Instagram story viewer> @marcikm> Posts

Marci

@marcikm

484

followers

317

following

📚 Recommendations @marcisbookrecs

POSTS STORIES REELS TAGGED

Happy anniversary to me! 🦀🦀

Two years since diagnosis and chemo treatment 19 down.

I’ve been thinking about Marci of two years ago, and I’m glad she can’t see Marci today.

She’d just see the stage IV label she didn’t know about yet. She’d see short hair (she was very concerned about her hair). She’d see 14 new scars. She’d see the port and the glasses and a chemo pump and new teeth. She’d see 4 surgeries, 24 rounds of chemo, and 40 rounds of radiation.

But she wouldn’t be able to understand yet the little miracles along the way. The new and strengthened relationships, the wisdom, the lessons. She wouldn’t know about all of the support and love she’s received. She wouldn’t see the puppy who changed her life or the two beautiful books with another on the way or the trips she’s taken. She wouldn’t understand the ways in which she realized she was stronger than she knew.

I know she’d be shocked and disheartened that two years later we were still going through this. But hopeful that we’re still alive.

Dear Marci two years ago, it doesn’t look like what we wanted. But we’re still here and we’re still fighting. And we hopefully have many more anniversaries to come. 🦀🦀 taken in Intermountain Layton Hospital by @marcikm

148

25

a year ago

I have really struggled the past weeks with the idea of ringing the bell. I had thought it was something you only do once you are cancer free. I didn’t want to ring it and give false hope to me or anyone else that this was the end of my cancer story. Because there is still much more to come.

But I read about how the bell should be treated as a “joyful noise” no matter how many times it’s rung. And it was a delight to make that joyful noise and celebrate with the nurses, pharmacists, friends, and family who have been here for me all along this chemo path.

I’m still feeling a few million different emotions that I can’t quite sum up, but yesterday was a good day.

#ringingthebell #ringthebell #cancer #coloncancer #coloncancerawareness taken in Intermountain Layton Hospital by @marcikm

157

27

3 years ago

This is me an hour before I found out I have cancer. (Thanks BeReal for going off while I waited for my first colonoscopy.)
:🦀
Life’s been a little crazy the last two weeks. Things have been moving fast, and it all feels so surreal. I’ve been so loved during this time, and I’m so encouraged by all of the support. I didn’t even cry yesterday!
:🦀
So here’s the deets: Stage 3 Colon Cancer. Surgery is this Thursday. The surgeon is hopeful I won’t need chemo and I’m praying for no colostomy bag 🤢. I’m feeling overwhelmed by how fast it’s all going, but glad I don’t have to wait and think.
:🦀
So there we go. I have cancer but hopefully not for long. Wish me luck. by @marcikm

120

105

3 years ago

Scan day! Spoiler alert: they were clear!!

#coloncancer #colorectalcancer #scanxiety by @marcikm

117

25

a day ago

Every cancer camp I’ve been to this year has brought me something completely different and beautiful. This last weekend was the Breathe Now Retreat hosted by @dearjackfoundation in Savannah, Georgia. Those 4 days reminded me of the power and strength of women.

The 12 of us probably never would have met each other under any other circumstances, but one of the hardest things in our lives brought us to each other. I was so inspired to see their strength and resilience, to hear their stories, and to learn from their experiences. We laughed, we cried, we crafted.

This was also the third camp I got to attend with @emilyrecco. We live on opposite sides of the country but act like sisters who have known each other much longer than five months. What a blessing this community is to me and how cool is it to meet these people who I can immediately connect and relate to and who I can call on now for support.

It was also full circle in another way. For years my favorite musician has been @amnthewilderness. I’ve seen all three of his bands in concert and I even remember following along as he got his own cancer diagnosis. He went on to create the Dear Jack Foundation, which I donated to a handful of times. When I was diagnosed, I totally forgot about the foundation and its resources for young adult cancer patients. Thankfully I was reminded of them again and given the chance to participate in this way. I am so grateful for the people who give back and provide the support I have been craving. taken in The Brice Hotel, Savannah, Georgia by @marcikm

60

6

3 days ago

Today would have been Sarah’s 41st birthday. I realized it as I sat in a meditation session at my third AYA cancer camp of the year. And I cried knowing she would never have this experience.

Not only because she was taken so young, but also because she wouldn’t have allowed herself to have the gift of it. Being surrounded by other young adults with cancer truly is a gift for me. I have gained so much strength from hearing and sharing cancer stories. I have found lifelong friendships and support systems. It is a gift that I can meet people I never would have met otherwise, and come away feeling strengthened and inspired.

I have come to understand Sarah better in the years since my diagnosis, but there is still so much I mourn. I mourn that I never got to know her cancer journey in the way I would like. I mourn that I didn’t get to see her be vulnerable and open up in ways that I now know can be so healing.

I’m grateful I was able to spend some time with her today, even if it was from the longest distance possible. I hope she loves her friendship bracelet. 💙 by @marcikm

107

14

8 days ago

Cancer! Cancer! Cancer! 📣

I spent this last weekend in Pennsylvania with 100 other campers at Young Adult Cancer Camp. When my friend @emilyrecco’s husband could no longer attend a few months ago, she asked herself: “Who would make the best replacement spouse?” and invited me!

This was truly summer camp held at a YMCA camp with archery, candle making, matching shirts, and little sleep. I crafted for literal hours, ate mostly snacks, and dominated in The Great Dalmuti game.

