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Going with Grace

@going_with_grace

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Death Doula Training & End of Life Planning Organization
@alualoveslife | GwG Founder, NYT Bestselling Author
#deathpositive #deathdoula 🤸🏿‍♀️💜💫

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Henceforth, I will only be responding to Alua Arthur, New York Times Bestselling Author, because my book, Briefly Perfectly Human, made it to the New York Times Best Seller List in TWO CATEGORIES! Say what?!? 💫🙏🏿💜

Number 7 in Hardcover Nonfiction and number 8 in Combined Print & E-Book Nonfiction! Woweee.

I am gobsmacked. I am geeked. And like the kids say, I am GAGGED. I am not surprised because I don’t think that people want to talk about their mortality - I’ve been knowing that. But rather, I’m surprised by how deeply some of you seem to be taking the invitation into your own lives as a result of reading this book and engaging with your mortality.

That will never get old to me. That will never be taken for granted by me. It is an utter privilege for us to sit and think about our mortality because many people don’t get that option. And you do. And you’re using it wisely. AND THAT is all a humble death doula like me can ask for.

I thank you. I thank you for your continued support. I thank you on behalf of the people that are going to be around you in your dying. I thank you on behalf of all the people that you’re going to be able to support in their dying. I thank you on behalf of all that people that you’re going to be able to sit with in their grief. Just by engaging with the book and my story.

It’ll never get old. Thank you will NEVER suffice but it’s all I got. So, thank you.

And if you’re in Seattle, come meet me tonight at 7:30pm at @townhall_seattle and let’s talk about death! And life! And being weirdo briefly perfect humans! 🤸🏿‍♀️💜🎉

#brieflyperfectlyhuman #newyorktimesbestseller #newyorktimesbestsellingauthor #memoir @nytimes @harpercollins by @going_with_grace

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2 years ago

I’m still in awe that other people want to hear about death. It makes clear sense to me cause I’m a death doula and can talk about death all day. But for those who haven’t spent much time considering their mortality, it can be confronting.

Enter @ted . Imagine my surprise when I got invited to the Mainstage to share what was most pressing on my heart about how we die. We filmed it in April at the annual TED conference and today it’s out!

I hope that it inspires you to live a life you feel comfortable dying from. And I also hope that if it resonates with you in any way, you’ll share it. I’d love to hear what tickled you. Let’s get everyone talking about their deaths. ✨💜💀

Super special thanks to @coreyhajim for doula-ing me through this process and for the countless pep talks, and to the entire TED team for leading me right back to myself. Thanks to Alexander McQueen for this skirt I’d be happy being buried in–rest easy.

And thank you to all of you briefly, perfectly humans for your support over the years and for believing that every human can live in relationship to their death, even when it surprises me. 💫💜🙌🏿 by @going_with_grace

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3 years ago

Interested in becoming a death doula?

Going with Grace is currently accepting applications for its online training program and 2026 in-person retreats, creating compassionate, contemporary and conscious death doulas and end of life planners!

We have trained 3000+ deaths doulas from 55 countries thus far and the movement is rapidly growing. If you're interested head over to our website www.goingwithgrace.com for more info.

Death waits for no human. Lets shift the way we die. 💫💜⏳

2026 Online Death Doula Training
💜 Round 33 - Beginning January 17
💜 Round 34 - Beginning April 25
💜 Round 35 - Beginning July 11
💜 Round 36 - Beginning August 22

2026 In-Person Death Doula Retreats
✨R11 - Albuquerque, NM / March
✨R12 - Pembroke, VA / June
✨R13 - Nashville, TN / August
✨R14 - Manhattan Beach, CA / October by @going_with_grace

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7 years ago

This week marks the beginning of fall y’all! As the air shifts and the days and nights meet in balance up here in the northern hempishere, nature offers us a gentle reminder: notice what is ending, and let it go boo. Grieve it too. 💜

When the leaves change, they release what they’ve been holding onto, revealing vibrance before floating away to create the conditions for what comes next. As I observe all that is dying around me in the natural world, I am reminded that change doesn’t have to be something to resist, but instead which holds pure potential. And it might be beautiful, colorful, and shift me into the next version of who I am—one version closer to the one I will meet on my deathbed.

What are you releasing to make space to birth new life?What are you grieving as you make space for the new? What are you ready to let die as you continue to evolve?

