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Kate Stahlberg

@kate.stahlberg

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💋 0% filter - 100% silly, sassy, salty Dane in London
🔅 Highs and lows after breast cancer
🍿@cancerincommon and @futuredreamscharity Film Club host

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***Hej hej***

Hello there, don't think I've ever really done a proper introduction on IG so here are a few tidbits about me...

* I live in London coming up to 19 years, originally from Denmark.

* Diagnosed Oct. 2020 with grade 3 IDC and DCIS breast cancer.
ER8/8, PR8/8 and HER2 positive + BRCA2

* A Taurus and a Chocoholic.
I can be stubborn as bull and the only chocolate I don't like is the mocha flavoured kind (I don't like/drink coffee either, I know, pretty unusual for a Scandi😱).

* I'm extremely passionate about spreading awareness.
The more we talk about menopause, patients rights and all things in between, the less of a taboo it becomes.
Only by being vocal about things can we change the narrative.

* I believe one can never have too many plants🌱
My aloe vera blooms and my dracaena fragrans is taller than me now (not too difficult as I'm only 5ft😁).

* I started and run the monthly film club @futuredreamscharity
It's our 2nd year running and I'm incredibly proud of being able to provide my fellow bc people with a safe space, some fun and cinematic escapism 📽️

* One of my most memorable holiday experiences was hiking in Mount Tamalpais State Park amongst the impressive and beautiful Redwoods.

Right, I'm off to bed so I'll leave you with this;
Remember to be kind to yourself cos you are MOST definitely worth it and don't forget to check your boobs!

Thanks for reading and the follow, I appreciate you 🩷
Kate xxx

#bekindtoyourself #nofilter #fuckcancer #breastcancerawareness #menopauseawareness by @kate.stahlberg

***6 Years and Counting***

Six years ago today, on a Wednesday afternoon, I walked into the breast surgeon's office and received the news that would forever change my life.

In the days between my biopsy and getting the results I was reading up on all things breast cancer but nothing can prepare you for hearing the words "I'm sorry, it's cancer".

It's soul crushing and completely life altering.

Lots of surgery, treatments and an insane amount of tests and scans later I'm still standing which is something I never take for granted.

Getting cancer is pretty shit and there most definitely are some very dark days so I'm incredibly grateful for the beautiful people in my life and the wonderful experiences I've had far so far because despite cancer, there has been light and love inbetween.

Life might not look like I imagined it would but here's to making more magical memories and never missing out on a chance to cape shimmy 🩷

#breastcancerawareness #breastcancerawarenessmonth #fuckcancer #cancerlife by @kate.stahlberg

***BCAM***

Six year ago today I nervously sat in a breast surgeon's office.
I had called to make an appointment two days prior after discovering a lump in my left breast.

Admittedly I was never one for doing regular breast checks, many years before I suspected a lump but the doctor said it was nothing so I became quite cavalier about checking.

This time there was no denying it, the lump was too big to ignore though ashamed to admit, I did for a couple of months because living in denial was easier than having to face the reality, I knew it was cancer before I even had the scan.

It was 2020, the world was going through a global pandemic and I was going to hospital on a Friday morning all alone.

That morning turned into an afternoon as my surgeon sent me for a mammogram, ultrasound and biopsy.
I saw him after the scans and he told me it looked cancerous but that I would get the results a few days later which I did, it was ER, PR and HER2 positive breast cancer, the BRCA2 diagnosis came later.

Do I regret not seeing him that August instead when I first found the lump?
I honestly don't think about it, it would be easy to hit myself on the head with guilt but it's not like I can change the fact the cancer was there.

What I do wish is that I had been more vigilant in checking my breasts on a regular basis, I wish I had known what my normal was years ago and I wish breast checks were something I was taught to do from an early age.

Early education and detection saves lives!

So, all I can say is, don't be a "Kate", do your checks, know your normal and go see a doctor if something doesn't look or feel right!

Check out organisations like Breast Cancer Now, Coppafeel and Future Dreams for helpful tips and advice.

Cancer does not discriminate, whether you got one boob, two boobs or no boobs, if in doubt, check it out 🩷

#breastcancerawareness #bcam #cancer by @kate.stahlberg

One month on and campaigners are still coming to terms with the vote by MPs against the assisted dying bill on September 11th. This meant dying people were denied choice… again.

