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Kayla Moffitt | Adoptive Mama + TBRI Practitioner

@makingthemoffitts

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mama to 6 🫶
adoption • foster care
trauma-informed parenting
the fight for joy for the mamas in the middle of it all ✨

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hey yall 👋

if you’re new here, welcome! and if you’ve been here a while, thanks for sticking with me through all of the hard and holy and truly hilarious parts of this life!

i’m Kayla, former foster, now adoptive and bio mama to six!

this is the space for honest stories, trauma-informed parenting, a faith that limps through life more often than I’d like to admit, and the passionate pursuit of finding joy in the middle of it all.

let’s be friends. what brought you here? let me know below ⬇️

#makingthemoffitts #thisisfostercare #thisisadoption #fostermama #adoptivemama by @makingthemoffitts

six years ago, five siblings walked through my front door. we’ve been a forever family since june of 2021, and i’ve spent every day since then learning (and relearning again and again and again) what it means to become a family through adoption and how to honor every part of the triad.

i don’t have it all figured out, and i never will, but i am ready to spend this #nationaladoptionawarenessmonth alongside you as we learn from each other, ask hard questions, share our stories, and understand that there’s room at the table for all of us.

follow along so you don’t miss tomorrow 🫶

and head over to my stories where i’m inviting you to ask send your questions about adoption or our story!

#makingthemoffitts #adoptionawareness #thisisadoption #thisisfostercare by @makingthemoffitts

Six years ago today, our family went from two to seven.

HOLY MOLY. 😅

Anniversaries like this are complicated. There’s joy on one side, and loss on another. Tonight, we’re holding both carefully while keeping it simple with a silly spooky movie on tv and too many sweet snacks filling our bellies.
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If you’re new here, hey! I’m Kayla. I write about foster care, adoption, complex-needs parenting, and the fight for joy in the middle of all of it.

Stick around and let’s find that for joy together. 😍

#makingthemoffitts #thisisfostercare #thisisadoption #fostermom #adoptivemom by @makingthemoffitts

To the mom who wonders if her family still belongs in the pew:

Your child’s diagnosis doesn’t disqualify them. Their disorder doesn’t disqualify you. The way you slip in late or leave early doesn’t disqualify your family. I know how much it takes just to show up at all.

You belong in that room, and I hope someone in your sanctuary is saving you a seat this Sunday.

#makingthemoffitts #thisisfostercare #thisisadoption #complexneeds #traumainformedcare by @makingthemoffitts

When she said our home could fit five children, we laughed! We couldn’t imagine going from zero to five!

And then we adopted our kids, five siblings, a year later!
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hey, I’m kayla. former foster, now adoptive + bio mama to 6. I could spend my days talking about trauma-informed care, special + complex needs motherhood, and how much you paid for your cute outfit at the thrift. let’s be friends 🫶🏻

#makingthemoffitts #thisisfostercare #thisisadoption #fostermom #adoptivemom by @makingthemoffitts

Forever wishing my love was enough to protect them from every ugly thing this world wants to hand them.

#makingthemoffitts #transracialadoption #thisisfostercare #thisisadoption by @makingthemoffitts

A child can love their adoptive family while missing their birth family, and nobody has to get their feelings hurt over it.

I say that as a mom who has felt the pinch of hearing my kid say “I miss her…” at bedtime, then having to take a breath before responding because the first thing that used to rise up in me was fear and insecurity because I wasn’t always okay with not being the only one.

I’ve had to learn that my kids can crawl into my lap and shower me with hugs and kisses while still carrying their birth mama in their hearts and admitting out loud how much she is missed by them. And the kindest thing I can do is stay steady, say “Of course you miss her. And that’s okay!” and let that feeling be welcome in our house.

And if you’re an adoptive parent who has felt that pinch too, I hope you learn sooner than I did that your child loving someone else doesn’t mean they love you less.

#makingthemoffitts #thisisfostercare #thisisadoption #fostermom #adoptivemom by @makingthemoffitts

accommodation makes room for us. inclusivity makes us belong.

we want to belong 💛

#makingthemoffitts #inclusivity #thisisfostercare #thisisadoption #complexneeds by @makingthemoffitts

A few ways I navigate feeling overwhelmed when I’m with my kids and need to address a behavior:

1) Intentional breathwork like box breathing. Inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, exhale for 4 seconds, and hold for 4 seconds. Repeat.

2) Give myself time to catch my calm. Grab an ice cube and put it in my mouth. Don’t address the behavior until the ice has fully melted. This lets me (literally + figuratively) cool down.

If I’m in the car and can’t access an ice cube, put on a song and don’t address the behavior until the song is over. This gives our bodies several minutes to regulate. I’m not a Swiftie, but I heard she has a song over 10 minutes long, so do what you need to do, mama. 🤪

#makingthemoffitts #thisisfostercare #thisisadoption #healthyhappymama #healthyhappyhome by @makingthemoffitts

Here’s to being a porch light. 💛

#makingthemoffitts #friendships #thisisfostercare #thisisadoption #thisismotherhood by @makingthemoffitts

Churches are showing up in BIG ways and I’m so thankful to see it, but friends, I’d be remiss if I didn’t say this:

We’ve still got work to do. What is ours to do? 💛

#makingthemoffitts #fostercareandthegospel #thisisfostercare #thisisadoption #ministrymatters by @makingthemoffitts

Every church I have ever been involved in has beautifully served vulnerable children and families oversees with dedicated teams and ministries.

No church I have ever been involved in has had a dedicated foster or adoptive ministry.

We don’t have to choose one or the other, Church.

We can serve, love, support, and surround families across the ocean AND those two streets over. ❤️

What can this look like? I gotchu. ⬇️

-Having WRAP teams for foster/adoptive families (a team assigned to a family to provide a meal once a week, help with visits, court dates, therapy, drop offs, etc)

-Closely holding the hands of a biological family in the process of reunifying with their child(ren) and meeting tangible needs for them

-Quarterly respite events for children experiencing foster care/adoptees so they can be in a room with others who have similar stories

-Covering therapy fees for adult adoptees, former foster youth, and birth parents who are seeking to find healing in their stories

-Support Groups for foster/adoptive caregivers

-Covering reg fees/travel for foster/adoptive parents to attend a foster/adoption conference

-Learning about TBRI and trauma-informed care for families caring for children who’ve experienced significant trauma, loss, and change

I could keep going— what would you include, families?

#makingthemoffitts #thisisfostercare #thisisadoption #fostercare #adoption by @makingthemoffitts