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إلاهة 💎

@kendrathegem

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I will NEVER look like what I’ve been through. 💚✨

There’s a misconception that struggle has to look a certain way. That pain should show on your face and hardship should dim your light.

But I’ve never believed that. I’ve endured the biggest loss, setbacks, and battles that could’ve broken me, yet I remain resilient.

Just because I carry myself with grace doesn’t mean life has been easy. I can be hurting, healing, and rebuilding while still showing up as the woman I choose to be.

My circumstances don’t define me, and my struggles will never dictate how I present myself to the world. 💚

#Resilience #stillstanding #RebuildingMyLife #DéjasMomma #KendratheGem by @kendrathegem

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4 days ago

Full Transparency Moment 💚-Rebuilding in Real Time

At 51, life looks nothing like I imagined it would. After losing Déja, I’ve had to find the strength to navigate a life I never expected while figuring out how to move forward.

I’m rebuilding, embracing new opportunities, and learning to give myself grace along the way. Some days are harder than others, but my faith, determination, and sense of humor are still intact! 😂

I’m not where I want to be just yet, but I’m showing up, making moves, and trusting that better days are ahead.

My story isn’t over. I’m simply learning how to write the next chapter. 💚✨

#RebuildingInRealTime #StartingOverAt51 #LifeAfterLoss #NewBeginnings #FaithOverFear by @kendrathegem

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5 days ago

This chapter feels different. ✨ Less proving, more becoming. Less explaining, more living. I’ve been through enough to know that life can change in ways you never imagined. I’m still grieving, still finding my way, and still choosing to move forward with grace, strength, and love🖤

#WomenOver50 #StillBecoming #GriefAndGrowth #MovingForward #resilience by @kendrathegem

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7 days ago

Grief changed my life, but it didn’t end my life. 🤍 I’m learning how to carry Déja with me while rebuilding everything else…my peace, my purpose, my stability, and my future.

I don’t have it all figured out. I just know I’m ready to build again.

Grieve. Heal. Live. Build. One move at a time. 💚

#GriefJourney #LifeAfterLoss #HealingOutLoud #StartingOver #RebuildingMyLife by @kendrathegem

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17 days ago

I’m learning that moving forward doesn’t mean leaving her behind.

Since Déja passed away on April 27th, life has felt like a series of good days, hard days, and days when simply getting through them feels like enough. Some days I feel strong and motivated. Some days grief completely takes the wind out of me. And some days I’m somewhere in between, trying to figure out who I am now and what comes next.

I know I still have a life to live. I know there are decisions to make, dreams to rebuild, and a future that I have to keep walking toward. I’m trying to give myself permission to do that without feeling like I have to have everything figured out.

So today, I’m reminding myself that I can miss my daughter with every part of me and still choose to live. I can have moments when I fall apart and still get back up. I can be grieving and growing at the same time.

Déja will always be a part of every version of me that comes next.

I’m just taking it one day, one decision, and sometimes one moment at a time.💚

#ForeverMyDaughter #GriefAndGrace #LearningToLiveAgain #HerLoveLivesOn #OneDayAtATime by @kendrathegem

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a month ago

Even as a little girl, Déja had something in her.

She was dynamic. Driven. A self-starter. A go-getter before she was even old enough to understand what those words meant.

She had a way of knowing who she was, and watching that confidence grow was one of the greatest gifts of being her mother.

Reading this part of Chapter 4, “Every Version of Her,” reminded me that the woman she became was already there in that little girl.

Every version of her was extraordinary. 💚

From The Woman I Used to Be Didn’t Survive.

#TheWomanIUsedToBeDidntSurvive #EveryVersionOfHer #Deja #Motherhood #GriefAndLove by @kendrathegem

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a month ago

There were beautiful places, unfamiliar streets, quiet mornings, long rides, new experiences, and moments that gave me more space to think than I realized I needed.

Somewhere along the way, the words started coming.

First came You Loved, You Were Loved, and That Love Is Still Here.(Guided Journal)

Then came The Woman I Used to Be Didn’t Survive.

I didn’t travel there with a plan to create either one. I was simply living, feeling, experiencing, and allowing the season to unfold.

