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Lillith Fields Bear

@lillithfieldsbear

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This is me trying. At least I'm trying.✨

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It's the update no one wants to give and no wants to hear. 25 years ago today, Bear and I had our first kiss. 20 years ago today, Bear and I got married and one year ago, our divorce was finalized. I'm sorry if you're just finding out. We took our time sharing, because we wanted our kids to know first. It took us a long time to tell them, because it turns out, there's no good time to break your children's hearts. Afterwards, we wanted to give them plenty of time to adjust without hearing about it all the time. After that, we just wanted to focus on moving forward and rebuilding our family in a new way. However, privacy is feeling more like deception these days, especially when people congratulate you on your 20th Anniversary, so to clear up any confusion, I thought it was time to make a public announcement.
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Having been on the other side of announcements like this, I know friends and families grieve relationships ending that aren't theirs, because we're all part of each other's stories and so I'm sorry if this caught you by surprise. You were all part of our highlight reel...our celebrations, our vacations, our family parties and that was very real and those memories will always be cherished. Unfortunately, as we all know, those moments are only part of the story. At some point, we had to decide whether we defined a successful marriage by the number of years we could collect before we died, or if we defined it by doing the right thing for everyone involved, even when it hurts and even when it's not what we dreamed. We chose the latter.
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I know people might not want marriage advice from someone who is divorced, but I'll share the main thing I wish I had known. Never mistake building a life together for building a love together. Things we do to build a life together, like working, cleaning, saving, raising children, etc... are one part of building a love together, but ask yourself, if I had no partner, would I still do those things? If the answer is yes, then they aren't for your partner. Figure out what is only for you two and do a lot more of that. Connection first, connection always! We're still team love and know there will be happiness. ✨ by @lillithfieldsbear

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a month ago

The boys handled it better. ✨ by @lillithfieldsbear

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2 months ago

Thrilled as always, they're just internal celebrators! Last year of Elementary School for Aspen. Last year of Middle School for Ash. Second to last year of High School for River. (Thank God) I'm not ready for him to graduate yet. 😬 Let's do it! #FirstDay #2026-2027 #RiverActuallyStartedLastWeek #Oops🤷🏼‍♀️ by @lillithfieldsbear

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2 months ago

Well... Since school is about to start, please enjoy our traditional "not so" straight out of school picture. 🤦🏼‍♀️ Summer is too fast you guys! by @lillithfieldsbear

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2 months ago

Close enough. 🫶🏼 You can't take Swifties anywhere. #BTS #BTSMadridConcert #Swiftie #AllTooWell #AGirlCanHope #BTSArmy #WhyIsEveryoneInTheirReputationEra by @lillithfieldsbear

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4 months ago

I'm so confused. I swear the sign said Eras Tour. 🤔 #BTSArmy #NewestRecruit #MadridBTSConcert #AspenIsAFan #JiminIsMyBiasOrSomethingLikeThat #IPretendedToKnowAllTheWords by @lillithfieldsbear

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4 months ago

Happy Father's Day Bear! The kids shared a few of their favorite things about you and I love that they are all about time spent with you. River said watching Miami Dolphins games and going on vacations with you, Ash said floating the river with you and Aspen said that you always take her and her friends to the pool and shopping. Thank you for always finding the energy to show up for our kids and make them feel loved and special. ✨ by @lillithfieldsbear

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4 months ago

Worth it! ✨ by @lillithfieldsbear

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5 months ago

The original five all back together... Hallelujah! Flight Benefits... Hallelujah! It's rare we're all together, much less even on the same continent these days. So, when Jessica came back to the US for a work trip and made a stop in Kansas City, I hopped the first plane home myself. ❤️ by @lillithfieldsbear

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5 months ago

The nostalgia in me sees the nostalgia in you. Sorry guys...I couldn't resist. Oh and of course I still have that poster. 😂

#90s #GooGooDolls #Iris #UtahStateUniversity #IHopeYouHadTheTimeOfYourLife by @lillithfieldsbear

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7 months ago

Apparently, there's a trend about the immense value of 30 year friendships. Well girls... We're almost there.... Year 29 and counting. We just had the most fun 23 hours in Portland, to surprise Lindsay for her birthday (2 weeks early) and every time I do one of these whirlwind trips, I'm reminded how worth it it is to take the time, even if you think one day isn't going to be enough. Not to be obnoxious, but I love us! @lindsaycarlson11 @beccabickham by @lillithfieldsbear

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8 months ago

2016... Of all years to pick! I guess you just want a mom to cry alone in her hotel room. Ash still had surfer blonde curls. River was finishing up Kindergarten and all our lives were about to change for the better when Aspen joined us in March! The pictures from this year might be my favorite of all time. It was peak childhood for my family and the kids all adored each other. My hair was terrible and I felt hideous in all my clothes but didn't have the time, money or energy to do anything about it. All three kids shared a tiny bedroom and there were toys and baby equipment everywhere. We were constantly on top of each other and desperately waiting for construction to start on our townhouse, but now I see the things I'd forgotten about... Like the joy of racecar shopping carts and the tenderness of sink baths. How sweet it was that all of my kids were always on the floor playing with each other and just happy to be together, silly and giggling and Noodle was still alive. I remember trying to live in the moment when I was "in the moment" and just being too exhausted to appreciate it. Thank goodness for pictures and videos, because there are two fundamental truths parenthood has taught me: babies don't keep and life is bittersweet and sometimes takes perspective to fully embrace it. by @lillithfieldsbear

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9 months ago