Instagram story viewer> @louisa67> Posts

Louisa Nixon

@louisa67

53.8K

followers

7540

following

💔 Blindsided by no contact/estrangement epidemic??
❤️‍🩹 REM • Rewire Emotional Mastery
🎸 Suicide survivor • Musician
Work with me on Zoom ↓

POSTS STORIES REELS TAGGED

My son may never hear the Kylie song I sang for him last night.

But I sang it anyway… on lefty’s stage where Paul Kelly played ..

After two years of learning guitar bleeding 🩸 fingers for ten minutes a day on an app, I stood on the stage at Lefty’s and sang “Can’t Get You Out of My Head.”

For my son.

We have been estranged for three years.

When Kylie appeared at the MCG with that enormous red football, I knew he would see her and see me.

He has played AFL since he was five and now coaches women’s AFL teams.

Kylie and I happen to be the same age and the same tiny size.

I didn’t sing to beg my son to come back.

I sang because I finally understood that I can love him without allowing his silence to decide how I live the rest of my life.

You don’t have to stop loving them.

But you do have to stop abandoning yourself.

Nearly two years ago, when Paul left with our dog Oscar, I couldn’t control another person leaving.

But I could control what I did for ten minutes that day.

So I picked up a guitar.

Ten minutes became two years.

Confidence didn’t come first.

The ten minutes came first.

Last night, I stood where I had watched Paul Kelly, Alex Lloyd and Delta Goodrem perform.

Anna drove from the Gold Coast. Friends came. Dan Wittam and Lisa created this extraordinary open mic through Honey Badger Events.

And my beautiful ex, Dobbo, who nurtured this dream with guitars, stood beside me… he gave me the Enya guitar — the last relationship that taught me the truth ..
After my suicide attempt, NeuroTransformational Therapy was the first therapy that truly shifted anything.

Thank you, Luke Hawkins, and especially Russell Gilbert, who helped me rewire fear, anger, sadness, shame, hurt and guilt, then rebuild my belief in myself.

Five years ago, my family gave me a card saying, “Anything is possible.”

Last night, my brain had proof.

Estrangement can turn your life into a waiting room.

Please don’t die with your dreams still inside you.

If someone’s silence has made your life smaller and you’re ready to stop abandoning yourself while waiting for them, DM me REM.

Louisa Nixon xo
The Confidence Whisperer
Rewire Emotio taken in Lefty's Music Hall by @louisa67

4

1

16 days ago

1

1

18 days ago

CONFESSION:
Years ago, a friend went to a Tony Robbins event, came home all fired up, started her business and would not shut up about how “life changing” it was. (ever had this??)

I was so mentally and emotionally bankrupt at the time that I quietly blocked her.

In my head I was like, “Ok, calm down, you’re clearly brainwashed.” 🙃
The truth?
I was triggered
because she was rising
and I was barely coping.
I did not know what to do with my own pain, so it was easier to roll my eyes at hers.

Fast forward to now:
I have just crewed not one but two of @lukehawkins Neuro Transformation Therapy events.

First NTT Prac as a student who swore,
“I’m coming back in a year to crew this.”

Then NTT Masters, back in the room as coaching crew.

I've met many other coaches along the way..but this is like nothing I've ever experienced in my healing journey after my suicide attempt..that the techniques actually shifted me..when NOTHING else did.

And here is the plot twist…
I am now absolutely that “this changed my life” person I used to block.
The difference is, I understand why now. 💥

At Luke' Hawkins Masters NTT at Sydney Stamford Airport I watched things I will not forget:
🧠 Incredible humans levelling up, facing very uncomfortable truths instead of hiding behind work, humour or shutdown
🦁 Men roaring like lions on stage, reclaiming power they had buried for decades
🌬 A whole room of humans in breathwork, bodies shaking, tears streaming, walls finally cracking open

What hit me was this:
In that room, every single human had deep pain.
If that is just one training room in Sydney, you can imagine what is walking around out there every day.
Smiling. Working. Scrolling. Coping.
And quietly drowning.

Last Sunday afternoon still feels like a dream..the 12 days of NTT..
A four hour Christmas party on a boat in Sydney Harbour.
Cruising under the Harbour Bridge.
Looking at the Opera House while dancing in a red dress on a boat with stars in my hair..

