's no pressure on her either.

One rule: if you meet a woman you want to keep seeing, keep seeing her. She just doesn't count, and you still finish the twelve. It slows you down right when the neediness wants to take over.

Commit before you know where the twelve are coming from. Then tell your family and your friends you're doing it and ask them to set you up.

"Guys are always surprised how many dates they end up actually getting."

Could you get 12 casual dates in 12 weeks if you told people you were practising?

Full lesson - link in bio. by @drgloverofficial

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9 days ago

THE LONGEST JOURNEY BEGINS WITH A PEDI

Robert here, or at least my feet are here. I'm on countdown to head to Australia this week, so it was time for a pre-journey, pre-flight pedicure. Thanks to my lovely wife Lupita for giving my feet a good going over. And Nala patiently waited her turn to get her own pedi and paint on her nails.

I'll be sharing a bunch of videos as I head down under to Oz to join The Gathering of Men, and then spend some time on the Gold Coast writing my book, Positive Emotional Tension.

So a quick question: when was the last time you did something nice for yourself? A pedi, a mani, a massage, a nice walk, your feet in the ocean, a comfortable evening with a good friend and a glass of wine.

We get so busy. But to really be at our best, to really enjoy life, to bring our A game, we need to take a vacation moment. Ideally a little time out every day. And maybe once a weekend, do something special.

The Gathering of Men, 2-5 October on the Gold Coast of Queensland, Australia:
https://www.thegatheringofmen.com
Use the code GLOVER10 for 10% off.

With that, I'm in. by @drgloverofficial

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10 days ago

When most of your closest friends are women, the friendships can quietly meet the needs that would otherwise send you out looking for a partner.

And closeness that never turns sexual starts to feel normal. Your drive dulls, and women have nothing really to be drawn to.

I'm not telling you to give up your female friends. I had them, and when I was young some of them liked me and I never noticed. Keep them. Just stop letting them fill the place a partner would.

Do you want more — or has "just friends" become comfortable?

Full lesson - link in bio. by @drgloverofficial

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10 days ago

If most of your close friends are women, closeness without sex can start to feel normal. That has a cost.

When I was young I had women in my life who were just friends. In hindsight, they liked me. I was just so oblivious.

"Having kind of intimate, close, non-sexual relationships with women can start feeling like the norm. It just feels normal to your nervous system."

And when it feels normal, your sex drive dampens, and women have nothing really to be drawn to in you.

"It doesn't mean you got to give up good female friends, but you may want to limit some things."

How long has close-but-not-sexual been your normal with women?

Full lesson - link in bio. by @drgloverofficial

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12 days ago

When your female friends meet your companionship needs, the need to go find a partner quietly goes away.

I saw it for years in clients who had a lot of female friends. They'd go long periods of time not dating, not being in a relationship. There's nothing wrong with the friendships. But the needs were getting met: connection, someone to talk to, someone to hang out with.

It's one reason I moved away from having very many female friends myself, even before I met my wife.

Which needs are your female friends meeting that you'd otherwise have to go out and look for?

Full lesson - link in bio. by @drgloverofficial

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12 days ago

Lots of close female friends can quietly dull your drive to go find a partner.

They're friends. You hang out, you have a good time, and there's nothing wrong with that. I'm not going to preach against it.

But when close, non-sexual relationships with women are most of what you have, that starts to feel like the norm. It just feels normal to your nervous system. Your sex drive dampens. And women have nothing really to be drawn to in you.

You don't have to give up your friends. Just notice what they're doing for you that a partner otherwise would.

How many of your closest friends are women — and how long since you went out with a woman you actually wanted more from?

Full lesson - link in bio. by @drgloverofficial

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13 days ago

👊🏻AMAZING👊🏻

On the shoreline of Lake Ontario, with the beautiful city of Toronto behind me, wrapping up such an amazing weekend.

The Integrated Man Workshop. Such an amazing success. So many amazing men going deep, getting real, opening up, claiming their power, opening their hearts, claiming their love.

It has just been an amazing experience. I can't wait to come back and do it again. The people here have treated us so well in Toronto.

Thank you to the ManKind Project Canada for hosting, and to every man who showed up.

Tomorrow I head back to Puerto Vallarta, and then by the end of the week, on to another journey. I'm headed to Oz. Down under. Brisbane, Australia. The Gathering of Men.

More to come about that soon. Stay tuned.

With that, I'm in. by @drgloverofficial

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17 days ago