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Máti West

@matilaluz

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Take off your shoes, you’re standing on holy ground

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It’s been one month since my dear, dear, dear, sweet moony and I spent our last day together. I am a mix of deep gratitude for us finding each other and all the years of wild adventures and big fun and just wishing it never had to end. But I would choose it all again 1,000 times over. Missing her is worth every single thing it was to have her. She was supreme, perfect, the central figure of 1/3 of my life so far. We were free and wild at heart and in love with life together. We devoured every corner of this country and she kept me running towards the woods and the water at every opportunity. We lived in big love and small spaces and were each other’s home. I could tell you endless beautiful stories about her. We were one and she helped me know how big my love and my spirit are. One of my favorite moments with her was also one of the most terrifying: on a sunset walk once she chased after a coyote into the woods (she clearly thought it was a dog) and I watched them dance and jump and play together through the trees for 2 whole minutes before she frolicked back to me. It was my dream for her life that she get to live in her true wildness and see herself as a fierce hunter, the fastest runner. She will live in my heart leaping ten feet over fallen trees, playfully chasing birds off the beach and tearing through low tides with a heart full of joy. Love and light of my life, Amelia forever. by @matilaluz

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a year ago

Reaching into new depths of allowing myself and my Moony dog to be seen and held. Thank you so much for any interest, support and love you can offer to us as we navigate a cancer diagnosis and a path towards recovery and more joy filled days together ahead. Link in my bio as well as my recent story if you’d like to learn more and/or offer assistance. I can’t really articulate her goodness accurately but if you know, you know. She is love radiating and a heavy head just when you need it and I’d love for her to have a little more time leaping over fallen trees and studying squirrels and birds. by @matilaluz

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a year ago

365 days. You are easier than I could have ever imagined. Snuggly, dynamic, magic and beautiful. Thank you for reminding me to sing and dance and laugh and cry and meet the moments. And shoutout to @zack.west.54 for so graciously donating (seemingly more than) half of your genes to create the brightest light and sweetest face. by @matilaluz

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a year ago

A pantsless moment in the sauna that is our bedroom. He is learning new sounds and language at a rapid fire pace. His newly discovered enjoyment is resting his head on your shoulder for a few beats between all his rambling and babbling. Life has been breaking my spirit lately but helping him thrive and feel so safe to do so has been so sweet. by @matilaluz

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2 years ago

*A lengthy reflection on motherhood*
I do not know the chakras well but I believe that while birth is the root, mothering is the solar plexus. I have this seemingly endless source of power from the middle of my torso that reaches as far as the core of the earth. Pregnancy is magic, mystic, having the spirit of the heavens within… but motherhood is powerful, earthly. Whatever chaos comes, whatever sleep is gone… I am ceaseless in my ability to care for this vital organ of mine now living outside of my body that is my son. I realized this month that when I am with him, I no longer understand my own name. ‘Máti’ sounds made up, like some concept from another time and place. Above is a photo of me right around the time I first became Máti: wild, liberated, a little stoned. I am currently in a moment of svadyaya where I am rediscovering her through moments alone, seeing my reflection in community again and a physical form that has fully returned to me with the addition of one more scar. I am so wildly in love with who I am becoming and humbled by the reality that I now get to merge that into all of the becomings before it. The first 6 months of motherhood was like putting on a diving mask and going down, down, down and now suddenly, my gaze turned upward, I have caught a glimpse of the sun of the woman I was before. What a beautiful thing to realize that to become whole again is the next way that I become the mother I want to be for my son. It is a spiritual awakening within a spiritual awakening to realize all of these things. What a beautiful life, what a beautiful form, what a beautiful community to get to return to with this new perspective/understanding/power. taken in Temperanceville, Virginia by @matilaluz

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2 years ago

Today marks 40 weeks of growing a baby. It felt like a nice way to acknowledge this milestone to put the finishing touches on this stained glass piece I made and plan to gift to my midwife at the birth. It’s not like the things I’ve made over the years but I think there is a reason for it that I don’t yet understand. Maybe the tree is my soon to be baby, who is likely joining us as the sun moves into Taurus. And the moon is myself, a Cancer and the celestial sky is my partner, the Gemini. And this is us woven together into light. It is a truth that I will likely learn again and again and again in this lifetime: what really lifts me out of low moments is not having something done for me but doing something for others. It is waking up to the reciprocity of my entire life that saves me time and time again. I make you dinner and you hold my heart, the chickens give me eggs and I give them a fresh bed of cedar and a place to forage for bugs. I don’t know what you give someone for holding you through the birth of your first child, but apparently it is this. by @matilaluz

