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Violet Riot

@rivetd0ll

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𝕒𝕝𝕚𝕖𝕟 𝕥𝕣𝕒𝕤𝕙 👽🛸 𝕙𝕦𝕞𝕒𝕟 𝕨𝕣𝕖𝕔𝕜

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Went up on my mood stabilizer and now I'm manic. I think that's why I got dressed up all cute today with pearls etc. My husband notices it way before I do and he's so sweet about it. I talk too much with an insistence, have racing thoughts, make plans I'll later regret, clean everything, can't sleep or eat much, buy things I don't need and start craft projects I'll never finish. I had to leave work cuz I felt very unstable and just couldn't devolve there. I don't want to embarrass myself or bother any of my friends at work. I have the weekend off so I'm hoping to stabilize during some down time. I have a wonderful support system and am so grateful to have friends and family that love me regardless of my mood. It took me most of my life to realize that mania is not just feeling happy after wanting to d1e but a serious and concerning mental illness that can have devastating consequences. Every time I've cheated on someone, I was manic, hypersexual and mentally ill. That's not an excuse to cheat and I take full responsibility for my actions but I'm mentioning it to illustrate how untreated mental disorders can really fuck shit up. Some people might think I should keep this type of stuff to myself but I want to erase the stigma surrounding mental health concerns especially ones with a mostly negative reputation like bipolar disorder. I'm an open book and like to share my life with others. My DMs are open if you need someone to talk to but I might send 20 responses back lol. Unabashedly yours. Much love. 🖤

#bipolar #bipolar2 #endthestigma by @rivetd0ll

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6 months ago

Major trigger warning!!!

Here is my contribution to dismantling rape culture: an autobiographical song about sexual assaults called ME TOO. This single also includes a cover by @sheismouthy and an instrumental song.

All proceeds will go to RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) to protect those from sexual assault. https://www.rainn.org/

https://violetinruins.bandcamp.com/album/me-too

Available on all streaming services soon.

Thank you to the early listeners who gave me the courage to share this with the world. Your support means the world to me.

Please share this post to raise awareness and funds for RAINN.

IT WASN'T YOUR FAULT AND YOU AREN'T ALONE.

#metoo #metoomovement #rainn

🖤🎶🖤 taken in Portland, Oregon by @rivetd0ll

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12

3 years ago

A little over a month ago, we went to one of the best shows of our lives [besides the ones we used to play together]. I miss you already muffin and love you so very much!!! 🖤💋🐰

@ali_the_hair_goddess #aliaudacious #violetriot taken in Crystal Ballroom by @rivetd0ll

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2 days ago

I'm really fucking annoyed. Someone close to me is being an ableist asshole. How many diagnosed medical conditions do I need to have before I'm not shamed or made to feel lazy for wanting to limit the amount of walking I do in painful shoes on a sunny day? This tit for tat bullshit is not appreciated and anyone who behaves as such should be ashamed for being such a heartless piece of shit. Fuck off. 😡

#eds #violetinruins #violetriot by @rivetd0ll

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7 days ago

I literally don't know how to drive without singing. 💋🎤

@ali.audacious @ali_the_hair_goddess
#violetriot #violetinruins #ayeshaerotica taken in Portland, Oregon by @rivetd0ll

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14 days ago

Spotted at the @slayyyter how at @crystalballroom by @ali.audacious @ali_the_hair_goddess and no, I didn't get to go backstage. 🖤💋

#violetriot #violetinruins taken in Crystal Ballroom by @rivetd0ll

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18 days ago

You will barely get a mention in the story of my life. 💅💋✨️

#violetriot #violetinruins #riotgrrrl #trevorbrown taken in Oregon by @rivetd0ll

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21 days ago

My version of heaven is me and you sitting in my car during winter in heated seats and holding hands and me playing you every single song I've ever loved. 🖤🖤🖤

Sorry about the dirty mirror.

#pinkhairhoneymoon by @rivetd0ll

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23 days ago

I've been to hell and back over the last month or so. Finally went back to work today after being on medical leave for a month for wanting to d1e every day. It's a long story [that I will post soon cuz I don't want anyone going through what I went through] but my bipolar meds and hormones are leveled off and I can trust myself with my thoughts again. Felt like this big change in my outlook and life deserved new hair. I also went to the Slayyyter show a week ago and am gonna go through the footage soon. BITCH I'M BACK. 💅

#bipolar2 #pmdd #violetriot by @rivetd0ll

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a month ago

My cat Ashley passed away in my arms yesterday afternoon. She was put to sleep due to end stage kidney failure. Next month will be two years since Charlotte passed and now I don't have anymore kitties. I have a dog and he's sweet and all but I'm very much a cat person. Charlotte and Ashley are all I had when I was in an abusive relationship. They bridged the gap between leaving the biggest asshole ever and me building the family I have now. Emma grew up with both cats and has had both of them taken from her within two years. She's a resilient girl but I wish she didn't have to be. I didn't want to go to sleep last night, knowing Ashley would never plop her furry side into my face when I'm sleeping and purr on me ever again. A close friend recently lost their cat to the same thing. I was having the worst mental health episode of my life and then this happens. I really need an emotional break.

Thank you Ashley for the almost 15 years of unconditional love and affection. For helping me be strong when I didn't know if I could be. For allowing me to be your pet and you my owner. I'll never forget you, your love or your beauty. 🥺🥹 by @rivetd0ll

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a month ago

Yesterday I was feeling very anxious and had a heart rate of 140. Later I had been lying down and get out of bed to get something to eat. Several feet away from the bed, I fainted and hit my head. My husband and daughter heard the bang of me hitting my head on the dresser from downstairs and ran up to me. My husband said I was unconscious. He shook me and I woke up. I didn't know what happened. I was very tired but stayed awake for a while before I slept through the night. My head was not bleeding but the side of my head I hit hurts. I've messaged my primary physician to see where I go from here. I had been told by my rheumatologist that I had POTS but the in office exam with my primary didn't show the usual symptoms [it wasn't a tilt table though]. With my weeks long mental health crisis [pmdd, new birth control patch and bipolar], dying cat and this, idk how much more I can handle. Any ideas/suggestions/advice? Cute pic for tax. 💔

#itsoknottobeok #crazybutcute #🖤 by @rivetd0ll

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a month ago

I'm mentally unstable and my cat is sick. Idk if this is pmdd or a bipolar episode or something else but shit just keeps getting worse. I have 6 days to get my shit together cuz I bought me and sissy early access tickets to @slayyyter Sat night and I've been looking forward to it so much until this depression whatever took all the joy from my life. I just want to be happy again. I would do ANYTHING to be happy again. 💔

#slayyyter #bipolar2 #pmdd by @rivetd0ll

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a month ago