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Martin Martinez

@smoothinterlocutor

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Eager to sell you your own pen, whisper sweet nothings into your ears, and read you a bed time story whilst making all the wrong voices!

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That's about it.

#tired #existence #mentalhealth #norest by @smoothinterlocutor

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2 months ago

I thank those who supported me.

I think we're done here..

#hashtag #blessed #favechef #tired #cookingthings by @smoothinterlocutor

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3 months ago

Cooking. Food. Flavour. What defines food? Is it how edible it is? How flavorful? I want to know, and then share it with everyone.

#hashtag #blessed #favechef #tired #cookingthings by @smoothinterlocutor

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3 months ago

I'm a quarter-finalist. How did I get here.

I'm still in the running. And now it heats up. So what dish should I make?

I'm thinking Enchiladas Verdes.

I thank those who have helped me come this far. Without you, none of this would have ever happened. I'd like to win. I'd like to do something right, for once.

Vote fo me: favchef.com/share/701b

#hashtag #blessed #favechef #cookingthings #humans

I love you. by @smoothinterlocutor

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3 months ago

July 4th.

A day of celebration. This country earned its independence. Good for them.

Now they deprive many of life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

How quaint.

Anyway, enjoy my fajitas I cooked in a storm, at night, in the rain, while tired, in the fires of Mt. Doom.

#hashtag #blessed #favechef #cooking #humans by @smoothinterlocutor

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3 months ago

My family always had parties that left people talking. In the good way. So I have to be able to do that, right? Yeah. It hasn't done me wonders. I don't blame them, of course. Nobody forced me to do that. But it's burned me out. Whatwith being a bartender for 15 years, doing thousands of weddings. Funerals. Births. Deaths. Celebrations of maturing. It's left me a little worse for wear, I think. I wish I were more extroverted.

Since it's my birthday, I enact the "I can say one thing and not be held accountable" rule. Because that's a thing. Right?

I'm tired. Of life. Of loss. Of feeling hollow. I have friends. Family. I'm in therapy and doing the pills and the work. It's done little. Yes, something is better than nothing.

Is it.

I should be better. I should be happy. I have a warm roof over my head. People who love me.

So why can't I feel it? What's wrong with me?

Regardless. I'm Top 5 in the FaveChef competition. I'm starting a new job soon. I'm thankful for what I have.

"It can always be worse." - U.S.A, 202... eh pretty much since Reagan.

#hashtag #birthday #favechef #realme #iguess by @smoothinterlocutor

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4 months ago

#

Text by @smoothinterlocutor

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4 months ago

I've made more mistakes than I can count. And I live haunted by them. I wish I could say this was just melodrama, but it's the truth; I don't let things go. Especially mistakes I've made. I don't deal well with loss. Not in the "cry for months" way. In the "unhealthy coping mechanisms and stress" way. I keep trying to learn. Change. Adapt. Improve. And honestly? I don't feel much different. Just older. Sadder. Still I try. Though, I am not certain why. I often wonder whether I even know how to "love" correctly.

I'm sorry. I can never stop apologizing enough. I don't know if there even is a way to ever repair anything. Just know, no one can ever despise me more.

#birthday #humans #tired #debtfreejourney #mentalhealth by @smoothinterlocutor

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4 months ago

God. Please don't let this just be another. Thing. I'm putting my faith and trust in those around me. I'm just, really nervous.

#hashtag #blessed #favechef #cooking #tired by @smoothinterlocutor

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4 months ago

I'll be honest. I still can't believe how far I've gotten here. I'm not sure what's next, but I'm looking forward to it all the same. I love you. Thank you.

#hashtag #blessed #favechef #cookingthings #humans by @smoothinterlocutor

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4 months ago

How did this happen

#hashtag #blessed #favechef #cooking by @smoothinterlocutor

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4 months ago

I'm functional. I work. I think.

#hashtag #humans #tired by @smoothinterlocutor

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4 months ago