Instagram story viewer> @katikasch> Posts

Kati Kasch

@katikasch

5.1K

followers

1637

following

Life is meant to be collected, not perfected
I ✍️ and🎙️about the adventures, people and lessons I collect
owner: @aerlum_homes + @apollohalldenver

POSTS STORIES REELS TAGGED

Some of you are wondering, “What’s my gal up to?”
A few are thinking, “Who is this new chick I just followed?”
And most are probably asking, “...what on earth is all of this?”

Fair question.

After more than a decade of using this app to keep up with everyone else’s stories - and occasionally share snippets of my own - I decided it was time to let it become part of mine.

Lately, my story seems to revolve around what some B-list scholar would probably call ‘Modern Adulthood’.

It’s all the stuff we’ve been stumbling through for decades without ever getting a manual. Careers. Relationships. Parenthood. Grief. Identity. Friendship. Reinvention. The weird in-between seasons nobody really prepares you for.

I’m tired of following one person for the hard stuff and another to escape it. That’s not how we live. It’s not how we’re built. So why is it how we’re expected to consume?

Screw a niche. I’d rather build a narrative. So that’s what this is.

Me building in real time. Balancing businesses, trying to grow a family, and making more space for the things I actually love: writing, creating, exploring, researching, and talking to people.

This isn’t a vanity project and I’m not here because I have the answers.

I’m here because I’m curious enough to ask better questions, and because I have a feeling a lot of us are trying to figure this stuff out together.

So I’m trying anyway. And I’d love some company.

If you have a bud, a brother, a cousin, or a colleague who might enjoy overly emotional prose mixed with existential humor, send them my way. The more the merrier.

And to those of you who’ve been here all along... Thank you. Truly.

A huge part of the confidence I’ve found to do this came from you. I don’t take that lightly and I promise I’ll pay it forward. ✨ by @katikasch

116

4

3 months ago

Ugh, I hate to admit this.

But one of the best pieces of parenting advice I’ve gotten came from… Instagram.

A woman said something that stuck with me - more than any sleep training pointer or toddler eating hack - she said: Figure out what makes you feel most like yourself before you have kids. What gives you freedom. What fills your cup. Then fight to keep it after they arrive.

Not because it’ll be easy. Because it’ll be worth it.

For her family, it was surfing. For Jordan and me, it’s travel. For me personally, it’s the outdoors.

The first flight? We got to the airport three hours early, with a pit in our stomach and sweat on our forehead, convinced something would go wrong. Now TSA practically knows us.

The first hike? I barely knew what to pack or how to carry him. Now we’ve taken him snowshoeing in below-freezing temperatures, and hiked the Rockies on scorching summer days.

What once felt overwhelming slowly became routine.

I think that’s true of a lot more than parenting. The hard things don’t always get easier. You just get better at carrying them.

So if anyone asks, I’m not doomscrolling… I’m conducting parenting research. by @katikasch

24k

108

3 months ago

I shared the news of my first within hours, the next within days. This one has taken me months to finally put into words.

Like the others before it, this one came with its own set of complications and complicated emotions:

The early surprise, wondering if my body had healed enough to carry a second.

The heavy weight of my experimental professional endeavors, wondering if our finances were enough to carry both too.

Then the gratitude of an easier experience this go around - maybe they were right and I just needed “to relax.”

And ultimately the joy of imagining two siblings close in age, driving us mad together, in a messy house, on a tighter budget, with more noise, less sleep, and somehow even more love.

Daydreams shattered back to reality with the quiet shift in my body, an all too familiar feeling. And then mocked by the universe with emergency room visits and months of lingering complications.

Like the high school heartbreak that hangs on too long, reappearing at holidays and lonely nights at the bar, reminding you of the depth of the wound. Just when I thought we were finally through it, the sutures of the heart reopened with each new blood test, ultrasound and doctor’s visit.

And yet, somewhere in all of this, I’ve realized miscarriage is not just grief over who was lost, but grief over who you briefly became while they were here. The version of you making room. Rearranging timelines and refining the budget. Imagining birthdays, bunk beds, Christmas mornings, and future chaos.

