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@proactive.j.parenting

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Creating Light in the Chaos -One drawing at a time!

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by @proactive.j.parenting

8

2

a year ago

In How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk, the authors emphasize that to gain a child's cooperation, it's crucial to first join their world. This means acknowledging their feelings and experiences without immediately correcting or commanding them. When adults take a moment to genuinely connect by listening with empathy, getting on their level, and showing understanding, children feel seen and respected. This emotional connection creates a sense of trust and makes them more open to cooperating because they feel valued rather than controlled.

#parenting by @proactive.j.parenting

7

2

a year ago

Instead of this:
“Put the book down now and go brush your teeth! I’ve told you three times already.”

Try this: (joining their world)
The mother sits beside her child, notices the book’s title, and gently says:

“Whoa… you’re right at the part where the dragon finds the hidden map? I’d want to keep reading too. But even brave adventurers need to keep theiLet’s pause here, brush together, and you can tell me what you think happens next while we brush.”

Why this works:
She validates the child’s excitement.

She joins the child’s story instead of interrupting it.

She makes brushing feel like part of the adventure, not a punishment.

The connection helps the child shift gears without resistance. by @proactive.j.parenting

6

2

a year ago

“You don’t even know it yet, but you’re helping me grow too.”
As parents, we often think our job is to shape our children, but what we rarely say out loud is how deeply they shape us.

When a child climbs onto our shoulders, they trust completely. They don’t ask if we’re strong enough, wise enough, or ready. They simply reach for us and somehow, we rise to meet them.

In that simple moment, we grow:

In patience, as we slow down to match their pace.

In strength, as we carry not just their weight, but their wonder.

In softness, as we see the world through their eyes again.

In purpose, as we remember that love is found not in grand gestures, but in small, sacred ones.

This mantra reminds us that parenting is not a one-way act of giving, it’s a mutual transformation. While we're busy raising them, they're unknowingly raising us too: into gentler, wiser, more grounded versions of ourselves. by @proactive.j.parenting

5

2

a year ago

To parent is to be G-d’s partner in nurturing a soul into the world.

What’s one little thing your child does that reminds you how special this role really is? by @proactive.j.parenting

8

4

a year ago

🖍️ This little drawing shows what can happen when we invite our kids into the solution.

Instead of nagging or threatening, I used a problem-solving approach inspired by the book How to Talk So Kids Will Listen & Listen So Kids Will Talk (Faber & Mazlish):

✨ We talked about both of our needs
🧠 We brainstormed ideas
📊 My child made a chart
🍦 And chose ice cream as the prize for sticking with it!

Turns out, when kids feel heard, they show up with creativity—and cooperation.

#ParentingTools #HowToTalkSoKidsWillListen #GentleParenting #EmotionallySafeParenting #ParentingWin #ProblemSolvingWithKids by @proactive.j.parenting

9

0

a year ago

Every child holds a divine spark, a neshama created intentionally and lovingly by G-d.
When we remember that our children are not just ours, but G-d’s sacred partners in creation, we begin to shift:

how we speak to them,
how we hold their pain,
how we witness their growth.

Even in moments of exhaustion, anxiety, or emotional fog, we can reflect back their worth with a quiet presence, a soft gaze, or a gentle word.

That alone says:
You matter. You are seen. You are sacred.

This drawing speaks to a child’s inner voice, the kind shaped not by perfection, but by connection.

“G-d made me precious, and my parent sees that too.”

This is the foundation of emotional safety and spiritual identity.

It’s not about parenting perfectly.
It’s about showing up with humility and heart, even when we’re struggling.

That is holy work.
That is enough.
Shabbat Shalom by @proactive.j.parenting

9

4

a year ago

When kids don’t listen to nighttime boundaries, here are a few ideas how you can respond with calm authority and emotional connection.

1. Expect Testing as Normal, Not Defiance
Remind yourself: “My child isn’t giving me a hard time. They’re having a hard time.”
This shift keeps you calm and effective.

2. Set the Boundary Again. Clearly and Calmly
Repeat the rule without escalating or negotiating.

Example:
"I’m not going to argue. It’s nighttime, and it’s time to stay in your room. I love you, and we’ll talk in the morning."
(Then walk away. Don’t get pulled into a power struggle.)

