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Dr. Solimar | Birth Trauma & Loss Therapist -NY/CT

@sol_materna

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Specialized psychotherapy for reproductive loss, and trauma. Serving NY, CT & MA. Connect with me!

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It’s finally published!!! 📚💭💡I’m so proud to share my chapter, Transforming Perinatal Bereavement Care: Centering Trauma-Informed and Culturally Competent Practices for Black Women.

This work comes from years of listening, witnessing, and standing alongside Black women and birthing people navigating profound loss. It is both an offering and a call to action: that perinatal bereavement care must be rooted in cultural humility, trauma-informed approaches, and a deep understanding of systemic inequities that shape grief.

My hope is that this chapter adds to the growing conversation and becomes a guiding tool for providers, systems, and communities to reimagine how we care for Black women—not only in moments of crisis, but in building pathways of healing, dignity, and justice.

I am honored to contribute to this body of work, and I hope it helps spark the changes our families deserve.

#PerinatalLoss #GriefSupport #TraumaInformedCare #CulturallyResponsiveCare #BlackMaternalHealth #PerinatalMentalHealth #ReproductiveJustice #GriefAndHealing taken in New York, New York by @sol_materna

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a year ago

This reel was inspired by the recent NPR article about Adriana Smith, a 30-year-old pregnant nurse declared brain dead in Georgia, where her advance directive was no longer honored due to her pregnancy.

As a perinatal palliative care consultant, I see how compassionate, ethical, trauma-informed care can guide families and medical teams through impossible decisions. Palliative care doesn’t mean giving up—it means upholding dignity, centering humanity, and aligning care with a person’s values, even in the face of complex laws.

We are not just talking about policy. We are talking about real people, real families, and real harm.

Perinatal palliative care should be at the table during these moments—offering support, guidance, and clarity. As consultants, we help teams navigate ethics, reduce moral distress, and ensure that birthing people are honored, even when their voice is no longer present.

We must do better.

#AdvanceDirectives #ReproductiveJustice #MoralDistress #PICUMemories #TraumaInformedCare #EndOfLifeDignity #PregnancyRights #MaternalHealthEquity #SayHerName #HealthcareJustice #BIPOCBirthingPeople #PolicyChangeNow #SocialWorkReflections #DignityInDeath #PerinatalEthics #TrustPatients #perinatalpalliativecare #adrianasmith #georgiaabortionlaw #NPRnews #thisisamerica by @sol_materna

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a year ago

Now Accepting New Clients in NY & CT

If you’re navigating the complexities of fertility, loss, birth trauma, identity shifts, or the deep emotional work of becoming or not becoming a parent—you’re not alone. I offer therapy that honors the whole story of reproductive and maternal mental health, rooted in cultural humility, trauma-informed care, and deep clinical expertise.

I’m now accepting new clients located in New York and Connecticut for virtual therapy.

I also offer clinical consultation for therapists and mental health providers seeking to expand their skills in reproductive mental health, with a focus on perinatal loss, grief, trauma, and identity.

This work is sacred, layered, and worthy of thoughtful, high-quality care. If you’re ready to invest in therapy that goes beyond symptom management and holds space for your lived experience—I’m here.

Let’s work together.

Therapy | Clinical Consultation | Reproductive Mental Health Specialist

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DM or visit www.solmaternatherapy.com to schedule a consult or request a service.

#ReproductiveMentalHealth #PerinatalTherapist #MaternalMentalHealth #NYTherapist #CTTherapist #BIPOCMentalHealth #PremiumTherapyServices #GriefSupport #FertilityCounseling #BirthTraumaTherapy #TherapistForTherapists #PerinatalLoss #TherapyForWomen #VirtualTherapy #ClinicalConsultation #TherapistsOfInstagram #InvestInYourHealing taken in New York, New York by @sol_materna

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#PregnancyAndInfantLossAwareness
#PregnancyAndInfantLossRemembranceDay
#PerinatalLoss
#GriefAndHealing
#PregnancyLossSupport taken in New York, New York by @sol_materna

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4 days ago

We want to be helpful when people we love are suffering, but why is it so hard to say the right thing?