With each new loss comes a lesson. But what good are lessons if lived and languished alone?

So I’m going to continue to write this story with no end. To speak about it while it’s still uncomfortable. To let the ugly parts sit beside the hopeful ones. To stop pretending grief only deserves a voice once it’s neatly resolved. Because if we’re honest, grief is never resolved. And neither are we.

#ttc #infertility by @katikasch

3

116

5 months ago

The DMs have spoken.

Turns out announcing at six weeks comes with a lot of questions. Guess I should have seen that coming.

Answering these made me realize I’ve never really gone into a lot of the details. Because I kinda thought “who cares?” but I guess a few do. So here you go.

Also tomorrow is our first ultrasound. Hoping for good news, and trying very hard not to spiral between now and then.

Appreciate all the well wishes and good vibes everyone’s sending. It’s all going to be fine… right? 🫠 by @katikasch

89

13

12 hours ago

Yesterday, I announced my pregnancy. At only six weeks.

Which is earlier than even I expected.

We all know I’m loose-lipped about these kinds of things, but this kind of in-real-time vulnerability is making me squirm a bit.

When we found out we were pregnant, I found myself giddy at the idea of picking another baby name, panicked about my nonexistent supplement regimen, eager to start looking at double strollers, and wanting to clear my calendar for the day of our first ultrasound… just in case.

The emotions, just like all the times before, were conflicting, volatile, and impossible to explain to someone who hasn’t been through it.

If you’ve experienced pregnancy after loss, I know you know what I’m talking about. The agonizing, sometimes exhilarating hours, days, and months between that first positive pregnancy test and whatever outcome awaits.

People always kindly ask, “So, how are you feeling?”

And all I can think to respond is, “How much time do you have?”

Because, like grief itself, it’s almost impossible to explain what it feels like to hold so many conflicting emotions at once.

So, I’ve decided that for the next week, I’m going to save you a seat on the roller coaster of emotions I’m sure to experience.

And the first one?

Scared shitless.
-

And yes, you’re seeing that correctly, @clearblue doubles as a fantastic 🎤 by @katikasch

336

10

2 days ago

Someone told me that the hottest baby announcement trend is the one where you don’t even make one. Where one day there’s just this little angel with a soft smile - no sign of your nine month crusade.

But we all know that’s not how we do it around here.

Subtlety? Secrecy? Never heard of ‘em.

As I’ve continued to let you in on more and more of this journey, I’ve been rewarded with trust of so many of your own stories.

But I realized that the stories we share are only told in hindsight. When we’re past the tests. When we can no longer “jinx it”. When there’s resolution - one way or another.

But if you’ve experienced pregnancy after loss, you know that those months, days, hours, between your first test and holding your baby are agonizing and, sometimes, exhilarating. It’s something you simply can’t explain to someone who hasn’t gone through it.

But I’m going to try my best.

We have a few days until our first ultrasound and I’m going to be honest and real about the ups and downs, the illogical fears and the naive daydreams that dictate my days.

So if you’re down for that sort of thing, buckle up. Because neither of us know what’s coming.

*and an overdue recognition to all my gals who had something to mourn yesterday on Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day* by @katikasch

244

72

3 days ago

Is it just me or does this analogy deserve a Pulitzer Prize?!

But really… daily, I wish I still had the courage of 22 year old me, atop a wobbly speaker, dancing my damn heart out with zero care for the opinions of those below. I felt freaking unstoppable.

Today, though, I catch myself overanalyzing every piece I write, decision I make and video I post with the ‘what-if’s and the ‘or maybe’s. Wanting to do it perfectly, wanting to appease the masses, or walk the tightrope of being funny without it costing me being taken seriously. It’s as if I’m looking to the crowd for instruction on rhythm or my dance moves.