But my favorite part was the conversations. I was reunited with some of my Colon Camp family, met new CRC baddies, and connected with so many others who understand what it is to be diagnosed and fight cancer when you are way too young. We talked about our fears, our faith, our hopes, and our struggles. We made dark jokes and no one batted an eye. There is so much power in this community and I am grateful for every chance I get to gain strength from them.

I came home with an arm full of friendship bracelets, hair tinsel, and fake tattoos. If that isn’t a sign of a successful summer camp, I don’t know what is.

((Check out the last pic to see how excited I apparently get about fire)) taken in YMCA Camp Kon-O-Kwee Spencer by @marcikm

113

9

a month ago

I had the COOLEST experience today in the Pittsburgh Airport! One of my goals for this year was to see one of my books in the wild. I’ve seen them in bookstores I knew they’d be in, but hadn’t just stumbled across one yet. Well thankfully I had a long wait for the airplane and walked into Hudson News “just to see”. I might have teared up when I found a copy of The Secret of the Old Clock right away.

It only got better when one of my new friends from Cancer Camp walked by and I asked her to take a picture. She then bought the store out (of their one copy 😃) and I got to sign it for her!

And THEN the bookseller said, “Oh and you also wrote The Mysterious Affair at Styles, right? Let me show you the post I sent my whole Facebook group about that book. I sold out of it right away.”

It was such a special way to end a great week at camp. My hands were shaking for the next half hour. It’s pretty cool being an author. taken in Pittsburgh International Airport by @marcikm

209

43

a month ago

How do you recap a trip that you've dreamed of for years but thought might never happen? We've been back for a few days but it felt so special that I haven't known how to share. Many tears were shed, and this will now be ranked as my favorite vacation of all time.

Growing up, Anne of Green Gables held a special place in my heart. My mom and I watched the movies together many times. Anne's over-the-top dramatics have made me laugh as I've read the series again and again. I've watched the TV and movie series, read the adaptations, and just never gotten tired of this fictional world. The author, L.M. Montgomery, had a way of talking about Prince Edward Island as the stuff of dreams. She did not overhype it, and the two words I kept using were "dreamy" and "magical". Anne would be proud.

After at least three attempts to plan this trip fell through, I knew this time I was going to make it happen. One of the things cancer is teaching me is to not wait to do the things you really want. And what better excuse than my 40th birthday with 4 of my best friends?

It's always a risk to invite four people who know each other mostly from stories I've told, put them together, and throw in some international travel. Especially when one of the airlines goes on strike 10 hours before your flight. Luckily, I have some of the greatest kindred spirits in my corner. They surprised me at the airport with matching t-shirts and stepped into action to keep me out of the depths of despair. It felt like a miracle when we all made it to Halifax.

I cried when the Anne of Green Gables play began. The music was lovely, the raspberry cordials were sweet, and even though Anne was a little too shrill for my taste AND Matthew still died, it was the perfect start to the trip.

In Avonlea, I tried poutine for the first time -- one of my goals before I turn 41!

Would you be surprised to hear I cried on seeing Green Gables? This house of dreams felt so familiar and so beloved.

My dress code for the trip included one thing: puffed sleeves. And as a testament to my love for Anne, I didn't even have to buy any. I already had enough to last longer than the trip!

The Anne to my Diana.

My bosom friends taken in Prince Edward Island by @marcikm

161

29

2 months ago

My 40 Before 40 goals list has been one of the best things I've done lately. It made me go from "I really want to do that" to actually getting things done. Some were silly, some were hard, but almost all of them got done!

Prince Edward Island will be marked off this week!!! So it still counts even if I will be 40+some days.

Plan London got deprioritized for Colon Camp and some other camps I'm attending in the fall. So I'm still adventuring!

The deck ... well that just didn't happen. I was not in a mental place this spring to get a home loan, find a contractor, make decisions, pay a lot of money. So it's being moved to next year's list. Maybe 41 is the year I realize the safety concern is getting too big to ignore.

So now on to 41 goals before 41! I'm excited for what is to come and all the things I get to accomplish! by @marcikm

62

13

3 months ago

Climb for a Cure! Today my whole family (minus Kaya) climbed for a cure in Bear Lake one day after my three year cancerversary.

Cancer is the biggest mountain I have ever climbed, but I haven't done it alone. My family has been my greatest support and I am so grateful to face this mountain with them. Suki and I hugged a 560 year-old tree at the top for longevity.

We also climbed to raise awareness and funding for @fightcrc and colon cancer research. There is still so much to do!

Sorry to my parents that my shirt had butts and the others said "get sh!t done". Oops!!

Thanks for climbing with me! 💙 taken in Limber Pine Trail, Bear Lake, UT by @marcikm

92

11

3 months ago

Survivors at the Summit :🦀 Enjoy the Journey

Last week my friend (and many times caregiver) Aubrey and I went to an event for cancer survivors and caregivers up at Brighton Resort. We started the day off with yoga where we set our intentions for the day. I wanted to feel joy. Things have felt heavy lately, but I know there can still be joy -- even when it comes to cancer.

We rode the lift, listened to live music, hiked through the wildflowers, and dedicated our tribute flags. A man in the forest drummed around us as we sat in camp chairs.

Some were there to honor those who they had lost. Some were there to celebrate remission. And some, like me, are right in The Middle. This week will be my 3-year Cancerversary.

I cried through the Celebration of Life as a cellist played on the mountainside and a stranger rubbed my back. We looked out on hundreds of yellow flags signifying thousands of stories.

I've thought before that I wish I wasn't part of this community, but being part of it has given me so much strength. And on this sky blue day surrounded by gorgeous nature and survivors of all kinds, this community brought me joy. taken in Brighton Resort by @marcikm

112

10

3 months ago