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Jamie Pace

@jamiepace1

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Husband,Father,Friend,Forgiven

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Time
How time travels to and from leaving us wondering how so much of it has passed us by. I sit this afternoon thinking about life and how much of it has slipped past me and how this young man is already 5 years old. He has been like a potter and myself the discarded clay left over from many breaks and cracks from along life's way. He has filled holes in my life that I thought could not be filled, smoothing out a lot of ruff edges that time and circumstances have left in his papa. His birthdays always hit me just a little bit differently as I never got to experience Cjs birthdays for what they truly meant for. A lot of stolen 1st, never to be experienced. But today I am Forever grateful and proud of the man he will grow into one day. And I can only hope that memories from times gone by with his papa will flood his mind from time to time. Remembering just how much his papa loved him. Happy birthday I love you always and forever ❤️ by @jamiepace1

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3

a month ago

How the time passes to and from waiting for no one its only job is to move forward stopping at nothing. Cj turned 26 just a few months ago and in the time I have come to realize that

-26 years, my eyes cannot hold back the joy

-26 years my heart can no longer hide the hurt and scars of years of trauma often self-inflicted with wars fought not on foreign soil but in my grieving heart

-26 years have come and gone

-26 years of blessings

-26 years, no greater love have I experienced from another human being

-26 years and I still don't have it, all figured out

-26 years and I am still consumed with the what's next in life

-26 years and he is still my best friend

-26 years and every year after we hold on to like it's our last. My life is his life he lives in me and I in him. Time is fading away with every passing second, your tomorrow may never see the light of day. Let go of the things keeping you from being something more for someone else, that may not be able to be that for themselves. It is my hope and dream to leave this world better than I found it, to make sure with every opportunity I am given, I don't waste it because too whom much is given, much is required. In the 26 years I have been called father, I am more convinced that there is no greater calling or job God has placed on earth than being a dad.

fathersonjurney.blogspot.com/?m=1

#HopeForMPS #MPSAwareness #ThisIsMySon #Mps1 by @jamiepace1

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7

4 months ago

I often wonder what dreams travel to and from while he sleeps.

Are they dreams of brighter days…

Or maybe a conversation with God — with lips unbound?

Even when he is awake, I sometimes catch him staring up to heaven,

With nothing but stillness in the air.

All while I try to put the pieces of this puzzle we call life together,

All I can do is stop…

Gaze into his eyes…

And try to slow down and see the world from his view.

I wonder if he can see his seat at the table-

The one that was prepared just for him-

The one he will one day walk to

With legs that are no longer bound by earthly troubles.

I do not pretend to know all the answers,

Nor do I ever say this life he lives is a glamorous one. Because the one he lives is not for the faint of heart.

But the daily lessons he gives me…

I hold onto them tightly.

Because one day those lessons will be all that I have and They will light my path on days when darkness fills my life I cannot see the way.

He is my light in a dark world.

He is my son.

My greatest accomplishment.

My best friend.

My everything.

💜

fathersonjurney.blogspot.com/?m=1

#HopeForMPS #MPSAwareness #ThisIsMySon #ItStartsWithMe #TheBestIsYetToCome MPS1 by @jamiepace1

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5 months ago

The more time I spend with CJ the more I understand that I have never been worthy to stand in his presence! To know a love this side of heaven that is not given based on what can be gained from a situation but solely for what love was created and intended for in the first place to be shared open and freely without an agenda or the fear of repercussions.
fathersonjurney.blogspot.com/?m=1
#ThisIsMySon #OnlyOneLifeToLive #Cp #ItStartsWithMe #TheBestIsYetToCome, Mps1 GodsNotDoneWithUsYet SpecialNeedsDad by @jamiepace1

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10

5 months ago

On your birthday
When I think back to that first time I held CJ in my arms. I had looked into that face for the first time in awe of what God had presented to me. I had trembled with the thought that I was now a father.

Over the past 26 years you have endured pain, hardships, challenges, and trials that we never imagined or dreamed you would face.

Many are the nights I have wrestled with God. Many are the days I have questioned, pleaded, begged, and implored God to change your circumstances.

I have so often felt clueless, helpless, and hopelessly inadequate as your Dad. I have wandered the caves of unbelief, doubt, and despair searching for meaning and understanding that I never found..

The pain and anxiety in my life are the result of my unwillingness to surrender my dreams, desires, and plans to the will of God whoes plans for my son’s life are so different from mine.

Faith is accepting that God’s will may not always align with my will.

You see, Deliverance hasn’t come from our circumstances. But God doesn’t need CJ to beat the odds in order to prove his goodness, faithfulness, power, and salvation. Our weakness is precisely what he is using to show his power and presence. So today, we thank God for allowing us to see 26 years. And this year like all years in the past, the only wish we ask for is one more year. Physical impairments one day will be a thing of the past. CJ has a seat at the table that was prepared for him long before he ever took his first breath. Where one day, he will walk to take a seat and speak with a tongue that is not bound. He will eat with his own two hands. And give thanks to the one that has set us free. So in the meantime, I am going to continue to be his hands and feet, speak the words that need to be said, feed, and bathe him. And be thankful God gave me such an amazing example of what a strong man really looks like. You may never know or be able to understand this side of eternity how much your dad loves you CJ, but I could not have been any more proud of you than I am today. Happy Birthday J-man from a father that has gotten way more from you than I could have ever given in return.

fathersonjurney.blogspot.com/?m=1 by @jamiepace1

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6 months ago

My Joy His Pain

In the midst of all of the blessings, I have had in my life. There is a voice that reminds me that my gain goes hand and hand with his loss. That some of the greatest victories of my soul came with a price paid by my own son! I don't think I would be who I am today if it had not been for the road we have traveled. From extreme happiness to devastating sadness. Nights spent in tears just to bring smiles in the morning. From everything's going to be ok too, the world has fallen apart. The heaviness of it all forces me to my knees, and I find the answer –- the mystery of the answer — at the foot of the cross, and I wonder if (God) asks Himself the same question.