Maybe it’s a limiting belief about who you are or what you’re capable of. Maybe it’s the fear of being seen in your own potential. Maybe it’s the belief that you have to have everything figured out before you begin. Maybe it’s perfectionism. (HELLO!) Comparison. Self-doubt. Maybe it’s the habit of staying quiet instead of communicating your needs—or the feeling that having needs at all makes you difficult, burdensome, or needy. And YES your feelings are valid.
 In this new season, I invite you to ask yourself whether the beliefs and patterns you’re carrying still fit in the life you’re creating. In my experience, the evolution has been less about becoming someone new and more about releasing the parts of ourselves that keep us from fully becoming who we already are.

If that becoming is leading you deeper into deathwork, we would love to welcome you into the GwG community. 💜💀

Enrollment is now open for:
✨January 2027 Online Death Doula Training with @alualoveslife and @passingwithpeace
✨January 2027 EVOLVE Death Doula Business Mentorship Program with @alualoveslife and @elizbth.erbrecht_lmt_eold
✨2027 In-person Death Doula Training Retreats with the GwG team

May this season offer each of us the space to honor where we are, release what we are ready to let go of, and trust in what’s evolving. 💫🍁 by @going_with_grace

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8 days ago

One of my very best friends, a gentle giant of a human, Richard Frank, died seven weeks ago. 🤍

Grief has been moving through me in some surprising ways, and they’re surprising to me because I don’t know myself to grieve like this. So I’m sharing this with you in hopes that it offers some support to you.

For some context, Richard was sick, and yet his death was sudden. We were texting one morning, and our conversation ended very naturally. I texted him the following morning about a trip I was going to take soon to visit him, and he didn’t respond. I texted him again. He didn’t respond. I FaceTimed him. He didn’t respond. And spoiler alert. It’s because he died.

Since his death, my beloveds have a tiny window of time to text me back before I start to worry and spin out that they have also died.

Two things about this are important.

Number one, I’ve worked as a death doula and educator for 12 years and have been in the depths of this work for a long time. AND there are no tips or tricks or shortcuts to make it any easier just because I’m familiar with it. I have context and language for my experience. I can witness myself in my experience. And yet, I’m still very much in my experience. There’s no easy way through. We just gotta be in it.

Number two, I don’t know myself as an anxious person, and yet, this is anxiety. And anxiety and grief are surprisingly common. So much so that my homegirl @clairebidwellsmith has written a book about it called Anxiety, The Missing Stage of Grief.

If this is your experience, grant yourself some grace and get the book. If this is not your experience, count your lucky stars. Although grief is probably moving through you in some surprising ways as well.

Thank you for giving me a couple minutes of your life to think about the end of it and text your people back. 💜 by @going_with_grace

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9 days ago

Have you ever considered that preparing for death could be a radical act of self care? 💜🙌🏿

I recently got back from the desert, where I got to engage in a shared decades long ritual of self care with my homegirl. Laughter, snacks, naps, checking in about our parents’ health and our relationships, not changing out of our @fabletics sweats, eating just because cake, and—hopefully it’s no surprise to y’all here—sharing our latest considerations about our inevitable deaths. 💀

So how could contemplating and preparing for your death support you in your own self care? How might it help you live more fully in the present—with less fear, more clarity, and a deeper sense of alignment? And what might shift if you began that preparation now?

Let’s explore together! These explorations live right alongside all the other ways we intentionally deepen our connection to ourselves and our truths. And may even be the one that brings meaning to all the rest of our self care.

If you’re ready to ponder these questions in a supportive, guided space, join me for my next End of Life Planning workshop this Saturday, September 19. We’ll slow down, reflect deeply, and take meaningful steps toward living a life you’d feel comfortable dying from.

Ps. Bring your people along for the ride! We’ve got a double enrollment option and they are gonna die too. 🤸🏿‍♀️💃🏿 by @going_with_grace

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19 days ago

If all you did today was be with yourself in your grief, you did A LOT. Sending big love and continued softness to anyone needing it. You are not alone. 🙏🏿💜

“When our hearts break open, our capacity for transformation becomes infinite…

Maybe when we let some of our grief out, it becomes a little softer. Maybe softened grief is just collective compassion.”

