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Shaun Greenaway | Male Fertility Advocate

@knackered_knackers

6.7K

followers

2021

following

🗣️ Male fertility advocate & coach
👨‍👧‍👦 Dad to twins via donor conception
📺 BBC • Sky • C4 | 📰 The Times + more
🤝 Co-founder @themalefertilityhub

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Hey, I’m Shaun. I’m a regular chap, just trying to navigate life without getting too many b*llockings from my wife.

Jenna and I have been together since 2009, married since 2013. We’ve had a few challenges along the way, but shared way more laughs, and grown stronger through it all.

Our path took an unexpected turn in 2018 when I was diagnosed with male factor infertility - Azoospermia. We’d been trying to grow our family throughout 2017, and neither of us could have ever been prepared for that life changing news.

We eventually chose to pursue our dream of becoming parents by using donor sperm, and in February 2021 we were blessed with the arrival of our twins Ray & Evelyn. Where there was once a huge void in our hearts, there is now a life full of love, laughter, and of course - meltdowns.

But the intervening years were the hardest of my life. I felt the overbearing weight of this struggle:

The pain and grief that infertility brings.
Having my identity as a man turned on its head.
The societal misconceptions that surround male infertility.

And I was facing this alone, with no other men talking about it at the time. I couldn’t find the support I so desperately needed.

And that’s why I now share my story. Because the power of authentic sharing is immeasurable. It shatters taboos, breaks down walls, and lets others know they’re not alone.

Infertility doesn’t define me, but it has reshaped my perspective and given me a unique purpose. That purpose being to help others navigate the sh*t storm of struggling to conceive.

So, welcome. This page is a mix of family life, as well as my honest thoughts and perceptions around male infertility and donor conception. If you’re looking for support, check out the other pinned posts.

#malefertility #maleinfertility #malefertilityawarness #malefertilitysupport #infertility by @knackered_knackers

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7 months ago

Something that needs to be talked about more: Male fertility.

Shaun Greenaway shares his experience of becoming a dad through sperm donation, and what it was like to learn about and navigate male infertility, on our latest Parenting Helpline episode. From grief and identity to challenging common misconceptions, head over to @bbcsounds to listen to the full episode.

#CBeebiesParentingHelpline #CBeebiesParenting #MaleInfertility by @knackered_knackers

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10 months ago

You often don’t realise how much you are carrying until it bubbles to the surface.

For a lot of men, infertility is not just a medical issue. It’s something much deeper.

It starts to shape how you see yourself
How you show up in your relationship
What you say, or more commonly, what you don’t say

And over time, it can turn into pressure, self-blame, and a loss of identity.

That’s why I trained as an accredited coach, to help men navigate this and find a way forward.

What I see time and time again is that most men are not struggling because they are failing in any way.

They are struggling because they have never been given the space to process any of it properly.

They are expected to hold it together, and be strong for everyone else, even when they are not ok themselves.

That is where this work starts.

Not with fixing everything overnight, but with understanding what is going on beneath the surface.

Learning how to explore this, and finding a way forward that actually feels manageable.

If any part of this felt familiar, you are not the only one going through it.

And you do not have to figure it out on your own.

If you want to explore coaching, you can find more details via the link in my bio, or just send me a message.

No pressure, no expectations, just a conversation at your pace.

#malefertility #maleinfertility #malefertilityawarness #malefertilitysupport #infertility by @knackered_knackers

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7 months ago

On Tuesday 27th October, from 7pm onwards, we’re holding our next Male Fertility Hub in-person meet at The Bell Pub, near Liverpool Street Station in London.

This is for any man navigating fertility challenges, wherever you are in the journey - just starting out, right in the thick of treatment, or on the other side of it.

Our London meets are always well attended, and the format is simple…. come along, be around other guys who understand, have a chat if you want to, listen if you don’t. There’s never any pressure to share anything you’d rather keep to yourself.

And this time, though, we’re adding something new - we’re harnessing our inner Luke Littler and turning it into a bit of a games night.

We’ve got the whole basement games room to ourselves, including:

🎯 Darts
🎱 Pool
⚽ Table football
🎮 And even a Sega Mega Drive for a bit of nostalgia

So bring your arrows if you’ve got some, or just turn up and get involved.

The room is completely private to us for the evening, and as always, despite being in a pub there’s absolutely no pressure to drink alcohol. Alcohol-free options are very welcome.

Hope to see you there.

📩 Feel free to send this onto a bloke who you know could benefit from this. by @knackered_knackers

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20 hours ago

I’ve been on Testosterone Replacement Therapy for 6 years now.

And, much like male infertility itself, it’s something I knew virtually nothing about until I suddenly needed to.

After my micro-TESE, my testosterone levels fell off a cliff and, one by one, I started experiencing symptoms I didn’t initially connect….Brain fog. Hot flushes. Low energy. Low mood. No sex drive.

I just knew I didn’t feel like myself.

Eventually, blood tests provided an explanation, and after trying for months to improve things naturally, I made the decision with my endocrinologist to start TRT.