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3 years ago

Spaghetti dinner before and after…
But really, this is 14 weeks vs. 28 weeks of growing a human. I remember taking this first photo and laughing SO hard at how pregnant I felt and how very not pregnant I appeared. This feels like a funny way to share an experience but honestly my mother(s) have done a lot better job of sharing the news than I have, so unless you see me around it’s likely this is new information. I’ve just been over here walking the miles, doing the stretches, cooking the nourishment and feeling like a pretty exceptional home for a baby. I can’t articulate how fortunate it feels to be going through this alongside someone whose enthusiasm might just outpace my own in @zack.west.54. It is a dream come true to not just be in this experience but to feel celebrated every day by a sweet family and loving partner. Aside from the love of family, highlights thus far have been getting to meet and be cared for by Nancy Giglio, practicing yoga with @mjolowery who really makes me believe in the magic of it all, building a closer relationship to my local butcher @belmontbutchery, the deep care (and patience) with which Autumn @tomten_farm nourished/helped me through the first half AND my most retreat-y yoga and meditation experience to date thanks to @ellieburke.life @createsharerepeat and @primary.steak.holder who not only nourished me but held me accountable to really take time and space for myself. by @matilaluz

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3 years ago

It’s been one month today since Zack and I took a trip along the central coast of California and got married. This day was the kind of quiet joy that I cherish most, filled with impromptu stops to smile sweetly at one another and creating a container of love that will hold us for a long time to come. I started 2023 deliberately wishing for the kind of partnership and family I have found in you, Zack. It’s surreal to think back on how much of exactly what I dared to dream into existence came into my life in meeting you. Your values, your humor, your charm have all made me softer and braver at the same time. It is a wild unfamiliarity for me to embrace the kind of abundance that is our shared lives. To learn to trust first and let my sweet little mind step out of my way, to stop waiting for the other shoe to drop, to embrace my own worthiness through letting love into the parts of me that I haven’t ever before. I love you so much.

And all the love in our hearts goes to the people in our lives who have been such an incredible mirror reflecting the light of our love back to us with your presence. You have made it impossible to miss what a perfect blessing this meeting has been and given us permission to love one another wildly. taken in Harmony, California by @matilaluz

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3 years ago

A series of roses kissed with morning dew taken in Mission Santa Barbara - Rose Garden by @matilaluz

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3 years ago

1/2 a year ago, searching for a feeling in the Irish Sea. Connecting to time spent along the cold waters of the Salish Sea and wondering if somewhere in my DNA this place and this thing have happened before. Returning home, growing older, expanding the understanding of exactly what it is to hold human history within me. I loved this day. I remember feeling as stripped down in my spirit as I did in my flesh. Like the barrier between myself and all things had dissolved. A long bus ride, a cliff side walk, a bag of crisps and truth. by @matilaluz

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3 years ago

Did you think of me? Did it make you want to stay, even just a little? Did you know I would miss you for the rest of my life? And did you know I would plant sunflowers for you every spring? And that for a day each year you would come alive on a perfect fall day when the last of the apples are hitting the ground? I hope you did, I hope you do. taken in University of California Botanical Garden at Berkeley by @matilaluz

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3 years ago

It’s pancake day! We’re going to be slinging Papa’s famous buttermilk pancakes tomorrow (Saturday) at Old Tavern Farm in celebration of all the ripe fruits! Blueberry pancakes, blackberry syrup, strawberry jam, fresh peaches, whipped cream and sweet lemon ricotta… all made from scratch and grown right here for your enjoyment. There will be sausage and coffee available as well! 8400 S. Quaker Road in Quinton, starting at 9am. The farmstand will be open and fully stocked with summers bounty :) taken in Old Tavern Farm by @matilaluz

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3 years ago