Surrounded by people who are doing the work and cheering each other on.

Continue in the comments... by @louisa67

11

7

10 months ago

What if the thing people praise you for…

is the thing keeping you stuck?

Being nice.
Staying calm.
Letting it go.
Saying “I’m fine.”
Keeping the peace.

Sometimes that is not healing.

Sometimes it is avoidance cos it’s just easier and more comfortable .

Sometimes it is denial dressed up as growth. 🫣

Because underneath “I don’t want conflict” might be:

“I know what happens when I tell the truth.”

Underneath “I’ve let it go” might be:

“I stopped expecting this to change #.”

Underneath “I understand why they did it” might be:

“Their story still feels safer to look at than mine.”

And underneath “I’m fine” might be:

“Please don’t make me feel this.”

This is where trauma gets confused ..

It does not always look like falling apart.

Sometimes it looks like being easy to be around.

Quiet.
Low-maintenance.
Forgiving too quickly.
Explaining away the hurt.
Getting on with it.

But if the wound has not been felt, cleared, and integrated…

it does not disappear.

It just gets quieter for a while.

Inside Rewire Emotional Mastery, we work with what your system learned to do automatically:

go quiet, stay nice, overthink, people-please, keep the peace, and disappear before anyone can reject you.

Because real healing is not becoming easier to deal with.

It is learning to come back to yourself. The real you not the character you’ve created to survive ..

So tell me:

When something hurts, what do you do first?

Go quiet?
Get busy?
Say “I’m fine”?
Keep the peace?
Make excuses for them?

Comment the one you recognise.
Love ,Louisa xo#inspiration #love #live #art l taken in Brisbane City, Queensland, Australia by @louisa67

0

1

7 hours ago

We’ve all decided diamonds are precious -

We’ve made them a symbol of love and commitment.

But when someone you love betrays you, which doubt cuts deeper?

“Was I not even worth loving?”

Or—

“How can I trust myself when I trusted them?”

Imagine the person you love the most. Feel safest with. Trust the most.

You’ve invested so much time, effort, energy and life with them.

Now imagine you’re going skydiving together.🤔

Right before you jump, they unclip your pack, pull your parachute off your back—

and kick you out of the plane.

As you fall, you turn onto your back. You look up.

They’re looking out the window with a big smile on their face.

You’re falling.
And falling.

With all that time to think about it.

Then BAM.
You hit the ground.

But you don’t die.

You break every bone in your body. You can barely breathe. You’re lying there, gasping for air.

Immobile.
Stuck.

Then the person who kicked you out comes down, flying tandem with somebody else.

Laughing. Smiling.

They land beside you, look over, smile and laugh—

and walk away.

That’s what betrayal trauma can feel like.

And this is the hardest thing to grasp:

Their betrayal has nothing to do with whether you’re lovable.

Whatever their pain, coping mechanisms or dysfunction, their bullshit does not determine your worth.

Yet you can KNOW they betrayed you and still lie awake asking:

“What was wrong with me?”

I lost $20,000 in a diamond scam.

I used to say I didn’t want diamonds. Everybody had them. I chose green parti sapphires when I married.

My music name is the Pink Diamond. Forged under pressure.

We attach so much meaning to a stone. But someone else’s lies cannot tell us what we’re worth.

I was worth loving before all of this .
So were you.

You might know you didn’t deserve it.

But knowing that hasn’t stopped you questioning yourself.

In REM—Rewire Emotional Mastery—we can work on that self-blame, rebuilding trust in your judgement and practising boundaries.

If you recognise yourself here, message me REM.

We can start with one question: has it been harder to trust other people, or to trust yourself?

Or share with someo taken in Brisbane City, Queensland, Australia by @louisa67

0

0

a day ago

Have you ever been treated so unfairly you could actually feel yourself losing yourself -

And the crazy thing?

You KNOW you can’t change what someone else does… what’s in your control ? What’s not ?

So why can’t you just let it go?

Watch these two monkeys. 🐒🍇

Same task. Same instructions..

One gets cucumber. The other gets grapes.

And suddenly, all hell breaks loose.