You don’t have to say the right thing, BUT here are some things we know are not so helpful to say to a friend who has just lost a pregnancy:

“Everything happens for a reason” 🚫
“It was God’s plan” 🚫
“You can always have another baby” 🚫

And some things that can be helpful:

“I’m thinking about you and your baby”✔️
“Do you want to tell me about (insert baby’s name if possible)?”✔️
“I’m going to bring over dinner tomorrow. Let me know if you have any allergies or preferences” ✔️

Listen to the full episode with Dr. Solimar Santiago-Warner, where she breaks down the layers of grief following pregnancy and infant loss and gives practical tools for loved ones to help carry the load.

Episode available at link in bio

#PregnancyAndInfantLossAwareness #PerinatalMentalHealth #GriefSupport #WhatNoMomToldYou #InfantLossAwareness by @sol_materna

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5 days ago

When someone experiences pregnancy or infant loss, what do we say? What do we do? And how do we continue to show up long after the loss?

During Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month, I want to invite those of us working within healthcare systems to reflect on how we care for grieving families.

Not everyone who encounters a grieving parent is a therapist or grief counselor. We are physicians, nurses, social workers, sonographers, medical assistants, and countless others whose interactions can leave lasting impressions.

Sometimes, the most meaningful care happens in the smallest moments.

Acknowledging that a baby existed. Using their name. Sitting with silence. Simply saying, “I’m so sorry. I wish things were different.”

But what happens six months later? Three years later? During an annual exam, an ultrasound, or an intake?

The body does not always follow the timeline we assign to grief.

Grief can resurface through physical sensations, medical procedures, or seemingly ordinary questions like, “How many children do you have?”

The body may continue to carry memories of pregnancy, love, and loss long after the medical record has been closed.

What if we approached care with this understanding?

Perhaps we would ask permission before touching someone’s body. Reconsider how we ask about pregnancy histories. Document losses sensitively. Or simply ask, “Is there anything about your experience that would help me care for you today?”

We do not have to be therapists to offer therapeutic moments of care.

But compassion cannot depend solely on individual providers. It must be reflected in our systems, our language, our protocols, and how we make space for the diverse experiences of all birthing people.

A person’s loss does not have to be recent to be worthy of our tenderness.

Perhaps the question isn’t simply, “What is the right thing to say?” but rather:

How do we create systems where grieving families consistently feel seen, respected, and supported?

And what is one thing we can each do differently tomorrow?

#PregnancyAndInfantLossAwareness #PerinatalBereavement #TraumaInformedCare #PerinatalPalliativeCare #EmbodiedGrief by @sol_materna

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6 days ago

Pregnancy and infant loss is way more common than people think and way more isolating than anyone admits.

We don’t always know the right way to help. That’s why we invited Dr. Solimar Santiago-Warner on the podcast. In today’s episode, she shares how a simple “I’m thinking of you” can be way more powerful than you know.

As October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month 🩷🩵, we want to remind everyone that there is a good chance someone you know has gone through this experience. If you want to learn how to support a loved one, it's worth the listen.

Full episode at link in bio.

#PregnancyAndInfantLossAwareness #PerinatalMentalHealth #GriefSupport #WhatNoMomToldYou #InfantLossAwareness by @sol_materna

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6 days ago

October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month. 🩷🩵

One in four pregnancies end in loss. Pregnancy and infant loss does not look the same for everyone and grief isn’t a linear path.

Next week our guest is Dr. Solimar Santiago-Warner, a psychotherapist specializing in perinatal mental health and palliative care.

She joins us to talk about supporting parents through pregnancy and infant loss, what to say (and what not to say) to parents who have gone through this, and how we can show up for loved ones while they are grieving the loss of a baby.

