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Lindsey Williams

@linzwilliams__

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Jesus first † Luke 18:27
Faith, marriage, cooking & intentional living
💍 @qwilliams__ Founder/Biz: @vampped
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“I have found the one whom my soul loves.”
Song of Solomon 3:4

Photography: @bengluntz
Makeup: @devonduff by @linzwilliams__

Before you get offended, ask yourself what modern dating has actually taught us.

To sleep together before commitment. Move in together before covenant. Keep our options open in case someone better comes along. Pick apart every imperfection in another person while refusing to confront the selfishness in ourselves.

We’ve made dating an endless audition for someone better, and somehow convinced ourselves that the longer we audition someone, the more prepared we’ll be for marriage.
So we pretend. We entertain temptation. We give people access to our bodies and our lives while avoiding the conversations that could reveal we’re not even pursuing the same future.

And five years later, we’re shocked when it doesn’t work.

But here’s what I think we’re missing.
You will NEVER find a perfect person. And you are not one either.

We spend so much time dating to discover everything that’s wrong with someone, when marriage has taught me how much God needed to reveal about what was wrong in ME.
Marriage isn’t a reward for finding someone who meets every expectation you’ve created. It’s a covenant that requires you to confront your ego, surrender your selfishness, learn to serve, and love someone through their imperfections while God works on yours.

And that’s exactly why I believe the enemy (aka demonic spirits) would rather keep us distracted by temporary pleasure, endless options, and fear of commitment than see two people pursuing God together.

The world tells you to take your time finding someone who makes you happy.

God tells you to commit to a covenant quickly and seek Him. by @linzwilliams__

The last time I was here at the Colosseum, I was looking through a lens of, “Wow, I can’t believe I’m actually here.” It felt like seeing the movie Gladiator in real life.

But as I dove deeper, I realized how horrific it was that Rome deliberately turned bloodshed into entertainment for its people. It made me think about what happens when we see violence so often that we stop being horrified by it.

I dug deeper and learned that Christian tradition connects this very stadium with believers martyred for refusing to deny Jesus. The term “thrown to the lions” was an actual term to throw Christians into the lions den and be martyred.

I also learned about the poet Juvenal’s phrase “bread and circuses.” He criticized how people had become consumed with food and entertainment instead of public life. And that is exactly what Rome wanted: keep people fed and distracted, and they become easier to rule.

I see parallels today with football stadiums, TV shows, and endless entertainment. We can become so consumed with watching that we stop paying attention to our own lives and our relationship with God.

The world is a stage. by @linzwilliams__

I stopped objectifying myself to appease other men.

Proverbs 5 warns us about the immoral woman whose lips drip with honey. We know how to capture men’s attention and use our bodies in ways that can lead to destruction. We convince ourselves it’s harmless, but we are tempting men toward adultery, encouraging lust, and teaching women that being oversexualized is their greatest currency.

Here’s what changed when I started following Jesus:

1. I stopped believing my body was my biggest asset.

I used to feel obligated to offer sexual favors when men took me to dinner. After being baptized and saved, I realized my body wasn’t for sale for a measly $40 salad at Fleming’s.

2. I stopped confusing sexual attention with empowerment.

Society tells women that spreading our legs is empowering, but I experienced the opposite. There is nothing more empowering than saying no, setting boundaries, and finding your worth through Jesus instead of male validation.

3. I stopped giving men access to intimacy without commitment.

I believe God designed us for one partner and that intimacy creates a soul tie beyond the physical. I even waited until marriage to kiss my husband because I refused to let physical intimacy cloud my judgment about his character.

4. I stopped trying to attract men and started becoming a wife.

A man looking for a wife wants more than sexual pleasure. He wants intelligence, nurturing, wisdom, character, and someone he can build a family with. I’ve heard countless men say they’re looking for a wife, not a side chick.

5. I stopped seeking approval from men and started seeking approval from God.

When I began reading the Bible, I realized how destructive my behavior had been to my future. I stopped pursuing worldly validation and started pursuing Jesus.

Through that transformation, I met my husband, got engaged in three weeks, and was married within two months.

I wanted to become a wife, but first I had to stop living like an immoral woman. by @linzwilliams__

Trying to stay humble but everyone here has a big head. by @linzwilliams__

You want him to be your husband, but are you willing to be honest about these five things?

1. Do I love who he is, or am I taking on another project and calling it love?

You’re marrying the person in front of you. If your yes depends on everything you plan to change about him, be honest: you’re attached to someone you’ve imagined. Meet him where he is and grow together, but stop confusing fixing someone with loving them.

2. Are we ready to stop being selfish, or do we both expect to be served without having to serve?

Being single for so long, I didn’t realize how comfortable I was putting myself first. Marriage exposes that. Following Jesus is teaching me to have a servant heart, but I cannot claim that while demanding my own way in everything. This goes for both of us. You cannot expect the devotion of a spouse while living like your decisions only affect you.