3. Use Natural Consequences, Not Punishments
Make it clear that staying up late costs them something real the next day.

Examples:

"If you come out after lights out, we’ll move bedtime 15 minutes earlier tomorrow to help your body rest."

"If you stay up late, you’ll have to skip screen time in the morning because your body needs quiet time."

4. Make a Plan During the Day, Not at Night.
If it keeps happening, talk when everyone’s calm.

Something like...
"I noticed nights are feeling hard lately. I know it’s tough to wind down sometimes. Let’s figure out some ways to make it easier so you can stay in your room and feel good about bedtime."

Let them help make the plan. It gives them ownership.

5. Empathize Without Giving In
You can hold your boundary and be kind.

Example:
"You really wish you could stay up and talk. I get that. It’s hard to stop the day. But it’s still quiet time now."

6. If They Keep Coming Out: "Reset and Remove Attention"
Gently lead them back to bed with minimal words. Avoid lectures.

Repeat calmly:
"It’s bedtime. Let’s go."
No extra attention = less motivation to keep testing.

7. Praise Progress, Not Perfection
Notice even small wins.

Example:
"You stayed in your room last night even though I know it wasn’t easy. That shows so much maturity."

#sketchdaily
#ConsciousParenting #GentleParenting #BreakTheCycle #ParentingWithLove #EmotionalSafety #RaisingYourself #ConnectedKidToolkit #RespectfulParenting #DisciplineWithDignity by @proactive.j.parenting

15

10

a year ago

Everyone always seems to need something from us. The to-do list never end...meals to cook, messes to clean, emotions to manage, appointments to keep. But here’s the truth: if we want to keep showing up for everyone else, we have to show up for ourselves first.

What would recharge you right now?

Maybe you need connection—a coffee with a friend, a walk with someone who really listens, or even just a heart-to-heart via text.
Maybe you need quiet, ten minutes with a book, a long shower, a solo drive with music you love.
Maybe you need movement—a dance break in the kitchen, stretching, a walk in fresh air, or even chasing your kids around the yard with a purpose.
Maybe you need a treat, something just for you. Your favorite snack, a new candle, a fun podcast, or a tiny splurge that makes you smile.
Maybe you need to laugh—a silly meme, a nostalgic movie, a moment of goofiness with your kids.
Maybe you need to create, to write, draw, bake, garden, or just build something that feels like you.
Or maybe… you just need to be alone, even for five minutes, to exhale without anyone pulling on you.

Check in with yourself. What do you need—not as a parent, not as a partner, but as a person?

You matter too.

#ParentingSupport #MomBurnout #OverwhelmedMom #TiredParents #mentalloadofmotherhood #mentalload by @proactive.j.parenting

10

4

a year ago

To quote @sarahchanaradcliffe from her daily emails. "Sometimes we wish we had more patience with our kids. But patience is really CONFIDENCE. When we know what we're doing and we anticipate success, we can afford to be patient. On the other hand, when we're confused, overwhelmed and/or hopeless, we lose our patience. To increase your own patience, continue to acquire parenting skills and options by continuing to study parenting strategies"
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#jewishmoms #jewishmom #jewishdad #parentingtips #parentwin #gentileparenting #progressnotperfection #trustyourself #trustchildren #punishmentfreeparenting #conciouslove #trustbasedparenting #attachment #maturity #emotionalhealth #selfcompassion #selfhealers #raisingthefuture #conciouslove #teaching #leadbyexample #proactive.j.parenting
#kosherfood #kosherfoodie #koshercooking by @proactive.j.parenting

18

3

4 years ago

When trying to engage children's cooperation, try using just a word. They may need an additional prompts, but it is a good tool to start with when reminding children of their daily tasks. #gentileparenting #progressnotperfection #trustyourself #trustchildren #punishmentfreeparenting #conciouslove #trustbasedparenting #attachment #maturity #emotionalhealth #selfcompassion #selfhealers #raisingthefuture #conciouslove #teaching #leadbyexample #proactive.j.parenting by @proactive.j.parenting

20

5

4 years ago

When children are given choices, it helps us engage their cooperation.
Illustration: Moshe Pekar
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#gentleparenting #positiveparenting #jewishmoms #jewishholiday #jewishwomen #jewishdads #parenting by @proactive.j.parenting

15

2

5 years ago