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Elen | The Postpartum Society

@elenpinsky

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✨ psychology grad + postpartum educator
🫶 matrescence · baby sleep · relationship after baby
📍melbourne, aus
📧 [email protected]

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🗣️ Postpartum is not a 6 week finish line - it’s a journey that takes time, support, and understanding.

The 6 week postnatal check up often feels like a quick tick box exercise that hands us a ‘green light’ to bounce back, but the reality is so different. Healing is not linear, and it definitely doesn’t end at 6 weeks.

👉🏼 Research shows that postpartum recovery takes at least 12 months - sometimes even longer - to fully process the physical, mental, and emotional changes that come with motherhood. From hormones to mental health to pelvic floor recovery - it all takes time.

Let’s talk about this. Let’s redefine postpartum as a season of healing - not a deadline. ❤️

💛 Have you felt pressured to “bounce back”? Share your experience below! ⬇️

#postparumbody #postpartumrecovery #motherhood #postpartumhealing #postpartumjourney White background with large black text that says ‘Postpartum is NOT 6 weeks.’ Minimalist design. by @elenpinsky

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a year ago

Since becoming a mother, @elenpinsky heard some version "let me know if you need anything" more times than she could count, from family, from friends, from people who genuinely love her. "They meant well. They all did. And still, every time, it left me with the same quiet feeling. That I was failing at something other mothers had figured out. That asking for help was a skill I was supposed to have - and somehow hadn't learned yet. Two years in, I'm still learning. I still don't always manage it. And for a long time, that felt like a personal flaw."⁠
⁠
In Elen's article #onthenotepad she explains why it isn't. by @elenpinsky

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2 months ago

Postpartum pet aversion made it to New York to one of the largest news magazines.

Building The Postpartum Society has been one of the most meaningful things I’ve done. Every piece of content, every response to a comment at 3am, every topic I choose to talk about, it all comes from a deep belief that the parts of postpartum nobody names are the parts that matter most.

Dog mum guilt. Pet aversion after baby. Postpartum overstimulation. These aren’t small things. They’re experiences hundreds of thousands of mothers carry silently through their postpartum journey, wondering if something is wrong with them. There just hasn’t been enough space for these conversations and not enough education to give you the tools to navigate this.

Seeing this topic reach an international audience is a reminder of why this work matters. Postpartum recovery is complex, layered, and deeply human. The more we talk about it, the less alone mothers feel.

Thank you for being here. For sharing. For sending posts to friends at 3am. You are the reason these conversations reach the world.

The full article is linked in my bio. 🔗

#postpartumpetaversion #dogmumguilt #overstimulatedmom #postpartumrecovery Carousel cover slide with a screenshot of the Newsweek website featuring an article titled ‘How to Know If You’re Experiencing Postpartum Pet Aversion.’ Text overlay reads ‘We Made It To International News.’ taken in Melbourne, Victoria, Australia by @elenpinsky

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3 months ago

Everyone asks when we’re having a second baby and talks about the perfect age gap,
but the financial reality and the system make it harder for young families.

What about paid parental leave that doesn’t give mums enough time to recover, or dads enough time to be there?

📈A fourth RBA rate hike this year landing on our mortgage, daycare fees that keep climbing, a grocery run that costs more every week, and postpartum care that stops at the six week postnatal check up, right when so many of us are still healing.

And yet another news article about how the system is worried about the declining birth rate. 📉
I want a second baby. But wanting one isn’t enough when the postpartum support isn’t there.
Postpartum care shouldn’t end at six weeks. And to the mums who want a second baby and are waiting, trying or grieving: 💬 What stops you from having another baby? Tell me in the comments

#secondbaby #babynumbertwo #postpartumcare #postpartumsupport #paidparentalleave A mum leans over a pram to check on her toddler, with text reading "Everyone asks about a second baby. Here's all I think about. by @elenpinsky

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3 days ago

Cutting my hair short changed more than my hair.

Since becoming a mum, I haven’t felt like myself. Many times I looked in the mirror and didn’t like who I saw.

Somewhere in my postpartum journey, I realised I had to start figuring myself out again: my postpartum identity, my postpartum body, even my postpartum style.

Cutting my hair was something I never would have dared to do before. But motherhood gave me more courage, more perspective, and more joy in trying things, even when they’re outside my comfort zone or not by the book.

So this bob haircut is more of a symbol. Of trying. Of figuring yourself out, one change at a time.

The only downside? Now I hate it when it starts growing out, so I’m committed to a trim every 3 months. 😅

#mumlife #postpartumstyle #bobeffect #postpartumbody #postpartumjourney by @elenpinsky

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7 days ago

Social media saw us co-sleeping with our sick toddler. Are we too quick to judge dads?

Here’s what a 7 second clip doesn’t show you about the maternal brain, partnership, and tough nights:

1. Parenting isn’t 50/50 in every single moment. Equity isn’t both parents doing the exact same task simultaneously. Sometimes one sleeps so the other can tap out when they hit a wall.

2. The maternal brain is real. Brain imaging shows mothers’ brains stay tuned to their baby’s sounds even during sleep - we often wake before our partners even register a stir.

3. The internet is primed to villainise dads. We rightfully talk about the mental load on mums - but reducing a father’s contribution to a snapshot doesn’t help push for the change we actually need.
Paid parental leave.
Carer’s leave during daycare sickness.
Real structural support for families, which ultimately supports mothers too.

He spent the rest of that night changing sheets and tracking her fever at 3am.