"Could the blessings of a Father have been found without the sacrifice of his Son"?

Many nights I begged God to give me your pain, your struggles, Many nights I asked him to take everything you have that is a challenge to you and to give it to me instead. God chose a higher purpose for your life.

I am sure many times that I might have failed you as your dad. But know this Cj. Not one time have you ever failed me as a son. There is nothing you could have done, or ever could do, that will make me love you more than I already love you. I never became the dad I wanted to become. But I like to think that because of my son, I’m becoming the dad God intended me to be. My son’s life has become my greatest gift. At the end of the day, God gets the glory and we get the joy. This is how I know that the best is yet to come.

fathersonjurney.blogspot.com/?m=1

#HopeForMPS #MPSAwareness #ThisIsMySon #Mps1, #SpecialNeedsDad by @jamiepace1

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5

6 months ago

When you stand in the shadow of the cross, it puts everyone on equal ground, and you realize that you are fearfully and wonderfully made, on purpose, for a purpose, with a purpose despite what the world tries to label you with when it comes to your abilities and inabilities your past and your future. CJ will be 26 in less than a month and at times I thought I would never have the opportunity to see him this far along in life I think God for the shadows and putting us all on equal ground. And, turning our failures into favor.

fathersonjurney.blogspot.com/?m=1

#ThisIsMySon #ItStartsWithMe #TheBestIsYetToCome, #Mps1 #Easter2026 by @jamiepace1

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6 months ago

Thanks for all the birthday love you all sent my way yesterday, I thought about you Whether you realize it or not, I often think about you. If we've been friends for years or just met today, chances are I have thought about you. When you receive a random text, a phone call, or a line dropped on FB. Chances are I was thinking about you. When you were sitting crying over your child, grasping for straws at a new diagnosis. Chances are I was crying with you. When the parent or grandparent that has been fighting so hard for so long trying to hang on and you rejoice because they got the call saying all-clear, chances are I was rejoicing with you. When you sit alone in the dark and wonder why you're here on this Earth and think that nobody cares and what's the point. Chances are I was sitting in the dark thinking about you, and how much you mean to me and the people around you. If if you're reading this, it's probably because I'm thinking about you. I'm thinking about you and all the struggles you deal with, I'm thinking about you and how I want so desperately for you to see that there's more to this life than 9 to 5, there's more than a diagnosis, there's more than I can't do it alone, and the best news is I'm not the only one thinking about you, pursuing you, loving you, at times begging you. I don't try to push what I believe down anybody's throat but I do try to live the best that I know-how. I'm not perfect by any means but I am forgiven, by all means, I am who I am today because someone was thinking about me when I needed them. So have I told you that I'm thinking about you, that I beg God for you, that I Rejoice with you, that I cry with you and at times I laugh with you, even if you never know it. Because in lots of ways I'm just like you💜 by @jamiepace1

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7 months ago

Thinking of my son and how I want so much for him. I'd be willing to do anything just see him happy, so many nights I have begged God to take my last breath and give it to him just to see him smile, to hear his laugh, and feel his touch. Life is hard, but it is so so precious, so many people take it for granted love your kids, hug your kids, be there for your kids.
#Grace #ThisIsMySon #OnlyOneLifeToLive #Cp #ItStartsWithMe #TheBestIsYetToCome, #Mps1 by @jamiepace1

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8 months ago

I am blessed by @jamiepace1

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8 months ago

by @jamiepace1

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9 months ago

New Year with the same fears

   New Year's means lots of things. People look at New Year's as a fresh start. To me, it's a reminder of the worse yet eye-opening days of my life. What I'm about to say I have only told very few people. 23 years ago today I stood at the foot of my son's hospital bed as the world seem to stop spinning. Life as I knew it came tumbling down. You see I thought that we had overcome so much. Cj had been doing so well after his transplant just to end up one year later right where we tried so hard to keep him from ending up.

      As everyone else cried and prayed I was filled with anger from the very bottom of my soul. I felt betrayed that my God had abandoned me when I need him the most. How could he do this, how could he let this happen to my son? When he had fought so hard to stay alive. We had to watch so many children pass away right before our eyes during Cj transplant. The cries of the moms and dad's from down the hall as their child slipped into eternity still keeps me awake at night and haunts me to this day.

      I was wrestling with God in disbelief. I did not want any child other than the one I had planned in my mind. I did not want what he had planned but as I have grown to learn is that his plans always prevail. CJ went in and out of cardiac arrest, and they tried over and over to bring him back for over 25 minutes at one point with no heartbeat. At that time the dad that was so angry, and so strong buckled under the weight of it all. As I wept uncontrollably and I begged God to let me have him back. I would take anything he would let me have I would feed him, bathe him, push him, carry him. I was sorry for being selfish I ask God to forgive me and let me have the son he intended for me to have. It was at that very moment that the alarms stopped and the silent Heart came back and the Doctor shouted we got him back.

      I don't think God would have ever sent Cj back to me if I had not given in to my own self-pity. Since that day time has passed and I relive the nightmare/miracle over and over in my head. by @jamiepace1

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10 months ago