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m1rrag

@m1rrag

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this 1s a lil bettr
#seattle #spaceneedle #queenanne by @m1rrag

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4 days ago

look the saucer that's at the little park down the street from my house just returned fresh off the moon and perched upon its silly little stand for another delightful afternoon of world domination! #worldsfair #worldsnotfair by @m1rrag

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7 days ago

by @m1rrag

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7 days ago

by @m1rrag

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3 months ago

Freaky Pup by @m1rrag

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3 months ago

Spit Rat @seattlenoisemusic by @m1rrag

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3 months ago

gonna miss this lovely home i got to live in this summer while figuring my new way around the new life. this house has been a warm, supportive welcome to the city. by @m1rrag

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3 months ago

(8 by @m1rrag

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4 months ago

🎶🍍📺🎬🍃🤘 by @m1rrag

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5 months ago

Update: doing better. The library/libby app recommended me this book called "It's Okay to Not Look For The Meaning of Life" by Jikisai Minami. I'm pretty into it so far. It's countering a lot of modernist progressivist pressures our generation has put on us that tend to downplay the humbleness of family, localism, and care work, for example. But in a way that feels radically working class humble, rather than some reactionary call to return to conservative values or simple times that never were. Rather than a rich kid telling you you should do more, do better, fill perfectionist ideals of how things ought to work, when really sometimes the best we can do is just take care with those in our immediate vicinity. Try to build power to speak truth to it but you do need to stay aware of what is keeping you grounded and alive. That's all me though-- the book doesn't exactly say that stuff outright but that's how it feels on my brain I guess: the hug of humble soil, cooling my feet, silt for my toes to scrunch while I play the game of when to wait and when to move.
'
By the way a lot of folks came up to me IRL this past week to say its not just me in this fucked rut. So, in addition to those who commented to the last post, know it's a lot of us. I'm good now. I am moving towards accepting certain sets of conditions I fear will tie me and trap me that I have been running from and maybe that will be a good thing or maybe it will be a bad thing. Maybe all will sublimated by fascism which will necessitate eternal change which my body (and many other bodies) can't do (especially with such minimal healthcare). There is some selfish zen advice out there and some selfless zen advice out there. I'm just happy to have a way to rest my neck to read.
'
side note the photographs in the background are from an old calendar of fine art bread photography by @film.bread.rocknroll
#inthesetimes #prismglasses #breadandcircus by @m1rrag

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6 months ago

I don't know how to get a stable job. I didn't know that becoming an aerial instructor and then producing my own show after trying to do humanitarian work would register no better than a giant gap in my resumé. No one told me that you have to be totally settled and set in your sustainable income by 34 or you'd be screwed for life. My father who I didn't grow up with told me I had to pick a major and stick with it in college but I didn't understand why, especially since my first university wouldn't let me study the professions I already had when I entered. I ended up scattered across 5 mediums. I tried to get out and get normal but I didn't know how and I failed. I didn't know you needed pills to calm the panic attacks and I didn't know you needed to have another job lined up before you quit the one that wasn't working. I didn't know you have to stay if a job is working, even if the rest of your life isn't working. I didn't have access and still don't have access to mental health care in Olympia. I didn't know that employers don't care that you'll give them ample notice or that you have endless hard and soft skills and can learn things very quickly. I didn't know that all stops mattering after you're young. When I talk to people about how it has been hard to land a job they're incredulous. They say "but you're so skilled." And now I say "well because I was self employed as an artist, I'm actually technically a criminal in the US." I think most places would rather hire an ex con than someone who looks like they actually broke free (I didn't; it was just what worked best at the time, until it didn't).

The thing is, no one is free from capitalism, especially not artists. We're just more foolish in our expression; risky in living weird. The fascist difference is the lifting of the illusion that freedom of expression could ever be compatible with the ruling class totalitarian sublimination of workers lives to serve its own endlessly consuming destruction-based decadence. by @m1rrag

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7 months ago

Trumpet + transient manipulations + loops
#loops #transients #feedback #trumpet #thewayout by @m1rrag

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8 months ago