I love this experiment because it raises something we don’t talk about nearly enough.

Fairness isn’t just something we think about. It’s something we react to… a trigger..

Now imagine it’s not a cucumber.

It’s a friend who takes advantage of you.

A partner who betrays your trust.

Or someone you love who cuts you out of their life without a conversation.

You can understand logically that you can’t make another person care, apologise or come back.

But that doesn’t mean your emotions will simply cooperate.

Wayne Dyer used to ask, when you squeeze an orange, what comes out?

Well, what happens when life squeezes YOU?

Here’s what I’d really like to know.

When someone you love treats you unfairly, what gets to you more?

What they actually did?

Or the fact that they don’t seem to understand how much they’ve hurt you?

And please, if you think there’s a third answer, tell me. I’d genuinely like to hear it.

Because understanding what triggers us is one thing. Learning what to do with that reaction is another.

That’s a big part of why I do what I do.. finding the real story at the root and allowing you a different story ..not deepening the shame..I

Louisa xo
The Confidence Whisperer | Rewire Emotional Mastery#inspiration #transformation #art #love #live taken in Brisbane City, Queensland, Australia by @louisa67

0

0

3 days ago

WHY did they need courage to live their OWN lives?

Why was fear making them live a discounted version of their life?

Bronnie Ware heard five regrets repeatedly while working in palliative care, as did I working as
a case manager in aged care ..

1. The courage to live a life true to myself.
(READ THAT AGAIN!)
2. I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.
3. I wish I had The courage to express my true feelings.
4. Stayed in touch with my friends.
5. Let myself be happy.

Look at the word COURAGE.

What had made being themselves, or saying how they felt, so frightening?

If being yourself once cost you affection, approval or belonging, keeping quiet can start to feel like something you have to do… to survive .

You know what to say. You also remember what happened last time.

And when someone stops speaking to you, you can keep obeying the same rules.

Don’t upset them.
Don’t look too happy.
Don’t do anything that might make them pull further away.

Their response is outside your control. But you can spend your days trying to anticipate it.

Bowie says dying is the one thing we know for sure.

Approximately 7,200 people die worldwide every hour. Around 15,100 babies are born.

Dying isn’t rare.

How much of our life are we spending around someone else’s possible reaction?

In REM, Rewire Emotional Mastery, I use neurotransformational therapy to explore where those beliefs began and work at the root of the patterns they keep driving.

Because knowing you want a different life doesn’t automatically make choosing it feel safe.

Tell me if I’ve got this wrong: does one of these regrets already feel familiar?

Comment which number it is, or send it to me in a DM. I’d love to know more about what makes that one so difficult.

Louisa Nixon xo
The Confidence Whisperer
REM | Rewire Emotional Mastery

With credit to Bronnie Ware, The Top Five Regrets of the Dying.#inspiration #transformation #art #love #live taken in Brisbane City, Queensland, Australia by @louisa67

0

1

4 days ago

I cannot believe I married a man coming out of jail for fraud as a quality decision ..

For fraud.

I was young, with an 18-month-old baby, believing I was doing the right thing.

Why do we make the choices we make?

Those swinging doors had more instructions than I did.

Then I heard the bully hummingbird story…BULLY hummingbirds 😳

Three rufous hummingbirds were chasing dozens of others away from the feeders. Plenty of food. The gentle birds just couldn’t get near it.

Feeders that usually needed refilling two or three times a day stayed full.

So she tried harder.

Washed them. Moved them. Half-filled them. Hid them. Boiled more nectar. Threw away gallons nobody had touched.

Moving them had worked before. This time, it didn’t.

Eventually, she took the feeders down.

Except one.

That last little feeder. Hidden away. Still mostly full.

Because the gentle birds had done nothing wrong. Taking their food away triggered the shame.. guilt ..

That’s the bit that gets me.

How many choices do we make because we can’t bear how the other choice will feel?

“If I stop trying, am I giving up on someone I love?”

So you explain it again. Softer. Give another chance. Keep that little opening, just in case.

You’re exhausted. Still hoping. Still wondering what else YOU should have done.

She finally took that last feeder down too. It hurt. She had no guarantee the bullies would leave.

Knowing what needs to change doesn’t make the guilt disappear.

