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Rebeca

@readwithrebeca

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I know Woolf isn’t for everyone, but sometimes I feel like she writes just for me. Only a few other authors speak to my soul this way (Clarice Lispector, Emily Brontë, Donna Tartt and Elena Ferrante). When I finished The Waves, I thought “Wow, this is the most beautiful book I’ve ever read,” and I still believe it. It is the perfect representation of what it feels like to have a conscience and connect with other beings. Woolf wrote about friendship, the passage of time, our perception of ourselves and others, all the feelings that we experience, and our constant attempt to escape this final moment to which we will all come one day: the sun setting. I can’t wait to read this all over again and ruminate on the ebbs and flows of this absurd life. And now I leave you with too many quotes.

“But in order to make you understand, to give you my life, I must tell you a story—and there are so many, and so many—stories of childhood, stories of school, love, marriage, death and so on; and none of them are true.”

“I cannot remember my past, my nose, or the colour of my eyes, or what my general opinion of myself is.”

“Among the tortures and devastations of life is this then—our friends are not able to finish their stories.”

“The world is beginning to move past me like the banks of a hedge when the train starts, like the waves of the sea when a steamer moves.”

“But I do not wish to be first through the gate, to assume the burden of individual life.”

“Now I will wrap my agony inside my pocket-handkerchief.” by @readwithrebeca

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14 days ago

“There’s a way up somewhere, a little step to climb, you’ve just got to find it.”

There it is, one of the great, beautiful lies of capitalism, which Zweig exposes ruthlessly in The Post-Office Girl. Coming from a time that was more difficult than ours, Zweig was always far ahead, tackling thought-provoking topics without restraint. In The Post-Office Girl, Christine, a government clerk in post-WWI Austria, becomes the vessel through which Zweig shows how poverty strips you bare and destroys you until there is nothing. Have you ever spent evenings dreaming about everything you would acquire or do if you won the lottery? Without realizing it, you were probably creating a new identity, a new sense of self. It is what Christine experiences when she is invited to the Swiss Alps by her wealthy aunt. The story is divided into two parts: a luxurious fairy tale, then a brutal come-back to reality. Zweig excels at creating these contrasts, and we even see it in his writing. His prose is very descriptive, lush and elegant, but the substance is cold and bleak. And although this book has some rough edges, it’s perfect given the circumstances in which it was written. Every time I read Zweig, I am left with this feeling of having been bewitched, as if I had been watching a disturbing horror movie without ever being able to look away. It is all so real and relatable.

“Because suddenly she hates everyone and everything, herself and everyone else, wealth and poverty, everything about this hard, unendurable, incomprehensible life.” by @readwithrebeca

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a month ago

Things I Don’t Want to Know by Deborah Levy

“What do we do with knowledge that we cannot bear to live with? What do we do with things we do not want to know?”

In Things I Don’t Want to Know, Deborah Levy explores the reasons she became a writer. To do so, she uses the 4 motives stated by Orwell in his essay “Why I Write”: sheer egoism, aesthetic enthusiasm, historical impulse and political purpose. In the essay, Orwell explains how much his motives have changed throughout the years and how one remains: “What I have most wanted to do throughout the past ten years is to make political writing into an art. My starting point is always a feeling of partisanship, a sense of injustice.”

And that is something Levy comes to terms with in this book. She was a child who didn’t speak up and she explains how writing became a way of truly expressing herself. This memoir is a soft but striking portrayal of the defining moments that have made her the creative that she is. Between examining the role of women in our society and witnessing the horrifying violence of Apartheid in South Africa, Levy found her own voice. As someone who quietly noticed everything when she was little, Levy found that writing was a revolutionary act. Finally, she was loud.

I loved reading this memoir, and I will think about it for a while. The way Levy assembles specific pieces of her life is really smart. It is a great reminder of how literature is always political, and it will make you think about all the things you don’t want to know. by @readwithrebeca