For around three years that meant applying gel every day, but now i’ve moved onto an injection every 12 weeks, along with regular blood tests and monitoring.

Being on TRT has made an enormous difference for me.

This definitely isn’t about telling anyone they need TRT. Symptoms like tiredness, low mood, poor concentration or low libido can have all sorts of causes. But if something doesn’t feel right, I do think there’s a lot to be said for getting curious about your own health, asking questions and getting properly checked.

Especially for men already navigating fertility issues, because testosterone comes up a lot in our community.

There’s also an important fertility consideration with TRT, so that absolutely needs to be part of the conversation before starting treatment.

If you’re navigating low testosterone alongside fertility challenges and want to talk to other men who genuinely understand this stuff from lived experience, join @themalefertilityhub. It’s free, confidential and full of supportive conversations between men who get it.

And if you want to understand testosterone in more detail, we recorded an episode of @themalefertilitypodcast with @drjohnnyandrews, where we talk about Low T, TRT, fertility, testing and my own experience in much more depth.

Search The Male Fertility Podcast wherever you listen to podcasts.

#malefertility #maleinfertility #malefertilitysupport #malefertilityawareness #infertility by @knackered_knackers

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2 days ago

Before becoming a father through sperm donor conception, I had so many questions about what it would feel like.

Would I feel connected to my children?
Would I feel like their dad?
Would sharing no DNA always be something I thought about?

As much as I tried to imagine what it would be like, it’s the experience of being their father that has answered those questions. Being there from the minute they were born. Being there every day, through the hard times as well as the good.

Donor conception is part of our family’s story. We’ll keep talking about it, listening to our children and making room for whatever it means to them as they grow.

If you’re considering this route, it needs time, thought and honest conversations. There’s a lot to work through, both for you and for the child you hope to have.

And even after all that, it’s still a leap of faith. Any parenting is.

For me, taking that leap, going all in and loving these children as fully as I can has brought more than I could ever have pictured when I was trying to work it all out.

And what I’ve come to realise is that, day to day, it’s just parenting.

We just took a different route to get there.

#maleinfertility #malefertility #donorconception #infertility #malefertilityawareness by @knackered_knackers

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6 days ago

I’ve been so proud of my kids this week.

Last weekend, Ray swam on his own for the first time. No floats or other assistance.

For many parents of a five-and-a-half-year-old, that might not sound like a huge milestone. But for us, with Ray-Ray being severely autistic, non-verbal and having many developmental delays, it was massive. Seismic.

It was almost like he just decided: “I’m going to swim now”. And off he went, and he didn’t want to stop!

I was so proud of my main man, and I am so excited to go swimming with him this weekend.

Then there’s Evelyn.

Last week she decided that she wanted to apply for the school council.

We’d lost the official application form, so before school she knocked together her own letter explaining why she thought she’d be good at it.

Her credentials? She’s a good writer, and she’s kind.

And this week we found out she got the role.

It reminds me of that quote: “In a world where you can be anything, be kind”.

And while I’m sure the mermaid decorations may have helped, the bit that makes us proudest is that kindness genuinely is who she is.

She’s growing into such a caring, thoughtful little human.

I spent years desperately wanting to become a dad, and it’s moments like this that I was fighting for.

To others these moments may be small, or just developmental milestones, but to us they’re absolutely enormous.

#malefertility #maleinfertility #malefertilityawareness #infertility #donorconception by @knackered_knackers

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9 days ago

It was a busy end to last week, with two opportunities to share the male experience of fertility treatment.

I was honoured to speak at @b_c_r_m for their clinical education session, followed by the Southern Nurses Meeting - a training and education event for fertility nurses from across the South.

It’s always great to get in front of the people working within fertility care. These are the people doing so much every day to help people like me have the families we once feared we might never have.

It also gives me the chance to give a voice to a side of fertility treatment that often still goes unheard - the male experience.

When I speak, I share my own story - including the mental, emotional and physical (still makes me wince) journey I went on after being diagnosed with Azoospermia - and what I’m doing now to help others going through it today.

And I also share what I hear every day from men within @themalefertilityhub community, and what clinics and practitioners can do to better include and support male patients throughout their fertility treatment.

For me, one of the most encouraging things is that fertility professionals actively want to hear this. They want to understand the patient experience, keep learning and continue improving the support they provide.

A huge thank you to everyone at BCRM and Katie Best from @ibsa_group for inviting me and making male fertility part of the conversation.

#malefertility #maleinfertility #malefertilitysupport #malefertilityawareness #infertility by @knackered_knackers

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13 days ago

The Feynman principle says that true expertise is being able to take something complex and explain it in a way that anyone can understand.

Lots of people might think they can do that, but not many can actually do it well - especially with something as complex as reproductive health.

Dr Michael Carroll (@mcarroll1859) has managed it exceptionally well in his new book, Your Nuts.

Michael has devoted his career to reproductive science, and he’s taken all of that knowledge and broken it down into a book that is easy to read and understand.

I really like how broad the topics in the book are. It covers things like:

• The penis and testicles, and how everything actually works
• Male fertility and reproduction
• Common causes of male fertility problems
• What men can do to better understand and improve their fertility
• Female fertility and reproduction, so men understand the whole process
• Men’s mental health

And plenty more….including smegma!