It’s hard to reconcile with what happened, how it happened and the cruel consequences of the result, but there is one thing we absolutely will not do and that is give up.

Dying people deserve better and the public want this.

#assisteddying #dignityindying #mp #choice #campaign by @kate.stahlberg

***World Mental Health Day***

October is awareness month for many important health issues.
Breast cancer, ADHD and mental health awareness being some of them, all of which I have personal experience with.

I've been very vocal about my ongoing struggles with my mental health, some contributing factors have naturally been from living with a cancer diagnosis and all the trauma that comes with it but I have struggled for decades prior to that.

Getting my recent ADHD diagnosis explains a lot of things for sure, I'm still learning about it and have those aha moments of like oh that's why I reacted like that or did this.
Looking back it's hard not to grieve what could have been had I known sooner, I like to think I would have been more compassionate with myself instead of always feeling something was wrong with me.

Statistically the number of people experiencing mental health issues is growing each year which isn't surprising given everything that's going on in the world.
However, anxiety and depression is more prevalent in people with ADHD and in those like myself who have thyroid and connective tissue disorders so mixed with early onset trauma and a cancer diagnosis no wonder it can feel very dark at times.

I wish I could say something clever, that I've come out on the other side but I'd be lying, every single day is a battle between my inner saboteur vs my desire to feel better and they each take turn in winning.

Having invasive thoughts constantly telling me I never do enough to help myself is bloody exhausting but I do try.
I started therapy following my cancer diagnosis which has helped a lot (note to self, must book a new appointment soon) and I'm trying to regulate my nervous system with walks in nature and holistic care like yoga, EFT and somatic exercises.

Different things works for different people just please don't suffer in silence.

If you struggle with mental health issues please know, you're not alone ❤️ by @kate.stahlberg

*** 'Tis the Season of Pink Ribbons***

October is fast approaching and with that comes Breast Cancer Awareness Month and all things pink.

From supermarkets selling pink ribbon biscuits to tv talkshows telling us to be breast aware, it will be everywhere in some shape or form.
And while the awareness campaigns and donations from coffee mornings and charity runs are greatly appreciated it can also be quite triggering for many people.

Breast cancer isn't pretty in pink!
It's emotional, mental and physical pain intertwined creating the ultimate trio of trauma.

I was diagnosed in October 2020 so for me, October has since ment annual check ups and scans which is always cause for some level of anxiety.
It can be quite overwhelming having it constantly staring back at you from socials, shops and the like on top.

If you, like me, feel the overwhelm, don't feel bad for taking a step back, unplug, unfollow, whatever feels right for you, your mental health matters more.

And if you feel so inclined, be mindful before rushing out to buy all things pink as not everything slapped with a pink ribbon actually support breast cancer.

The industry isn't regulated and pink washing is more common than we think.
If in doubt and wanting to support I suggest you donate directly to the relevant charities and organisations.

Breast cancer doesn't discriminate and size don't matter, if something doesn't feel or look right, please go see a doctor 🩷

#breastcancerawarenessmonth #breastcancer #breastcancerawareness #fuckcancer feelitonthefir by @kate.stahlberg

***Call For Change***

97% of people don't feel properly informed or supported by their medical team when it comes to menopause caused by cancer treatment.

Personally I felt like menopause was treated as a side note, secondary to my treatments and other side effects, not important at all when talking to my medical team at the time.

There wasn't any discussion about hormonal health prior to me starting cancer treatment which to me is a huge concern when it can have an incredibly debilitating effect on a persons quality of life.

Menopause is so much more than hot flushes and missed periods, especially when caused by cancer treatment.

I did a lot of research myself when I first started experiencing symptoms and luckily I found @dani_binnington and @menopause_and_cancer a few years ago.

Thanks to all their resources and support I feel better informed and able to advocate for and support myself.

We call for change;

• Menopause support must be embedded into pre-cancer treatment discussions and long-term cancer care planning.

• Improved training for healthcare professionals.

• Better access to therapies and specialist care.

More information, education, support, research and resources are needed!

