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Lyzz Schwegler

@lyzzschwegler

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Never for money, always for love
Co-founder / SVP of Digital @states.win. BFFs with @world.of.frankie

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One thing that’s funny is when someone dies, the one thing you want more than anything becomes the one thing you can’t have.

Miss you, dad. Wish you were here. taken in Mirepoix, Midi-Pyrenees, France by @lyzzschwegler

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2 months ago

Back in December when my dad died and we decided to move to California this year, we realized the next 8 months were going to be logistical hell. That description only scratches the surface, and the vast majority of it has fallen on @my_bizarre_existence.

For the last 5 months, Frances, Frankie and I have been primarily in Long Beach while Kevin has bounced between spending time with us in CA, completing renovations and packing up the house in NJ, liquidating an entire warehouse of sound gear, teaching and writing for drum corps in Japan and Ohio, and somehow finding time to write for the 10+ bands he’s committed to this year.

I often joke that we’ve been in a “long distance marriage” this year, but it’s really true. Since January, we’ve only been together as a family for a handful of weeks in total. I’ve been functionally a single mom, with no fewer than 6 cross-country flights by myself with a toddler (so far!). But all of that seems genuinely easy in comparison to what Kevin’s been going through.

Still, we’ve been able to find many moments of laughter and fun – and every second feels so much more important because there are so few.

I think a lot of men and a lot of marriages would have broken under this level of strain. There have been times when I’ve been pretty worried about his physical and mental health, but never our marriage – that has always been the life raft that we’ve clung to together.

Today, he’s overseeing the movers at our house in NJ, and tomorrow he’ll get back in the car to drive out to OH and get back to drum corps. If you see him soon, give him hug (and buy him a drink!). And if he owes you a chart or an email, I promise he’ll get to it soon!

Anyway that’s all to say… Kev, we love you so very much. Words won’t ever be enough. ♥️ by @lyzzschwegler

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4 months ago

A year ago today this app started serving me posts about “maternal mental health day.” That’s when I realized not all new moms felt like me, and I wasn’t just “tired.” That’s the day I realized I really needed help.

If you’ve seen me in person you’ve probably heard me talk about how hard my post-partum experience was. For months, I felt completely overwhelmed; like my brain was constantly being pulled apart bit by bit. I felt incredibly isolated but simultaneously crowded out, I felt like my entire identity and life that I’d spent the previous 22 adult years building was crumbling before my eyes. I would get trapped in PTSD flashbacks to the day she was born. I felt I was never meant to be a mom. I felt we’d made a huge mistake.

These were some of the worst thoughts that have ever passed through my head. I share them so that if you’ve ever thought them too, now you know that you’re not alone.

Yes, there were special moments. But honestly, not many. It’s not an experience I ever wish to repeat and it’s one of the many reasons Frances will always be the lucky winner of our undivided attention.

It isn’t like that for everybody (or so I’m told!), but I have come to understand that my experience is much more common than you might think.

If I’m lucky enough to catch even one other new mom who’s struggling right now, please message me. I know it’s impossible to believe but it really DOES get better. SO much better!

Where the hell was @my_bizarre_existence in all of this? Right there next to me, of course. It was a very hard time for him too, and he did everything he could to help me get better. That was the one silver lining in it all — I came out more certain than ever that I married the right person.

Anyway if you’re still reading, I’ll end by saying I’m fine now! Seriously! Talk therapy helped. EMDR worked miracles. Coming back to CA was absolutely critical. And time, which heals so many things, took care of the rest.

So if you see me posting nothing but my daughter, it’s not because I’m particularity proud of being a mom. But I AM proud of making it through an incredibly dark time, and I’m so very grateful that I’m still here with her. by @lyzzschwegler

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5 months ago

♥️ taken in Long Beach, California by @lyzzschwegler

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10 months ago

My dad died a week ago. This is him over the summer with Frances, who honestly might have brought more joy to him than any of us.

The last few years had aged him more than he wanted to admit, but he was still riding his bike 20+ miles at a time, teaching at Stanford, and going back and forth between France and California. His declined precipitously over a period of a couple weeks, which felt shocking and sudden, but I’m also incredibly grateful that my sister, my mom, and I were able to be there with him.

My dad was always larger than life, for us and for anyone who knew him. We were so lucky to have him in our lives for so long… I just wish we’d been a little luckier. taken in Mirepoix, Midi-Pyrenees, France by @lyzzschwegler

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10 months ago

This baby loves sushi. @mglier 📸 taken in Long Beach, California by @lyzzschwegler

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10 months ago

The best moment of any wedding ever (wait for it). I can’t wait for Frances to see this and say “no way, you guys used to be fun?!”

Anyway it turns out a lot of life can happen in two years. Some of it has been pretty hard but loving you never is. Happy anniversary @my_bizarre_existence 🤍 taken in Milford, New Jersey by @lyzzschwegler

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a year ago

You and me, we got our own sense of time taken in Stanhope, New Jersey by @lyzzschwegler

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a year ago

40. Brave new decade 🎂 taken in Stanhope, New Jersey by @lyzzschwegler

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2 years ago

One month with Frances 🤍 taken in Stanhope, New Jersey by @lyzzschwegler

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2 years ago

Amazing how your whole world can get so small and yet so big at the same time 🤍 taken in Stanhope, New Jersey by @lyzzschwegler

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2 years ago

Some weeks go by where nothing much happens, and some weeks your entire life changes forever.

We left home on Monday so I could attend our annual staff retreat in DC, and tomorrow we head back only slightly the worse for wear and with something so indescribable, even simple words fail.

Frances Gabrielle Schwegler LeBoeuf
Born 2/6/25 at 4:48 AM
4 lbs 10oz

Frances after great grandmothers on both sides; Gabrielle for Gabriel Sound, the company owned by Kevin’s two late mentors Erik and Todd.

Grateful to the doctors for catching some late breaking preeclampsia, grateful to my mom for getting on a cross country redeye, grateful to my in laws for whisking away Frankie and stocking our house with food, and most of all grateful to Kevin. I thought I couldn’t be happier than the day I married you, but looking into your eyes while our daughter was being born are seconds I wish I could live in forever. taken in Morristown, New Jersey by @lyzzschwegler

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2 years ago