We talked about all of this when Michael joined me this week on @themalefertilitypodcast

We also talked about why he decided to write the book, which he undertook in his spare time outside of his full-time job.

Oh, and he illustrated the whole thing himself too.

Evelyn discovered the book when I had it out ready for the interview and took a particular interest in some of those anatomical illustrations. So it appears to work for a slightly broader age range than Michael perhaps intended.

One thing Michael and I very much share is a frustration with the amount of misinformation around male fertility online.

His message is simple….he wants men to know their nuts.

Because the more we understand about our fertility and reproductive health, the better equipped we are to look after ourselves and make better decisions.

And as we increasingly understand the links between male reproductive health and wider general health, that knowledge matters far beyond fertility alone.

Your Nuts is available now from all the usual booky places.

And Michael’s episode of The Male Fertility Podcast will be out soon.

#maleinfertility #malefertility #malefertilitysupport #malefertilityawareness #infertility by @knackered_knackers

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16 days ago

I’ve lost count of how many semen samples I’ve had to produce over the years.

From the outside, the male part seems pretty simple.

Turn up. Knock one out. Hand over the pot, and stroll off into the sunset - hi-fiving everyone on your way out.

But when male infertility is already wrapped up in guilt, fear and everything else swirling around in your head, there’s nothing easy about it.

Before fertility treatment, my only real reference point for producing a sample in a clinic was the scene in Road Trip. Full of bantz and bravado.

The reality was very different.

Cold, clinical rooms. Questionable ‘material’. Forms asking to note if you spilled any….and the knowledge that what you manage to produce can have a very real bearing on what happens next.

For me, the room was never really the hardest part.

It was the pressure.

On one occasion, there was so much riding on the sample that after around 45 minutes I started to chafe and had to accept that it just wasn’t going to happen.

I handed the cup back empty. That was embarrassing.

But phoning my wife afterwards and telling her I couldn’t do it was far worse.

My head immediately went to: I’ve let her down.

That guilt was already there from watching everything she was physically going through in treatment. This just added another layer.

And acknowledging that this can be incredibly difficult for men takes absolutely nothing away from what women go through during fertility treatment.

It ain’t a competition.

Two things can be difficult at the same time.

I eventually came to dread every time I had to produce another sample, and from the conversations I’ve had with other men since, I know I’m far from alone.

Because that little plastic cup can carry a helluva lot more than a semen sample.

Pressure. Fear. Embarrassment. Guilt. Hope.

So perhaps we can finally stop calling it “the easy bit”.

#malefertility #maleinfertility #malefertilitysupport #malefertilityawareness #infertility by @knackered_knackers

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17 days ago

Tonight, a group of men from The Male Fertility Hub who are based in and around Glasgow are getting together for an informal in-person meet and support session.

They’ll be at Bavaria Brauhaus, Bothwell Street, Glasgow, from 6:30pm onwards, with community member Alasdair leading the evening, so look out for him when you arrive.

These in-person meets are always incredibly powerful. There’s something about sitting in a room with other men who genuinely get it that can be hard to replicate online.

There’s no pressure to share, explain yourself or say anything you’re not ready to. You can simply come along, have a drink (no pressure around what either) and be around other guys who understand, wherever you are in your fertility journey.

If you’re not already part of the community, you can join via the link in our bio or at MaleFertilityHub.com.

And please share this with anyone you think could benefit from meeting these legends in Glasgow. Whether you’re a friend, family member or someone working in the fertility space, point them our way and we’ll take it from there.

#maleinfertility #malefertilitysupport #malefertility #malefertilityawareness #infertility by @knackered_knackers

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18 days ago

One of the questions I get asked most often by women is, “I know he’s struggling, but he won’t talk to me. What can I do?”

I get it, because I was there too.

Male factor infertility can shake a man’s confidence, identity and sense of what his future was supposed to look like. But that doesn’t always mean he’ll know how to explain any of that.

Looking back, I know there were times when I tried to stay strong for Jenna because I felt like that was my role. Treatment was happening to her body, the issue was with me, and I carried a huge amount of guilt about what she was having to go through because of it.

What helped wasn’t being pushed to talk or having somebody try to fix it.

It was the reassurance that my diagnosis hadn’t changed how she saw me. Patience when I didn’t have the words. Space when I needed it, without feeling abandoned. And a gentle nudge or two in the direction of things that she knew would help me, but what I couldn’t see at the time.

This isn’t about teaching you how to ‘manage’ your partner, or making you responsible for his emotional wellbeing.

It’s just to help create the conditions where he knows he doesn’t have to carry all of this alone.

It’s important to acknowledge you’re going through this too, and need your own support. Supporting him doesn’t mean silencing your own fears, grief or frustration. A relationship works both ways.

P.S. If the man in your life could benefit from speaking to another bloke who truly understands what male infertility is like, send him my way.

#maleinfertility #malefertility #malefertilitysupport #malefertilityawareness #infertility by @knackered_knackers

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24 days ago