Together we can shine a light on the issues and hopefully see the changes we so desperately need and deserve 🩷

#worldmenopauseandcancerawarenessday by @kate.stahlberg

#assisteddying #dailyexpress #angry #travesty #heartbreaking by @kate.stahlberg

Sun came out again for us again today. Thinking of these two amazing ladies who continue to inspire us.

#assisteddying #london #inspiration #choice #parliament by @kate.stahlberg

***Me, Myself & ADHD***

Yesterday I had most one of the most revelatory medical appointments of my life.

I had an ADHD assessment.

Imagine being on this chair ride, spinning non-stop your entire life, that's what it's like inside my head, never a quiet moment.

To be honest, I never really thought about ADHD in the past, I always knew something wasn't right but would blame myself for struggling, telling myself I was being dramatic, too sensitive, over reactive etc.

I've always put it down to early onset trauma, and I actually still did in the assessment yesterday, felt like a fraud for even being there despite being told I checked all the boxes of inattentive and hyperactive-compulsive ADHD.

I've been masking my entire life, sometimes the mask would slip but it would quickly be back on again.

Then came cancer and medically induced menopause and the walls I had so carefully constructed for decades fell down, there was no hiding anymore if I wanted to survive.

Masking became significantly difficult living with several chronic illnesses and side effects of all the treatments, I literally thought I was losing my mind.

ADHD is nothing new, symptoms of it was first recorded in 1798.
What's new is more women are diagnosed these days and no, it's not a "trend"!
It's because as with everything else women were never included in research or considered medically.

In the past, girls and women were struggling in silence and those who spoke up were institutionalised and lobotomised.

We're living in a society that finally listens to us, we're talking to each other and learning from sharing our stories so there's much more awareness now and you might connect the dots sooner than you would have before.

Don't get me wrong, we desperately need more research, education, support and funding into this and female health in general but I'm grateful I wasn't born earlier when getting help wasn't an option.

I'll be honest, I cried when I was told my diagnosis.
I finally felt validated, there's a reason why I feel and act like I do and it's okay.

Knowledge is power and I left feeling hopeful for my future for the first time in a long time❤️ by @kate.stahlberg

***Happy Place***

My third year going to the festival and I always have the best time.
Interesting talks, sunshine and all round good vibes, what more could you ask for ☀️

It was a super informative and interesting talk on female health and hormones by Dr. Louise Newson.

I always get enraged when hearing about how simple it would actually be to make women feel better and healthy if we weren't constantly subjected to medical misogyny, indifference and ignorance.

I'm so happy more awareness is happening, we desperately need more education, support and research on menopause and hormones but it sucks the conversation on HRT isn't more inclusive.

I get it, HRT is important and lifesaving for many but what about those of us who aren't allowed it? Are we just fucked???

Personally I think it should be up to the individual, if you make an informed decision the choice should be yours but we all know it doesn't work like that.

As a bare minimum I think local estrogen should be prescribed to all who needs it even those with hormone positive breast cancer like myself.

I'm lucky, I got it from my gynaecologist with my oncologists approval but I sadly know many who are refused it.
I shouldn't have to feel lucky, a prescription should be the norm not an abnormality.

It prevents painful vulvovaginal atrophy and UTIs to name just a couple of important benefits and doesn't get absorbed in the body other than the vagina.

Fun fact, one year on local estrogen equals only one day on regular HRT, makes you think doesn't it?

Anyways, I'll step down from my soap box for now hahah

Another highlight of the day was the interview with Fearne and Sam Thompson who has the most infectious joyful personality.
I definitely recognised a lot of myself in his stories and his struggles with anxiety and neurodivergence.

A fun day in the sun was followed by a sofa Sunday cos as per usual, living life comes with a price #chronicillnesswarrior

As always, fuck cancer!!!

Hej hej 😘
Xxx by @kate.stahlberg

***This Is How We Party***

Getting a cancer diagnosis and living with what that brings you is like being on a rollercoaster ride you didn't buy a ticket to.

@cancerincommon makes for a great stop on that ride and is why days like these where we can come together for an afternoon of fabulous fun makes a world of difference.

As always, the day included lots of love, laughter and dancing and not enough photos on my phone but that's a sign of a good time 🥰

Big thank you to @chloedixon.london and @heth.opie for bringing us all together and @insurancewith_ins for sponsoring the event, we all adore you guys 🤗 by @kate.stahlberg