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Francesca Budesheim ☾ Nervous System Coach

@lowkeyspiritual

1.9K

followers

478

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helping women reclaim their identity, voice, & boundaries in love & relationships 💛
🧠 therapist-turned-coach · nervous system nerd
⬇️ my method

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If you grew up learning that love was something you had to earn, this one’s for you 🫶

Maybe it looked like being the easy kid. The helpful friend. The partner who never had needs, or at least never said them out loud. Somewhere along the way you learned that being useful kept people close, and being needy pushed them away. So you got really, really good at being useful.

Listen (read) closely: working that hard to be loved will wear you down eventually. You can’t perform your way into feeling safe.

You are allowed to be loved simply because you exist. Not because of what you do for people. Not because of how well you anticipate their needs before they even ask. Just because you’re you.

That’s the work, and it’s some of the most important work you’ll ever do 💕 You don’t have to earn your way into worthiness. Save this for the days you forget 🛟 by @lowkeyspiritual

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a month ago

You’re not tired. You’re depleted from managing everyone else’s feelings. 😮‍💨

That inner monologue on repeat and drafting apologies for boundaries you haven’t even set yet are what happens when you’ve spent years being everyone’s safe place and nobody’s asked if you have one.

High-functioning people-pleasing looks like:
📌 saying yes now, figuring out how at 2am
📌 doing it yourself because asking feels harder than the task
📌 reading a direct text as a threat
📌 believing rest has to be earned before it’s allowed

Which one hit hardest? I’ll go first: mine’s the 2am one. Comment your number below 👇

Follow @lowkeyspiritual for more.

Ready to figure out where you end and everyone else’s needs begin? Book a Discovery Call- link in bio. by @lowkeyspiritual

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2 months ago

I built Low-Key Spiritual because I needed it. Now I’m bringing it somewhere new.

The Low-Key Club is officially moving to Substack- more free essays and tools for everyone, deeper content for paid members, and founding memberships for those who want to go all in.

Come find me. Link in bio. 🤍🌿 by @lowkeyspiritual

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5 months ago

How many of these feel familiar? ⬇️

You can’t relax until everyone else is okay
You over-explain every “no” (if you say it at all)
Compliments and help make you squirm
Resting while others work feels like guilt
You’re everyone’s go-to, yet nobody asks how you’re doing
When you’re not needed, you feel a little invisible

Here’s why: You learned that being helpful was the price of being loved. Your body and brain made a rule: useful = wanted.

It’s time to re-write this “rule.” ✏️

Are you ready to stop over-giving to feel worthy? Comment “RULE” to learn more about re-writing your story.

Follow @lowkeyspiritual for more 💕 by @lowkeyspiritual

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7 hours ago

This is for the one who keeps the peace, holds everything together, and quietly wonders when it’ll be their turn 😒

The extra shift you picked up. The favor you didn’t have time for. The “no worries!” when it was very much a worry. The 11pm text you answered because they might need you.

It adds up, doesn’t it?

Your energy, your time, and your peace are precious. You get to decide who has access to them.

If you read that list and felt a little called out, this is your sign! You don’t have to keep running on empty to be loved.

Comment “ME” and I’ll slide into your DMs. Let’s talk about what it looks like to stop over-giving👇 by @lowkeyspiritual

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a day ago

Boundaries were never meant to be a hiding place 🫶

When you’ve spent years keeping the peace for everyone else, avoidance can feel like a boundary. You finally get some quiet! The problem is the hard conversation, the hurt feelings, and the dread are all still sitting there waiting for you.

A real boundary asks more of you- it asks you to stay in the room, say the thing, and let it be uncomfortable. That’s how you find peace for yourself instead of just borrowing a little from avoiding everyone else.

Which “no” hit home for you? Tell me below 👇 And follow @lowkeyspiritual for more on boundaries that actually bring you peace. by @lowkeyspiritual

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3 days ago

Hi, I’m Francesca, a therapist-turned-Nervous System Coach who helps people stop keeping the peace at their own expense 👋

If you read that list and felt a little called out, I see you!

❤️‍🩹That tight jaw? Your body holding back the words you didn’t say.
❤️‍🩹The racing thoughts at night? Your brain replaying the conversation you wish you’d had.
❤️‍🩹The staying quiet to keep the peace? It works, until you realize the only person without peace is you.

You don’t need to become a different person to feel better, but you do need to remember who you are underneath all the managing, fixing, and smoothing things over. You need to build a voice that says what you mean without softening it into mush. That’s exactly what we do together 👋

Boundaries feel scary (and kind of mean!) at first because they’re new. With the right support, they start to feel like home.

