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Josh Brady

@joshsquash729

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Neurodiverse Nerd. Actor/Writer. He/Him. Getting weirder every day. Black & Trans lives matter 🏳️‍🌈

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I’m sure this'll get copyright struck into oblivion, but-

In honor of @twentyonepilots ’ Breach tour kicking off last night, I made my first ever video edit for the final song in the lore, City Walls. Been wanting to learn how to edit for a while; it’s a little rough around the edges (I snipped some verses out just to make it easier on myself, and it’s noticeable), but I had fun, and I’m proud of it (but be kind to me anyway).

The saga of Dema, Clancy, & the Torchbearer is one of cycles- falling into them, falling out of them, breaking them. Acknowledging what’s come before- the times you fell or failed, but pushing on through and always- ALWAYS- trying again. Embracing your creativity, your cleverness, & your darker sides and using them as a weapon against those who want to stifle you. Ultimately, YOU are the hero that you need, but when you feel the fire of your fight burning out, there are those willing to ignite it once more and fight alongside you.

As such, I tried to focus on the idea of cycles- the repeating motions/themes sprinkled throughout the videos (while also just trying to make it look cool- it’s always felt like a movie anyway). I noticed a bunch of details, and I’m sure there’s way, way more that I missed. Every detail is fine-tuned in this band, but at the same time, everything is open to interpretation. It’s certainly given me a lot to think about, and it’s taught me even more; for a mind like mine that’s constantly in motion, that really meant a lot.

I’m gonna miss Clancy, Torchbearer, Nico, Ned, Trash, and all the Bishops and Banditos. I’m gonna miss the endless hours of deciphering cryptic messages left by the band just for a nugget of lore that leaves more questions than answers. But just like the story teaches us, the end is just another name for a new beginning, and with every cycle, I’ll gain a little more.

The music was a movement, and I’m grateful for every step. Here’s to what’s behind, and even more, what’s ahead. Whether it’s more lore, or just more deliciously catchy beats, I’m there.

Twenty One Pilots is @tylerrjoseph , @joshuadun , and @reelbearmedia . All music & images belong to them by @joshsquash729

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a year ago

Everyone please wish my bestest buddy Garrus a happy 10th (😭) birthday, or you will have 100 years of bad luck. Sorry, I don’t make the rules. 🤷🏻‍♂️ by @joshsquash729

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4 days ago

If I fits, I sits. Ain’t nothing’s changed but the lines on our faces. by @joshsquash729

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a month ago

September is Suicide Awareness Month

Suicide- both sides of it- has played more of a part in my life than I’d like. It’s an act that defies reason & logic. Sentiments from others mean nothing, but when the voice in your head says something, it’s law. It’s stolen some of my favorite people, and changed the lives of many more

There’s so much I wish I could go back and tell that little boy: that it’ll all be okay. That the love for him is overwhelming, even when he can’t feel it. That the failures bringing him shame are already forgotten by others. That there’s strength in knowing your own body & its feelings. That the things you hate about yourself or made to feel bad about are what set you apart. That all those emotions you feel stupid & strange for are felt by everyone; to share them can help so many

It feels strange to say that such a dark act can bring even the tiniest bit of gratitude, but I’ve learned to appreciate the lessons. Closeness, Understanding, Appreciation. The reminder to never let a day go by where you don’t tell at least one person how much they mean to you. To find joy wherever you can- however small- and never take it for granted

So, since we all need a little reminder now & then: you ARE enough. You ARE beautiful- head to toe. Your efforts ARE good enough. Your “you” - your “muchness”- is wholly unique- a light that only YOU can bring to this world. One that can’t be snuffed by any emotion, however big it may feel. No feeling is forever and nothing you feel is the end-all, be-all

This world is tough, but so are you. You’re here, doing the damn thing. Nobody gets out unscathed, but nobody has to do it alone. You’d be surprised how closely your scars match those around you. Your light may dim from time to time, but darkness only obscures, it doesn’t erase

I won’t always have the words to say, and I know that words don’t often feel like enough, but my ears are always open and I never judge. I am so grateful that you’re here, and I know I’m not alone by @joshsquash729

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a month ago

A gay posting a thirst trap? Shocker. I promise, this isn’t for attention. The thought of people seeing these makes me want to hurl. I recently stepped on the scale & was the heaviest I’ve been in a while. I could make a dozen excuses- new meds, less energy, etc. I know- how shallow, but it brings up old pains

I try to tell my friends how lovely they are. I have attractive, amazing friends (including you!) Recently I heard something along the lines of “You’re quick to compliment others, but you don’t believe the compliments about yourself.” It hit home