How does your partnership balance the tough nights? 👇

#realmotherhood #cosleeping #sicktoddler #mombrain #relationshipafterbaby by @elenpinsky

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22 days ago

Every parent has tried to reverse-engineer the perfect baby bedtime routine to get their baby to sleep through the night.

While we all want a good night of sleep, the pressure around baby sleep is real and it’s the first question every parent gets asked: “is your baby sleeping through the night?”

One night that baby bedtime routine formula works, the next, it doesn’t.

At least @baby.bunting got your bedtime sorted, so it’s comfortable and fun for all of you - sleeping through or not.

The moment I let go of chasing a perfect bedtime, perfect baby sleep, I found myself more relaxed. There’s no formula that guarantees your baby will sleep through the night. You’re not failing anything.

Get bedtime ready at Baby Bunting 🌙
(link in stories)

@baby.bunting #BabyBuntingAU #BabyBuntingAUPartner #ad #Paidpartnership #BabySleep by @elenpinsky

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24 days ago

Wondering why your one year old already has tantrums - even though everyone says “toddler tantrums” start later?

Developmental psychology has an example.

This is the Shopping Cart Study:

1️⃣ Toddlers are asked to push a cart toward their parent. But their own body is standing on the mat attached to it - blocking the very thing they’re trying to do.

2️⃣ He doesn’t know why. He’s meeting the limits of his own body for the first time.

3️⃣ That’s why things that seem trivial to us - standing on their own blanket while trying to pull it, or sitting on the toy they’re reaching for - can set them off so fast. They can’t yet mentally step around a problem the way we can, especially when their own body is the obstacle.

4️⃣ So toddler tantrums are not a result of bad parenting, a failed boundary, or “manipulation.”

Once you see the developmental psychology behind it, it stops feeling like a battle and you start having more capacity to deal with it.

#toddlertantrums #babycrying #developmentalpsychology #parentingstruggles #toddlerdevelopment by @elenpinsky

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a month ago

No one warns you about the moment toddler tantrums seem to come out of nowhere.

Around 18 months, independence grows.
And so does the protest.

Car seats. Getting dressed. Taking medicine. Suddenly it’s a full body fight. 🤯😵‍💫

But this is NORMAL.
It’s brain development.
Toddlers are discovering control for the first time. Their nervous system just doesn’t have the tools yet to manage that big feeling. 🔧

Start the communication EARLY.
Before they can say a word back. ⤵️

I started counting from the early days before every loud noise.
Long before she understood a single word.
knowing babies are only born with two innate fears:

🔊 Loud noise
🫣 Falling

Everything else is learned.

So a simple warning before something loud or unexpected isn’t just soothing. It’s teaching their brain how to handle the unexpected.

It became our language for “something is coming.”

Two years later, same tool. Now it gets us through toddler tantrums around medicine, car seats, and getting dressed.

One of the best toddler tips out there: count before something hard or uncomfortable happens.

Not to distract. Not to bribe.
Just to signal predictability. Safety. Control.

Because predictability is one of the fastest ways to calm toddler tantrums before they escalate.

@dyson_anz

#toddlertantrums #toddlertips #̭parentingtips #babybraindevelopment #motherhoodstruggles by @elenpinsky

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a month ago

Motherhood can be really overwhelming when we are exposed daily to baby sleep tips, night routines that feel like math formulas and 12 hour sleeping babies that were just put into their cot and fell asleep independently.

If you have been told that rocking to sleep creates dependency, nursing to sleep or any form of sleep support, or that it is the reason your baby wakes at night, please hear this clearly.

Movement is deeply biological. For nine months your baby was rocked every single time you moved, breathed, laughed, so it makes complete sense that movement still feels like home once they arrive.

And can we also just say this out loud. Rocking to sleep can be genuinely exhausting. Your arms ache, your back hurts, and some nights it feels like your body has nothing left to give. That frustration is real and it deserves space too.

Around the world, mothers have rocked, swayed, worn and settled their babies to sleep for as long as babies have existed. Rocking to sleep is not a modern shortcut, it is one of the oldest and most instinctive parts of baby sleep across cultures and generations.

It is only in recent decades, largely through the baby sleep industry, that this became something to fix rather than something to trust. You do not need to sleep train your way out of a need that is completely normal.

Were you ever told that you create a bad habit/ dependent baby?

Footage credit
1️⃣ @janetc_l
2️⃣ @aricoyote

#babysleep #rockingtosleep #sleeptraining #postpartumsupport #babytips by @elenpinsky

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a month ago

Social media isn’t real life.
Real motherhood - the unfiltered version in the current cost of living…is a lot harder than what you’re seeing online.

I’ve been scrolling and I keep seeing new outfits, new hauls, new everything. And I know I’m not the only one who starts to feel behind. Like somehow everyone else has it figured out and you’re the only one wearing the same pair of boots you bought before you got pregnant. 😅

So I just want to remind you this is NORMAL.

A postpartum body that changed.
A wardrobe that doesn’t fit it.
A budget that doesn’t stretch to fix either.
A child to raise.
A mortgage to pay. Daycare fees that make your eyes water. 😭

This is real motherhood. And it's beautiful.
Don’t measure your motherhood, postpartum journey or accomplishments by what you see on a screen.

The outfit: @tonybianco boots I got 3 years ago, @stagnistudio top I purchased with a gift card and @levis_anz jeans I had for years. Soooo….yeah, real life.

#realmumlife #postpartumstyle #postpartumjourney #costofliving #realmotherhood by @elenpinsky

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2 months ago