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Lianne ‘Badger’

@lianneruddle

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My world, my loves, as I move through life and loss 🤍🕊️
💍 Chris
👦 Rudy
👧🏼 Teddi
👼 Ezra

POSTS STORIES REELS TAGGED

Today I was given an incredible opportunity by @skynews and @sophyridge to share Ezra’s story and put a question directly to the Health Secretary.

It was a privilege to share the sofa with @hannahandbirthtrauma @neya29 @rachelcoles_birthtrauma @gracepenzeradams these formidable women are fighting for change and accountability. 💪 🩷

A huge thank you to my ‘entourage’ @sian_cuddlecot and hubby, for being there every step of the way. I held my nerve… just about.

Thank you to Sophy and the entire Sky News team for your kindness, compassion and for creating a safe space to tell Ezra’s story.

Today was about every family whose voice deserves to be heard.

A really special day. 🤍

Full episode here x
https://youtu.be/2bBawmJ1ymc taken in London, United Kingdom by @lianneruddle

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3 months ago

Today was a very special day for us as a family, we traveled to Sunderland to volunteer our time @4louis.charity an amazing family run charity that really has helped us and so many others.

We packed over 100 memory boxes including some in memory of Ezra and learned so much more about the work @4louis.charity does with families, NHS, other front line staff and organisations.

Whilst this has been an incredibly emotional time it has bought us much comfort and healing, the day ended with a rainbow 🌈

Ezra always with us 🤍 by @lianneruddle

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8 months ago

Wave of Light 🕯️

I’ve been in tears tonight. Tears for all the families out there missing their little ones, and tears for myself, missing my Ezra.🕊️🤍🪽

I’ve always found the Wave of Light moving, but experiencing it as a bereaved parent this year has been something else entirely. There’s something really beautiful about bereaved families coming together to shine a light for all the babies gone too soon.

I wish I could reach out to every single family, say their baby’s name and remind them they’re not alone. Because I’m feeling it too.

So I’m leaving this candle here, shining for Ezra and every baby who should still be here.

Forever young. Forever loved.

Shine bright, babies. 🤍

#waveoflight by @lianneruddle

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3 days ago

… and suffer we have.

This has been the hardest year of our lives. I won’t sugarcoat it. Grief has tested us in ways we could never have imagined.

I never understood this saying, but I do now.

I love this man. 🤍 by @lianneruddle

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4 days ago

TW BABY LOSS

You can always count on iPhone memories to catch you off guard. This one has left me standing in the kitchen in floods of tears.

There’s something quite ironic about it being Baby Loss Awareness Week. This time last year, I’d never been more aware that we might be losing our baby. This year, I’m living with having lost him.

An anomaly was picked up at our 20-week scan. We spent the next nearly five weeks living in fear. Every scan, every MRI, every hospital appointment, every letter, every phone call became something to dread. Any joy of pregnancy was totally removed.

We booked this weekend away to shut out the noise. On the outside, we looked like a normal family having a lovely time. And we were. But we also had the weight of the world on our shoulders. Mine and Chris’s smiles didn’t quite reach our eyes. The kids had no idea what was about to unfold. Neither did we, really.

While we were away, Ezra was still there, kicking away, and for little moments it was easy to forget that he was poorly. We were all together, enjoying life, and we could still picture the future we’d imagined with him.

We never got those family photos of all of us proudly gathered round the bump. We were so frightened about what might happen that we struggled to appreciate the time we still had with Ezra… oh how I wish I could turn back that clock.

Hindsight is a wonderful thing. I would have recorded his heartbeat. Taken more photos. There are so many things I wish I’d done, but at the time we were just trying to hold ourselves together, though the cracks were already showing.

For that weekend, we had a little bit of normality. And this video holds something precious, our last holiday with all three of our children.

Ezra was still here. 🤍

#babylossawareness #blaw #stillbirth #grief by @lianneruddle

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6 days ago

Our little Disco Dolly is ONE 🪩🐾🤍

She came into our lives at a time when our hearts were broken, and we had so much love bursting out of us that we needed somewhere for it to go.

Fun, loving, completely chaotic in all the right places, and exactly the energy our family needed. We never knew quite how much joy one little dog could bring into a home, especially at a time when we needed it most.

Happy 1st birthday to our little girl, our Dolly 🪩🤍🐾 by @lianneruddle

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11 days ago

This, that & everything in between. The last of the summer diaries 💛🙂 by @lianneruddle

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a month ago

Happy 60th birthday, to the GOAT, the woman who puts the GLAM in Glamma, our real life Benjamin button, my mum 💛 love you @eventsinaboxlm I hope your day is as fabulous as you are. by @lianneruddle

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a month ago

Santé 🍸 by @lianneruddle

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a month ago

A little bit off-grid and very much needed. 🤍 Backs in bits but heart is healing.

No signal, no distractions. Just camping, forest walks, beach days, crabbing, laughing and time together. 🏕️ 🦀 ☀️

As always, Ezra came with us. A little white butterfly appeared on our walk through the New Forest and the kids were convinced it was their brother showing us the way, so naturally, we followed, which led us to the top of a hill with gorgeous views. 🤍🦋

A few days to switch off, reconnect and just be us. by @lianneruddle

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2 months ago

🎶 Wishing Dj Toe taps, 👑 king of the dad jokes, 🐾 Dolly’s chew toy, 👼 Ezra’s dad, 🧑‍🧒‍🧒 the kids Chrisyyy 💍 and my husband a VERY HAPPY BIRTHDAY 🥳 by @lianneruddle

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3 months ago

⭐ ROO ROO ⭐

Our sensitive caring soul, the one who feels it all, who puts his arm round you and say ‘it’s ok’, football mad with limitless energy. What a gentleman you are. The protective one.

This last year you’ve grown so much and your resilience has been inspiring to see.

HAPPY 9th BIRTHDAY Rudy. We’re so proud of you, the best son, big brother and friend.

We love to you the moon and back 79 times 🌙 🩵 by @lianneruddle

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3 months ago