@femme.themme by @going_with_grace

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22 days ago

When is the time to call a death doula?⁠ Now.⁠
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Not when the final days arrive. Not when medicine has reached its limits.⁠

Now—when questions about meaning, comfort, and choice begin to surface. When families start to sense change but don’t yet have the words to name it.⁠
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A death doula’s work bridges the space between treatment and transition. They help people prepare practically and emotionally—guiding conversations about wishes, legacy, and presence long before the final moments.⁠
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Because early support isn’t a sign of giving up. It’s an act of care. It allows families to move through what’s ahead with calm, understanding, and connection.⁠
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In episode one of @beforewegopodcast Before We Go, we explore why the best time to call a death doula is before the end—and how that choice can bring peace not only to dying, but to living. by @going_with_grace

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I’m continually in awe of how many people are drawn to this work—ready to support others through death, redefine care, and change the way we live and die. And the impact we’re witnessing out in the world? It’s nothing short of profound. 💫💜💀

Over 3,500 students from 58+ countries and ALL 50 states (WHAT?!) have joined our death doula training, answering a collective calling to create a world where death literacy isn’t rare—it’s foundational. My hope, though, is that one day, we won’t need this program at all. That we’ll reach a point where every person has the insights, tools, and skills to approach mortality—both their own and others’—with grace, support and presence.

Imagine how different our world would be if we all had the knowledge, practical skills, and emotional capacity to honor death as a natural part of life. Societies that revere death cannot sustain injustice. It’s simply not possible. When we can show up fully and honor someone else’s fullness—no matter their identity, where they come from, what their views are, or how they differ from us—that is a radical act. It’s something we don’t often get the chance to do in our society, but it’s one of the most powerful gifts we can give.

Are you ready to heed the call? Join us! 🤸🏿‍♀️💜

In-Person 2027 Death Doula Training Retreat are now accepting applications:
✨ Retreat 15: March 10-14 / Manhattan Beach, CA
✨ Retreat 16: July 28-August 1 / Nashville, TN
✨ Retreat 17: Fall 2027 / TBD

Let’s shift the way we live and die. Apply today at our website www.goingwithgrace.com 💜 by @going_with_grace

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2 months ago

Its been about a year since my beloved and I participated in the oxytocin soaked death, meditation ritual that we commonly call a wedding ceremony!

Wedding ceremonies are so deathy. In the ceremony itself you’re at a threshold dying to the old single self and being born into the new married self. When you signed the certificate, it inherently creates legal implications for your death. Also the ceremonial words have death all in it. Till death do us part!! Most cultures in the world intend the wedding ceremony to create a lifelong partnership that ends at death and also have big elements of death within them.

During our ceremony I looked at my love’s delicious face hoping I get to hold it as he dies. I also imagined the possibility of getting to look into his sweet twinkly mischievous eyes with smile lines that reach for the sun, and eyes that look at me like I am full of wonder, magic, and delight as the last sight I see. Wow. I’m still in the oxytocin sea. Happy anniversary my love! And congratulations to my cousin @tinatenaansah and my sister @badassboz as they embark on their oxytocin death meditation rituals this month!! Death meditations for everyone!!

If you are married and had a ceremony, 1
was this your experience of it?? Or am I one track deathy minded?? by @going_with_grace

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2 months ago

“Death is inevitable. All of us will die, sooner or later.”

It sounds intense, but this exercise isn’t about being morbid, it’s about waking up. In the rush of modern life, we spend so much energy trying to maintain our “main character” energy that we forget the one truth that connects every single human being on this planet: our time is finite.

By being with the reality of our own end, we stop living for the next milestone and start living for the present. When you realize that everything you have, your possessions, your status, your “to-do” list, can’t follow you, you’re left with the only thing that matters: being here, right now.

You are very much alive. Your body is functioning. You have a chance to show up today. Don’t waste it. @futurific @alualoveslife by @going_with_grace

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2 months ago

One of the most asked questions I receive is “What should I say to my grieving friend?”

The short answer...there’s no “right” thing to say. Language is imperfect and the grieving process is individual.

Sometimes the best thing you can do is offer the gift of your presence if they want your company. And other times the acknowledgment that the situation is really fucking shitty will show love.

Was there something particularly useful someone said to you while you were deep in grief? 💜 by @going_with_grace

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2 months ago