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Helmi

@jakkisdiary

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followers

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ten billion percent
i produce pop: @thatjakki
but do dnb too : @heyimout
and somedays i do techno: @thatkoosh

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my eyes scare me sometimes by @jakkisdiary

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7 days ago

fav song as a kid by @jakkisdiary

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16 days ago

Early on in to my journey people brought up a lot of questions. One question that stood out to me was what kind of a woman I want to become. And I understand, it might create certain kinds of assumptions when a previously very masculine presenting man suddenly stands right in front of you saying they're a woman now. It's natural to expect a change towards something, I mean that's what transition as a term implies! While I acknowledge these assumptions aren't ill-intended, they still caused a headache.

It's clear that society has sold us an idea of what a perfect man and what a perfect woman should be. Those fictional rules in a fictional rulebook guide us in to becoming this one seemingly perfect character who everyone should aspire to be. Maybe this isn't news to you — it must be a tiring mantra already — but it's ever so relevant in today's world.

I like to think that our identity is divided in to two parts: the one that is the fundamental core and the other one is what you're presenting as. The latter one can be as fluid as you want and you can be your very own Michelangelo: mold and shape yourself as you wish! And oh my, I've been a very active with the chisel and went through so many phases during my time in here. I've been a soft boy, a fit boy, a soft girl and a fit girl. Goes to show that it's easy to change your presentation, even when the change is drastic. But the fundamental core is interesting as it's irreplaceable and static. It's where things like sexuality lie and we just can't change that no matter how much we try. To change your core, to stop existing — same thing.

Sometimes these two parts don't go hand in hand and that becomes with a list of symptoms. One of these symptoms is the headache. I used to be a very masculine guy, but deep down I've been fundamentally female since I came from the womb. No amount of masculine presentation ever changed who I was. Not even the male mark on my birth certificate could. All I ever needed was my physical traits and hormone levels to match my womanhood but due to the magic of medicine, now they do.

And now we itch the headache:

What kind of a woman I want to become? by @jakkisdiary

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a month ago

hmm. by @jakkisdiary

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2 months ago

ghostly stuff by @jakkisdiary

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2 months ago

He left all of his clothes when he left. I think it's okay to borrow them... by @jakkisdiary

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2 months ago

he protects me if i'm in danger by @jakkisdiary

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4 months ago

he sometimes talks to me by @jakkisdiary

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4 months ago

Third entry in my diary, MAGPIE KILLA, is outttt NOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWW (link on bio) by @jakkisdiary

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7 months ago

what in the everflipping WOOOOOO is goinnng onnnnn cus Jakki just uploaded a MUSIC VIDEO???? WHAAAAT????? The link is in (you guessed it) on my bio!!! by @jakkisdiary

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7 months ago

w-who is that? Well, it's the queen of the jungle woooooo its out NOW go listen pls link on bio xoxo by @jakkisdiary

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8 months ago

hide in the vines cus the queen of the jungle is here! This is the second entry in "lovely diary ep xoxo", link is on my bio luv u bye :3 by @jakkisdiary

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8 months ago