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Ellie Rose Huckle

@ellierosehuckle

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29 - T1D - North London ✨

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Mama,

I can’t believe it’s been three years.

I’d give anything to see you again, to hold your hand, to laugh with you, to hug you. You were my home, my best friend, and my whole heart. You still are. I’ll never recover from losing you, and it hurts so terribly being on this earth without you.

I hate how far away we are from you now, but it still feels like yesterday.

You were the brightest light. The world feels so much darker without you. I didn’t know how I’d survive three minutes, let alone three years. My heart hurts just as much today as it did the day you died.

I’ll always remember how that little robin stayed so close in those final weeks. We never saw it again after you died. I like to believe it was there to guide you somewhere beautiful.

I am so proud to be your daughter. I can’t convey just how incredible you are. What a privilege it is to be yours, to be loved by you, and to love you. I ask you for strength every single day, and I look for you in everything.

The pain grows, but so does the love. Grief really is all the love with nowhere to go. It doesn’t get easier; life just grows around it. The last three years have taught me that two things can be true at once: missing someone deeply and still finding moments of joy doesn’t diminish the loss.

I miss you in the quiet moments, the happy moments, the sad moments, in the laughter, in the tears, in every part of life.

You breathed so much life into your years. I feel robbed that you didn’t get more. You deserved more. You should be here. But what a legacy you left behind. You were a pillar of strength, a fierce advocate, a voice of reason, a kind heart, the sunlight in every room. To know you was to love you.

I could write about you forever. You knew how loved you were, and you still are.

I can’t hold your hand anymore, and it hurts like hell, but I carry your love and your strength with me always. As long as there’s breath in my lungs, I’ll never stop talking about you, loving you, and missing you.

I miss you forever, and I love you endlessly mama.

You’re always with me. 🤍 by @ellierosehuckle

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4 months ago

🥁*INFORMATION*🥁

💥Tickets for THE #t1diabetes day of the year (Well- at least according to me!) is here!!

💥It's time for #tad2026

☀️A day of those living with #t1d - hearing about lives, stories and an occasion to appreciate the value of peer support

🎉Do register- and best of luck for the draw regards the tickets

🎯Spread the word- and hope to see some of you...there! 🥰

Come & be part of a magical day 💙

Link (cut and paste on to your browser to access):

https://forms.office.com/pages/responsepage.aspx?id=DQSIkWdsW0yxEjajBLZtrQAAAAAAAAAAAAO__dOxKv5UNkNRTE1KRkxDUFFSNTkzNDc4VTFSTUdZMS4u&route=shorturl by @ellierosehuckle

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8 months ago

Documenting another rare makeup moment by @ellierosehuckle

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a year ago

🍁 hi by @ellierosehuckle

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a year ago

Two years without you. There is an ache so deep in my chest every single day. My heart calls for you all the time. My heart hurts just as much as the day you died. You were so perfect mama. I'll never recover from losing you, I'll never forget that night, and I'm so haunted by the weeks leading up to it. You deserved the world. You were everything that's good in the world and it is all so so dark now. You were and are the queen of my heart, I haven't got the words to express just how much I love you - my best friend, my rock. I don't know how my heart is still beating without you. Some days I feel like it could just stop from how hard I sob. It is and forever will be shattered. I need you, I miss you beyond measure. I'd do anything to see you again, to speak to you, to hold your warm hands, to laugh with you again, to hug you. Life is so unfair. I miss you more with each passing day. by @ellierosehuckle

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a year ago

Figured I'd add to the tl x by @ellierosehuckle

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2 years ago

Our expressive little girl 😌💛 by @ellierosehuckle

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2 years ago

Could have done with some lipgloss but whatever x by @ellierosehuckle

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2 years ago

A golden hour moment/squint 👀😌😂🌞 by @ellierosehuckle

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2 years ago

27 💫💖 (Our actual birthday was the 18th but it was a birthday weekend 😌😂) by @ellierosehuckle

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2 years ago

I can't believe it's been a year, mama. This grief is still so heavy, this grief is forever. There's a stillness in the air, similar to this day last year. It's eerie, and I feel empty...and homesick. I miss you with every fibre of my being.

Words can't convey just how incredible you were. Kind, funny, loving, smart, brave, wise, beautiful - the list goes on.

I don't understand how I'm still breathing. I always told mama my heart beats for her, when hers stopped I don't know how mine carried on. She was and still is the light of my life. I cannot express just how much I love her. And I am so glad she never doubted our love for her.

This past year has been a true nightmare. Living out my worst fear - being in this world without my mama. It's so beyond unfair. She was our guiding light, our mama bear, she loved Rob, Lauren & I fearlessly. We carry her love with us always, but it hurts so much that the woman who gave us life is no longer here.

She deserved to stay. She deserved the world & she deserved a hell of a lot more than she got. Mama made the most out of every single moment, and she wanted to live, to really live. She breathed life into everything. She lit up every single room.

Oh mama, I need you. I just can't believe it all. How quickly it all happened. You were so precious. Truly an angel on earth. I miss your beautiful laugh, the way you'd do really cute things like scoop mashed potato out with an ice cream scoop because you loved the little mounds.

Our love, our bond, is forever. Nothing can come between that. But my God I'd do anything to bring her back. My heart hurts every second of every day. No matter how old you get, you will always need your mama.

Life doesn't feel real anymore, or the same. I don't know how we've managed to get through this last year but what I do know is that I look to mama for the strength to carry on, I know she didn't raise us to let her death destroy us even if it feels like it has.

To know my mama was to love her, she was and is loved immeasurably. Our precious memories will keep her alive in our hearts, and her legacy will live on in us forever. We will always carry the love she gave us.💔❤️ by @ellierosehuckle

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2 years ago

Thought I'd put this on the grid by @ellierosehuckle

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3 years ago