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Simple Modern Therapy | Relationship & Mental Health

@simplemoderntherapy

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Inclusive relational & mental health care for “Everyone Else in Utah” ❤️‍🩹
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These are moments I used to dream about (and at one point wouldn’t allow my self to dream it.)

Sometimes I take for granted how healing everyday gender-congruence can be. The quiet moments when I feel aligned and at home in my self.

So, I am trying to savor the small glimmers. As queer people, we need that in this painful world.

I wish gender euphoria on everyone—it is beautiful. I hope you get to feel that today! 💖

#trans #nonbinary #lgbtq #queer #gendereuphoria by @simplemoderntherapy

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This weekend at General Conference, the LDS Church used a lot of words for the people who left.

“Wayward souls.” “Members of diminishing faith.” People who are “sinking” - losing altitude so gradually they don’t notice until they’re already down. People held back by “addiction, doubt, pride, pain, grief, guilt.” People whose departure is framed, depending on the speaker, as moral failure, spiritual neglect, or Satan’s slow work on a heart that wasn’t paying attention.

Notice what all of these have in common. Every single one positions the problem in the person who left. Not in the institution. Not in the information they found. Not in the years of asking questions that went unanswered. In them. by @simplemoderntherapy

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We deserve better than “at least I didn’t discriminate against you”.

Therapy has not been a safe place for queer people. Our history is steeped in “therapy” being used as a weapon against us, with people in positions of power trying to “cure us”. So it makes sense that the bar is low for what we expect out of therapy and therapists. But, we can expect more because we deserve more.

One of my biggest frustrations with my profession is how we conflate affirming someone’s identity with clinical competence. While affirming LGBTQ+ people is foundational, it is just the beginning of building clinically attuned therapy for queer people. Good enough therapy is not good enough. We need affirming and deeply skilled therapists to help us heal from the wounds of society and shame.

I’m on a mission to fill the gap. Stay tuned. 👀

#therapy #lgbtq #queer #queertherapy #gay by @simplemoderntherapy

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What Bednar didn’t say is that this framing isn’t new. The LDS Church has long positioned itself as the primary loyalty structure in a marriage - above the couple, above what two people might work out between themselves. The covenant isn’t just between the spouses. It’s between each spouse and God, mediated by the church. Which means when one spouse leaves, the religion gets to define what that departure means.

Calling it apostasy - in the same breath as infidelity - is outrageous. It’s institutional self-protection. It keeps the church at the center of the faithful spouse’s life and makes repair in the marriage contingent on return to the covenant path, not on the two people finding each other.

Mixed-faith marriages can survive. Some do, beautifully. But not when one partner has been handed a framework that makes loving their spouse conditional on the church’s verdict about who that spouse now is. by @simplemoderntherapy

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3 days ago

It is so freeing to be nonbinary. Rather than having to choose between being masculine and being feminine, I get to be both. They are compliments, not contradictions! I get to explore, experiment, and express myself using all the colors, aesthetics, and beauty that exist, without feeling like I need to sacrifice who I am. What a gift. 💝

Gender exploration can feel scary at first, but the more we get comfortable with our selves, the more fun it can be. We hear a lot about the difficulties of being trans, nonbinary, queer… but there is also so much beauty and joy. We deserve to honor the part of lives as well.

I love being me. And I hope you love being you, too! 💋

#lgbtq #queer #trans #nonbinary #beauty by @simplemoderntherapy

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7 days ago

This weekend at General Conference, the LDS Church used a lot of words for the people who left.

“Wayward souls.” “Members of diminishing faith.” People who are “sinking” - losing altitude so gradually they don’t notice until they’re already down. People held back by “addiction, doubt, pride, pain, grief, guilt.” People whose departure is framed, depending on the speaker, as moral failure, spiritual neglect, or Satan’s slow work on a heart that wasn’t paying attention.

Notice what all of these have in common. Every single one positions the problem in the person who left. Not in the institution. Not in the information they found. Not in the years of asking questions that went unanswered. In them. by @simplemoderntherapy

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8 days ago

Our society needs healing, and it won’t come from scapegoating trans people.

Increasingly we are seeing the wounds of toxic rigidity to gender expectations bleed out all around us. The manosphere is spreading its illness and we have a charge to stop it. This isn’t new, but it is spiking. What we are seeing is not normal, organic, or healthy. It is pathological, and it is on us to name it so that we can address it.

This isn’t to say that masculinity is bad. But if your masculinity requires you to disconnect from yourself, others, and humanity, it is.

Healthy gender is about authenticity, not adherence.

#trans #queer #masculinity #gender #lgbtq by @simplemoderntherapy

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9 days ago

What does it cost to be told, before you've learned anything, that some knowledge is off-limits?

Not forbidden outright. Just framed as spiritually risky. Something to approach carefully, if at all. Something that - if it starts producing conclusions that don't fit - means you need more faith, not better information.

President Oaks said this weekend that “God expects us to learn by both scientific and spiritual methods”. He also said “never let your secular learning limit your spiritual horizons”. Those two instructions cannot coexist without a hierarchy. And the talk told you exactly which one wins.

For people who left the church because of what they learned - about its history, about their own identity, about their body - that hierarchy isn't abstract. It's the framework that told them that the Church isn’t the problem, their conclusions were. by @simplemoderntherapy

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10 days ago

I almost changed my outfit because of my belly outline. I loved the look, but then I noticed the curves of my body. I could feel my familiar insecurities creep in, and my confidence dampen. The familiar voices felt so loud— “shrink, restrict, starve, hide.”

But, then I remembered that I have worked too hard to heal my relationship with my body. The belly, in many ways, is a badge of self love.

Our bodies are our homes for our souls, not a house for our shame. They are not meant to be hidden.

So, this is your reminder to wear the cute look. Let your body show. Because, it truly is beautiful.

#therapy #body #bodypositivity #fallvibes #outfits by @simplemoderntherapy

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14 days ago

Betrayal trauma doesn’t only describe what happens between a person and their abuser. It describes what happens when the institution you trusted to protect you prioritizes its own survival instead. The Church routing abuse disclosures through its law firm isn’t a policy failure, it’s the policy. And the psychological cost of that lands on the people who were already harmed.

What systems theory makes visible is that survivors who push for real accountability aren’t the problem. They’re the disruption the system was designed to manage. The institution’s goal has never been justice. It’s been equilibrium.

If you’ve experienced this - inside the LDS Church or any institution that investigated itself - your anger is not a wound that needs healing. Anger is the appropriate response. by @simplemoderntherapy

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15 days ago

A vulnerable peek behind the curtain.🫶🏽

#lgbtq #queer #trans #nonbinary #therapy by @simplemoderntherapy

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16 days ago

Steven Hassan’s BITE model identifies four domains of control in high-control groups: Behavior, Information, Thought, and Emotion. If you watch or listen to General Conference its worth doing so from that lens because you’ll see all four.

If you’re watching with believing family, you don’t need to debate a single talk. Arguing doctrine inside their frame is a losing game - the frame is the point. Just notice what the language is doing, and notice what your body does in response. That’s data in real time. by @simplemoderntherapy

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17 days ago