Sometimes a journey gives you more than memories.

Sometimes it gives you something you didn’t even know was waiting to come out of you.

#thewomaniusedtobedidntsurvive #healingjourney #lifeafterloss #griefjourney 💚 by @kendrathegem

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a month ago

There’s no roadmap for this. I’m taking it one day at a time, allowing myself to feel what I feel and learning what life looks like from here.

I think it’s time we create a space to have these conversations together.

Next Wednesday • 7:30 PM CST
I’ll be going LIVE to talk openly about grief, love, loss, and learning to live after losing someone we love.

If you’d like to join the conversation and participate, drop a 🤎 in the comments so I know you’re interested.

Let’s talk. Let’s listen. Let’s support one another. 🤎

#TheWomanIUsedToBeDidntSurvive #GriefJourney #GriefSupport #LifeAfterLoss #StillBecoming by @kendrathegem

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a month ago

On what would have been her 35th birthday, I’m sharing something incredibly personal..two books born from love, loss, motherhood, and a journey I’m still learning to navigate.

This is for my baby, for her legacy, and for every person learning how to carry love and grief at the same time. 🕊️

The Woman I Used to Be Didn’t Survive
Still Here: A Grief Journal

Both are available now. Link in bio. 🤎

#TheWomanIUsedToBeDidntSurvive #StillHere #MotherhoodAfterLoss #GriefJourney #StillHerMother by @kendrathegem

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2 months ago

I just want to say thank you. 🤎 The heartfelt messages, love, encouragement, and stories so many of you have shared with me have meant more than I can put into words.

I’ve been in Ghana since July 8th, and this time away has given me space to self-reflect, practice self-care, sit with my grief, and really listen to what I need in this season of my life. I’m still figuring it out..one day at a time.

I also understand that everything I share won’t resonate with everyone, and that’s okay. For those it does resonate with, take from my journey whatever you need and leave the rest. If something I say helps you feel seen, understood, or a little less alone, then sharing it was worth it.

Something else has been on my heart. Eventually, I would love to create a monthly virtual gathering..a safe space for those of us who have lost a child or someone deeply loved. No pretending. No judgment. No timeline for grief. Just a place to talk, listen, share, cry, remember, and simply be with people who understand loss.

For now, I just want to say thank you for holding space for me while I learn how to hold space for myself. 🤎

#GriefJourney #LifeAfterLoss #GriefCommunity #SelfCare #FindingMyWay by @kendrathegem

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2 months ago

Over the past few weeks, I’ve been writing through the hardest season of my life… loving, grieving, remembering, and trying to understand who I am now.

And somehow, from that pain, two books were born.

My memoir, The Woman I Used to Be Didn’t Survive, and my grief journal, Still Here, will both be available this week.

These aren’t just books to me. They carry pieces of my story, my grief, my healing, and most importantly, my Déja.

I wrote them from a place I never imagined I would have to know, with the hope that someone else walking through grief might feel a little less alone.

Coming this week. 🤎

For her. For me. And for anyone learning how to keep living while carrying a love that never left.

You were here. You were loved. You are still loved. And that love is still here. #TheWomanIUsedToBeDidntSurvive
#StillHere
#MotherhoodAfterLoss
#GriefJourney
#StillHerMother ❤️ by @kendrathegem

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2 months ago

Grief doesn’t have an expiration date. 💚

I came to Ghana looking for a little peace, but grief came with me.

While Déja was sick, caring for her became my priority. But even then, I was still trying to figure out how I could work, earn an income, and still be there for her the way she needed me.

And now I’m grieving, still searching, still trying to rebuild, and figuring out what life looks like after losing my only child.

Some days I’m strong. Some days I fall apart. Today, I’m simply allowing you to see both.

My grief journal and book are coming soon, and when they’re ready, I hope you’ll support them. They were born from the hardest chapter of my life, and I pray they help someone else through theirs.

I don’t have it all figured out. I’m just still here. Still trying. Still creating. Still choosing to live. 💚 #RawAndReal #GriefJourney #HealingOutLoud #LifeAfterLoss #StillChoosingLife taken in Labone by @kendrathegem

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2 months ago