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psyloni

@psyloni

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All vibes are welcome.
Used to be @science.with.psyloni back when I had a life 📚

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:3 taken in Muzaffarpur by @psyloni

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4 months ago

I gotta be awesome because the person I am becoming is a direct reflection of her, and she is, quite simply, the GOAT. There's a specific kind of courage that comes from being loved by a woman like my mummy. She didn't just raise us, she built us to be kind and upstanding, to choose civility over gossip and integrity over easy lies. She is my strength and my moral compass. Her resilience is actually baffling, she's a total force of nature, mummy, and 'superhuman' strong. After everything she's achieved with no help whatsoever, figuring things out on her own, she still smiles with that same grace. Seeing her power through it all and keep that spirit high is proof that she's just built different. She has been through life's hardest shifts, teaching herself whatever she needed to know just to make sure we were capable. She learned the world so she could hand it to us. We've always been best friends, all of us, and we've watched her move mountains for this family, only to turn around and serve dinner like it was nothing. If I become even half the woman she is, I'll consider my life a success. We are who we are because of her. My mission now is to make sure the woman who worried for everyone finally has nothing to worry about. She deserves the world, and I'm gonna give it to her. Miles to go before I sleep. by @psyloni

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5 months ago

for the love of all things sane, please don't let me chop off my hair this time! talk me out! guys?!?!?! 🤧 by @psyloni

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7 months ago

मुश्किल है बेशक ज़िंदगी पर थोड़ा सा मुस्कुरा ले 🌻 taken in Sayaji Rao Gaekwad Library (Central Library), BHU by @psyloni

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7 months ago

In Hindu philosophy, there is a profound grace in the "Pralaya", the great dissolution. It is often translated to destruction, but it essentially means reabsorption. Just as Shiva must dance the world into pralaya to clear the path for a new creation, our lives often require a total collapse of the old self. When you feel like you’re breaking down to the point of no return, you aren’t just falling apart; you are entering your own personal Kalyug, where the structures that no longer serve you are being dismantled. This "rock bottom" is the sacred ground of the Brahmand, where the noise stops and the void begins. It is only when you are completely stripped back to your essence that you gain the clarity to build a life that is actually worth living. Destruction, in this sense, is just the first step of a rebirth. taken in IIT Kanpur by @psyloni

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9 months ago

They took away the only friend I had left on campus with whom I could spend time without hesitation. taken in Hall 4, IIT Kanpur by @psyloni

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a year ago

এই দিনটা ভীষণ রঙিন, আমি সেটা ভালোবাসায় তুলে রাখলাম।

the guest house | rumi taken in IIT Kanpur by @psyloni

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a year ago

ज़िंदगी गुलज़ार है 🌻 by @psyloni

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a year ago

sundar saloni sunday spam ✋🏼🙂‍↕️
story time in the third slide 🗣️🗣️ taken in IIT Kanpur by @psyloni

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a year ago

✨🌻 It is the best day since yesterday 🌻✨ taken in New Lecture Hall Complex IIT Kanpur by @psyloni

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a year ago

Kinza wanted me to share this, and since she's a pookie, I think you should check it out - my nanhi-munhi vlog of the rain at IIT Kanpur! 😤🫶🏻

Btw which eyeliner do you guys like? taken in IIT Kanpur by @psyloni

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a year ago

I never thought I’d post this, but here goes nothing. A lot of my family members and friends already know I grew up believing I was ugly. No matter what anyone told me, I could never see anything good in the mirror. And the funny thing is, I never even tried to look better, whatever that "better" meant, because I didn’t see the point of putting effort into something that felt so unfruitful. I thought I’d rather just study.

Still, my skin always used to be clear and healthy. Even in my teenage years, when my pretty friends were breaking out, I didn’t. And then I came to IIT Kanpur. I started gaining weight. I started breaking out. I made bad choices. I became a mess.

And even now, even though I know I’ve come so far, both emotionally and academically, I still look the same. Sometimes worse. I still feel ugly. I lock myself inside my room for days. Being seen feels like something I have to brace for. I spiral. I unravel. And I try not to go back to that dark place I worked so hard to crawl out of.

Yes, I feel insecure. But that’s just being human, isn’t it? Sometimes I look at people around me, girls my age, even older, looking so effortlessly pretty, and it vexes me. I hate that it does, because I don’t want to be that kind of person. I don’t want to be bitter or jealous. I just want to feel okay in my own skin.

My acne and scars. My dark lips and dry cheeks. My chubby face, the double chin, the fat arms, the love handles, I get so scared of them that I start to lose myself. From unintentionally starving myself, to holding back tears just so I don’t wash off the serum on my face.

This post isn’t for pity or praise. It’s for me. If everyone has already seen what I’m so scared of people seeing, then maybe there isn’t much left to be scared of anymore. So, here I am now. Bare. For everyone to see. taken in IIT Kanpur by @psyloni

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a year ago