I think about the girl I was. What was she hoping for? What did she believe she could make better?

I want to understand her. She’s had enough blame.

That’s the work I do through Rewire Emotional Mastery: understanding what drives your choices and working through the guilt, fear and self-blame that keep pulling you back.

What have you given up to keep everyone else okay that you want back?

If this hit home, send me a message. Give yourself a moment to hear what YOU need before you decide what to do next.

And if a friend came to mind, share this with her today. Especially the one who keeps asking, “How could I have been so stupid?”

Louisa xo#inspiration #love #art #live #transformation taken in Brisbane City, Queensland, Australia by @louisa67

0

0

5 days ago

THE MOST REPEATED REGRET OF THE DYING

“I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”

Which of these are you still leaving until tomorrow?

You know what you want to change. So what happens when you try? The guilt? The fear? Someone else’s reaction?

Inside REM, Rewire Emotional Mastery, we work on the patterns that keep bringing you back to putting yourself last.

Message me REM. Let’s talk about what you’re ready to stop 🛑 saving for tomorrow..

Louisa xo#inspiration #love #art #live taken in Brisbane City, Queensland, Australia by @louisa67

0

1

6 days ago

The things that break your heart can be the thing that will open your eyes. You will lose people, but not all loss is a tragedy ..

Sometimes rejection is protection. But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.

Another explanation.
Another chance.
Another night wondering what’s wrong with you.

You deserve more. So why do you keep choosing yourself last?

Because knowing your worth and acting on it are two different things. Especially when keeping the peace has always meant swallowing your hurt.

Once you wipe away your tears, claim what you can finally see… and feel..

You don’t have to be grateful for the heartbreak to decide you’ve abandoned yourself enough.

In REM, Rewire Emotional Mastery, we work on the patterns that keep pulling you back into that story at the root..#

Message me CHOOSE if you’d like to talk about what makes putting yourself first so difficult.

Love,
Louisa xo#inspiration #transformation #love #live taken in GOMA Gallery Of Modern Art by @louisa67

2

2

9 days ago

💔 Betrayal didn’t just break your trust in them.

It made you question your own decisions.

So what will another year of waiting cost you? ⏳

If this hit a nerve, you don’t have to just scroll past it.

Comment DECIDE and I’ll send you something I use to help people get out of the fear loop and start trusting themselves again before you even get out of bed…

That’s exactly the work we do inside REM: Rewire Emotional Mastery.

Love,
Louisa xo#inspiration #love #live #art taken in Brisbane City, Queensland, Australia by @louisa67

1

1

10 days ago

“I’m sorry you feel that way.”

Did they take responsibility for what happened?At ALL??

Or did you end up apologising for being hurt?

Gaslighting can leave you questioning what you saw, what you heard, even whether you have a right to be upset.

Respectful phrases open a different conversation.

“I see this matters to you.”
“Help me understand what that was like.”

There’s room for your experience. You don’t have to defend your right to have one.

But what happens when you’ve spent years learning it’s safer to swallow your words?

You manage complicated responsibilities all day. Then one personal conversation goes sideways, and you lie awake wondering if you’re unreasonable for wanting to be heard.

You went into that conversation wanting to talk about what triggered you. What hurt you.

So you explain it again. Softer. Then you apologise for bringing it up.

Somehow, you come out apologising and abandoning yourself.

And what happened to you is still being ignored.

How much of yourself are you editing just to keep the conversation open?

When you’ve learned your needs are too much, that belief becomes a blueprint. It runs the conversation before you open your mouth.

Better phrases don’t change a blueprint…why after a suicide attempt I decided to create what helped me after my reset .

In my six-week REM | Rewire Emotional Mastery programme, we work at the root of that blueprint: why you learned to silence yourself, and how to speak without taking it all back.

I have a few spaces open this month. If you’re tired of swallowing what matters to you, message me HEARD. Tell me what you wish you’d said. We can start there.

If you’re ready to explore working together, I offer a free 45-minute Clarity Zoom. You decide whether it fits.

Louisa xo the confidence whisperer #inspiration #love #live #art #transformation taken in Brisbane City, Queensland, Australia by @louisa67

0

0

11 days ago