Nightclub Kati would never. So, I’ve decided I’m going to try and channel more of her. More of my fellow gals on the speakers and dance just how I want to. by @katikasch

1k

41

a month ago

As I book our next IVF appointment for what will (hopefully) be my second “geriatric” pregnancy, I can’t help but think - can we finally do something about this god forsaken name?!

So here’s my submissions. *did I miss any?*

Sincerely,
A “Therapy Already Handled That” mom who freaking loves it but wouldn’t change a single day without kids for one with them by @katikasch

165

33

a month ago

Despite having 2m views on a video of me singing Catholic hymns to my son in a cultish turtleneck, sipping a holy gin and tonic…I am not a religious person.

Hasn’t always been the case though - I’m confirmed (Catholic-lingo) and hell, I was even a Young Life leader at one point. And I DO think it’s powerful that people can achieve community and purpose out of something like religion, or yoga, or CrossFit. It just ain’t for me.

Though, these days, I’m finding myself envious. Not of the guilt trips or those gospel bangers (dear god please don’t come sellin’ Jesus to me in my dms) but rather because of the founding principle that who you are is no accident and that your strengths are god given and meant to be shared.

Like can you imagine… someone was like “hey girl, you’re such a good _____” and I’m like “thanks, the big man/lady upstairs said so.”

No hesitation. No spiral. Just belief, fully loaded, handed to you at birth.

So no, I’m not becoming religious. But I’ll admit it - there’s something almost enviable about getting to skip the part where you have to talk yourself into believing you’re actually allowed to do the thing you’re good at.

Is anyone else dying to have their answer handed to them? Or just me? by @katikasch

65

4

a month ago

Send it to her. I promise she can relate.

This is my personal love letter to all the overachievers, the fixers and the ‘freaks’.

We’ll win, I promise. Whatever that may look like.

But for now, let’s dance.

#ttc #infertility #poetry #jjyapchallenge #writing by @katikasch

706

20

3 months ago

This age is so funny.

They exist around each other with very little care for one another. Until a fleeting remembrance that they need someone to harmonize with their lunchtime wails, or when the one Lego they suddenly desperately want is in the other one’s hand.

And then, for a second, they see each other.

And we sit nearby with giddy grins, employing our best mind-control tricks to assure them that they are, obviously, going to be best friends for life.

But I realized on this trip that maybe all that “you guys are going to be besties!” talk isn’t really about them.

Maybe it’s our much less weird way of saying it to each other.

That in this new chapter of life - parenthood, family vacations, snacks everywhere, early bedtimes and very little actual relaxing - we’ve looked around at the people in our lives and thought:

You. We want to keep doing this with you.

We want your kids tangled up in our kids’ memories.
We want you in the village that helps raise them.
We want more trips and holidays and ordinary weekends where our lives keep overlapping.

Maybe one day these two will become best friends. Or maybe they won’t. Eventually, that choice will be theirs.

But for these few years, while we still get some say in who fills the photos and the vacations and the stories they’ll grow up hearing - the choice is ours.

And we choose them. taken in Cashiers, North Carolina by @katikasch

3

10

2 months ago

Missing from the narrative: I took us to the wrong JCPenny…

Let’s set the scene…

We were riding HIGH on our way to the shoot. Girlhood was in full force with an early 2000s playlist, champagne roadies for the passengers, and combing Pinterest for pose inspo.

Then came the sobering realization that we were at the wrong location (one whose portrait studio closed years ago). To be honest, it’s not the first time I’ve done something like that - hell, even that morning I had blundered the brunch reservation - but thankfully this crew gets it.

They’re the down for anything, go with the flow, judgement free types. They’re the last-minute-trip friends, the I’ll-try-anything-once friends, and the we’re-never-too-old friends.

As we get older, I seem to find fewer of them. Not that I can blame ‘em - comfort, consistency, and familiarity, have grown on me too.

But it’s days like this one that remind me that silliness is superior, randomness reigns supreme and, above all, chill girls rule.

Happiest of birthdays surprises @nikkiwarner_ taken in Denver, Colorado by @katikasch

92k

448

10 months ago