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3 months ago

Middlemarch by George Eliot

I wish we talked about Middlemarch and Dorothea as much as we talk about Anna Karenina, but, unfortunately, we don’t, and that is exactly why Mary Ann Evans had to use George Eliot as a pen name. Dorothea might be one of my favourite characters of all time, who said one of my favourite lines in Middlemarch: “What do we live for, if it is not to make life less difficult to each other?” She’s opinionated, she doesn’t dwell on her mistakes, she follows her intuition, and most of all, she strives to see the best in people, not in a naïve way but as a conscious choice. And isn’t it the entire point? Middlemarch studies young people who enter adulthood in the 19th century with great expectations and encounter disappointment at every turn. It explores how women were bound to marriage, and how it could determine the entire trajectory of their lives. Throughout the book, Eliot materializes into this brilliant, witty narrator who comes in to bring back reason or to laugh at characters. Various characters are suddenly exposed in different ways, and everyone who may have seemed irreproachable is now just… human! Eliot captures greed, ambition, gossip and love brilliantly. And between those long, very descriptive paragraphs, there is nothing but the true face of humanity and its flaws. And I will always agree with what Woolf said about Middlemarch: it is the novel for grown-ups. When you start thinking about how adulthood is just a big scheme our parents tried to sell us, I recommend you read Middlemarch. You’ll realize it’s true, but also that the key to navigating through life might be actively choosing happiness even when everything is difficult. by @readwithrebeca

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3 months ago

I read Middlemarch, which Woolf called “one of the few English novels written for grown-up people,” and I feel really proud. I’m working on a little review. I read my first Guadalupe Nettel, “Still Born,” which gave me a unique insight into motherhood. A book everyone should read. Then I read “The Woman Destroyed,” another great one. It captures the experience of women who see their identity collapse in the hands of men and society. My first Beauvoir. And then, Dubliners! As a short-story enjoyer, I found this a delight to read. I loved the way Joyce portrayed childhood and Dublin at the time. And I have often felt a little like his characters, unable to change, paralyzed, and trapped in the routine. Haven’t we all? I’ve been reading some great books, but for some reason, it’s harder to write reviews these days. Sometimes I can’t find the right words. But also sometimes it feels good to not react instantly and take my time to figure out what I think about a book (and maybe change my mind)…

Hope you are well :) by @readwithrebeca

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4 months ago

The Remains of the Day by Kazuo Ishiguro

The Remains of the Day centers around Mr. Stevens, one of the great butlers of England during World War II. Now, near the end of his professional career, he has the opportunity to take a trip and admire the landscapes of the English countryside for the first time. During this six-day excursion, Mr. Stevens recalls memories of his life and dares to share some painful ones. He reflects on the importance of his profession and the meaning of “dignity,” a butler’s core value.

There are some interesting lessons to learn from Mr. Stevens: from his mistakes and his emotional detachment, but also from his acceptance of having lived a modest life behind closed doors. Mr. Stevens finds comfort in his work and idealizes his former employer. However, he ends up completely alone, having neglected everything else. At the same rhythm he tells his story, he slowly realizes he has more regrets than he thought.

Here, Ishiguro uses his classic, serene voice, but also writes with great confidence, so much so that it becomes hard to believe the characters never existed. The author explores professional etiquette, social classes and people who dedicate their lives to serving others. What I love about this book is how Mr. Stevens’ true character is constantly revealed through glimpses of his life, but also by the way he lingers on some stories just a bit too long. Ishiguro excels at showing without telling, and it’s one of my favourite aspects of his style.

What did you think about this one? by @readwithrebeca

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4 months ago

Loved and Missed by Susie Boyt

“I wished I could be more immune to the effect my behaviour had on her: how her reactions struck my features and how her face then responded to the rapid contortions she saw in mine. We were a mirrored room with hundreds of reflections flashing back and back and back.”

If a book is calling to you, please answer. Sometimes we read books because they are popular, or just because we think we “should” read them, but some of the best reads are the unexpected ones. For me, that was Loved and Missed, the story of Ruth, who adopts her granddaughter, because her own daughter deals with addiction. It is estrangement, love, addiction, grief, and female relationships told in the softest way possible. It is women who take care of each other through the saddest moments of life. While this book is emotional, I also found it tender, comforting and funny! The tenderness remains because Boyt leaves the worst unsaid. The characters are not defined by their flaws and mistakes, but by their love and their good moments. This book shifts the perspective and makes us wonder, “How does a parent feel when they have to be the one cutting contact?” Also, once you discover the double entendre behind the title, you can never forget it. It is brilliant and beautiful and the best book I’ve read this year! by @readwithrebeca

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5 months ago

Perfection by Vincenzo Latronico

“They lived a double life. There was the tangible reality around them, and there were the images, also all around them.”