Episode available Tues. October 13th. All episodes can be found at link in bio.

#PAIL #pregnancyandinfantloss #pregnancyandinfantlossawareness #pregnancyloss #infantloss by @sol_materna

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9 days ago

October is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month.

There are some losses that do not end when we leave the hospital, put away the ultrasound pictures, return the maternity clothes, or answer the first painful question about how we are doing.

Grief can stay with us in quieter ways.

In a body that was preparing to welcome a baby and is suddenly asked to understand an absence.

In milk that comes in when there is no baby to feed.

In a hand that instinctively rests on a belly that is no longer carrying a pregnancy.

In the first period after a loss. The first postpartum appointment. The first time someone asks, “Do you have children?” The first pregnancy announcement that catches you off guard.

And sometimes, years later, in a date the body seems to remember before the mind does.

Pregnancy and infant loss is not only the loss of a baby. It can be the loss of an imagined future, a version of oneself, a sense of safety, and a relationship with a body that suddenly feels unfamiliar.

This is why acknowledgment matters.

We do not have to find the perfect words. We do not have to make grief smaller or rush someone toward healing.

Sometimes care begins simply by being willing to remember with them.

Every loss matters. Every family’s grief deserves to be witnessed, held, and cared for.

This month, and always, we remember the babies who were deeply loved, however brief their lives may have been. And we remember the families who continue to carry them.

#PregnancyAndInfantLossAwareness #PerinatalLoss #PregnancyLoss #InfantLoss #PerinatalMentalHealth @rtzhope taken in New York, New York by @sol_materna

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12 days ago

October holds a special place in my heart.

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Month is a time to remember the babies who are deeply loved and profoundly missed, and to honor the parents and families who continue to carry that love with them.

Pregnancy and infant loss can be incredibly isolating. Grief does not follow a timeline, and it does not always look the way others expect it to. It can live in our memories, our relationships, our bodies, and in the future we imagined.

This month, I hope we make more space for these stories. Space to say their babies’ names. Space for grief without rushing toward healing. Space for joy and sorrow to coexist. And space for families to know that they do not have to carry this alone.

To every parent and family remembering a baby this October, I am holding space for you, your grief, your love, and your baby. 🤍

Remembering together. Supporting one another.

#PregnancyAndInfantLossAwareness #PregnancyLoss #InfantLoss #PerinatalLoss #PregnancyAfterLoss taken in New York, New York by @sol_materna

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18 days ago

#SolmaternaTherapy #PerinatalMentalHealth #ReproductiveGrief #MaternalMentalHealth #TraumaInformedTherapy taken in New York, New York by @sol_materna

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22 days ago

There are histories in the room that will never appear in the medical chart.

When an Afro-Latin family enters the sacred and impossible space of perinatal palliative care, they do not arrive only with a diagnosis.

We arrive with histories.

With Blackness and Latinidad. With languages that hold things differently. With grandmothers and ancestors. With relationships to medicine shaped by race, migration, survival, faith and belonging.

We may arrive with prayers whispered in Spanish. With rituals carried across generations. With ways of understanding birth, death, motherhood, the body and what it means to accompany someone we love.

And none of this can be captured by checking a box marked “Hispanic.”

Culturally responsive perinatal palliative care requires more than translation.

It asks us to become curious about what a family carries.

What does this baby’s life mean within this family?

How do they understand what is happening?

Who needs to be here?

What traditions, rituals, sounds, foods, prayers, touch or silence matter?

How does this family want to love this baby with the time they have?

During Hispanic Heritage Month, I am thinking about heritage not simply as something we celebrate.

Heritage is also what we carry into the rooms where life begins and, sometimes, where life ends.

And perhaps one of the most profound acts of care is making room for all of it. #AfroLatinidad #PerinatalPalliativeCare #PerinatalLoss #HispanicHeritageMonth #ReproductiveGrief taken in New York, New York by @sol_materna

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a month ago