We see the curated lives of others & compare ours. Beauty standards now are egregious. If you’re not a chiseled Greek statue you may as well be a hot, gloppy pile o cheese (which I identify as)

I’ve talked ad nauseam how my body was taken from me before I even knew it was mine. Made to do & be things it shouldn’t have. I focused on being what my dad wanted me to be & never anything else. I was always too skinny, too fat, never good enough. He left impressions- figurative, literal. A jaw formed to his grip. Bald spots & bruises like his shadow. Crooked, unfixable

When I dated, I adhered to their standards. I let them point out the parts they thought were weird, gross, subpar. I formed my life around an ideal & lost who I was. I’d get ahead of it. Point out my own flaws, weaponize self-deprecation. To save myself the hurt. To ease others. Then, since I was saying it, it was gospel

It often feels like I was put in the driver’s seat yesterday. How can I have gray hairs when I still have the new(ish)car smell? How can my back ache when the mileage is low? I don’t know much about cars, obvi, but I think the metaphor’s apt

I wanted to celebrate my body in all its awkward glory. Yeah, that angle is bad. My skin is imperfect. I’m trying WAY too hard (the outtakes? Oof) But it’s me. Unfiltered (‘cept I made it black & white- tasteful, ya know?)

Maybe it’s a bout of mania & I’ll take it down. Self-love’s not a one-time thing; it’s the loot you grind for, then lose when the boss kills you. But it’s not unattainable. This is to remind myself on the next low day- love, don’t fix. Love others, but save some for yourself by @joshsquash729

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2 months ago

“Man Stares Longingly At Maple Donut”, Date Unknown, Colorized by @joshsquash729

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3 months ago

“There’s far too many careful colors in your light
To only see the world in black and white
Too many ways to love in life
To say what is wrong and what is right”

Happy Pride, one and all. From that awkward, annoying kid who wasn’t allowed to shine or sparkle too brightly, to the awkward, annoying adult who perhaps should let that sparkle out more often, it’s taken me a while to find the colors that comprise my rainbow. Every day, I see new shades, brought out by myself or others, and it only makes me appreciate them all the more.

Wherever you are in your JOY- the Journey of You- I hope you never doubt the color you bring to this world. I hope you know how lucky you are to have a light that only you can bring; with it, you shine, you sparkle, you sing. Surround yourself with those who bring out your color.

Pride is not a fad or folly; it is a life so very much worth living. Pride lives on- in the defiant smiles of the young and the old, who dare to shine in a dark world. Pride is today, and every day, so that everyone may have the chance to love themselves freely- whether Queen, King, or anything in between. by @joshsquash729

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4 months ago

Celebrating my Irish roots by honoring St Catrick, who chased all the mice and bugs from my apartment and has a penchant for shiny things. by @joshsquash729

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7 months ago

“You know of what I speak, Ferg-andalf: great Humps, wreathed in fire….” by @joshsquash729

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7 months ago

Introducing- Mordin!

Wanted to wait until he was a little more adjusted to home life to post, but Valentine’s Day brought a new kitty friend into the mix. Garrus has been a solo kitty for a while now, but I’ve always thought he could use a friend to help his separation anxiety.

Last weekend, @bfas_ny was having an adoption event, and I fell in love with this little guy immediately! He traveled all the way to NY from Georgia, and just turned 1 a few weeks back. In keeping with tradition, I decided to name him after a character from my favorite game series- he even has a little clipped ear, like the game character, so it was perfect!

Mordin (Mordy, for short) is very talkative, playful, curious, and so sweet. Garrus has taken a little time to adjust to him, but the two are quickly becoming buds, and he’s even bringing Garrus out of his shell a bit! I’d forgotten how lovely (and stressful) having a new cat can be, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world!

Oh, and don’t believe what anyone says- black cats are good luck! by @joshsquash729

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8 months ago

We “8” that. 💅🏻

8 years of pinching myself, realizing how lucky I am to be loved by someone so caring and kind. 8 years of silliness, of adventures- big and small, of laughter, of tears, of ups and downs, trips and falls, mistakes and growth and everything in between. It hasn’t always been easy- whether my doing or just life at large- but there’s no one I’d rather share it all with. The yin to my yang, the peanut butter to my chocolate, the Robin to my Batman. Love you, Boyo! Happy Anniversary! by @joshsquash729

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9 months ago

KC may be known for its BBQ, but JB is known for his cheese.

Had a wonderful time in KC this holiday season. It always feels like I have a laundry list of things I want to do, but rarely get to do any of it. Still, I cherish every moment, even when I have my picture taken against my will (just kidding; every photo of me is against my will 😜)

📸: @rpvee1 by @joshsquash729

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9 months ago