With their cool remote jobs and “irreproachable morality”, Anna and Tom live in Berlin, in their perfect midcentury apartment. However, behind the curtains hides a hideous monster: discontent. This book really worked for me, especially as a satire. It was like witnessing the hyper-maximized version of a couple who call themselves “woke creative expats”. The horrifying part wasn’t just how they were at times too unaware of their privilege, but mostly how they constantly remained in a state of worry and desire for more. It was fascinating to me how Latronico portrayed global problems in a few pages. As much as we think we’re more connected to each other than ever, we still live in our own little bubbles, shielded by the same things: neighbourhoods, cool cafés, clothes and trendy lattes.

“In a way, they had become radicalized.” by @readwithrebeca

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5 months ago

Intermezzo by Sally Rooney

“Peter like a child again, flare-ups of bad temper ignored. Unacknowledged. Look at me. Why do you have to leave. Why does everyone, why does everyone always have to leave me, why. Actually, I’m sorry, before I settle up, I’ll have the same again. Vodka, yeah, thanks. Can I pay with card?”

Reading Intermezzo felt like being swept away by the current; a flood of complicated, but very human, emotions. In a world that feels like a perfection contest, I deeply appreciated reading about this nuanced, competitive dynamic between two brothers. I don’t think this book is about justifying Peter and Ivan’s behaviours, but more about understanding where they come from. Rooney shows us the effects of growing up with an absent mother and dealing with the death of a parent early in life. And again, she does it with a striking prose that doesn’t need much ornament. I had to get used to her writing style again during the first chapter, and when I did, I couldn’t stop. My second Rooney, and another great one!

“And yet for both Peter and Ivan, this particular feeling has perhaps been more important, more intense than for other people: the desire to win all the time, and also the naive youthful belief that it would be possible to live such a life, now soured by experience.” by @readwithrebeca

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5 months ago

Good Morning, Midnight by Jean Rhys

“This damned room - it’s saturated with the past… It’s all the rooms I’ve ever slept in, all the streets I’ve ever walked in. Now the whole thing moves in an ordered, undulating procession past my eyes. Rooms, streets, streets, rooms…”

Good Morning, Midnight follows Sasha as she visits Paris and reminisces on her memories associated with this metropole - only to find out her traumas are not that far away. In a hotel room, she seems to become again the same person she once was. Between the upper class, nice cafés and expensive hats, Sasha always comes back to this cheap, dirty hotel room with no sunlight and empty bottles. What room is it again? It is this ugly, depressing, suffocating room in which we find ourselves trapped at one point in our lives, and hope to never see again. It is where Sasha remembers the abuse she endured as a woman.

“My life, which seems so simple and monotonous, is really a complicated affair of cafés where they like me and cafés where they don’t, streets that are friendly, streets that aren’t, rooms where I might be happy, rooms where I never shall be, looking glasses I look nice in, looking glasses I don’t, dresses that will be lucky, dresses that won’t and so on.” by @readwithrebeca

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6 months ago

Leonora Carrington was a wonderful discovery. Saw her mentioned by the beautiful @ofbookishbondage and decided to dive into her works. Then, @nyrbooks kindly sent me her books. 🤍

If Down Below was about descending into madness, The Hearing Trumpet was about listening to your own voice and fearlessly jumping into new adventures, no matter the age. Both are interesting feminist works that remind you, not just to colour outside the lines, but completely erase them. I admit, The Hearing Trumpet was difficult. It required total concentration and an open mind. And still, many things were left blurred… But in the end, diving into Carrington’s work is about accepting the surreal and leaning into the fact that you’ll never know where she takes you. Carrington has now captured my attention, and I look forward to another trip… The next one will be into The Stone Door. by @readwithrebeca

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7 months ago

Wuthering Heights by Emily Brontë

“I’ve dreamt in my life dreams that have stayed with me ever after, and changed my ideas; they’ve gone through and through me, like wine through water, and altered the color of my mind.”

This is my favourite book. When I first read the French translation at sixteen, I fell in love. A piece that I first interpreted as a toxic love story revealed itself to be more throughout the years: a tale of violence, passion, class and generational trauma. I think Emily Brontë was a genius, a special human who observed the world and human relationships in a unique light, even though she was often described as very antisocial. I will always love this story she crafted, shaped by insufferable, immature people, wild moors, and haunting ghosts. Reading those pages will always take me back to those long summers in the countryside where I felt really lonely, to a gusty wind entangling my short curly hair and to a vast land with an endless horizon. And when I go back to the world of Wuthering Heights and Thrushcross Grange, I will, again, mourn the fact that we lost a talented writer too soon, and long for another book written by Emily Brontë.

“She never had power to conceal her passion, it always set her whole complexion in a blaze.” by @readwithrebeca

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8 months ago