Fizapreet

As someone who lost her mom in childhood, I noticed that never in my life did anyone check in on me during mother's Day, except for my dad maybe. This day was (and still is) all about celebrating some idealized notion of motherhood people carry. But nowhere was there space to acknowledge that Anna Jarvis founded Mother's Day to grieve her own mother's loss, and to create a day for daughters worldwide who’ve lost theirs to honour that grief.

Then capitalism entered the chat, appropriating the day through corporations selling "celebrations" in the way they know best. And what we know about this system is that it doesn't want people to pause and grieve. Thus my grief never found space or validation, because at a collective level, we are made to avoid grief for the discomfort it carries. So we'd rather numb ourselves and force shallow joy onto our bodies.

But I don't want to live in a world where realising joy means locking my grief away where it's invisible to others, palatable enough for them to consume in small chunks. No, our grief will not be palatable. We're here to reclaim this day, to grieve, to re-member our mothers with all our raw emotions: anger, love, hurt, disappointment. Not to eulogize the relationship, but simply to be.

And this is exactly what happened in this gathering. We realized we just needed to bring together a room full of daughters sharing this grief, and that was enough. Our roles as facilitators ended there; we became redundant, and rightly so. It was an honour and a pleasure to witness what unfolded in that room.

Sometimes coming together in shared grief is enough to dismantle systems.

My understanding of this loss has expanded and I am learning that grief cannot be rushed, so I'm slowing down, taking a pause, smiling at my silliness, and tending to my tears.
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Thank you all who made this happen, the daughters who joined, @bicblr for offering the space, and special thanks to @ofthemindandheart and @gyanchiiii 💜💜

Participants' faces or profiles are not shared to protect consent and privacy; however, consent was obtained to share their clay artworks.