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Nick Rothwell

@mrnickrothwell

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Former pro hockey player | Helping people and teams find balance in life | Founder of @retribers | TTT Programme | Coach

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MOVEMBER | DON'T WAIT FOR HIM TO ASK

This photo was taken on 1 November 2015, the November before I got sober, at the end of 15 years of struggling. For years I was good at hiding it, until even the pretending that all was OK was no longer something I could hide. I didn't have the language and I didn't have the tools, so there was absolutely no way I was going to ask anybody for help.

It was another seven months of pain before I was completely beaten, and two words finally slipped past my lips.

Help me.

Those two words saved my life, and you do not have to get to the point I got to. If there is a man in your life who has gone a bit quiet, don't wait for him to ask, because he probably won't. Check in on him and send him the ReTRIBE app, where there are tribes of people who have been through it, resources to lean on and an SOS button for when things get really hard, all at zero cost to users. And if that man is you, it is there for you too.

We are here for you, and we are looking for you, so please help us find you.

You can download the app through the link in my bio, which takes you to www.retribecollective.com

If you are struggling right now, please talk to someone today. In the UK and Ireland, Samaritans are there any time, day or night, on 116 123.

#Movember #MensMentalHealth #IceHockey #ReTRIBE #HockeyFirstHumanAlways by @mrnickrothwell

I was listening to Andrew Huberman’s latest episode with Ross Edgley, and there’s a bit about an hour in that I wanted to pass on.

Ross was talking about what keeps him going when his body is telling him to stop, and it wasn’t medals or records or proving the doubters wrong. It was his son. Andrew Huberman talked about how some of the oldest, deepest parts of our brain are wired around who is “us” and who is “not us,” and how much power sits in that sense of belonging.

I reckon the hockey world has always understood half of this. We’ve known for generations how to use the edge, the frustration, the chip on the shoulder, the opponent across the ice. That fire gets you out of the blocks and there’s nothing wrong with it. But anger burns out, and when the skates come off a lot of players find that the fire has nothing left to feed on.

What gets you over the finish line is knowing who you play for. Your kids, your teammates, the people you’d go through a wall for. That’s the side of the game we’ve not always been brilliant at talking about, and it’s exactly what we mean by Tough Through Tender at ReTribe. The tough gets you started, and the people you play for keep you going.

Our tribes are built on that oldest instinct of all, a small group of people who are “us,” who show up for each other week after week. The only thing on the “not us” side is the old habit of suffering in silence.

The competitive advantage will go to the people who are adopting new ways to tap into human power. Sometimes the newest way turns out to be the oldest one.

We’re here if you need us, Folks.

@hubermanlab @rossedgley by @mrnickrothwell

Thank you for the memories. Rest in Power Ron Duguay. by @mrnickrothwell

My parents never saw me sober. These three boys have never seen me drunk.

I’ve been thinking about that since my post yesterday.

This photo was taken just over three years ago, on the day I married their mom and we became a family. I’ve been in their lives for over five years now, and although they’re not my biological sons, they’re my boys.

Becoming a stepdad has been one of the most challenging and rewarding experiences of my life. There were times when I genuinely questioned whether I could do it.

I thought I needed to be some kind of super dad, someone who could fix everything and have all the answers.

How wrong I was.

These three boys have taught me more about being human than I could ever have imagined. Patience, compassion, vulnerability and the importance of saying sorry when I get things wrong.

We’ve been through a lot as a family. Difficult days, mistakes, frustrations and moments when I’ve had no idea what to do. But we’ve faced those challenges together, and I’m incredibly proud of how far we’ve come.

And this, to me, is what sobriety is really about.

It’s so much more than not drinking alcohol. It’s about showing up for life, even when it’s uncomfortable. Making mistakes, taking responsibility, learning and growing rather than looking for a way to escape.

I’m far from the perfect stepdad. But through everything we’ve been through, these boys have never seen me turn to alcohol to cope.

When I came into their lives, I thought my job was to help them become good young men. I never imagined how much they’d help me become a better man.

Sobriety hasn’t given me a perfect life or made me a perfect father. It’s given me the chance to be present for all of it.

And looking at this photo, I can’t help but feel incredibly grateful.

I’m so proud of these boys. I’m proud of us.

Love you boys. ❤️ by @mrnickrothwell

My parents never got to know me as a father, albeit a stepfather. They never got to see me move away from a life driven by ego, materialism and the need to impress others, to building ReTribe, a not-for-profit dedicated to helping people.

And perhaps most importantly, my parents never got to know me sober.

I often wonder what they would think of the man I am today. What would they say? Would they be proud of the life I’ve built and the person I’ve become?

The truth is, I wouldn’t be the man I am today without everything they taught me. Their love, their values and the lessons they passed on have stayed with me, even through the years when I wasn’t living by them. It’s taken me a long time to become the man they always hoped I could be.

I wish they could see my life today. I wish they could meet the family I have and see the work I’m doing. And more than anything, I wish I could sit down with them, have a cup of tea and just talk.

I’ve always been grateful for my parents, for everything they gave me and for the foundations they laid. That gratitude has never left me.

