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Gara Steinfeld | betrayal trauma & complex trauma therapist

@gara_steinfeld

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Specializing in betrayal trauma, complex trauma & sex addiction.
Restoring wholeness, aliveness & deep relational healing ✨

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I’m excited and honored that therapist Arielle Lazar will be joining me in this next endeavor—not as part of a traditional group practice, but as a collaborative duo.

I will continue working with clients healing from complex, relational and attachment trauma, as well as a small number of clients recovering from sex addiction—because, well, I love what I love.

At the same time, I’ll be devoting more of my energy to creative endeavors and developing new offerings specifically tailored to women healing from betrayal trauma.

💙 by @gara_steinfeld

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Betrayal trauma can make relational discomfort feel almost unbearable.

You set a boundary and then feel anxious when they’re upset. You speak your truth and immediately want to soften it. You say no and then feel responsible for making everything okay again.

Healing is learning that you can love someone, care about the relationship, and still stay connected to yourself when things feel uncomfortable.

You don’t have to abandon yourself to restore connection.

You're braver than you know. taken in Boca Raton, Florida by @gara_steinfeld

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Let’s send some love to the part of you that’s trying so hard to safeguard you from ever being betrayed again.

You make so much sense.

Accepting that healing isn’t about becoming a human lie detector doesn’t mean ignoring your intuition. These truths can exist together.

You can honor your intuition, pay attention to what matters, speak up when something feels off, and set healthy boundaries—while also letting go of the impossible job of trying to guarantee you’ll never be hurt again.

Both can be true. 🤍 taken in Boca Raton, Florida by @gara_steinfeld

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Waiting for the truth can feel unbearable.

When you’ve been betrayed, your nervous system wants answers now. It wants to make sense of your reality. It wants to know what was real, what wasn’t, and whether there are still more shoes left to drop.

Waiting can feel like torture.

But the truth is, someone who has just betrayed you is often not yet capable of giving you the full truth. Not because waiting is fair. Not because your pain doesn’t matter. But because honesty requires work. It requires accountability, self-confrontation, and the willingness to tolerate the consequences of telling the truth.

Without that work, you’re often left with more half-truths, omissions, defensiveness, minimization, and manipulation. And every new version of the story becomes another trust-breaking experience.

As impossible as it can feel, waiting can protect you from being retraumatized.

Because when someone has done the work to become honest with themselves, they’re far more capable of being honest with you.

And when the truth is finally shared, it has the potential to become something different—not another wound, but the beginning of trust-building. A moment where words and reality finally match.

You deserve the truth. But you also deserve a truth that is complete enough to help you heal, rather than another version that leaves you questioning your reality all over again. taken in Boca Raton, Florida by @gara_steinfeld

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3 months ago

Trust isn't given because time has passed. It's rebuilt through shared experiences over time 💙 by @gara_steinfeld

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4 months ago

It makes so much sense to want empathy from the person who hurt you.
In many ways, it's one of the most natural attachment needs there is.
And while I want that empathy for you too, healing does not have to wait for it.
We don't have to wait to be fully understood in order to begin healing. 💙 by @gara_steinfeld

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5 months ago

💛 by @gara_steinfeld

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5 months ago

While understanding someone’s trauma, attachment wounds, addiction, avoidance, shame, or coping mechanisms may eventually provide context, it does not erase the impact. It does not make the pain less real. And it does not mean you deserved it.
Part of healing is often slowly making space for complexity 💙 by @gara_steinfeld

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5 months ago

Because beach photo shoots are more fun than professional headshots 😎 by @gara_steinfeld

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5 months ago

What has helped you grow your capacity? 💛 by @gara_steinfeld

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5 months ago

✨ by @gara_steinfeld

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5 months ago

What are unexpected gifts of your healing? 💙🌺 by @gara_steinfeld

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