Martin Martinez

My family always had parties that left people talking. In the good way. So I have to be able to do that, right? Yeah. It hasn't done me wonders. I don't blame them, of course. Nobody forced me to do that. But it's burned me out. Whatwith being a bartender for 15 years, doing thousands of weddings. Funerals. Births. Deaths. Celebrations of maturing. It's left me a little worse for wear, I think. I wish I were more extroverted.

Since it's my birthday, I enact the "I can say one thing and not be held accountable" rule. Because that's a thing. Right?

I'm tired. Of life. Of loss. Of feeling hollow. I have friends. Family. I'm in therapy and doing the pills and the work. It's done little. Yes, something is better than nothing.

Is it.

I should be better. I should be happy. I have a warm roof over my head. People who love me.

So why can't I feel it? What's wrong with me?

Regardless. I'm Top 5 in the FaveChef competition. I'm starting a new job soon. I'm thankful for what I have.

"It can always be worse." - U.S.A, 202... eh pretty much since Reagan.

#hashtag #birthday #favechef #realme #iguess