I miss them every single day. by @mrnickrothwell

Download the app and enjoy a zero cost to you platform full of tips and tools to help you navigate the sport of ice hockey. Link in bio to the website #retribe #toughthroughtender #icehockey #ukicehockey #hockeycommunity by @mrnickrothwell

A few weeks into the season and some teams are wondering what’s gone wrong. The results aren’t coming, the dressing room has gone quiet, and the question starts creeping in about whether the right players were brought in over the summer.
So before anyone starts ringing round the agents, don’t doubt your recruitment. Nobody forgot how to play hockey between August and October, and the talent is still in the room. What usually slips when a team struggles is everything underneath it, the trust, the honesty and the way the group talks to each other when things get hard.
That’s why we’ve put together the ReSet. We come in, sit with the group, offer some reframing from just outside the bubble, and share practical tools to help the team readjust, reset and rebalance. Sometimes a season doesn’t need new faces, it just needs a fresh start with the ones you’ve already got.
If your team feels a bit stuck, drop me a message. We’re here if you need us.
Hockey first. Human always.
#humanperformance #ukicehockey #leadership #icehockey #hockeyculture by @mrnickrothwell

𝗙𝗥𝗢𝗠 𝗨𝗦 𝗧𝗢 𝗬𝗢𝗨 💚

We’re genuinely glad there’s a day in the calendar dedicated to mental health and we’ll never knock anything that gets people talking. But after years of working alongside the hockey community, we’ve come to see it a little differently.

Mental health isn’t something that sits off to one side. It’s part of your overall health, just as much as your physical health.

We know the words “mental health” can sometimes make people switch off before a conversation has even started. That’s why we believe in speaking the language of the rink, understanding what’s happening beneath the surface and seeing the person, not just the problem.

Whether it’s pressure, confidence, identity, the end of a career or the weight of everyday life, there’s always more to a person than what we see on the ice.

For us, this goes beyond awareness. It’s about the players showing up for each other, the coaches and officials checking in, the parents learning as they go, and everyone finding the courage to speak honestly alongside those willing to listen.

Real people, sharing real experiences, can make a difference. And you don’t have to face everything alone.

We’ve been doing this work for a long time and we’re not going anywhere. If you or someone in your corner could do with a little extra support, we’re here.

We can do a little more… and we are that little more. 💚

#WorldMentalHealthDay #ReTribe #HumanFirst #IceHockey #UKHockey by @mrnickrothwell

Hockey parents might be the most underserved people in the game.

The paying, the taxi driving at silly o'clock, the cheering from freezing stands and the chats in the car on the way home, all with no blueprint and no manual. I'm a hockey parent myself, and even after a lifetime in hockey I'm still figuring it out and still making mistakes.

This week we're sharing JP's three-part series on resilience for hockey parents, and this line stuck with me: "children's ability to show resilience is often dictated by the adults around them." So who's supporting the adults?

Inside the ReTribe app, we want to support parents just as much as players. You're not on your own in this. Download the app, link in bio to the website

#HockeyParents #IceHockey #YouthHockey #HockeyFamily #HockeyMum #HockeyDad #Resilience #YouthSport #ReTribe #ToughThroughTender by @mrnickrothwell

Folks, we've pulled together a whole load of tips, tools and information to help you navigate sport and life, and all of it comes at zero cost to you. It lives in the ReTribe app, so you don't have to go digging for it.
I do see the irony of telling you this on social media, but that's exactly the point. The app is there to cut through the noise and give you a steady stream of what actually helps, without the endless scroll that usually comes with it.
And because it matters, we don't sell your data, we don't use it for advertising and we never will. We're not in that business and we have no interest in being in it. The only thing we're interested in is people, and making sure nobody has to go it alone.
So download the app and come and join the movement. It's built on community, connection and accountability, and there's a place in it for you.

Link in bio to downloand

#ReTribe #UKIceHockey #IceHockeyUK #BritishIceHockey #EIHL #NIHL #WNIHL #GBIceHockey #HockeyFamily #HockeyParents #IceHockeyOfficials #PlayerWelfare #MentalHealthInSport #HockeyFirstHumanAlways by @mrnickrothwell

𝗪𝗛𝗔𝗧 𝗗𝗜𝗗 𝗟𝗜𝗔𝗠 𝗞𝗜𝗥𝗞 𝗗𝗥𝗘𝗔𝗠 𝗢𝗙? 💭

We’re continuing our conversation with our first active ambassador, GB captain Liam Kirk, as he looks back at the dreams he had growing up.

In this episode, Liam talks about what he wanted to achieve as a kid, the players he looked up to and the ambitions that started to shape his journey in hockey.

It’s always interesting to look back and see where the dreams started and where they eventually took you. 👀

Don’t forget, you can still bid on Liam’s one-of-one signed Hull Alumni jersey, with all proceeds helping ReTribe continue its work supporting the hockey community👇

👉 https://www.zeffy.com/en-GB/ticketing/signed-hull-alumni-liam-kirk-jersey-auction?fromOnboarding=true

#ReTribe #LiamKirk #IceHockey #UKHockey #HumanFirst by @mrnickrothwell

Folks, it's the first of October and the NIHL season is up and running, so this one goes out to every player, coach, official and parent across the league.
This month our Tough Through Tender pillar is Self-Awareness, which is all about noticing the sensations in our body, the feelings that come with them and the stories we build from them, and recognising that we always have a choice in how we respond.
I like to describe the body as a NASA control centre, full of gauges and whistles and valves and warning lights that start flashing whenever life throws something at us. Most of us were never shown how to read that control panel, so the alarms go off and we just react, and anyone who's taken a daft penalty in the third period knows exactly what that looks like. Throughout October we'll be sharing practical tools in the ReTribe app to help you start listening to your body, so you can learn to respond to life rather than react to it.
And here's the bit I really want you to hear. All of this is in the app at zero cost to users, because hockey is expensive enough already. Between skates, sticks, ice time and the petrol to get to the rink at stupid o'clock, nobody needs another bill, so the tools are there for anyone in the hockey family who wants them.
Download the ReTribe app on the website, link in bio

#NIHL #NIHLNational #UKIceHockey #EnglandIceHockey #IceHockey by @mrnickrothwell