Ready to feel grounded, at home and at ease in your body and in your relationships? DM me “READY” and let’s get to work. by @lowkeyspiritual

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3 days ago

When’s it finally your turn? 🫠

If you’re the peacekeeper, rest probably feels like something you get after everyone else is okay. The problem is there is alllwayyysss one more person to take care of. (And it somehow is never you?!)

This pattern usually starts early, after it was hammered home that having little to no needs is how you stayed safe and loved. Now? You’re nervous system learned that your needs come last and you’re slowly losing steam.

Resting before everyone’s settled can feel selfish, even scary. And resentment is your body’s way of saying it’s been waiting way too long.

My favorite reminders I share with my clients:

1️⃣ Rest first.
2️⃣ Say no sooner.
3️⃣ Ask for help.

They read easy, but they can be so much harder to actually live out. Especially if you only let yourself sit down once the dishes are done, the group chat is handled, your partner’s in a good mood, and your mom’s not upset. Sound familiar? 👀

If you’re ready to let the group chat, your partner, and your mom fend for themselves for a hot minute so you can finally take a breath (and maybe even a nap 😴), DM me and let’s get to work! 💛

Follow @lowkeyspiritual for more ways to put focusing on yourself on the top of your to-do list ✨ by @lowkeyspiritual

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4 days ago

Being the easy one is a lonely way to be loved ❤️‍🩹

You’re the one who says “I’m fine with whatever!”
The one who never needs anything.
The one who smooths it over and smiles even when you’re running on fumes.

People love you for it! But do they know you? 👀

This pattern usually started as a smart way to stay safe. Your nervous system learned that being agreeable kept connection close. And what your body learned, it can unlearn.

You get to take up space and still be loved 💛

It’s time to stop apologizing for having needs, shrinking so everyone else stays comfortable, and feeling unseen by the people closest to you.

👉 DM me “EASY” if you’re ready to show up for yourself the way you’re always showing up for others.

✨ Follow @lowkeyspiritual for more on people-pleasing, boundaries, and coming home to yourself. by @lowkeyspiritual

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6 days ago

Being everyone’s safe place is exhausting 🪫

If you checked off more than one of these, it makes sense. At some point, staying tuned in to everyone else’s feelings is what kept you safe. Your body got really good at scanning, smoothing, and fixing, and it never got the memo that it’s allowed to stop.

So now you’re the one holding it all together, and quietly falling apart when no one’s watching.

The good news? Your body learned this pattern, which means it can learn a new one too. It can learn that you’re allowed to rest, even when someone else isn’t okay.

That’s the shift that we can create together 💪

Follow @lowkeyspiritual for real talk on boundaries, people-pleasing, and finding your no.

If you’re ready to stop running on empty so everyone else can feel okay, comment READY and I’ll reach out. by @lowkeyspiritual

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7 days ago

Plot twist: it was never the carbs 🍞😮‍💨

When you’re everyone’s emotional support human, your nervous system never gets to clock out. All day long it’s:

1️⃣ Scanning faces and tones for any sign someone’s upset
2️⃣ Bracing your jaw, shoulders, and breath so you stay “calm”
3️⃣ Running on stress hormones to keep everyone else okay stuck in survival mode, burning through energy just to keep you on guard and by 2pm, the tank is empty. Snacks and coffee can’t refill what hypervigilance drains!

If you’re tired of being the one everyone leans on while nobody notices you’re barely standing, of@feeling guilty for resting, needing things, or taking up space, and Tired of being tired it’s time to do something about it.

Comment “TIRED” and let’s get your nervous system out of overdrive 🫶

Follow @lowkeyspiritual if you’re ready to stop being everyone’s emotional support human. by @lowkeyspiritual

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8 days ago

Hi, I’m Francesca 👋 Therapist turned Nervous System Coach. I help people who are really good at taking care of everyone else learn to take care of themselves too.

Maybe that’s you:
-You’re the easy one.
-The one who smooths things over.
-The person who says “it’s fine,” and makes sure everyone else is okay before you even check in with yourself.

Keeping the peace kept you safe once. Now it’s draining your energy, muffling your voice, and keeping the people you love from ever really knowing you.

The good news? You can recoup every one of these costs. It starts with putting yourself back on the list of people you take care of 🛟

If you’re ready to stop paying for everyone else’s comfort with your own and start feeling at home in your relationships, comment 🪫 and I’ll reach out.

Follow @lowkeyspiritual for real talk on boundaries, people-pleasing, and finding your no. by @lowkeyspiritual

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9 days ago