3. Is God actually our foundation, or am I saying yes to a man who respects my faith but has no intention of living it with me?

Him liking that you love Jesus is not the same as him following Jesus. This will touch your conflict, finances, faithfulness and how you raise your kids. If God leads your life, why are you brushing aside whether he wants to follow Him? Chemistry will not resolve that difference.

4. Are we ready to become each other’s first family priority, or are we still more concerned with disappointing our parents than hurting our marriage?

This struck me when I got married: we are a family now. Love and honor your parents, but stop treating your spouse like the outsider whose needs come last. You flew from the nest. You cannot promise to protect your marriage while letting everyone else decide how it operates.

5. Am I ready to love an imperfect person, or do I expect him to keep me happy and call him the problem every time I’m not?

Your husband is your partner, not God. He is a sinner, just like you. That calls for grace and accountability, not excuses for mistreatment. But you also have to own your heart. Before you blame him for your unhappiness, ask what you’re expecting him to fix that you refuse to face.

You want a covenant. Are you willing to live like you’re by @linzwilliams__

Could see myself living here. Could not see myself helping with the yard. by @linzwilliams__

feels like I’ve been waiting a lifetime… by @linzwilliams__

People hear that I married my husband within two months and want to know how.

These were the standards I held and the green flags that mattered to me.

1. I never chased my husband.
I think as women, we are so anxious to fall in love that we end up making the first move. But men don’t feel good about this because they haven’t won anything. If you’ve already shown him you’ll be there regardless, why does he need to work to win your affection? I wanted my husband to pursue me, not the other way around.

2. I saved physical intimacy.
I didn’t kiss my husband on the lips or have intimacy until we were married. He knew the terms from the get-go and was intrigued because most women nowadays don’t wait. When I got baptized, I realized my body wasn’t meant to be given to just anyone. As God intended, it was meant for a covenant with one man.

3. We were after the same lifestyle and he was after my heart.
I was very specific about how I wanted to live my life and wanted a marriage focused on biblical teachings. Thankfully, he was all in on that same vision.

4. I wanted to be a mother and a good wife.
After spending most of my life as a career woman, I realized I didn’t want to lead my marriage. I wanted to care for my home and be the “helper” God designed us to be. I wanted a man who wanted to lead our family and follow God.

5. My husband could tell I have high standards.
He knew I didn’t let just any man into my life. My husband is six years younger than me, but he was ready to take care of me in the way I needed. We were aligned on faith, marriage, family and our future.

If a man told me he wasn’t ready, I was out. I took that as honesty. As women, we sit in things that aren’t for us for too long and then wonder why five years later he still hasn’t asked us to marry.

If marriage is what you desire in your heart, find a man who is ready, ladies. 💍 by @linzwilliams__

This is Santa Maria Antiqua, an ancient Christian church inside the Roman Forum, with paintings dating back more than 1,000 years.

Walking through it, you’re surrounded by images of Jesus, biblical stories, and people whose faith shaped how they lived and what they were willing to sacrifice.

What moved me was seeing how faith carried into their service, their suffering, and even the way they approached death.

It’s easy to say we follow Jesus. These stories challenge us to consider how deeply we’re allowing Him to change the way we live. by @linzwilliams__

We stumbled upon a noble family’s private art collection here in Rome, and to our surprise, there was so much artwork of Jesus, Mary stories from the Bible. We weren’t planning to be here, but I felt like the Holy Spirit had led us to this museum.

What a beautiful blessing to find ourselves in the presence of so much biblical art.

Jesus Christ is king. by @linzwilliams__

Just seconds after we filmed this clip, I got onto a metro that was leaving quicker than expected. My husband and I had multiple pieces of luggage in our hands, and we weren’t even sure we were going to make it on.

As the doors opened, we tried to jet on as quickly as possible. I was in front of my husband and couldn’t see him. I was just so focused on us not missing this train.

I jumped on with three pieces of luggage, relieved, and turned around.

The doors closed behind me, and my husband was standing on the other side.

The train immediately pulled away, and it felt like we were being ripped apart from each other.

All I could do was cry. I felt like I was 18 years old again, losing my father in an instant. My abandonment just rushed over me.

I knew logically I could get off at the next stop. But in that moment, I wasn’t an adult who knew what to do. I was an abandoned child again, watching someone I loved disappear.

It felt like this train was taking my person away from me.

I don’t think I realized until that moment how deeply I had always dreamed of having one person. Someone who stays.

And I know what you’re thinking: you can just get off at the next stop. Yes, I know that. But what if we never had a moment together again. Some peoples loved ones pass away without even having a chance to say goodbye.

But there was something so divine about what God taught me in those few seconds.

People matter. Moments of intentionality matter. Every second I have with my husband is a blessing, and He chose me to have these moments with him.

Just a reminder for me, and whoever else needs it, to not take the people you love for granted. ❤️ by @linzwilliams__